Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships

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Social media has changed the world forever. It has changed the way we think, the way we communicate, the way we connect to each other. Are you ready? 

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Social media cutting the distance

A BT spokesman once said: "The world is getting smaller all the time as communication products and services are getting more efficient."

This thought turned out to be unbelievably true. In the past you had to travel for days to see a distant relative and find out how their life was going. Today you can be in Scotland and speak with your brother in US or your aunt in Italy with a click of the mouse. 

I am a student away from my home. I am thankful for the development of social media every day when i get to see my mother on the web camera, laugh with my brother and tell my grandparents I am doing fine and I am well fed. Without Facebook and Skype I would have to travel every week just to speak with my relatives and those trips would cost me 600 pounds for a week. And even if I had to speak with them on the phone it would still be too expensive for a part-time working student to cover the bills. 

I am sure there are thousands of other young people who find themselves in the same situation as me. However, we are somehow used to social media because we grew up with it when our grandparents are totally taken aback by it. Facebook and Skype are a great way for[older people to keep track of the lives of people who are important to them.  In Washington, 70 percent of people age 45 and older who use the Internet have at least one social media account, according to a survey. More than two-thirds said social networking sites are a great way to stay in touch. Online users ages 50 to 64 make up the fastest-growing group of social media users, according to a 2010 report by the Pew Research Center. 

With older  people starting to use the Internet more often and with teenagers using it constantly, we can certainly declare the “death of distance” in the 21st century. People meet online and speak for hours as if they met in a cafe. They do work interviews and corporate meetings online. They have their dates online and catch up with friends online. 

But with all this communication we do online nowadays we need to make sure we still stay connected to the real world and do not replace real communication with online chatting and conversations. 

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Social media giving support!

As long as it is true that social media networking websites can easily put you into depression, they can as well get you out of it. There are millions of people who have troubles on their mind and have nobody to share them with. These problems just get more and more and eventually those people start feeling dissatisfied with their lives and lonely. Social networking can help to regenerate this lost confidence and promote understanding of a common yet deeply misunderstood condition. 

The Internet society is formed of people with all characteristics and interests that form different cyber groups.  As with any large collection of people, groups tend to form around shared interests or outlooks – any website with a comment facility has the potential to form such a network, but strong communities are far more likely to form on forums and discussion boards that have a focus on a particular topic.

On those forums and discussion boards you can find your way out of depression. There nobody knows who you are and nobody judges you because of that. You can choose to hide your personality completely which enables you to share your problems with people that you will most probably never see and talk with again. In addition, people involve themselves in forums and online support groups because they feel lonely and need somebody to speak to too. This helps you be sure that your problem will be heard and not neglected as it often happens in real life. 

A study called “Internet Use and Depression Among the Elderly” done by The Phoenix Center for Advanced Legal and Economic Public Policy Studies found that Internet use led to about a 20 percent reduction in depression by contributing positively to mental well-being and facilitating interpersonal communication, thereby reducing loneliness.

Even though the Internet hold thousands of threads it can also help people in such a way that nobody else can. It can give them a feeling of belonging and understanding and the freedom to express themselves without fearing they will be mocked at or judged. 

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Impact of social media on children

Have you recently seen groups of children playing hide and seek on the playground, laughing together and having fun? I had not seen that picture since I was little. The reason is the advancement of social media. Online games, videos and social networking sites seem to be more interesting for the adolescents nowadays. 

Around 59 per cent of children have already used a social network by the time they are 10, and 43 per cent have messaged strangers online by the age of 12. A study finds that children start searching for videos on Youtube at the age of 5. Aged 10, they already have their smartphones and start using Internet slang such as “YOLO”, “OMG” and “LOL” and instant messaging. When they reach 11 years of age they are likely to first post an image or video of themselves, post a nasty comment online and set up a fake social media profile. A year later they will  first try Twitter and Whatsapp and message someone online they haven’t met in real life. When children reach 13 – their social maturity – they first try services like SnapChat and Ask FM and will try “sexting” for the first time.

Social networking sites such as Facebook and Youtube require a minimum age of 13 so that you can be registered in them. However, most of today’s younger generation neglects those requirements and lies about their age. Adults often do not notice that let their young children wander in the cyberspace. What they do not know is that the cyberspace hides many dangers especially when concerning youngsters. 

