Goodbye forever, Inquiries of a Twenty-Something.
Two weeks ago something terrible happened: the email address that I created, "the inquires of a twenty-something..." tumblr account with seven years ago was no more. The Comcast gods finally cut the cord on my beloved email address, which I had still been actively using up to this point. The actually Comcast account had been discontinued in August of 2014, when my ex of nine years moved out of the apartment we shared for seven of those years. Needless to say, I was completely overcome with emotion. I tearfully (I have zero problems admitting this) and frantically began emailing tumblr support, pleading my case - sharing far more personal information than I'm sure any technical support person ever wanted. Alas, due to strongly held privacy policies by tumblr, my email address could not be changed since I was not requesting to change it from the email address that I created the account with. I quickly, and miraculously, found the only way I could still access my beloved account was through the tumblr app on my iPhone.... "OK I thought, OK! My phone is functioning beautifully, at least I still have the app!" No. Go. My 18 month old iPhone 6 started failing fast after the last iOS update (of course). Today, I upgraded my phone. I still have my 6, but soon my trusty friend will have to be sent back to AT&T, cleaned of all personal information, and a long with it the account - that for a time - felt like my only life line. My only outlet. My only friend. The Inquires of a Twenty-Something evolved with me; in so many ways this account was the outlet that allowed me to hone in on finding myself, on expressing my sadness, and heartbreak, and happiness in a beautiful collection of photos, quotes, and gifs. In many ways, I have experienced the 5 stages of grief over the end of access to my account. I was in denial that Tumblr was just not believing me, as I sent screen shots from my phone, provided multiple means of verifying my identity, all to no avail. This is not the world I live in - I mean really - it's not. I get things done for a living; I move mountains, and this small thing that means so much to me was just slipping away because of broad sweeping polices. I was angry. Angry at and with tumblr, angry with Comcast, and finally, angry with myself for just not changing the damn email address to my gmail sooner. So the last feeling of anger with myself, was definitely closer to bargaining... and let's be real, I thought about flying to tumblr headquarters and pleading with them in person. Depression. Admittedly is extreme, but the sadness I immediately felt was so sudden and strong. This blog had taken a life of it's own over the years. It was truly an escape for me. Through the prolonged and purposefully hurtful end of a 9 year relationship with my best friend. An ear for the hurt I had felt due to rejection by my first lustful interaction in years. The outlet I needed to talk about my love for, and eventual loss of, my very own Mr. Big. Acceptance. In the midst of reflecting upon all of the ways "The inquires of a twenty-something..." had become so integral to expressing feelings I didn't believe I could share with anyone, I realized that in many ways this could not have happened at a better time. I am actually the happiest and the healthiest I've been in 4 years. I'm not drinking myself to bed and then sobbing myself to sleep every night. I am happy and comfortable and confident with myself in a way that I've never felt. I am 11 months away from being 30. In ways unknown to me until I had to face them, I was stewing in the beautiful sadness I had created on here. That isn't to say that my new creation will be devoid of any sort of melancholy, I'm sure there will be days where it certainly will, but it won't be overwrought with it like I was for so long. With all of that.. farewell my friend, you know my darkest secrets and saddest musings, all of the things I was too scared to speak. I hope you all will join me as I move forward from inquiring, to redefining... frominquiringtoredefining.tumblr.com
