HOLY SHITBALLS BATMAN. So my brother moved out, my grandmas passed away, I lost some friends, had an emotionally abusive relationship, got fired from a job, had my anxiety worsen to the point where it affected my health and my dad basically lost his job. But I'm still kicking and screaming and things are so much better now. I see my brother every so often, my parents no longer have to worry about theirs as they are at peace now. The friends I lost are horrible people so I don't count it as so much of a loss. The emotionally abusive relationship I had was only two months long and now I'm in a much healthier one that's been going for seven months strong. The job I was fired from sucked balls anyway and I was only there two weeks and now I work in a much better job. I take medication for my anxiety and I am much healthier now. My dads job is still up in the air, though. Basically I miss Tumblr. I miss roleplay and I certainly miss my angry baby Hayner. I'm so sad some of you have deleted your accounts that I was close with, omfg. Hopefully I can find you guys again. Anywho, I'm at work but I have my tablet with me and will post a new promo or whatever later when it's dead later since I'm closing. Just wanted you all to know why I was gone for so long and why I'm back now of all times.
I’m detesting continuously being unable to to uphold my word of getting to those drafts, but the reality is my mental health has just deteriorated before my eyes ever since whatever sickness I caught at the convention I was at during the end of March.
I’m not in a great place right now emotionally. Writing is feels like an obligation and responsibility instead of the fun that it’s supposed to be. I absolutely hate that. I love writing. Writing is fun. Tumblr is one of my favourite mediums for it. I love makings themes, improving my HTML skills and making icons for my characters, and most of all; writing them.
Between the other writing mediums I’ve been involved with, all the other roleplays and characters I have, it’s considerably overwhelming. Unfortunately, it’s more than just roleplaying itself.
Life is overwhelming for me right now. I’ve been suffering with dipping back into my old ways of catastrophizing situations, assuming the world is against me and everyone secretly dislikes me but won’t say it to me face... I don’t want to become that person again because that person immerses themselves so unintentionally deep in negativity it’s difficult to see the positivity. I’m starting to lose sight of that positivity and that’s not okay with me. I’m working on gaining it back.
I also have this developing an anxiety that I never had before. Everything that involves me, well, involving myself in it has me anxious, and it’s heightened more so with one of the things that has always made me anxious which is instant messaging (Skype, etc). I messaged one of my friends regarding these issues yesterday but she has not sent me a message back and she is always on during the day and my mind won’t let me not think she’s mad at me and that’s KILLING me.
In other words, I need to recuperate. Two years out of high school and I’ve finally decided I want to study Geology, so I will be upgrading some high school courses AKA taking all the other sciences and some pre-calculus that I was unable to take during high school because it would be impossible to have done it all then. I will be focusing on work, soon to be school, and cosplay (as it is the only hobby of mine that isn’t making me feel like I need to breathe into a paper bag).
I will understand if you guys don’t want to stick around for whenever I end up coming back. I will make an update in a week or two to see if things improve. Thanks for being amazing, and for even just following me in the first place, because that means a lot that you guys want to even interact with me. And to those I have had the privilege of interacting with so far, thank you! I hope you will all still be around when I come back, because I would love to continue whatever we’ve started, or even start something new.
I know I said I didn’t wanna clog up your dashes but I paid $2000 for my costume AND YOU ALL NEED TO SEE IT WHOA.
LOOK AT IT.
LOOK AT THOSE SHOES.
The shirt is a little big (even though we did the measurements with my binder on) in the chest area so that needs to be altered. BUT YOU ARE SEEING CORRECTLY. THERE IS FOAM IN THE SHORTS. LOOK THEY STAND UP BY THEMSELVES:
My brother got his Keyblade and shoes yesterday for Riku:
And no, the shoes aren’t gigantic for a look. His feet are actually just that big (also kitty paws in the background).
THAT IS ME HOLDING IT YES, you guys will get a Munday soon. And yes, I do own camouflage sweatpants. I bought them solely because Hayner. ISN’T THAT KEYBLADE JUST THE DEFINITION OF BEAUTY?!
I nearly ended up crying when I opened the box for my costume this morning. I think I may actually shed a tear when I get the base wigs to style into Sora’s gravity defying hair.
My Keyblade won’t be arriving until next month, sadly, but I will post tons of pictures when I get it, as it is also a birthday present from my brother!
i s2g i am here i've just been reconnecting with some old rp partners and getting over this sore throat while keeping up with work and getting ready for a convention day on saturday as well as making sure my friend is okay because her dad has cancer and she has lost four family members in the past four years to cancer and [/WHEEZES] toO MUCH IS GOING ON PARDON ME
"Uh-huh. Now you see my point. Now that you're done being a grump... Yo. Nice to meet you outside of the ring. I think." He certainly wasn't one for first impressions.
“ Yeah, whatever — nice to meet ya too, I guess. ” Okay, so his demeanour has softened slightly.