Children often do not understand the risks involved in giving too much personal information on the Internet. They may call somebody an “online friend” but this person is effectively a strangers that knows too much information about your children and may use it against them in the form of cyber bullying or theft of identity. The Internet provides access to all kinds of content at the click of a mouse - but not all of that content is suitable for children and young people to see. This may result in affecting teens’ concepts of friendship and intimacy.  "The whole idea behind intimacy is self-disclosure. Now they're doing self-disclosure to an audience of hundreds." This is why they often meet difficulty enduring long-lasting and effective relationships later in their lives. There are also concerns that young people are substituting their online relationships for physical ones, by spending more time in front of the computer than they do in the real world.

As a result of all those potential threads that social media hides, the whole perception of the real world changes for children. Starting to use the Internet at too early stages of their lives, they never fully develop the ability to entertain themselves outside in the real world between real people. This is the reason why  parents need to maintain an open dialogue and encourage children to share both good and bad online experiences. Thus, make sure they keep up with the latest social media crazes and work with their children making them realise the threads of the cyber space. 

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Social media depression - is it a real thing?

We are all familiar with social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace and Instagram. Their invention does deserve applause since they have been helping millions of people around the world connect for free, search for jobs and meet new friends. More than one billion people around the world have Facebook accounts. Twitter has 232 million users and Instagram has around 200 million. However, people have been abusing the use of social media. 

During the last 5 years, the number of preadolescents and adolescents using such sites has increased dramatically. According to a recent poll, 22% of teenagers log on to their favorite social media site more than 10 times a day, and more than half of adolescents log on to a social media site more than once a day. Seventy-five percent of teenagers now own cell phones, and 25% use them for social media. These numbers do not seem that shocking but when you calculate them in hours spent on social media web sites, more than half of the youngsters nowadays spent at least 5 hours a day logged on their Facebook accounts. 

Using Facebook or Instagram is a great way of being more sociable and being constantly in a communication with other people. However, spending too much time on social media websites and constantly checking what your Facebook friends are doing can lead to some serious problems. Researchers from the University of Missouri Columbia surveyed 736 college students and found that, basically, if you quietly stalk your friends on Facebook and then realise that your life doesn't measure up to theirs, you feel bad about yourself.

You may not always realise it but you do always compare yourself to other people on social media websites. The comparison is measured by the amount of likes or comments, how many friends you have in your friend list or who has better photos.  “I sometimes notice that my interesting posts often get less likes than others posted by my more ‘popular friends,'” humanities freshman Sonja Rolon said. “It’s hard not to let something like that define your self worth.” 

According to Carl Rogers’s Theory of Personality, every human has the basic instinct to improve themselves and realise their full potential. We define that instinct as our critical inner voice. But that critical inner voice tends to be aiming for deceptive perfection rather than improvements when we compare ourselves to others on social media. We are aiming for the perfect pictures with perfect clothes, perfect make-up at the perfect place and at the perfect time. We do that for some 100 likes  and a couple of comments that boost our self-perception. 

This is why some people have coined the term "social media depression" to informally describe the depressive thoughts associated with using social media.  Those are the thoughts that make you think you are not good enough, popular enough or pretty enough compared to your friends. This is why it is important to remember that on social media, people often present an ideal version of themselves that often does not depict reality. Nobody can ever reach that image of perfection simply because we do not live in a dream but in the real world. 

So what we need to do is stop comparing ourselves to others and stop aiming for fake perfection. Is it not more entertaining to see a funny picture on Facebook rather than to see a fake girl with fake hair and so much make-up you cannot recognise her? And is it not better to have less friends that you can count on than to have strangers in your friends list who you have never spoken to? Answering those questions and aiming for real objectives like improving our education and creating long-lasting relationships is the way out of “Social Media Depression”. 

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Cyber Terrorism - newest weapon on the market!

Cyber terrorism conjures up images of sci-fi films such as; ‘War Games’, ‘Goldeneye’ and ‘The Net’ in your mind, where a lone individual brings down the government from the other side of the world. And you are not that far from reality. The difference is that in the real world it is not a lone individual, there are whole groups and terrorist organisations which spread terror online but they have not brought down the government just yet.

