we can and should criticise the psychiatric institutions & their treatments of mentally ill people
ALSO
/a/ system is needed. I can't go grab potentially dangerous meds off the corner shop store. I need a prescription and the idea of that is good imo. If it wasn't for my perspiration + psychiatrist I'd be dead.
I fucking hate the antipsych movement for scaring people into thinking that they're better off committing suicide than ever trying to contact professionals
Hi, Iâve been someone who had to deal with shit mental healthcare (that probably permanently damaged my brain) and am now with great mental healthcare (which helps me live with what I have).
Psych meds are powerful agents and using them without proper guidance or knowledge can seriously fuck you up (e.g. serotonin syndrome). No system also equals no consistency. Without a system, the pill that could help you today can fail to help or even harm you tomorrow. The ideal relationship however should be partnership and informed choice between you and the care team.
I am able to stay awake because the prescription got transferred to my psychiatrist.
I do think that if both you and your doctor have agreed that you need the meds with informed knowledge of the risks, it shouldnât be so hard to acquire them (controlled substances act, my be-loathed).
Similarly, therapy and lifestyle interventions also have risks and benefits. This is absolutely talked about less compared to the medications, but it can still have psychological effects. Notably, certain therapies are prescribed as cookie cutter approaches when it doesnât work for a lot of people even if it does help others. What we need is better classification on who these therapies will help vs who these therapies will not help (ie who need different approaches).
Currently intervention cannot help without its risks and side effects (even if theyâre mild), and anyone who says otherwise is lying.
There are good professionals out there just as there are bad professionals out there. But as someone mentioned before, saying all psych care is bad is throwing out babies with bath water. Truly good psych care comes from integration with an individual and their support networks (if included) through informed consent, not opposed.
My first experience going into a psych ward was intensely traumatic. The hospital treated me like a criminal. I couldnt go to the bathroom without being yelled at for closing the door and the ER made me sit for 8 hours in the hallway while they found a place over an hour away to send me strapped down via ambulance. It was awful.
And I've been in and out of mental health facilities since then. Once I had a therapist tell me I wasnt trying and sent me home fifteen minutes into the session. When I had to be partially hospitilized at the DBT institute, they failed to get me a therapist for the month I was there... and then that therapist wasted my time with two sessions of paperwork, demanded I bus multiple hours to see her in person just to forget I was coming, and ultimately bailed on me.
There are really shitty professionals in these spaces.
But there are also great ones. My cousin, for one, who I've seen go above and beyond for her clients, even when it means fighting parents to protect kids. I had a therapist bring me groceries when I was deeply agoraphobic and literally making kraft mac and cheese with water and mayonnaise (do not do this). I had another offer to pick me up when finding ways to therapy became impossible. I've met people I will never forget in psych wards and group sessions. Like genuinely, once in a lifetime people. I've come out bit by bit a little better each time for one reason or another.
When I suggest to someone that they seek help, I always tell them that it will likely be very scary and potentially traumatizing, but that it's a short bit of high anxiety for a trade off of years of wanting to die or thinking the world is going to end. It's worth trying to get better.
So yeah... I start my new job at a mental health hospital today. I'm really excited to try to give back and make someone's potential worst experience a bit more bearable.
/orders school transcripts since my old high school isnt answering my calls. I pay for the service that apparently my state uses.
/waits over a week with the status being that the school needs to process the request.
/finally get a call back at 6 am when I'm asleep, she asks for my info to send my transcripts... but again, I'm asleep
/the office lady leaves her name so I can find her email and email her instead. I let her know I've been waiting for the school to process my request
/the lady emails me back to say they arent using that service since people have to pay for it and just sends me my transcript
So... like... cool I got my transcript. Thats great... cause I can see why you dont want to have people pay for that... but... uh I ALREADY PAID. You're just going to refuse to answer and I've thrown my money into a void?? Then make it easier to request through the school. It should not have taken me a week and a half if all I had to do was give you guys my name, year, and birthdate. What if it was summer already?
I live with my friend and her boyfriend is genuinely going to make me hate men.
