Resident Fem Skk Lover ♡

Sierra | 22 | she/her bsd side blog :] main - @lovingiseasy-434

[insoukokuhell-434]

Soukoku Fic Rec Masterlist <3

Literal Sleeping Together/ Cuddling & Snuggling

Care-taking & hurt/comfort

Dazai takes care of Chuuya

Chuuya takes care of Dazai

Fluff

First Kiss

Getting Together/Love Confessions

Angst & Fluff

Angst with a Happy Ending

You can check my ‘skk fic rec’ tag for fics I’ve reblogged if u want more :]

And ‘skk writing’ for some fantastic short form writing!

Happy Reading! ❤️

[esmiara]

[joelywoely]

go my scarab into the world (happy pride month every1 lol)

[dogsdreamm]

[hypotheticallya1e]

little soukoku comic i drew this morning

[wandering-tides]

Same expression btw <3

[wishing-on-stardust]

It is common knowledge to most who know me that I rewatch episode 21 of the anime frequently. For a while my attention has been snagging on one particular line of dialogue. When Dazai suggests they use corruption he says that it's Chuuya's choice and Chuuya replies with;

"I hate it when you say stuff like that, it always means that I actually don't have a choice."

It has always felt antithetical to their dynamic, choice has always been a big thing for them, there's never any orders, it's always a question. From their first fight together in Fifteen, Dazai asks Chuuya "Do you trust me?" Chuuya has to choose to trust Dazai. In Stormbringer Dazai gives Chuuya all of the time that he can to decide whether or not to activate corruption and let the answer to his humanity be lost (Before I started drafting this post I actually hadn't realised that Dazai actually tried to give Chuuya as much time as possible - "Two more minutes. Nowhere near enough time to decide how to live the rest of one's life, but it was all the time they could spare" - that was very obviously caring of him. How did I not notice that sooner?) and in the meantime, he puts his mind to work creating backup plans, should Chuuya choose not to go through with it. Choice is so important to how they work, it's always trying to allow the option for a choice, even in a situation where it feels like there is no other choice.

That's when it hit me. In the manga Chuuya says;

"Whenever you say that you really mean there's no choice at all!"

Chuuya feels like there's no choice, what he doesn't realise is that Dazai is doing mental gymnastics to ensure that he can have one. If Dazai can even attempt to come up with backup plans when Guivre, he surely could have attepted to come up with one for Lovecraft.

All of this really fascinated me because it's heartbreakingly reflective of them as individuals as well as what they are together. Chuuya can't entertain another choice when the downside of their best plan is risking his life, he will risk his life over and over to protect the city that he loves and the people that he loves. Dazai on the other hand is showing his care in one of his strange little ways, he knows Chuuya, he knows what corruption means to Chuuya and his humanity, so he always gives Chuuya an out, even though he will never take it. When you put them together you get the devastating picture of Chuuya, who is always willing to take the fall, and Dazai who is willing to contort his mind unnecessarily just so Chuuya has the option to stay on solid ground, but the other road is never travelled, Dazai must instead be poised to catch him every time.

[originalartblog]

[Storm Bringer]

I found some of the thumbnails/storyboards I made way back when I first read SB and decided to clean them, enjoy :)

[incaseofcuriosity]

SOUKOKU STAYS WINNING

[notherpuppet]

Zoot Suit Riot

[notherpuppet]

Secret Santa

[notherpuppet]

[kaletalecowboy]

Anything to feel alive i guess

[iero3ulo]

where are they going? wrong answers only.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

some of you are saying enemies to lovers when you mean rivals to lovers and some of you are saying enemies to lovers when you mean enemies with benefits. but these are all distinct categories

[xekacore]

This is very BSD coded.

[grimbeak]

bungo stray dogs is like. okay here are these silly characters based loosely off of authors aren't they silly? okay here's how a cycle of horrific abuse affects most of them and btw some of them will never be able to heal from this in any meaningful way. ok now there's vampires because we realized bram stoker existed and we just couldn't resist.

[a258singularity]

There is a very brief moment at the beginning of the Fifteen light novel that gets completely overlooked but I think ultimately encapsulates the entirety of Chuuya and Dazai's relationship dynamic.

“I’m gonna give ya a choice, kid,” the boy told him, hands still in his pockets. “Die now or die after givin’ me the information I want. What’s it gonna be?” “I like those two choices. Both very tempting offers,” Dazai replied unflinchingly, despite having been hit in the torso and knocked through several buildings. “Okay. Kill me now.” The boy in the biker jacket fell silent for a brief moment, then looked down at Dazai as if realizing he’d finally met a person of character.

That last line truly is the crux of the Soukoku partnership. They have such a pull towards one another because, prior to this, they had never truly interacted with someone that could be considered their equal. Dazai is bored. Everyone knows this. He whines about it to anyone that will listen.

