BRUSHBUDDY ; BABY BOY ; PURE ANGEL ; SON
listen, I just think Artemis deserves some joy within her life and I have grown very, very attatched to this little guy and when i workshopped the responses lakhfakdhf I just couldn't NOT make him canon ; so here's a monster entry for the little dude and info on this now permanent mascot
CLASSIFICATION: XX (Harmless / May be domesticated)*
MINISTRY STATUS: Non-threat. Barely registered. Considered a rodent
Widely considered "more nuisance than danger"
(which is both accurate and deeply underestimates the creature's capacity for chaos)
The brushbuddy is a small, round magical creature approximately the size of a grapefruit, possessing a dense body beneath an absurdly long, silky coat and a tail nearly as large as the creature itselfโcarried in a sweeping plume that knocks over anything on low shelves and puffs to twice its volume when alarmed or pleased.
Native to forested areas with dense undergrowth, it nests in hollow spaces lined with stolen fabric, wool, and soft materials, demonstrating a nest-building instinct that translates in domestic settings to stolen socks, scarves, and anything else that can be dragged to a designated sleeping area.
The creature communicates through chirps, warbles, trills, and a distinctive snuffling that serves as both greeting and commentary, with experienced handlers identifying at least twelve distinct emotional states, most commonly satisfaction, disdain, nervous sneezing, and unearned smugness.
Omnivorous and opportunistic with a strong preference for sweets, it will steal food from unattended plates without remorse, holding offerings in both paws while consuming them with profound satisfaction.
Brushbuddies exhibit an attraction to inkโdrawn to bottles, pots, quills, and freshly written pages with a fascination that borders on obsession. They will investigate, paw at, roll in, and occasionally attempt to consume writing implements if left unattended, a behaviour that has ruined countless manuscripts, library collections, and the patience of archivists throughout wizarding history.
This compulsion is believed to be linked to the creature's historical use as a natural cleaning assistant in libraries and archivesโthe mild magical properties in its fur that once made it valued for dusting parchment also make it unreasonably drawn to anything involving written work, transforming a useful trait into a persistent liability.
Its minimal magical properties include low-level empathic tracking, ambient warmth generated by the tail that has been reported to improve sleep quality in nearby handlers, and the aforementioned fur-cleaning qualities that are significantly less useful when the creature is determined to coat itself in the very substance it might otherwise help preserve.
Requires regular grooming to prevent mattingโa process the creature tolerates with martyred patience and an expression of deep inconvenience. Stealing is not a behavior that can be trained out; it is a lifestyle. Judgment is permanent. Approval cannot be earned through effort, only through being deemed acceptable. There is no appeal process. Keep ink bottles sealed.
TIME OF AQUISITION: Arround two / three months after Artemis' displacement.
LOCATION: Outside the Library / Early Afternoon
STATUS: Adopted. Beloved. Spoiled Rotten.
Artemis discovered the brushbuddy beneath a windowsill bench outside the main entrance to the Library. It had been enthusiastically investigating a nearly empty, abandoned bottle of black ink that had been left behind by a careless student โ the bottle had been knocked over by the creature itself, its little body had squeezed into the opening as if to soak up all the residual ink.
When approached, the brushbuddy emerged from the gap in an absurdly adorable waddleโ Its fluffy tail dragged behind it, stained with ink and spreading it against the stone flooring. Its paws were stained. Its face was decorated. It looked up at Artemis with large, innocent eyes and immediately made the tactical decision to trust her.
Footsteps echoed from the far end of the corridor. The brushbuddy did not hesitate. It scurried directly between her feet, curled its tail around her ankles, and made a small, snuffling sound.
Artemis โ who was already charmed โ responded by offering her palm for it. She laughed when it climbed along the length of her arm and perched upon her shoulders. The fur had tickled, it's actions were deeply adorable โโ she pressed her cheek to it affectionately, telling it that she wouldn't let anyone hurt it.
Mattheo had arrived first โ he stopped for a few seconds, watching as the little creature nuzzled into her, ink staining her cardigan (one he had picked out during a trip to Hogsmeade when they realized she needed clothes) The brushbuddy looked up at him โโ It pressed closer to Artemis' neck in a claim.