According to the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation, cyber terrorism is any "premeditated, politically motivated attack against information, computer systems, computer programs, and data which results in violence against non-combatant targets by sub-national groups or clandestine agents”. In simpler words cyber terrorism is any kind of terrorist organisation posting violent images or videos on the Internet and trying to cause panic between people and send a message to the government. Those organisations usually find a way to hack into the operating systems of big companies and send their messages via the social media.

The best examples of cyber terrorism you have all heard about are the Al-Qaeda and Islamic State (IS) Islamist groups. Islamic State is a radical Islamist group that has seized large swathes of territory in eastern Syria and across northern and western Iraq. Its brutal tactics - including mass killings and abductions of members of religious and ethnic minorities, as well as the beheadings of soldiers and journalists - have sparked fear and outrage across the world. It does use weapons to kill people but its biggest weapon is social media. It uses it to spread fear. By posting online video clips where boys under the age of 10 are being trained to be soldiers or whole villages are being demolished, the IS members get closer to rebellious characters from video games. But here, it is not about reaching the next level in the game. IS has become the largest terrorist organisation in the world, forcing thousands of people to look for shelter elsewhere, for example, more than 130,000 Syrians had fled to Turkey in recent days.

Their acts are violent and vicious. All of their videos are property of the most influential media companies worldwide thus they cannot be watched freely online. The few ones that are uploaded are censored and cut. However, that does not mean that images have not flooded the social media. Even though, the internet user might not be able to see the murder itself, the images of a headless body hunt them, thus resulting in making the cyber world the ultimate platform for spreading terror.

Beheadings, crucifixions and mass shootings have been used to terrorise the enemies. IS leader has justified such atrocities by citing the Koranic verses that talk of "striking off the heads" of unbelievers, but Muslims have denounced them. Even al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri, who disavowed IS in February over its actions in Syria, warned Zarqawi in 2005 that such brutality loses "Muslim hearts and minds".

Still, disturbing images haunt the internet like ghosts.

This only proves that the development of social media does come with its pros and cons. Probably, at the dawn of the 21st century, you would never have thought that the Internet could be used in such vicious ways. But we were proved otherwise.

We always listen to stories about how much the online world has proved to be beneficial: it helps people develop, learn new things, connect with new individuals and establish more relationships.

Yet, horror stories of mass murder exist. Stories about how social media spreads fear. How it helps terrorism grow and develop, turning small rebel groups in a global treat to national security.

Even though you might not want to admit it, social media has turned out to be the perfect environment for the “terror” virus.

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Online studying - an opportunity or a thread?

Have you ever found yourself sitting in a lecture, looking at the lecturer responsible and thinking “D**n, I want to be that man! I want to have their knowledge and accomplishments!”

I have. And I can most certainly tell you this is the best motivation for a student. It is not always about your grades or about diplomas and finding a well-paid job after graduation. It is mostly about who you want to be but it would be hard to find that out without somebody to guide you and give you a real-life example, wouldn’t it? 

The advancement of social media and the Internet has given us millions of advantages and one of them is online studying. Nowadays universities like Cambridge, Oxford, Edinburgh and many more have the opportunity of online studying. It gives people who do not have the money to live in another country or those who have families and cannot simply leave them behind in the chase of a higher education the opportunity to study online the specialty they want and at the university they want. One of the most famous opportunities for online studying of all is The Open University. It is known with its motto: “There's nothing distant about studying with us”. But there is. You sit in front of your laptop and watch your lectures online. You write your course works online and submit them online. You speak with your colleagues online. And you take your exams online. There are a lot of benefits to that: 

You have the flexibility to study when most convenient for you.

You are able to study from anywhere with an internet connection.

You can have access to all University services and relevant academics.

You can learn the latest developments from people working at the leading edge in your field.

And you can still earn an internationally-recognised degree.

Even though it is a great opportunity it still lacks the real life experience. You know that moment when you finish your lecture and you have time to discuss different topics with your fellow students and gain different perspectives, hear different examples and experiences? Or the moment when you need to relax between the long lectures and you just laugh with them? Or the other moments when you need help for a course works and you can always ask them and discuss your issues with them? You cannot find that online for sure. 