Like if I didnt have a bunch of awesome male friends and an awesome dad growing up, I would be fucking radicalized by this guy's entitlement and passive assholery. I grew up with a male abuser and that guy didnt do half as much a disservice to his sex that this guy is doing.
And he's "on his best behavior" around me.
Under the cut for some wild fucking examples. It's a lot, but not even half of what I've seen him do.
He mansplains so much that I once had to lie and tell him I did a college thesis paper on the Hunger Games to get him to stop explaining scenes INCORRECTLY to my friend and arguing with me about how "Well usually when this happens, it means that." Like no you dumb motherfucker, Plutarch didnt threaten to kill Effie. Shut up, you arent even watching!
He got so jealous that my friend gave me a hug and not him when she got back from a trip that he spent the rest of the day trying to brag about how he was better at shit than I was. My friend didnt give me a hug... I gave her a hug. He just stood there.
During this same day, he went up to my cat and whispered about how he was better to her than me. The her beinf referred to was my FUCKING CAT! Fucking unhinged behavior. He's lucky I didnt hear him directly because my cat is a trigger and I would have fought him.
His son had a VERY serious incident at school that could have gotten him expelled and should have been an immediate trip to psychiatric help. While my friend panicked and I went into problem solving mode, he sat at his computer desk and did nothing but refuse to help. I said we could uber and he made up a random sum to say it was too expensive. I looked up the cost... it was $35. He tried to say that wasnt true even though I was literally on the app. He then belittled my friend and said she would have to just get over her very real trauma around the bus to take him. Thank fucking christ for telehealth.
Speaking of his son, he thinks that punishments should be military exercises even if that would make things worse. What? Your kid isnt eating and it's almost bed time? Yeah doing planks and pushups until he cries is definitely going to make him eat and get to bed on time.
He does this because he thinks kids need to suffer to learn that life isnt easy. He also thinks bullying is something all kids need to experience.
When I first got here, meals revolved around him. Now that my friend makes meals for everyone, he suddenly cant eat her cooking. Furthermore, whether she packs his lunch or not, he blames her for his excessive fast food spending that then gets innthe way of paying bills. I point blank MADE him say what he wanted to have added to groceries (because he tried to fucking misdirect me like he does with her and I wouldnt let it go) and he still refuses to eat it what she makes for him. Including the two dozen breakfast burritos she prepped for him that he explicitly asked for but now wont eat because it doesnt have salsa in it. Apparently getting salsa to dip it in is a no-go for him. Nobody else wants his burritos.
He wont let my friend buy snacks and bitches whenever she buys unhealthy food. She started buying pop (initially for me) and he has this big high horse speech that he gives at any chance he can about how we shouldnt drink pop... but then proceeds to drink all the pop in days, leaving the bottles on the counter with a quarter of a cup left inside. He drank four 2 liters in two days after telling me how irresponsible my friend is for buying pop when he's diabetic. Like dude, you have autonomy. Literally just dont drink it.
He believes all sugar is the same and bad, so he wont eat fruit. Also he cant eat anything that someone on tiktok says is bad. Like Reeses cups? Not made with real peanut butter so now he cant eat it. Subway? Not real bread so now he cant eat it. But also raw milk is fine. He ignores me when I fact check him.
He is a manosphere guy who likes Trump. He told my friend he doesnt like how he cant be honest because I'll get mad and go to my room. Which has never happened. I have always engaged in (friendly) debate or ignored him. I go to my room when my friend and I fight so I can sort myself out and talk to her calmly later. The only other time is when they were yelling and I said I wasnt going to listen to them have the dumbest fight and went to my room.
Now as a little treat, I did turn on a show about drag queens and he did run off to his room upset. It was like instant pest control. When he put on some pseudo science bullshit about genetics and gender essentialism I just ignored it, but yeah, I'm the one who cant handle things I dont agree with.
Multiple times my friend has needed an urgent care visit. He gets upset at her for it because it means he cant play his games. He says it's because of gas issues but he does the same thing anytime he has to do things... even when he decided to do it. For example, today he said he wanted to take his kid to the park but then proceeded to get mad at my friend for telling the child, mad at the child for getting excited, and then huffy when he tried to blame my friend for something I actually said. They were gone for barely twenty minutes and he took the kid to the store, so who knows how long they were at the park... if they even went.
