ego…… theoretical cathy thoughts on AH 👐 can i ask for them
uncanny. desperate. somewhat of a pity. offputting. not dislike but almost when you feel so bad for something you jeer at it. and it's not sourced from genuine hostility. it's sourced because it reminds it of herself. and she does not like having to face the ghosts in her closet, you know?
mood swings that shuffle between disgust, to almost a sense of feeling bad and maybe even camaraderie to superiority. she's not that bad, right? right? whatever.... it is, it's way worse than her!
but more than anything. ah is relatable. she does have a habit of flocking to those with shared traits to her so as much ugly invoked of her. there's something sincere too that can come out. just she goes through the craziest mood swings. and sometimes, i can see ah saying or doing something that hits a little too close to home.
two individuals desperate for warmth. for understanding that they themselves vehemently deny due to the way they are or were made. different reasons of refusal & denial too.
"you remind me of the rotten aspects of myself. i'm filled with both the urge to soothe and muffle you all at once. how ... uncomely of me."