Not only that but online studying could never remove the need of a real lecturer and their role in the development of students as individuals. Having online conversations with your tutor will not be the same as being able to speak with them in person.  Brown H. Douglas (2007) mentions that “teachers can play many roles in the course of teaching and this might facilitate learning. Their ability to carry these out effectively will depend to a large extent on the rapport they establish with their students, and of course, on their own level of knowledge and skills.” But online studying makes this rapport hard to be established because of the lack of real life interpersonal communication. Online students will be able to get the same information as students attending universities for real, but their connections with lecturers and tutors will be weaker. So, what online students will learn will be simply academics while all the ordinary students will learn a lesson for life. 

Online studying opens many doors. But it also closes some - the doors of real life communication. And that is the real thread. The Internet helps us slowly remove parts of our life when we use face-to-face communication like studying. Until it reaches the moment when we become computerised robots unable to feel and express our emotions. 

References:  BROWN, H., 2007. Principals of Language Learning and Teaching. New York: Pearson Education. 

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The art of stealing made easier by the Internet!

Stealing has always been an existent part of our lives since old times. Thieves have always found a way to get to your personal information for the purpose of financial frauds or identity thefts or just stolen money and other valuable items. However, the Internet is providing new ways for people to steal your personal information and to commit fraud. Forget the times when thieves had to steal your wallet and clone your credit card. The 21st century crook needs only a computer and an internet connection. Thanks to the development of networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook the Internet is flooded with the personal information of potential fraud victims. 

Identity theft is a crime whereby criminals impersonate individuals, usually for financial gain. I am sure you have all registered at a site which required your names, address, telephone number, or even banking or credit card information. Well, surprise! You are not supposed to share such personal information with the Internet. Once it is out there, you have revealed it to the whole world.  Armed with your personal information, a malicious person could do any number of things, like apply for loans or new credit card accounts. It's possible they could request a billing address change and run up your existing credit card without your knowledge. Identity theft goes even further. Thieves can use your information to obtain a driver's license or other documentation that would display their photo but your name and information. I am sure you wouldn’t want another you wandering around the streets, would you? Especially if that other person is a thief whose information could be obtained by the police and get you in trouble! 

You are asking yourself how do people get to your information. Have you ever heard of Spyware? It travels over the Internet and infects your computer. You can encounter Spyware by downloading files, opening e-mail attachments or clicking on pop-ups, or visiting devious Web sites.  Without your knowledge, spyware runs in the background while it records your Internet browsing habits and keystrokes, monitors the programs you use and collects your personal information, which can lead to credit card fraud and online identity theft. 

Spyware can work not only on your personal laptops but it can also be used to hack whole banking systems and steal millions. A report describes the biggest bank theft known so far. The hackers have been active since at least the end of 2013 and infiltrated more than 100 banks in 30 countries. After gaining access to banks’ computers through phishing schemes and other methods, they lurk for months to learn the banks’ systems, taking screen shots and even video of employees using their computers. At the end the thieves manage to steal $1 billion in series of thefts. 

So if Internet crooks can hack into the most secured servers in the world, they can most surely hack into your laptops, too. This is why you need to be extra careful when you are surfing the Internet and take measures not to expose your personal information to the whole world. There are a few useful tips that could be used for that purpose. 

Don’t send personal information in e-mail or instant messages.

Limit personal information you post on the Web and restrict who can access it.

Unless you know and trust the sender, don’t open files, download programs or click links in e-mails.

Dedicate one credit card solely for online purchases.

Keep your Web browser updated to ensure you have the latest security features installed.

Avoid storing sensitive information like credit card numbers or your Social Security number on your computer.

Before disposing of an old computer, use a utility program to “wipe” your hard drive.

Download, install and update firewall, anti-virus and anti-spyware security software regularly.

Be smart about your passwords. 

So be smart on the Internet! Do not make stealing even easier than it already is!

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Cyber bullying can end in tragedy!

I remember when I used to go to high school there were always popular kids who would pick on the unpopular ones. They would put funny pictures of them on the school drawers, tell unpleasant stories about them and even beat them up just for fun. However, there was always somebody to stand up for them, somebody who found it inappropriate to make fun of people in this cruel way. Or at least I used to think it was cruel. Well, that was before cyber bullying became popular. At least there was somebody to see the bullies who picked up on people at school. Nowadays children are being bullied and nobody even knows what they are going through. 

Cyber bullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology including devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites. It can include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.

