Innerstar Actualization: Sera.Siren

This blog is a collection of my thoughts in regards to my experience in reality. Thankful to be here 💚 🖤 🜂 🜄 🜁 🜃 🜍 ☿ 🜔 ☾ ☉ 🜚 🤍

[innerstarserasiren]

Went on a really beautiful hike with my son today. Thankful for his resilience, curiosity, appreciation for nature, and especially his sense of direction. He knew we were going the wrong way back before I did 😅

[innerstarserasiren]

A beautiful day ✨

[innerstarserasiren]

Currently reading Paths to God | Living The Bhagavad Gita by Ram Dass

I am only three chapters in but it is already an impactful read following the Gita itself. Oddly enough it seems to provide just what I need to hear when I need a shift in perspective. For example it is currently explaining Karma Yoga and how living ones dharma without attachment to results is key.

At work I am a machinist running a 5 axis mill. It's a machine I am new to with its own issues due to age, transport, and other variables. Long story short a mistake I made went on to scrap an entire job at least of parts. A dumb mistake. A really small but impactful mistake resulting in money, time, and effort lost. And I made it. I take a lot of pride in my work and people depend on me to get this right and I don't want to let them down.

So at lunch I packed my book open and started reading about karma yoga and what it is and what it means. As much as I apply, the things that I have learned into my personal life, those things have not fully translated into my professional life. Although I am a machinist and I need to make good parts, I have naturally become attached to the results of my work. Being a new machinist for this company specifically and the project that I'm working on is all about getting out the kinks which involves failures and mistakes. Although yes, I made the mistake. Ultimately the problem is in the process as I should not have been allowed to make a mistake. As odd and rare as a mistake that it is, it was one that also needed to be made so we can ensure that at camp happening again. My Dharma as a machinist with my engineers is to not only succeed but to fail as well because my failures ultimately help them do their job also.

Ugh. Fine.

[innerstarserasiren]

I finished the Eknath Easwaran translation of The Bhagavad Gita today at lunch with this view 🙌🏻

I won't lie, I had a lot of questions at the end: did Arjuna continue the battle? Is that ultimately the choice Krishna was backing up? If so, is that because Arjuna technically is on the right side of things to be defending his rightful land/family against his uncle/cousins? If Krishna had been on the other side of the battle, how would his advice differ, if at all?

I did some more research on some online forums to get some answers.

What are your thoughts?

[innerstarserasiren]

Today was a good day. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of my partner. I'm thankful for the answers and solace that grows inside me as I continue reading The Bhagavad Gita. Introspection, metacognition, understanding, and accountability are very important things to me and those I wish to keep in my life.

Last week I finally put together a piece I've been meaning to for a while now, for Lord Krishna and Radha. I do not personally identify as a follower of any particular faith but I have a great interest in theology, the history of, it's role in society and humankind, etc.

Also brought home a Neon Pink Syngonium because she is beautiful 🩷

[1995-9]

[innerstarserasiren]

A day with healing. I had a few hours to myself today. There is a new B&N in my area so I stopped in. This magazine was a must buy for a couple of reasons: I've never seen a "spiritual" magazine and also because I wanted to read the article about the monks that walked for peace. I was also curious as to what would be in a magazine like this: advertisements and if so what kind, who are the authors and what are they sharing, etc.

The religion section, although large and well stocked, was a solid 90% Christian and Catholic. There were small sections on Judaism and Muslim faiths, and the smallest was Hinduism. There was an Atheist section at the end but that was it. Although there were countless bibles for kids, there was not a single religious text for kids of any other religion. I had been looking for a series covering the Hindu deities for children, as well as some ones introducing meditation, yoga and Indian stories. There were even comic books of the Bible? That just seemed weird in and of itself.

After book shopping I stopped at a kava joint I enjoy. I spent an hour there catching up with a friend, which was very nice. We talked about some things in my life that were nice to get off of my chest, and I am thankful he was considerate enough to offer an ear.