"Milford." His voice came out rougher than intended, scraping low in his throat. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and tucked it behind his ear with a practiced motion. "What is that. Why is it on you. Why is itโ" He gestured vaguely at the ink situation. "Decorating."
The brushbuddy made another snuffle. Defensive this time. Mattheo's eyes narrowed at it.
Did that thing just fucking sass me.
Artemis had titled the creature as an 'Arte-Buddy' with a twist on its name that she was very proud about (she shouldn't have been, it was horrible)
The brushbuddy puffed up slightly at the acknowledgment of its new title, tail tightening around the back of her neck in a gesture that looked disturbingly proprietary. Its ink-stained face turned toward Mattheo with an expression that could only be described as smug.
Is that thing fucking laughing at me.
His jaw worked. The thing had ink on its mouth. Ink on its paws. Ink transferring onto herโonto the collar of that cardigan, onto the curve of her neck where its fluffy tail was curled like it had every right to be there.
Touching her. Wrapped around her. Pressed against skin he'd been trying not to think about touching for weeks.
I'm jealous of a rodent. I'm actually jealous of a rodent. This is rock bottom. This is beneath rock bottom. This isโ
It was around this time that Lorenzo had approached; a charmed cup of tea floating at his side โโ he was highly amused by the situation, watching one of his friends look as though he wanted to fight a ball of fluff. This information would be used at a later date.
A comment was made by Lorenzo โ the observation that the creature was claiming her; in which Artemis responded that the little ball of fluff had far better taste than the two of them (Lorenzo was deeply, deeply wounded by thisโ)
Lorenzo reached out toward the creature, extending a single finger in a silent gesture โ the brush buddy regarded him with a look of pure suspicion, sniffed the tip of his finger like a cultured aristocrat examining questionable wine โโโ It sneezed on him
Artemis didn't hesitate to retrieve a tissue from her bag, cleaning up Lorenzo's hand from the spattering of ink โ she scolded the little creature gently, referring to it as her 'darling baby boy' and 'Don't judge your dad's too harshly,'
Both men ceased to function. The brush buddy continued to judge;
The little creature judged him, making a small sound that even she could read as disdain. "Ohโ Come onโ Stop being dramaticโ" her hands were careful when handling the creature, taking it within her hands and holding it in front of her, staring at the thing with exasperation.
"I know that he looks scary and he's probably a little grumpy because he hasn't slept goodโ But he's a good guyโ" she exhaled softly. "Besidesโ One of your other dads is probably going to be a lot worseโ" she was, undoubtedly referring to Draco. "So, do try t' get along, alright?"
Mattheo hadn't moved. Hadn't blinked. The wordย good guyย was doing something catastrophic to his internal architecture, rewiring circuits he didn't know he had, because no oneโย no oneโ had ever looked at him and called him good.
Dangerous, yes. Violent, absolutely. Useful, occasionally.
Butย good?
She told a magical hamster that I'm a good guy. Like it's fact. Like it's justโ obvious.
The brushbuddy turned its face toward him again. The disdain was gone, replaced by something almost contemplative. Its nose twitched once. Twice.
Then it made a small, warbling soundโand held out one ink-stained paw toward him.
Mattheo stared at it.
"Did it justโ" His voice came out strained. "Is itโ offeringโ"
"I think," Lorenzo said, something soft and warm in his voice, "your son is accepting you, mate."
The paw remained extended. Waiting. Patient. Wriggling a little.
The noise that sounded from Artemis was a mixture of awe, surprise, and an affectionate pride that only a mother could have toward their child. "Ohโ" she sounded like she was going to start crying, one hand moving to cover her mouth as she watched the fluffy creature extend a single paw toward him.
Mattheo's hand came upโslow, uncertain, the kind of careful he usually reserved for defusing curses. His finger touched the tiny paw. The brushbuddy's toes curled around it, grip surprisingly strong, and it made a sound that could only be described asย satisfied.
Something in Mattheo's expression cracked.
"Oh," he said, very quietly. "Okay. Okay, that'sโ yeah."
Artemis closed her eyes and looked away (it was all very theatrical) her heart had grown at least three sizes bigger than her chest could contain. "I can'tโ this is soโ Good boyโ"
Lorenzo watched this happen with an expression that was doing too many things at onceโamusement and affection. Then he stepped closer to Artemis, close enough that his shoulder brushed hers, and dropped his voice to a murmur meant just for her:
"You know Draco's going toย lose his mindย when he finds out you've assigned him paternity without consultation."