He offers me shit all the time. He tells me if I want something just ask. I am not a want and ask kind of person. I do not like asking people for anything. I start a new job soon and needed a physical. I asked if he could get me to the doctor, he said yes. He then changed his mind and sent my friend money for an uber that barely covers a third of the trip. My friend tried to explain that the money could be used for gas and it would be cheaper for him to drive anyway. He got upset. I told her to pocket the money and I'll figure it out. I then out loud tell her that my cousin loaned me the rest of the money and reserved the uber, but I'll need to spend my next two paychecks probably to pay her back. I made sure to go on about how expensive it was. He then tried to say he had said he would take me and gets mad that we didnt talk to him first. We ended up spending 6 hours taking buses there and back... twice.
During this bus fiasco, it was my friend's birthday. Now remember, my friend has trauma around buses, but she did super well all things considered. We had to wait an hour and a half for the bus back and we ended up getting some pizza at this awesome place as well as going to her favorite pet store to look at snakes. Multiple times he tried to call to figure out where she was, while he was at work. By the time we got home, he had gotten back and was being passive aggressive as fuck. We didnt take him with us and she didnt include him. Mind you, the trip was for my work physical, which we had asked him to take us to twice. We only did extra stuff because we were stranded. But now that we had fun, he was grumpy. It was like 2pm when we got back so it wasnt like we couldnt go out again, but he didnt even try. He later texted her from the bedroom complaining about feeling like a third wheel and how sad he was.
He wont even take her on a 1 on 1 date but then got mad that her and I hung out outside the house. I LIVE with them. We do shit together, just us every fucking day. God forbid though we leave the house and do it.
That same day he also didnt do anything for my friend's birthday that she wanted. She had three requests: cheesecake, a specific video game or plushie, and to watch Harry Potter with everyone. He had her pick out a cheesecake earlier that month from cheesecake factory... didnt actually get it. He had her look at her favorite plushies... didnt get her any. He offered to buy her a game... but not the one she had been talking about, and he actually refused to get her that one for no good reason when she asked. He didnt even watch the movie. He played his game and then left the room. My friend bought herself cheesecake and he got mad she shared it with us.
He repeatedly tells us he bought something that is coming later and then it never comes and he says nothing.
Example: I offered to buy one of the two $40 items we needed for the house with my tax money. A fan for the living room or glass tupperware. I said I'd buy the fan for everyone but that he needed to buy the tupoerware. Especially because my friend bought a ton of tupperware two months ago and he ruined it all by taking it to work and letting it get moldy in his truck. He begrudgingly agreed and has yet to hold up his end. I brought it up today and he instead tried saying how cool it was back in the day when his family used to save old containers instead... which we are already doing. I had us start doing that until we could get proper containers weeks ago. He knows this. I told him "Yeah, but that's not helpful, they get gross easily because the plastic is cheap." And he just said "I know." And went back to his game.
So my friend recently fucked up her feet. Likely because she did so much walking during our bus trip. She's already disabled af, but now she can barely walk or sit without pain. Her feet are swelling, she thinks she fractured a toe while trying to remove a toe ring, and she has a big lump forming on her ankle. I told her two days in, she needed urgent care but he throws such a fit about it that she didnt want to ask. This Tuesday will be a week and she finally asked him three different times today to take her. He ignored her each time. Finally I asked very loudly and directly. Literally went "Hey Nick" and waited for a reply before asking if he was taking her. He said he didnt know he had to because she didnt ask, as if I didnt watch him ignore her asking him three minutes prior.
He shouldnt even need to wait for her to ask. Watching her hobble around, crying out in pain should be an immediate, "Do you want me to take you." Instead he blamed her for not asking WHEN SHE ASKED MULTIPLE TIMES. She even offered to wait till Tuesday since he has a short day at work. He acted like it was no imposition and of course he would. We'll see if it actually happens without a fuss on the actual day, cause what's likely going to happen is that he's going to "forget" and then complain about gas money and make her feel bad for needing to go. Again.