"..." He just keeps yelling. "Well it's our first encounter! How am I not supposed to bring it up? Just go back to stranger mode and randomly approach like-- hey I don't know you- and so and etcetera?!" Huff.
“ Well — ! Yeah, maybe! ” At this point he’s clearly hit a wall.
"I don't want to, but you won't express anything other than anger and ... what looks like hate? I'm just trying to talk. Jeez. The poking is just to get your attention..." Hurt pout.
“ That’s ‘cause you keep talkin’ about stuff that makes me mad! So, c’mon, it’s an easy fix — at least I thought so. ”
Gemiya tries to figure out how to fasten this last part of this odd outfit that people wore during the struggle tournament. It was a bunch of what looked like velcro straps. Apparently they were used to gather the orbs that sometimes the officiators would drop into the sandlot for the fighters to collect whilst fighting one another. Knocking off orbs off each other was apparently one of the tactics used in this specific tournament. The whole concept of the straps and orbs was interesting, the only new part of a sparring tourney that she’d seen.
Alright, finally, it was on. What did disappoint her of all this, was the fact she wouldn’t be able to use her own blade. Then again that was… probably a good thing since it could really hurt someone. Instead she was to use one of the struggle bats offered to her.
Taking the blue bat by the handle, she walked out and onto the sandlot to meet her opponent for the next round. Her first two bouts ended with her victorious and she was able to move onto the next round. Gemiya was actually only just competing in the struggle tournament for the first time and thankfully so far things were going well. Most of the time there was no need for any competitive spirit anywhere… but when that spirit needed to be brought out?
Competition tends to bring out the worst in a person… or perhaps a side that not many get to see.
Where was the other Struggler then? Were they not ready? Everyone in the sandlot stood on the far sides of the foot tall platform, eagerly awaiting to see what sounded like a regular fighter in this competition. So how would they do against a new competitor then?
In only the past few months Hayner had vastly improved his Struggle skills, but he still fell short of beating his rival, Seifer. Making it through this next round would ensure that chance was placed appropriately in his grasp. Bragging rights for a year were almost as sweet as the sea salt ice cream he was bound to enjoy after the tournament. He made the last few adjustments to the gear before receiving a few morale boosting words from his best friends and most loyal fans, Pence and Olette. He shot a trademark grin their way and clambered up onto the platform.
Then it hit him.
He was up against some fresh blood in this competition. So new, he failed to recall ever meeting his opponent until finding himself currently face to face with her. She worked her way this far up the ladder, which meant the fight would actually be, well, a fight. With the bat’s handle nestled firmly in his grip, he placed his free hand authoritatively on his hip. He promised he would quit trying to psych out the other Struggler’s he went up against, but his mouth flew open anyway.
“ Let’s hope I don’t send you home cryin’ like the others, ” He was over exaggerating to the greatest degree, but these were the moments of a first impression he was treading on, and he’d be damned if his disposition was not as clear as the sky overhead. He swung his bat up and tauntingly aimed it in her direction while the rest of him stood poised on the physicality of his prowess.
birthday: star wars day (may 4th)
gender: female
orientation: ???
age: 19
favorite candy: it various tbh but right now it’s hershey’s hugs
favorite pizza: pepperoni
favorite salad dressing: ranch
favorite meal: chicken souvlaki with rice
best friend(s): um, well, you see... i dun’t have any ; v ;
best relative: my mom and dad tbqh
best pet: my tuxedo cat, chaplin
best celebrity: too many but um JEFF BRIDGES
one random fact about your day: i had a dream last night that had jesse mccartney in it
one random fact about your job/school: i work at a wellness centre so???
one random fact about your favourite tv show: nathan fillion (it’s a fact yup)
one random fact you wish was a fact but it isn’t: that i totally can’t say all my demyx’s lines in khii word for word or almost perfectly recite seifer’s first line in the game
favorite soda: coca cola
best memory: i’m certain it will be this weekend, getting to cosplay with my dad!
one random fact about you: i cosplay but i’m not very good at it yet owo
tag five people: if you see this, do it yup
Send me HC + a word and I’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my character.
WHY DID YOU SEND ME THREE OF THESE GEEZUS
It rarely occurs. Once in a blue moon will Hayner even open up to Pence or Olette; no one else. He refuses to be viewed as anything but tough, so puncturing holes of vulnerability in himself by releasing those floodgates is far from achieving that rebellious façade he pushes onto everyone he runs into. Although, it’s not entirely a façade as he is essentially emotionally stunted.
Instead of talking about his feelings, he’ll get in your face and tell you to get lost, find a way to take control of the conversation and use that to his advantage to either humiliate you or create some more friction.
He basically just doesn’t do feelings often. They’re petty and icky as far as he’s concerned, stemming back from some years of not-so-pleasant interactions in the past.
a thousand disbelievers couldn’t keep me on the ground
i’ve invented a momentum that’ll never slow me down
i believe it cause i feel it and i shout it out loud
i can, i can, i can so
