And can I just say that it’s been a strange year, a good one in many regards, but still strange in the sense that I merged with one human entirely and just now reconnected with two of my best friends ever since high school. And am thoroughly glad for that. I really want things to be the way they were, but am I trying to prove that I haven’t changed? Maybe because I feel like I haven’t, but then again if they really knew me what would surprise them?
So I just want to know it’ll be alright, because as much as I love this person I have merged with, I really do miss my soulmate and am so glad that I have another chance =]
I think one reason I gave up on friends was because one I trusted turned around and thought it was cool to ignore me-- friends for over a decade, and yet I didn’t deserve even a conversation? Even a goodbye? Yeah, well I had known she was a piece of shit for a long time before that, but Jesus, I didn’t realize how bad it was. How much I sacrificed, for nothing. Not even a good memory. Well, it’s a life lesson learned. I know the three most important people to me now would never do such a thing, and that’s all that matters. Cause I don’t miss her, I realized...I never even think about it except the respect. It’s the respect I miss. And have missed. Always missed. Cause when I’m out doing my own thing, she never crosses my mind. And you know you truly miss someone when you miss them even when life is good. I just had to get over my pride and being scorned.
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