We had an ant infestation in one of the recently vacated reptile enclosures. (Oh yeah he used to buy her pets when he fucked up bad enough) My friend woke me up in a panic because the ants were all over her chair. Like hundreds of ants. I got up, calmed her down, cleaned up the area, vaccuumed the ants, and said we needed to empty the enclosure. She texted her boyfriend about finding the shop vac and handling the ants. He said sure. I went back to bed. He gets home and gets on the comouter. She waits a few hours before asking about the shop vac. He gets upset and then proceeds to complain and make it out like a huge problem every step of getting this shop vac out. He breaks something and says its full of sand. She says nevermind. He ignores her because now he has to be a victim and drags it in anyway. He says he cant empty it without help. I get up and say I'll help, but why is it inside if we have to dump dirt out? I'm not emptying his shop vac just to have to drag the dirt out again. He argues, my friend again says nevermind. I sit back down and he proceeds to loudly mutter complaints. My friend tells him to stop, he then says she's being passive aggressive. Like no, dude she's being directly aggressive because you arent listening and are now being passive aggressive to her. He then dumps the dirt in a trash bin, leaves the shop vac in the middle of the walkway, and goes back to his game, not even dealing with the ants infesting HIS house. No, that's for women to do. The next day he tried to be all sweet about it like he had been such a good partner doing what she had asked.
He has said multiple times that women only handle things by being passive aggressive and men are direct communicators. He has never been direct or honestly communicative.
He did, in fact, leave the dirt for me to take care of. Ever since I arrived, he refuses to touch a trash bag or any kind of chore. He will throw shit in an empty trash bin than take care of a full trash bag. When asked to take the dumpsters to the curb and back, he said no because he wont remember to do that.
Oh yeah, look at this cute chore chart I made. Look how even the list of work is.
He added the crying magnets btw. With his impressionable 8 year old son who we've been trying to teach respect. This man is 40 years old. You would think the name with four weekly chores and one monthly chore is the child, but no... it's the man who said he wasnt going to do two of them and complains about grocery shopping like it's a brand new concept every week.
HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO FILL THE DUMPSTER. I DO THAT. HE JUST HAS TO MOVE THE BINS!
Full on threw a pity party and refused to eat because my friend didnt make his tacos and deliver them to him at the computer.
Got upset that he spent money on a server for a game I had been playing with another friend of mine, only to move on the next day and tell my friend that I didnt want to play anymore. The only reason he bought the server is because it was the only way he could play too and I was only playing because my friend had been wanting to. He didnt ask me if he should, he just did it. Didnt even ask me later if I wanted to play, which I would have because he spent money but I wasnt going to play it on my own accord. He acted like he did me a huge favor and that I was the reason he wasted money.
He gets jealous when I do things for my friend. Half the reason I'm here is to help her, but now he feels left out. Doesnt stop him from doing minimum effort at max. I was playing a game on the xbox and she wanted to try it. I said she was welcome to play the xbox any time, so he rushes to buy her the game for the steam deck in order to try to like... idk swipe brownie points from me? He didnt even check to see if it was playable, which it wasnt. If she were to ask him for the game directly, he'd just huff and puff over it. Same thing with how he ignored her need for cold meds until I loudly declared I would walk to the store and buy her some cheap cold medication. Then he was all over going to get the name brand two pack. Thankfully that was the goal because I had like $7 and she needed most of that 2 pack.
The fact that I even have to do shit like that to manipulate him into doing the bare minimum as a partner, because he'll throw a fit if you ask him directly is bonkers.
I parent his child more than he does at this point, and not because I'm trying to. His son comes out and asks him to check that his room is clean enough and he tries to quietly say that's not his job, to ask me and his mom. Bitch, you dont know what a clean room looks like? Possibly not because the kid wasnt cleaning his room at all before I got here. His mom was doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE. She was so overwhelmed that it was all a huuuuuge mess. I got it organized, cleaned, established rules and schedule with the kid, and helped encourage her to put a foot down. The only reason the room is clean is me. The only reason he's learning life skills like cleaning up after himself and taking care of his pet is me. Not to say my friend isnt being a parent, but I'm the one who backs her up when she wants to cave and do it herself because her kid starts muttering under his breath, ignoring her, and being disrespectful. I dont even like kids! But no, this guy is going to go on and on about how kids need a dad to learn discipline. Dumbfuck cant even stop himself from drinking pop ten minutes after getting mad it was bought. Contributing to the birth of a child doesnt magically make you disciplined and full of fatherly wisdom. If you were stupid before, you're still fucking stupid.
