hello vonnie
shark vs the universe
@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever
taylor price
Misplaced Lens Cap
ellievsbear
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#extradirty
KIROKAZE
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle
Color Me Curious
tannertan36
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
roma★
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noise dept.
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@peptalkgirls
Self care is not a luxury, it’s a responsibility. We MUST feed ourselves, rest our bodies, wear comfortable clothing, not overwork ourselves, reside in comfortable shelters, and de-stress as much as possible, as often as possible. Cutting corners with your health and comfort to reach your goals is actively destructive behavior that we need to stop glorifying. This is not a game. You need to take care of yourselves or you will die. Please choose life.
For some people, life doesn’t truly begin until they’re 26-30. The way we romanticize and obsess over youth is super harmful. Your life is not over at 21, I promise you. It’s just beginning
dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better
for some reason, with this website, i was able to complete small tasks ive been fruitlessly bugging myself to do for weeks??
anyway, i feel almost good now :^)
im glad this got some notes!!!! i hope it helps y’all find some measure of peace or comfort <3
Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs
its not lying if its to employers or cops
and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared
Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now. I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling. (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)
A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.” And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)
At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)
I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did. These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask. Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do. I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent). They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state. Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not. Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them. Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.
We wrote up a handy list of those illegal questions here:
10 Questions You Should Never Be Asked in a Job Interview
Hopefully people already know this by now, but I saw way too often back when I worked in retail. Don’t add your coworkers or boss on social media. Yes, your coworkers too. You don’t want to accidentally say something to them or have them see a post and mention it to your boss. I’ve seen it happen.
am i the only person not affected by generalized positivity… like post it notes in bathrooms that say ‘you’re beautiful’ or posts that are like ‘smile! you are a beautiful sunshine flower!’ i’m just like … okay…
I just heard a psychologist (Guy Winch) say that the people that positive affirmations help most are actually the people who have high or at least normal self-esteem. They really do cheer those people up!
But for the rest of us they run so counter to our general worldview (we’re fundamentally bad and deserve nothing) that our brain rejects them immediately as lies and uses that moment to remind us of how terrible and abnormal we actually are.
What usually works for people with low self-esteem is stuff like writing out a list of very specific things we know we’re good at, and revisiting it every day to write a paragraph elaborating on one of those things (i.e. “I’m a compassionate person and here are five examples”) to try to set our brain on a different track long term.
bro oh my god … vanilla extract
vanilla extract smells wonderful but tastes horrific on its own. but mixed with sugar and flour and cream it tastes just like it smells. we need the support of others to reach our full potential
no man is an island everyone is vanilla extract
My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:
Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.
I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.
My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT
She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar
My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the King’s college, as a lord!!
mellow.doodles ~ Instagram
Great news! You absolutely can parent yourself, at any age. That hurt child who wants love, affirmation and acceptance is still alive within your soul. Show yourself love. Show yourself kindness. Sit in the sunlight, watch the stars, eat ice cream in the park. Buy yourself that stuffed toy you always wanted (for me, it was a toy tiger, and I found one years later in an op shop for a few dollars so I bought it). Wear soft clothes. Buy fairy lights. Sit on the ground and watch a bug climbing a leaf. Let yourself cry, and cry, and cry, then make a huge dish of pasta and eat the whole lot while watching cartoons. Paint with your fingers. Dye your hair, or cut it. Buy underwear with unicorns on them. Tie dye shirts. Write a letter to yourself. Start a little garden, and care for it, and eat the tomatoes straight off the vine. You have the power to nurture those parts of you that were neglected. It takes time and it’s hard, but it’s worth it.
actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.
The brain cannot differentiate between joking about something and legitimately believing it. If you joke about hating yourself, your brain will eventually believe it.
Work/Life Balance is a Thing That You Need and Deserve, and any boss who tries to tell you otherwise is a lying scumbag.
Blonde person with yellow popsicle: can somebody tell me how the fuck you make friends after high school?
Brunette person with glasses: Show up somewhere regularly. The reason you make friends in high school is because you see the same people everyday. The reason you make friends at work is because you see the same people everyday. If you want to make friends as an adult, go to the same cafe every week, or go to a calligraphy class. If you don’t want to leave the house you can just go to the same twitch stream everyday that’s what I do, and I’ve made friends there. If you are a familiar face in a place where people share your interests, you’ll make friends.
This is 100% correct. Please follow this advice. Seek out something you find interesting and consistently interact with people who do as well.
it’s normal for our bodies to constantly be changing. there are so many factors to our ways of life. we can’t blame ourselves for little shifts and imperfections. weight changes, skin marks, and bloating happen. don’t let any of that convince you you should deny yourself what will keep you healthier.
I love being an adult because you know what actually happens when you run your car into a curb and scratch up the bumper?
Nothing. You get it fixed, or you don’t. Whatevs.
You know what actually happens when you are depressed or sick or on your period and don’t cook dinner?
Nothing. You still get to eat something, nobody scolds you, it doesn’t have any real bearing on your future success, and you don’t get soft shunned for a week by your family.
You know what actually happens when you break stuff, forget stuff, get sick, fall asleep, are rude, miss a flight, don’t know how to do XYZ thing on fixing cars or canning food or whatever, lose things, get lost because you can’t read a map and forgot to charge your phone, buy the wrong groceries, plant the wrong plants, not make your bed, make your bed wrong, jump on your bed, sleep on your bed, eat crackers in your bed, have emotions literally anywhere?
Nothing.
Nothing happens.
No one is mad.
No one can hurt you, and if they do there are laws saying they can’t and that it’s an actual crime with legal consequences.
All there are are outcomes and different paths and different problems and different situations and you just bumble your way forward into dealing with those and that’s it. That’s the whole thing. It’s not the wrong choice, having problems isn’t indicative of your inherent badness or inadequacy or lack of applying yourself. It’s just life, and it’s happening to literally everyone.
I’m not even kidding.
You just do stuff and nothing bad happens. Walk around existing? Nothing bad will happen. Wild.
You can cry. In public. And the most likely outcome is not that you will get taken away to receive the beating of your lifetime, it is that people will mostly ignore you and some will be kinder to you. 🤯
On Saturday I got pulled over because it turned out I'd been driving on expired tags for a year and hadn't even noticed.
I got told to "take care of it soon please" and let go with a warning. Today I went to the DMV and paid a $5 late fee along with the 2-year fee for registration, got new plates and stickers and that was that.
A year late. No big deal. No one was shocked or appalled. It was just a thing that happened and then I took care of it. No biggie.
Turns out, people expect you to make mistakes because they're people and they make them too. More often than not, you can just fix them and move on.
Thank you for this lovely positive post!
This really drives home the point that the way we raise children in general is abusive; that most people don’t really see children as human beings. It’s not just a percentage of nasty individuals, this kind of punative attitude towards kids is the norm. Even if your parents were normal and kind, school is designed to teach you that making mistakes, having accidents, and being in a bad mood are all crimes punishable by excommunication. And nobody is questioning this. Teachers prevent kids from taking bathroom breaks, and nobody seems to think it’s a human rights violation. What the fuck?!
On Doctors and Dates
I just broke up with my allergist, and the reception lady seemed really surprised. But I have the same rules for doctors as I do for dates which is that I need:
1. To feel respected 2. To feel like they are listening 3. For them to be polite
That’s my minimum of what I need in any sort of relationship, and this doctor was 0 for 3, so I dumped her.
I’m not all about telling people how to live life, but mine improved so much when I adopted these rules and I highly recommend them