It is different from old-fashioned high school bullying because it can happen 24 hour 7 days per week, especially when the victim is alone in the cyber world. The number of people who have been bullied online grows with every year. In a poll of 11- to 17-year-olds, 35% reported that they have experienced cyber bullying – compared with 16% last year. Four in 10 said they had witnessed others being picked on online – almost double the 22% recorded last year. Kids who become cyber bullies are more likely to be the “cool” kids, trying to show off as such or people who hold grudges against others. The consequences for the bullied ones though are often crucial. They start skipping school, using alcohol and drugs, receive poor grades, have low self-esteem which leads to health problems, difficulties establishing healthy relationships and unfortunately bullying may even result in committing suicide. 

Such a tragic end has Amanda Todd’s story. She posted a story to YouTube 3 years ago about being cyber-bullied and was found dead in Coquitlam, Canada. Authorities believe she committed suicide.

The description on her Youtube video reads: “ I'm struggling to stay in this world, because everything just touches me so deeply. I'm not doing this for attention. I'm doing this to be an inspiration and to show that I can be strong. I did things to myself to make pain go away, because I'd rather hurt myself then someone else. Haters are haters but please don't hate, although I’m sure I'll get them. I hope I can show you guys that everyone has a story, and everyone’s future will be bright one day, you just gotta pull through. I'm still here aren't I?”

Her story touched millions of hearts. Actions were taken. Cyber bullying campaigns such as #DeleteCyberbullying and StopBullying were created. But taking action after something like that happened doesn’t make it any different, does it? It does not bring back the life that was lost. 

So think again before you send an angry message! Think before you threaten somebody online no matter what they have done! Solve problems by speaking not by killing! 

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Social media - a place to showcase your talent!

Social media is often connected with loss in real communication between people but what we usually fail to do is find the positive side in everything negative. And the development of social media certainly has its advantages when talking about showcasing you talents. It gives the opportunity of reaching broad audiences easier than ever. 

Submit photos.

Upload video files.

Attach links to YouTube or other video sharing sites. 

That is all it takes to take a part in an online talent competition. No funds, no hard work, no trying to get to music agencies. This is how easy the Internet has made talent showcasing nowadays. Taking part in an online competition enables you to compare your talent to those of other people, be heard by a bigger audience and maybe even win some money and fame. When you think of some of the old-fashioned 20th century musicians and their rough walk towards fame it sounds almost unfair. They had to make recordings, take them to different talent agencies and even then it was not sure they will actually get a response. Some of them never managed to reach the broad audience. Well, today you can reach it with a click of your mouse. Posting your videos on Youtube guarantees you being heard by the audience and having real fans before even becoming a real musician. 

This is exactly what happened with Justin Bieber who is now a world famous and beloved singer.  The Biebs was posting homemade performance videos at 12 years old, and those videos convinced execs at Island Def Jam Recordings to sign Bieber to a huge deal before he was even able to drive.

The kid has not always been famous. Once upon a time he was just an ordinary boy who spent too much time on Youtube chasing after celebrities channels and posting videos. And his efforts have repaid!  With an estimated $55 million in earnings last year, it’s safe to say Bieber got a pretty good return on his time spent uploading videos to YouTube.

Not only Youtube can help you become famous. There are all kinds of talent TV shows as X-Factor and Music Idol that have online auditions and everybody could take part in them.  In 2009 Susan Boyle was a complete unknown in the music world. That changed overnight when a video of her performing “I Dreamed a Dream” from “Les Miserables” on “Britain’s Got Talent” went viral and became (at the time) the most viewed video ever. 

Social media has also enhanced the development of talent scouting. Almost all celebrities nowadays are paid to support an Youtube channel where new hidden talents could be revealed. 

Advancements in technology have given you and me the power to own as much digital terrain as we want, meaning that we can own a hundred blogs, forums and profiles in different sites all showing a part of us that we want people to see. And the variety of places to do that is immense. You can use DeviantArt, Pinterest and WeHeartIt to showcase photography, design and drawings and Youtube for showcasing music and theatre talents. These are a few out of thousands of examples. 

For what it is worth, if you have a talent and you want to show it to the world, do not go chasing talent managers but try displaying it on the Internet first. If it is valuable it will be appreciated and will attract millions of views. And if it is not, well, we will all have a good laugh on your talent deceptions. 

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Online dating - can you find real love online?