I hate this man. Like genuinely. I hate him. I felt bad once upon a time for talking my friend into planning to leave him, but now I don't. Now it cant come soon enough. Even when he fucks up and tries to be on his best behavior and act like he's doing better, it's laughably so little effort. The last two months my friend has only gotten more tired of his bullshit now that she's not able to be isolated and gaslit about his behavior. Even she's saying she's tired of men and I fully empathize.
not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as âmy liegeâ would come strangely naturally
onedrive downloaded my entire years of cloud storage onto my roommates computer and when I tried to get rid of it... it deleted everything in the cloud... a literal decade of stuff gone because it decided that because I logged into microsoft that I wanted all that shit downloaded.
So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.
literally that is what the post is about, I am saying people should be less eager to jump on any chance to be snarky and rude to total strangers on the internet
you said it yourself: you're looking to vent it LITERALLY ANYWHERE
so vent it somewhere private. or at least not literally aimed AT another person, a total stranger at that
Like, this reblogger sounds so insanely self centered in their reblog. notice how both options focus on how being rude would affect THEM. "B has no consequences for me so it's perfectly fine to do"
(the only reason I didn't show their username in the screenshot is because, given how self victimizing they sound in their reblog, I believe that, if I did show their username, suddenly online stuff wouldn't seem so inconsequential to them and they'd accuse me of sending harrassment their way and putting them in danger)
You said it better than I could. Of all the inane and ridiculous things I've seen in my notes because of this post, "I NEED to say fuck you to strangers or I will literally die" is certainly one of them
this reminds me of that time my boss told me after a meeting with the supervisor and management team that we had to let customers yell at us and do what we can to be nice, because what if they go home and beat their spouse instead?
she was literally told that by the supervisor. Our entire management was told to push that narrative.
Being abused wasnt in my job description then, and I sure aint getting paid for it now.
Someone not seeing the consequence of their actions is not the same as there being none at all. It just says how self centered someone is to think that.
I was finally able to get Monster Hunter Wilds. Was super excited for raptor birb mounts. The character creation was almost entirely perfect (besides the weird blending where you cant even see the options well) and I will be playing with it just for fun. The voice acting and graphics are lovely.
But uh... wow... I'm getting to the point of frustration with the gameplay that I'm getting mad playing.
I can't tell why the controls are so fucking off, but I feel like I've never played a game in my life while trying to control this character. Had to learn how to stop my mount from just running where it wants and being impossible to control. Weirdly the fucking prompt that says it'll turn that shit off doesnt do jack shit. I had to go into the settings and adjust several options. It wants me to aim with the right toggle in focus mode... but my right thumb is already up on the buttons so I'm just flailing around with my insect glaive, unable to move the stick fast enough to target the damaged areas and actually attack before the monster moves. The dual blades were a fucking nightmare for what was previousky the easiest weapon set to learn.
And the biggest issue? It's so god damn on rails that I'm actually getting mad at the story. I swear to god I left camp on one quest and got dragged through three more without break. I thought after the second quest I could stop and grab some food and a drink... but no. Actually the cut scene had more monsters coming in, causing me to run back to the controller and then watch ten minutes of a cut scene doing cool shit with my hunter with an occassional break for me to not need to control my mount as it chased.
At one point I said to my roommate "I'm actually so angry about watching this cut scene play the game that I want to stop playing for a bit and cool down... but I cant because the cut scene is still going."
One of my biggest issues with Monster Hunter as a whole is how much it pushes multiplayer. I know that's a huge part of the game, but I literally just want to play poorly all by myself and not dreal with feeling like I'm not pulling my weight. In the past few games it hasnt been so bad, this one feels especially pushy. If I'm playing single-player or offline mode please just let me pause the game somehow so I can stop and go to the bathroom while the game drags me through multiple big hunts because I dared progress the story. And absolutely do not make it unclear that by not intentionally switching into single player, people can just randomly join my hunt.