Artemis' attention shifted to Lorenzo when she felt his shoulder against her own, head tilting slightly to look up at him. "Yeahโ" her voice strained softly. "It might be a good idea to not tell him about this for a whileโ"
Lorenzo's laugh was quiet, warm, the kind that rumbled from somewhere low in his chest. "Not tell Draco," he repeated, sounding deeply amused. "So we're keeping aย secret childย from him. That'sโ that's the dynamic we're establishing here. I'm dad number one, you're dad number twoโ" He gestured loosely at Mattheo, who was still staring at the brushbuddy's paw curled around his finger like it held the answer to something he'd been asking for years.
"โand Draco is the estranged father who doesn't know he's a father yet. Fantastic.ย Brilliant. He's going to have an absolute fit when he finds out. I'm already looking forward to it."
The brushbuddy chirped. Pleased with itself. Its tail had loosened from Artemis's neck just enough to curl around Mattheo's wrist insteadโa small, fluffy anchor, binding him to the scene whether he wanted to be or not.
and thus started an adorable little addition to the growing family ...
THE CREATURE: The brushbuddy, small, round, approximately seventy percent tail by volume. it possesses an absurdly fluffy coat, judgmental eyes, and absolutely no respect for personal space, hierarchy, or expensive fabrics.
He is kept immaculately clean at all times so that ink will not stain its white fur โ Artemis has established a grooming routine involving warm water, gentle soap, and the kind of patient dedication that only the mother of an absurdly fluffy son could produce. The creature tolerates bath time, and emerges fluffy, soft, and smelling faintly of whichever dessert-scented soap Artemis has managed to get her hands on.
ITS NAME: Artemis refers to it by whatever pet name occurs to her in the momentโ"darling," "sweetheart," "little one," "my love," "baby," "gremlin," "monster," and on one memorable occasion, "you little shit." The creature responds to all of them with equal enthusiasm. It does not require consistency. It requires affection. It receives affection in abundance from this woman.
Lorenzo Berkshire: Accepted his designation immediately. Has embraced the role with unsettling enthusiasm. Refers to the creature as "our son" in conversation with a straight face. Has attempted to fashion a miniature jumper from charmed wool. The brushbuddy preened despite the horrid attempt at magical knitting, it now uses the jumper as another thing to sleep on.
Mattheo Riddle: Resisted for approximately four hours before the brushbuddy curled up in his leather jacket pocket and fell asleep โ Mattheo will deny that he is carrying the little creature if asked, he will also check his pockets before sitting down to ensure that the brushbuddy won't be crushed, he will deny that he gives a shitโ stating he doesn't want blood on his favourite jacket. The contradiction has been noted. Nobody is foolish enough to mention it.
Draco Malfoy: Was informed via Lorenzo's strategic disclosure during dinner that evening โ "What do you mean, assigned paternity" โ "I am not a father to a rodent" โโ Then, later that same evening and after dinner, watching the creature from across the common room for forty-five minutes (being absolutely spoiled rotten by Artemis) while pretending to read.
Then, the following morning, an unmarked package appeared outside Artemis's door containing: a volume on magical creature care with the relevant pages already bookmarked, a tin of imported brushbuddy treats from a specialist shop in Diagon Alley, and a small velvet pouch of grooming supplies that cost more than most students' entire term budget. No card. No explanation.
When Artemis thanked him, Draco looked at her like she'd lost her mind and said,ย "It's a living creature. It requires proper maintenance. This isn't complicated."ย He has since been observed refilling the treat tin when it runs low. He does this when he believes no one is watching. Someone is always watching.
Theodore Nott: Not assigned paternity (because he gave them both a look that stopped that instantly) but has been designated "uncle" by process of elimination. Accepted this with his characteristic stillness. Has not commented. Has, however, warded Artemis's door with layered protective enchantments to ensure the creature cannot wander into the corridors unsupervised and, more importantly, that nothing unwanted can wander in. The warding was unsolicited. Also unacknowledged.
disclaimer; something something all headcanons / writing / portrayals are written by me ?? this is an AU version of harry potter / Hogwarts where the characters enter Hogwarts at the minimum age of 21 years old; the tone tends to be darker and grittier than the canon material.