Remember the times when people actually had to go out and talk to strangers in order to meet their other halves? They dressed up nicely, got to meet new people, talk with them a bit and go on a real date. Well, all that is in the past. Nowadays people prefer creating a profile on online dating sites and going on blind dates. This could help you find real love especially if you are too shy to meet people in person but it could also deceive you in ways you did not expect!

If you are eager to find your match today all you have to do is sit on your computer and create a profile on one of the numerous online dating sites. The most popular ones are: match.com, eHarmony, Lovestruck, DatingDirect.com, PARSHIP.co.uk,  Muddymatches,  PlentyofFish,  Mysinglefriend.com, BeautifulPeople.com,  Tastebuds, and of course the trendiest one today Tinder. They have grown unimaginably popular during the last few years.11% of internet users (representing 9% of all adults) say that they have personally used an online dating site such as Match.com, eHarmony, or OK Cupid. 7% of cell phone apps users (representing 3% of all adults) say that they have used adating app on their cell phone. All these sites request your personal information such as gender, age, region, interests as well as pictures of you. People would see your photos and information and judge for you by them. This way you could create the personality you want to have not necessary it being true.

But be aware that if you can lie about who you are on the Internet others can most definitely do the same! There are hundreds of tips all over the Internet concerning how to create the perfect online dating profile that will attract the most matches. This blog gives ideas on how to create an “impacting” profile. You have to be positive, constructive, efficient and communicative and mention what you want more of in your life. It all sounds good but when it comes to being honest, not a lot of people think it is necessary. So lets pretend you are a middle aged woman looking for a match. What happens online is you find a handsome man, you like his appearance, you like his interests. He introduces himself as a tough and strong person, who is communicative and easy-going, has numerous different interests and seeks to achieve great accomplishments in life. But then you go on a blind date with him and things go unbearably wrong. It turns out you know nothing about the person you are dating.

A woman shares:  I went out with a guy from MeetMe. Things were going really well, and he eventually almost moved in with me and my family. Recently found out he is awaiting a hearing for a sexual attack on a child under 12.

Another woman tells her story: “I immediately knew I wasn’t attracted to him but I invited him to a party just to be polite. There he started crying because he though I ditched him.”

However, apart from the thread of being deceived, there are some positive sides of online dating.  According to a new survey by psychologists at the University of Rochester in the US, online dating is the second most common way of starting a relationship. It removes some of the barriers to true love like time, distance,  or even your dad sitting on the porch with a shotgun across his lap and an expression that says no boy is good enough for my girl. Another plus to online dating is that individuals who lack comfort speaking to people in person find it online and that gives them more inner confidence. Some people say online dating “is about becoming comfortable so the outgoing part of you has a chance to shine”.

Others tell their online dating stories with happy endings:  “ My wife and I met on Craigslist back before it became a creep show. In fact, I had responded to a post and never heard back. Months later, I put up a post and she responded”. Another man claims: “Met my awesome fiance on OKcupid. Wedding is next October. Don't let anyone tell you online dating never works”.

66% of online daters have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or app, and 23% of online daters say they have met a spouse or long term relationship through these sites. Almost half of the online dating sites users claim they have found their perfect matches online. I guess you will just have to take a risk with online dating. You may be disappointed but there is also e 50% chance you will find the love of your life.

In conclusion, event though the traditional way of dating is fast forgotten nowadays, online dating represents you with a chance to learn a lesson for life or to find your husband or wife. You will never know until you try!

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The Internet - a strong drug !

Have you ever found yourself rooted to your laptops - skipping meals, staying up all night, missing important appointments? It is like you are living in another reality - the cyberspace. It is happening! Internet addictions are a real thing and one of the biggest threads nowadays. 

What does Internet addiction mean?  Internet addiction is described as an impulse control disorder, which does not involve use of an intoxicating drug and is very similar to pathological gambling.  Some Internet users may develop an emotional attachment to on-line friends and activities they create on their computer screens. This could be blogging, playing online games, chatting with other people in forums or Facebook or researching topics of interest. However, no matter why you are using the Internet, if the time you spent on your laptop outreaches the time you spend with real people, then you have a problem! 

 What are the warning signs for the Internet addiction? Those suffering from the addiction tend to be preoccupied by the Internet and get moody or easily irritated when they haven’t been online for a few hours. They often cannot control the amount of time they spend online which sometimes results in the loss of their relationships, jobs and educational opportunities. They usually make a few tries to stop using the Internet so much but their efforts are unsuccessful since their longing to escape from problems is exceeding them.  