[innerstarserasiren]

Currently reading this translation of The Bhagavad Gita. The introduction was an inspiring read in itself. I'm going to begin Chapter Four next read. It's easy to tell why this is such a historical, influential text. Arjuna is truly relatable, which is the point. As someone who has not read it before, it is easy for me to also feel at times that the advice is to head forward with battle regardless of his worries. I understand this is a debatable point of view when comprehending the Gita, and find it most interesting to read open to both possibilities (although that seems to be a surface understanding at this point in the story so far).

[innerstarserasiren]

My son and I went to the park yesterday. He is about to be four. Rather quickly he made friends with two girls, one his age and the sister a little older. I brought a brain teaser puzzle to play with while I laid in the grass and kept an eye on him.

During our stay, a mother came with her daughter. She was on the phone discussing plans with someone. On this call, while she walked along a ladder structure her daughter played on, she said, "I don't like people. I try to avoid them as much as I can when possible."

At first it seems like an innocent enough thing to say as it is a common feeling in society now, right?

But that's the problem.

If our kids are raised believing that mentality is normal, humankind will never join together as one again. It starts with us, as parents. If we want humankind to ever get better, unite, thrive, we have to stop rejecting it.

[jareckiworld]

Walter Valentini (1928-2022) — Stellar Occurrence [mixed media, wood panel, 1994]

[innerstarserasiren]

My partner surprised me by stopping at the Buddhist temple that is by his new home. I had no idea it was here nor have I ever seen a Guanyin statue of this scale; seeing it from the road as we pulled up immediately stole any thoughts from my being. He walked with me son and allowed me to take some time, which I am so thankful for. I'm unsure of why but I have always had a pull towards the Bodhisattva of compassion. Sitting below her gaze, blanketed in the rays of the sun, I closed my eyes and was able to feel both unity and peace. There are many obstacles lately in my life that years ago would have taken me down. Over the years I have grown strong and know I am capable of overcoming them.

One word that does describe something my partner and what they have brought into my life is just that: compassion. It is one of my favorite traits he possesses and maybe that's what I've always been missing in my life is my own source of it outside of myself.

It was a truly healing morning. I'm also thankful my son was able to be there to recognize the impact of spiritual experiences, emotional connection and expression, as well as practice respect in such a sacred space.

"I am everything and everything is me. From the gentleness of the breeze to the strength of the trees. As it is above so it is below. As is within so is without. As is the universe so is the soul. I am everything and everything is me." I wrote this poem to say before my son and I sleep at night to provide the comfort Christian prayer offered me as a child without the trauma of feeling in danger if I forgot to say it.

[innerstarserasiren]

The Cosmic Dance by Stephen Ellcock.

I found this book at the Tattered Cover in Littleton a week ago and have read it since then. It is a quick read but with great information. There were a lot of illustrations/works included from throughout various centuries, most of which I've never seen. Definitely a great read of the micro/macrocosm relations and I recommend it.

[funeral]

Edward F. Edinger, Science of the Soul: A Jungian Perspective

[radical-revolution]

[kandaeila]

As above, so below.

[romancefairy]

no YOU live in a society i live in this frame of pride and prejudice

[cheruib]

gentle reminder: you are loved and appreciated by so many people

[innerstarserasiren]

My son and I saw a worm struggling to crawl along some pavement at the park under the hot sun. To show him how to help smaller creatures that sometimes are unable to help themselves, I showed him how to move the worm. I've never been a fan of touching worms so I used a couple of sticks to support his weight. After the worm was on our sticks, we carried him to the ground under this tree. I poured some water on the soil as it was very dry and hard, in hopes it would soften the soil for the worm and also give the little guy some moisture. We said goodbye and my son went back to playing.

He ended up meeting three other young boys there (all brothers). They found lots of dry, dead worms in the sand. It's been raining pretty hard a lot this week but with it being CO, it doesn't take long to dry out again. My son brought his new friends to show where we brought the live worm. They seemed to think it was pretty neat.

I could have left the worm there, claiming I shouldn't interfere with the course of nature and should have allowed the worm to either crisp and die, caught by a bird and die, or trampled on a die. Consider a different perspective: we are nature, not apart from it. Giving that little guy some help is giving him another chance to do his job and live his life. The hungry bird? It will find another worm. I'm not starting a worm relocation company. While exploring our relationship with nature, with ourselves, I was hopefully able to provide a powerful lesson in empathy for other creatures, especially those smaller than us.