I’M DOING BETTER!! I WAKE UP WITH HAPPINESS IN MY HEART!! NOT EVERYDAY WILL BE PERFECT BUT JUST KNOWING THAT I AM ALIVE AND HAVE MYSELF ON MY SIDE IS A REALLY GOOD THING. I’m doing better. that’s pretty cool.
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Love Begins
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shark vs the universe
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#extradirty

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@theartofmadeline

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@invisiblebikeboy
I’M DOING BETTER!! I WAKE UP WITH HAPPINESS IN MY HEART!! NOT EVERYDAY WILL BE PERFECT BUT JUST KNOWING THAT I AM ALIVE AND HAVE MYSELF ON MY SIDE IS A REALLY GOOD THING. I’m doing better. that’s pretty cool.
when mary oliver said “so this is the world. i’m not in it. it is beautiful” and “i wanted to know, whoever i was, i was alive for a little while” and “mostly, i want to be kind” and “i want to say all my life i was a bride married to amazement” and “you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves” and “someday we’ll live in the sky” and “i want to love this world as thought it’s the last chance I’m ever going to get to be alive” and “have you too finally figured out what beauty is for? and have you changed your life?”
Time keeps moving along. This year my wife and i bought 6 acres of dream land. We're more involved in our community than ever. Things are good.
I don't really post here anymore, despite it being my longest running blog. But I may have a handful of followers still here that I thought I'd update.
In 2019 I met the coolest human and last summer we got engaged and this spring I'm going to marry them. I'm the happiest I've ever been even though life has thrown us some major curveballs over the last 4 years.
In 2020 we bought an RV and started a nomadic life together, we both sold our cars and quit our jobs and threw ourselves into a new and exciting life. Sadly, exactly a year into life on the road, we lost the RV in a fire, lost almost the entirety of our belongings, and started over in an emptied short school bus.
Last year we decided to take a different direction from nomadic life to exploring setting down roots. We've now been in AZ for over a year and are looking to settle here long term and throw ourselves into desert permaculture. As mentioned above, this year Ash and I will get married and work towards being able to buy our own little place together.
This summer I will be having my final transition surgery. Gender has been quite the journey over the last decade, but I'll be glad to finally have a surgery that I've been wanting since 2015. I'm glad it took as long as it did in the sense that just going and living my life really helped me settle on what exactly I needed out of lower surgery and helped me sort which procedures I actually need from it, and that looks different at 30 than I thought it might at 23.
My bottom line with this update is that I'm very happy and fulfilled and having a good life despite living in a dystopic world.
Laknám
I miss when everyone on my dash listened to Welcome to Night Vale so there’s be a good chance that on any ole day someone would reblog a quote that would grab me by the throat and forcibly ascend me to a higher plane where I understood myself and the universe better and with more kindness but also a little spook
“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present” are you kidding me this quote has propelled me through at least three emotional crises
“The desert seems vast, even endless. And yet scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow.” That quote literally got me through grieving my brother like WTNV goes HARD
A List of Some of My Favorite Quotes From This Insane Podcast:
“You are beautiful when you do beautiful things.”
“The present tense of regret is indecision.”
“We understand so much, but the sky behind those lights– mostly void, partially stars– that sky reminds us we don’t understand even more.”
“Be proud of your place in the Cosmos. It is small and yet it is.”
“Believe in yourself. You are an ancient, absent god, discussed only rarely by literary scholars. So if you don’t believe, no one will.”
“Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.”
“Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. That’s what love is.”
“Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?”
“When we talk about teenagers, we adults often talk with an air of scorn, of expectation for disappointment. And this can make people who are presently teenagers feel very defensive. But what everyone should understand is that none of us are talking to the teenagers that exist now, but talking back to the teenager we ourselves once were – all stupid mistakes and lack of fear, and bodies that hadn’t yet begun to slump into a lasting nothing. Any teenager who exists now is incidental to the potent mix of nostalgia and shame with which we speak to our younger selves.”
“We are not history yet. We are happening now. How miraculous is that?”
“Wednesday has been cancelled due to a scheduling error.”
“We have nothing to fear except ourselves. We are unholy, awful people.”
“A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A basilisk.”
“There’s nothing under your bed. There’s nothing in your closet. Nothing waits in every darkness. Nothing is the most terrifying thing of all.”
“The night sky is ten miles wide, eight miles deep, and floats three miles up. Its favourite food is grape jelly. It wants to be a drummer.”
“Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.”
“Ignorance might not actually be bliss, but it is certainly less work.”
“And now, a special report. Crocodiles: Can they eat your children? *YES.*”
“Lie down and look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs of yours and remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting. Don’t worry.”
“As long as I’m reminding myself things, I’m a good person, worthy of love – both from myself and others.”
“Guns don’t kill people! It’s impossible to be killed by a gun. We are all invincible to bullets and it’s a miracle!”
“Everything is exciting! Particularly existence. Existence is the most thrilling fact of all.”
“There is a monster under your bed. A monster at your window. A monster any place you imagine one. You project your monsters on the world.”
“You miss 100% of the bank robberies you don’t commit.”
“I like my coffee like I like my nights. Dark, endless, and impossible to sleep through. ”
“A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.”
“And now, the weather.”
I discovered this podcast at the beginning of high school, and let me tell you, it rewired my synapses.
Not only was it my first experience with positive LGBT representation, it was the show I clung to when everything else went to shit. Whatever was going on in my life, I knew I had this show in my corner, making me laugh, making me cry, making me feel okay about my place in the universe.
I owe the creators of this podcast more than I could express.
“the lights over the Arby’s” is such an intrinsically queer piece of writing that it hits me *hard* every time.
“Up top is where the bluebirds go, and the witching happens down below.”
“At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.”
2 of my favorite quotes to add to the pile real quick
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Collected Poems
Apes together strong (x)
NEW WHALE ??!!?
NEW WHALE DROPPED
On Shopping While Fat 2: Son of Fat
Just imagine a world full of beautiful stained glass windows which also generate electricity…
[Oxford Photovoltaics]
Photovoltaic bricks and glass are one of my favorite technological advancements and I can’t wait to see buildings covered in the stuff.
Clifford Prince King
police literally dragged disabled protestors out of the capitol when they were doing a sit-in for healthcare and teargassed + shot blm protestors marching for human rights but try to deescalate and take selfies w armed insurrectionists and people still want to act like the police don’t exist specifically to enforce oppressive systems
i’m not interested in anything anyone has to say abt terrorists breaking into the capitol if it doesn’t include race. don’t just call them trump supporters, don’t just call them right wingers, don’t just call them fascists and don’t imply the only reason they’re not getting shot dead and gassed like thousands of black protesters is because they’re trump supporters.
they’re white domestic terrorists. their whiteness lets them afford the privilege to strut past police and into the biggest government building in the entire country while holding rifles and machine guns. not their political ideology, their whiteness. say it all or shut the fuck up.
“I unlatched the shutters. The light was as intense as a love affair. I was blinded, delighted, not just because it was warm and wonderful, but because nature measures nothing. Nobody needs this much sunlight. Nobody needs droughts, volcanoes, monsoons, tornadoes either, but we get them, because our world is as extravagant as a world can be. We are the ones obsessed by measurement. The world just pours it out.”
— Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping (via luthienne)