Those who suffer Internet addiction often feel trapped by it and lose their sense of reality. This is exactly what happened with a young boy addicted to the online game “World of Warcraft”. 

“Whenever I went online, it really was like getting high on a drug,” said Walker in an interview with Dr. Nancy Snyderman. “I mean, I would log in and I could just feel the dopamine start coming as soon as I was typing in my password and stuff, just waiting for it to log in.” 

Mr. Walker (28) admitted to playing 16 hours per day since he was 11. By the time he realised he was addicted to the game, he had already lost one third of his life playing and had lost his ability to be happy in real life spending his time between people. 

This is only one of the thousands examples of young people who are losing their personal lives to the Internet. All girls complain about their boyfriends playing games all the time, and boys about their girlfriends just scrolling down their Facebook pages or online shopping. But what they do not realise is that this harmless playing or scrolling can easily turn into a disease. So if you notice any of the signs of the addiction certain measures should be taken. 

In China there are military-style boot camps designed to wean young people off their addiction to being online.

Up to 70 percent of the 110 teenagers being treated at the centre suffer from problems caused by the overuse of the Internet, mostly online games. Students take part in military-style drills, do cleaning and washing and take turns helping to cook meals.Counseling sessions with psychologists aim to help victims rebuild self-confidence and their ties to family and friends. 

These military camps may be an effective way to break your Internet addiction. But if you are not lucky enough to be living in China and having one of those close to you, there are useful self-tips for helping yourselves. Firstly, you should recognise the problem underlying in your addiction and seek a specialist to solve it. Secondly, you need to find a way to steam off stress and anger by any other way except hiding behind the Internet curtains. And most importantly, the more relations you establish, the more support from friends you can get. 

Set yourself free from the Internet! Live your life to the fullest, in the real world, surrounded by real people feeling real emotions. You can never find that online!

[interpersonalrelationshipss-blog]

Fraping - The old fashioned jokes substituted with intruding privacy.

Do you remember the time when we used to make harmless jokes on behalf of somebody, laugh a bit and move on? Well, digital media has made it possible to take these jokes to another level - a level where your pranks can get you in prison for 10 years and cost you $2700.  Frape is a term that emerged in the beginning of 21st century with the increasing popularity of social media platforms. It is described in the dictionary as “The act of Raping someones Facebook profile when they leave it logged in. Profile pictures, sexuality and interests are commonly changed however fraping can include the poking or messaging of strangers from someone else's Facebook account.”

It is used mainly by teenagers who frape not only their friends but their parents, teachers and dates. A girl shares in a forum that she fraped her mother by posting on her Facebook wall “OH god.. I'm pregnant again.. not sure whether to be down or excited!! x” She had a good laugh for certain but imagine her mother’s shock when she started receiving congratulation calls, messages and posts! Other people joke with their friends sexuality: “is it wrong that I find squirrels attractive?”, add new friends to their profile or delete old ones, change their names or relationship status.

Most of today’s youngsters can openly admit that they have fraped their friends before. They do it with the intention to make a joke, laugh a bit and delete the post.  But what happens when people use fraping as a revenge? You may get fined and end up being sent to jail. On 6th April 2011 an Irish man found out his girlfriend cheated on him and decided to confront her. His revenge included taking her phone and posting on her Facebook wall that she was a “whore” and “would take any offers”. People would judge her, make a few mean comments and she would learn her lesson, right? But this story had a different turnout. The man had been prosecuted under the country's Criminal Damages Act, which imposes a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and $13,600 fine. The case marked the first time someone had been held liable for damages involving a social media account. He avoided prison time when the judge determined a monetary penalty was more appropriate, fining the defendant $2,700. This particular man might have found his way out of jail for the offence on his ex-girlfriend but others who try and follow his example may spend the next 10 years of their lives locked behind bars.  

Even though the fraping trend has emerged as means of joking with people and having fun, it has gone too far. Far enough so that is could be called “Facebook rape”. And far enough that the issue of its consequences is being discussed by politicians. 

Fraping offends millions of people every year especially when used for the purpose of “getting back” at somebody. The only way for that trend to stop is if the problem reaches a wider range of people and more countries follow Ireland’s example and make it illegal and prohibited.