I want to keep playing but if something doesnt shift then I'm probably going to go back to Hades or Windrose. I just feel shitty because the game was a gift and it was expensive TT_TT
Why cant it be like Rise but on the World scale? Riding Palamutes felt fucking awesome and the controls were intuitive.
I swear to god if we go through another election where people attack democrats because they did or didnt do specific things when they're the only or best choice we have to end this god damn madness I'm going to scream.
Yes, I agree, these people may not care about -insert specific issues- and that issue may be extremely important, not just to the people experiencing it but to society. I would never invalidate that... but the OTHER SIDE CARES LESS, and when people post about those guys, we all just nod and go "Yeah that makes sense. Water is wet." So there ends up being so much apathy on this idea that both people suck, and none of the nuance that one would see you shot in the street and call you a terrorist.
And for some issues, you're actively burying them by choosing to allow a side who hates everyone but the 1% to do whatever they want. People wont care about issues overseas like Ukraine when they cant afford groceries, they wont care about antisemitism if they're being tear gassed because they took the wrong left turn, they wont care about the rights of marginalized people being stripped away when they're losing their jobs because they posted a lukewarm take online about a right wing figure. And that's hyperbole, they will care, but the people who try to do something will burn themselves out doing it. If I've learned anything from being homeless and in shit situations, it's that people can only help so much when their own situation is also bad. Yes, even if it is still better than yours. So many people are just trying to protect their own or their neighbors right now that they cant juggle the larger issues. We need to restore the playing field so that's a possibility instead of letting political pedophiles add on more problems.
Everyone deserves criticism, but please can we just remember that refusing to acknowledge that one side is vastly less dangerous is what got us 8 years of this bullshit? Because I dont trust people to do that after last election. Bitches, this is tug of war and every step back over the line is progress even if it isnt the win we want.
Last year, a small portion of the legacy Verpets community came together and began rebuilding the site from scratch!
Over that time, we have developed many of the game's core features and are inviting over 80 members to join in, test what we have so far, and share valuable feedback that will help shape our next steps.
You can follow our progress more closely on our Discord (https://discord.gg/3GzKwMVmth), as well as periodic updates here as we continue to move forward.
For now, here are a few of my favorite pet designs so far, with more to come!
If you have ever known anyone with a kink for being hit, or beat up, or raped and you're okay with them, you also gotta be okay with the people who's kink it is to do the hitting, the beating, or the raping. At the end of the day, we're adults playing pretend, and that's it.
With every single sub i have the first thing we ever do is establish the safe word (stoplight system), and the non-verbal safe word in case they can't talk for any reason. If I can't tell where the sub is at, I will ask them point blank what is their color, and if they can't give a response, we stop. The goal is to make the other person feel good, including pain, and the most important part us knowing your subs limits and LISTENING to them. I will *never* hurt a sub in a way that they have not explicitly expresssed interest in.
Optimus Prime and Megatron was about narrative. Everyone honors Optimus Prime because heâs the hero but his whole thing doesnât work without a bad guy. Megatron is his bad guy. Hating the scene for including Megatron is incoherent. You canât have a functional Optimus Prime without a bad guy to oppose him. It just doesnât function.
Similarly, in a sex scene, you need someone with a âhitâ kink and someone with a âhittingâ kink. The scene doesnât function optimally without the âhitterâ. As the comments suggest, willingness to hit isnât necessarily enough for the âhitâ person to get off. The âhitâ person needs the âhitterâ to enjoy themselves too. So for this reason, demonizing the âhitterâ is contrary to the well-meaning sentiment. If the goal is to protect the âhitâ person and help them achieve self-actualization then the environment needs to be supportive of the other half of the scene, the âhitterâ.
after eight years, I finally updated my huge Historical Fashion Reference & Resources Doc! Now in the form of a MUCH more easily updated Google Doc with better organization, refreshed links, and five more pages of books and online resources.
I know tumblr hates links, but itâs worth it for a doc that I can now update with far more regularity going forward! RIP to the original, you did your duty for far longer than you should have. đđđź