“Give that back! I wanna die!” Dazai flailed his arms. “Life is so boring; I’d rather just die! But I want it to be quick and painless! Help me out, Mori!”

But something that gets overlooked is the fact that Chuuya is bored too.

Perhaps it's harder to notice because of how reactionary Chuuya normally is but his baseline emotional state tends to be rather dull. Especially throughout Fifteen and Stormbringer. Like Dazai, Chuuya is struggling deeply with a detachment to the world around him. Dazai has no reason to live and Chuuya has no clue what or who he is. It causes almost this haze around his mind that leaves him untethered from everyone else.

And yet Chuuya had no interest in money or power. They brought him no happiness because he was missing something far more important: a past.

Chuuya gains nothing from his power as he finds it isolating. Nobody is ever on his level which just adds to his level of detachment.

“Hey. You wanna know why I always fight without using my hands?” Chuuya asked as he approached Randou. Numerous pebbles vibrated by his feet and floated with each step. “I’ve never lost a fight in my life. I’ve never even been in real danger… But that’s no surprise. After all, I’m not even human. My identity is a safeguard, like you said. Nothing more than a little pattern etched on a colossal furnace of power. Hey… Do you know how that feels?” Chuuya stepped onto empty space, using the floating debris to walk in midair. He took another step forward with his other leg. And just like that, Chuuya slowly approached Randou as if he were ascending a staircase. “That’s why I kept my hands in my pockets. I figured I’d one day feel like I was about to lose, no longer enjoying the fight but just doing everything I could to protect myself… I thought maybe that way I’d start to like myself as a person—me, a little pattern without a body of my own.”

Like Dazai, this same detachment leads to Chuuya considering suicide. It's also why when Chuuya is at his mental worst and these suicidal thoughts start to emerge, they do so by stealing Dazai's voice and image.

Obviously, I’m gonna never gonna give in. I can keep this up forever. But for what purpose? “I told you, Chuuya.” He looked up in the direction of the sudden voice. It was a familiar voice, one that belonged to the person he hated most in this world. “Your birth itself was a mistake. We’re the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn’t even real?” The voice was taunting him. “Shut up,” Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. He was most likely hearing things due to the drugs he was given. There was nobody there, but his mind was scattered, and the voice wouldn’t stop. “Screw you, Dazai.” “That’s the best comeback you could come up with?” Chuuya wanted nothing more than to slice off the ear the voice was whispering into. He could see Dazai’s wavering shadow by his side, and he wanted to gouge out his eyes. “That’s just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I’m saying. Because deep down inside, you’re the same as me.” “Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m me! I’m not some piece of shit like you!”

Chuuya hates the fact he can understand Dazai. He views it as a reflection of his worst parts. His worst fear is becoming so detached that he ends up on the level of Dazai, someone who is apathetic towards almost everything. Dazai, on the other hand, views Chuuya as human BECAUSE of this.

“You sound like you’re certain he’s human.” “I am.” Dazai sighed, smiling. “There’s no way I could hate a man-made character string this much.”

Dazai gets enjoyment out of his dislike towards Chuuya as Dazai tends not to feel much intense emotion about ANYTHING. Even in the earlier chapters of Fifteen, it's shown that Dazai is bored and exasperated by Mori. Chuuya is the first truly interesting "thing" he'd been exposed to in who-knows-how-long. At the end of Fifteen, there is a conversation where Dazai explains he wants to live. I know that it's well beloved by the SKK fandom but I want to dissect the parts that are overlooked a bit more.

“Get away from me,” Chuuya spat. “You’re not gonna convince me to do anything.” “I know.” Dazai glanced at Randou. Then he whispered quietly so that Randou couldn’t hear: “Let’s beat him. Together.” Chuuya stared at Dazai in bewilderment, seemingly uncomprehending. “…Are you being serious?” “I have a plan, but I can’t do it alone. It needs both of us to work. Do you trust me?” Chuuya held Dazai’s gaze for a brief moment and demanded, “Tell me what made you change your mind. I thought you wanted to die.” “I just felt like it. Is that not a good enough reason?” Dazai smiled, perplexed.

Dazai is perplexed by Chuuya's demand for an explanation. Dazai, up until this point, has been reconstructing his view of Chuuya. He isn't used to be questioned about his intentions as he often has very surface-level ones (because he wants to or because it's directed at some goal). Most people would simply accept Dazai's answer of "feeling like it" as trying to unravel Dazai's thoughts and feelings seems like an impossible thing. Chuuya doesn't deny TRUSTING Dazai nor think he's lying - he's "bewildered" by the statement. Instead of backing down though, Chuuya wants to know WHY. More importantly though, Chuuya believes that Dazai's explanation will be enough for him to UNDERSTAND where Dazai is coming from.

