"I think I can kill it." - Level 3 Halfling on the topic of a Kraken
So, for some opening context my friend has just started GMing and in an effort to teach them that not everything can go to plan I tried to kill a Kraken with a level 3 halfling wizard, a bag of holding, a cape of Mountebank and a pirate ship laden with banks of cannons.. The conversation went something like this, and Iāll be skipping the middle boring bits.
GM: 3 fish people have just boarded your ship, and a sudden storm is appearing around you as you sail to the new land. You see 2 large tentacles rise out of the ocean, and a moment later, many more and a body with hideous teeth, you are fighting Kraken.
Gunslinger(OOC): Wait a second, this doesnāt seem fair, isnāt that like a CR 25 or something?
GM: Yes it is, and Iāll give you a few turns to try to escape.
Wizard(Me): I think I can kill it.
GM: Heh heh, okay well this is a good stopping point for tonight, weāll meet again later and conclude this.
A few days later and a few secret conversation to iron out a plan with my gunslinger friend
Wizard(OOC): Ready for me to kill a Kraken guys? SINGLE HANDEDLY
The table breaks out laughing, offering to help me make my next character.
GM: Okay, you all ready? Good. You see on the starboard side of the ship a few lifeboats and a fairly clear exit, on the port side the Sahuaquin Baron and 2 Priestesses point at the shore line and tell you guys specifically to go.
Ranger: Okay, we gotta go guys we canāt do this.
Wizard: I run downstairs.
Other players, frozen with hesitation all take a bit too long, in a good effort (failed sadly) the GM attempts to egg them onto the boats with an attack from the baron on our fighter (Our least talkative and most hesitant player)
GM: The Baron attacks, dealing 15 damage, you are unconscious.Ā GM Evil Laughter
Gunslinger: OH dang it, we donāt got an option we have to fight.
Wizard: I inverse by bag of holding dumping out everything, grabbing the alchemist fire I have saved and put it back in the bag. Iād also like to cast locate object in search of full gunpowder.
GM: With that weāll start initiative.
Iāll skip ahead here, the fight was interesting to say the least and near the end the ship was nearly a pile of boards, all the PCs except myself boarded life boats and we making a valiantĀ escapeĀ effort; a majority of the crew was dead. As some of you may have guessed during this time I have loaded about 500 pounds of gunpowder barrels in my bag with what can be best called a Macgyver detonator, the GM still thinks I will fail and hasnāt focused on me yet.
GM: The ship is collapsing you have about 1 round leftĀ WIZARD, what do you do?Ā
Wizard: I teleport into its mouth!
Gunslinger: Doesnāt matter, he can teleport through.
Quick look at the rules later
GM: Okay, fine youāre in his mouth now, what do you do.
Wizard: I flip my bag inside out dumping these barrels down the Krakenās throat and with its mouth forced open I dive out into the water below.
A heated debate about how wet gunpowder wonāt go off and anything the GM can do to keep the Kraken from dying comes into play, sadly though he was debating against two Engineering students when he is businessĀ Student. We eventually come to a concensous if I kill it I wonāt keep all the xp and become a level 9 suddenly.
GM: Fine, you dive out and the gunpowder will go off next round.(Likely having a secret plant to save the Kraken.)
Gunslinger: I shoot the barrels
We asked him earlier if we could use Hollywood physics, he said yes.
Wizard: I WAS RIGHT! AHAHAHAHAH, VICTORY.
Wizard (OOC): I hope youāre not mad man, I just had to. It was there.
GM: Itās fine, donāt worry. Iām not mad. Okay you all get to shore,Ā WIZARD washes up a little later and infront of you is a large group of women in plate armor on horses. Weāll end it here for the night.
We later found out we landed in a nation that hates men, wizards and halflings apparently. Iām sure he isnāt mad, right?
gummygunk
andulkaphoto
titsay
blakekathryn
prguitarman
annaxmalina
turnnoffyourmind
origamiaround
