freiheit

something broke inside of me and left me with a nerve split in two. in the beginning, the extremities linked to the cut hurt me so badly that I paled in pain and perplexity. however the split places gradually scarred over. until coldly, I no longer hurt. I changed, without planning to. I used to look at you from my inside outward and from the inside of you, which because of love, I could guess. after the scarring I started to look at you from the outside in. and also to see myself from the outside in: I had transformed myself into a heap of facts and actions whose only root was in the domain of logic. at first I couldn't associate me with myself. where am I? I wondered. and the one who answered was a stranger who told me coldly and categorically: you are yourself.

[cwote]

[visvya]

https://www.instagram.com/p/-CSfmSyEnk/

[thoughts-memories]

[interventiion]

A um amor desgastado

Como chegamos aqui?

Éramos tão felizes.  Do amanhecer ao anoitecer Do amor ao desejo Do olá ao até logo

Sufocante amor, Companheirismo árduo,  Amor sem fim.  Carícias,  Abraços, Promessas - feitas ao reflexo dos olhos;

Desespero. Sufoco.  Indecisão.  Término. 

Ódio. Raiva. Angústia. Repete.  Ódio, raiva, angústia. 

Arrependimento.

Isolamento.

Portas fechadas.

Fechadas, as portas. 

[interventiion]

May 1st, 2016

Don’t think I’ve ever felt so sad, lonely & disposable before. 

I can certainly say that I, most likely, have no friends. I’ve become a lone wolf in its ultimate form - I push people away, and don’t (and can’t) start conversations, ever. The feeling that I could disappear and no one would miss me is strong; also real. Oblivion is inevitable.  I see no joy in life other than work, and I have no luck or patience for love.  I’ve always been known as a happy and optimistic person, and I try to keep that mask on. But these days, I can’t do that anymore. Can’t fake a smile, can’t pretend I’m happy with my life.  I am not.  I don’t know how to fix the mess I made.  I truthfully wish I could disappear. 

[glassbonespaperskin]

Here (Neon) by WRDBNR on Flickr

[radfatvegan]

[lovelustquotes]

[ex-xonerated]

[perfectstormrising]

you chug a fifth of alcohol by yourself & everyone around you is too busy cheering to wonder how empty you had to be in order to do it

This fucked me up (via obsessiveloserr)

[lickgold]

[susannahirene]

[sheisvienna-deactivated20150714]

[aseaofquotes]

[aseaofquotes]

Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God

[brooklynsezno-deactivated202505]

[-circa]

[fox-party]