“Working for the Mafia has piqued my interest, albeit slightly,” Dazai began. “In the outside world—the world of light—death is kept separate from everyday life. It’s swept under the rug. People find it unpleasant. But the Mafia’s world isn’t like that. Death is an extension of everyday life. It’s a part of life. And I tend to think that’s more accurate. Death isn’t the opposite of life but merely a function of it. We breathe, eat, fall in love, and die. And you can’t get the full picture of living without observing death up close.” Chuuya quietly stared at Dazai’s expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. “So you’re saying…you want to live now?” “I wouldn’t go that far,” Dazai replied with a resigned smile. “Maybe I won’t find anything, but I figure I’ll give it a try. Once I successfully complete this mission, I’m going to join the Mafia. Gotta defeat him first, though. Besides…” “‘Besides’…?” “I got a new dog—you. And I still haven’t given you any commands,” Dazai said with a smirk. Chuuya snorted.

Chuuya, in this moment, still doesn't fully understand. He's trying to though. This is going to seem like a super random segue (just stay with me as I promise it's not) but also in the beginning of Fifteen is this description of Dazai. It's from Mori's perspective.

Dazai’s expression was unchanging, which made reading his thoughts nigh impossible. His face was as still as the frozen surface of a lake.

Why do I bring this up? Because Chuuya gets a similar moment about reading Dazai's face at the END of Fifteen. You would think that based on how Dazai's face/expressions/mannerisms are usually described in more serious moments, that Chuuya would get frustrated because he can't read Dazai or would once again be confused by Dazai's. The term "expressionless", "bored", "empty" are all the main synonyms used to get across how apathetic Dazai tends to be seen as. In this case however...

Chuuya glared at him, still breathing heavily. Despite his trembling legs and the sweat pouring down his face, he didn’t take his eyes off Dazai for a second. He quietly stared at Dazai as if all the answers were written on his face.

Chuuya has only known Dazai for a few days at this point. Yes, they had defeated Rimbaud together, but Dazai is his enemy in this moment - he's actively threatening the Sheep. Still, Chuuya is confident in his ability to read Dazai. The defeat of Rimbaud shifted something in their dynamic. Whatever happened in that fight created a connection between the two of them that led to an understanding on Chuuya's end that nobody else (excluding possibly Oda) has of Dazai. This might get me a lot of flack but I don't think Dazai comes to that same understanding of Chuuya until the end of Stormbringer. Yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya and is confident in his humanity but I don't think he GRASPS who Chuuya is as a person until their fight with Verlaine. Dazai is downright GIDDY when Guivre appears. It's the most interesting thing he's ever seen. It offers him both a new experience AND an opportunity for death...

Dazai looked up at the creature. “This is a singularity? Did this power really come from a skill?” He sounded downright ecstatic. “It looks like the end of the world.” Even his lips unconsciously curled with euphoria.

But when Dazai's about to give up, he chooses otherwise because of Chuuya. I won't cite the infamous "ANYTHING BUT THAT" scene with Mori as everyone is already well aware of it but instead a later moment...

“What do you want to do, then? Grow big, too, and have a fistfight with it?” Dazai’s icy gaze met Chuuya’s. “It’s hopeless. Isn’t it obvious just looking at that thing? A singularity’s like a loophole in the rules. That monster is a manifestation of something that shouldn’t exist in this world. Humans don’t stand a chance against it. There’s nothing we can do.” “You’re wrong about that,” Chuuya said, sternly holding Dazai’s gaze for several seconds. He then let go of Dazai and stated firmly: “There is something we can do about it. I’m sure of it.” Dazai listlessly dropped to the ground in a seated position. “Ha-ha-ha. This is getting interesting. And what are you basing that on?”

Dazai is surprised by Chuuya once again and is willing to shift gears because of it. He's actually relatively "comforting" of Chuuya in this scene and shows concern for him up until Chuuya activates corruption. When Chuuya DOES, it's when we get this line...

“Incredible,” a dumbfounded Dazai muttered as he watched from the top of the gas tank. “So this is the power of Arahabaki.”

Dazai does the one thing Chuuya needs him not to do - consider him as a separate being to his own power. But then...

“So that’s Arahabaki’s—that’s Chuuya’s true form,” Dazai muttered feverishly as he stared up from the surface.

He ends up correcting himself after a few more moments. Dazai really only got it in that moment, I think. Ironic considering this is the same scene that discusses the loneliness of Verlaine and Chuuya. It shifts the narrative of Chuuya being completely detached to having formed relationships and friendships. It calls out Verlaine for having wanted the same things. It also reinforces the fact that Chuuya STILL does have a connection with someone that he can rely on.

This second sun that lit up the sky eventually vanished, quietly and delicately. After limply floating in the air for a few seconds, the wings on Chuuya’s back vanished, and he slowly began to fall. Until Dazai caught him.

There is something, I think, about knowing and loving someone you don't like. Soukoku works as a partnership because they understand one another so well that they never lose interest. It's just so interesting to pick apart and see how deep that dynamic actually goes. Sorry for the rambling lol. If anyone actually made it to this point, congrats! You win nothing but my respect.