Insults and Comebacks

The quotes on this blog come from a book that I have "Insults and Comebacks for All Occasions". The book is made by KNOCK KNOCK from Venice CA, if you want to procure a copy. I will be posting approximately 5 quotes, facts, or tips per day (mostly quotes). My personal blog is http://xlusciniolax.tumblr.com/

[insultsandcomebacks]

The Young and the Old - Out of Touch

You're so old that when you lie about your age, you tell the truth.

[insultsandcomebacks]

Brains - Emotionally Retarded

Don't you think you're taking this a little too well?

[insultsandcomebacks]

Character - Sluts and Man-Whores

If you were a girl, you'd be called a ho.

[insultsandcomebacks]

Famous Lip - Celebs with Comebacks

Clare Booth Luce: "Age before beauty"

Dorothy Parker: "Pearls before swine"

[insultsandcomebacks]

Looks - Fat

On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 747

[insultsandcomebacks]

Brains - Just Plain Stupid

Ever wonder what life would have been like if you had enough oxygen at birth?

[insultsandcomebacks]

The Young and the Old - Aging Bodies

Does it take twice as long to look half as good?

[insultsandcomebacks]

Counter-Attacks - Invoking the Classics

Up yours!

[insultsandcomebacks]

Famous Lip - Celebs on Brains

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

-Abraham Lincoln, target unknown. 

[insultsandcomebacks]

Counter-Attacks; When it's time to strike back

Rehearse these lines, so you'll be ready for any barb hurled your way--no momentum killing pause, no stumbling over your words, no thinking of the perfect comeback hours too late. This is your moment to shine, when you can truly put your skills to the test and leave others in your comeback wake. 

[insultsandcomebacks]

Brains - Lacking in Skills

One of the defining characteristics of writes is the fact that they write.

[insultsandcomebacks]

Counter-Attacks - Shutting Them Up

Why are you even talking?

[insultsandcomebacks]

Famous Lip - Celebs with Comebacks

Noel Coward: "You look almost like a man."

Edna Ferber: "So do you. 

[insultsandcomebacks]

Counter-Attacks; When it's time to strike back

For a particularly mean insult, you'll want to have an equally cutting reply. For the complete idiots, or the utterly demented, make sure your retort expresses just how unoriginal or nonsensical your attackers are. Or, when you've simply had enough, unleash an end-all line that will shut them up for good.

[insultsandcomebacks]

Brains - The Classic: One Short, Two Shy

You're a few Bradys short of a bunch.

[insultsandcomebacks]

Counter-Attacks - Invoking the Classics

Shut your pie hole!

[insultsandcomebacks]

Looks - Poor Hygiene

May I suggest some manscaping?