Invisible, Inc. Captions

Fan microfiction based on Invisible, Inc. screenshots. Not currently updating but there are a lot of old posts.

[invisiblecaptions]

PEIA Agent 192: Are you sure this will work?

Olivia: Yes. The goose is exactly what we need to succeed against the corps — I mean lamps.

PEIA Agent 192: The goose is good, but it’s not invisible.

Olivia: I have never been so sure of anything in my life. It will work because it’s impossible.

Prism: Ugh, cliches.

Xu: Not to mention logical incoherency.

Banks: Is it weird that I’m not actually here?

Decker: I’ve experienced weirder.

Shalem: Look, if you want something done, send in a professional.

Sharp: Yes. Me.

Nika: Or me.

Draco: Who better to fight sources of light than a living incarnation of shadow?

Rush: No, you need speed. Duh.

Derek: I may regret saying this, but what about teleportation?

Monst3r: You will. Regret, that is.

Internationale: Debout, les lumières de la terre!

Incognita: Suggestion: Say the probability of A leading to the desired outcome is 0, and the probability of the same for B is 0.0001. Proving the value of B does not change the value of A. That is coherent.

Prism: But way too wordy for the vid biz.

Internationale: Incognita, can we talk some time?

Olivia: Everyone, shut up. I am going to try to wake up now.

Goose: Honk!

Olivia: That means you too.

[invisiblecaptions]

Lamp captain: Uh… you weren’t here when I stepped out ten seconds ago. How did you get in?

Courier: Ugh…

Lamp captain: Not you.

Prismatic lamp: Buddy, I’ve always been here.

Lamp captain: No, you weren’t. I… what… 

Prismatic lamp: I am the lamp that stands in this corner, providing illumination.

Lamp captain: No… this isn’t… I’m not the one who’s supposed to be hallucinating here!

Prismatic lamp: Chill out. Next you’ll be telling me that we aren’t really lamps or something.

Lamp captain: No… no… what is happening?

Prismatic lamp: Yeah, it is pretty weird. Not my usual revenge dream.

[invisiblecaptions]

Lamp: Wait, I just thought of something.

Other lamp: What?

Lamp: Now that I’m a lamp, I don’t need health insurance. I don’t have to work here!

Other lamp: Oh, so you’re one of those lamps that doesn’t need electricity, huh?

Lamp: …Damn.

Other lamp: And who do you think owns your bulb? You think they won’t take it right back?

Lamp: …I think I shouldn’t have read that pamphlet before going to bed.

[invisiblecaptions]

Guard: Is that a note on the floor? What’s it say?

Other guard: Can’t read. Am lamp.

Guard: Dude, stop pretending to be a lamp. It’s getting old.

Other guard: Flicker.

Guard: You can’t just say “flicker” …look, I’ll read it.

Other guard: Almost inaudible hum.

Guard: “I’m back for October but will be going on hiatus indefinitely after that.” What? Who wrote this?

Other guard: Not me. Am lamp.

[invisiblecaptions]

Decker: Well, I feel like taking about a month off.

Caption Writer: Yes, me too.

Decker: What?

Nika: Yes, you need rest.

[invisiblecaptions]

Internationale: Almost done. Then I’ll get over there and help you.

Banks: It’s fine, one of them’s paralyzed.

Internationale: Affirmative.

Banks: Of course Decker thinks the 40s were better. He was a kid.

Internationale: …Thanks. That’s a perspective I hadn’t considered.

Banks: Oh, and of course the trap of thinking within the terms of the nation-state. Wait, is it a trap or a cage?

Internationale: …Either one works.

[invisiblecaptions]

Nika: So you two are no longer arguing?

Decker: We’ve agreed it’s a difference of perspective. She thinks the glass is half full, I think it’s in pieces on the floor.

Nika: If the glass is broken, use it as a weapon.

Decker: Not sure if you’re trying to continue the discussion or not.

Nika: If the glass is intact, use it as a weapon. Throwing water in your opponent’s face can be a good distraction. If you have a bottle…

Decker: Now I’m even less sure.

[invisiblecaptions]

Internationale: Look, I’m not saying it’s good that many people are worse off since the Accord. I’m saying that the struggle isn’t any harder now than then, because states were never—

Decker: But it’s good that things are just as bad? Am I really the pessimistic one?

Internationale: It’s hopeful that the enemy isn’t really any stronger.

Decker: Because the enemy was always overwhelming?

Internationale: Yes! Now you’re getting it.

Decker: Great.

[invisiblecaptions]

Incognita: Enforcer drone hacked. I have saved you. Again.

N-Umi: I wonder why she likes modelling ants. Isn’t it too simple for her?

Central: Congratulations, now get out of there. By the way, Decker and Internationale are arguing again, and I have no confidence in that having changed by the time you get back.

N-Umi: Oh…

Xu: Wait, what’s this about ants?

[hekateras]

Prism, from Patterns In My Tea by Linenpixel

Instagram | Twitter | Artstation | Buzzly

[invisiblecaptions]

Not sure why I didn’t reblog this here before; I can’t believe my fanfic has art of it.

[invisiblecaptions]

Courier: You’re the… PEIA? Not sure I want to be… rescued by you.

Rush: Can we just leave him here? Is that a thing we do?

PEIA Agent 170: No. It’s not.

Courier: Ugh… I don’t… want…

PEIA Agent 170: No.

[invisiblecaptions]

Banks: Er… it’s okay, actually. He doesn’t see me. At least…

Prism: Got it. He doesn’t “see” you.

Banks: Internationale says it’s dangerous to think they might be on our side. So maybe he just doesn’t like this exec.

Prism: Or maybe he used to work in the vid business. They get really good at not seeing things.

[invisiblecaptions]

Nika: This was a mistake. See, I can admit that.

Incognita: This is the value of simulation.

Banks: That, and it’s nice and quiet in here.

Nika: Speak for yourself.

Guard: INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER!

Incognita: And that Central won’t let me have an ant farm. That was a joke. Resetting in 5, 4…

[invisiblecaptions]

Rush: Oh, so that’s what Central means when she says we should use distractions.

PEIA Agent 170: Yes.

Rush: …

PEIA Agent 170: …

Rush: Since I can tell you’re dying to ask, I guess I thought that we should start an argument among the guards or something.

PEIA Agent 170: Well, that could work. Possibly. But not now.

[invisiblecaptions]

Inspector: Great, here come the enforcers. Will they be better quality than the drones I get? Probably about fifty-fifty.

N-Umi: Well, oil and new diodes would help. With the drones.

Internationale: No comment on the enforcers.

N-Umi: Drones are like peace: if you think they maintain themselves, then you’re rich enough to have others maintain them for you.

Internationale: Wow.

N-Umi: You’re not the only one who has a clue, you know.

Internationale: I never said I was, but… look, just get out of there. We can talk later.

[invisiblecaptions]

Banks: Found a note on the floor.

Internationale: What does it say?

Banks: Hang on, need a moment for my translator aug to kick in. It has a weird bug where it takes longer with Uralic languages. Might be the brain damage, might be that Finnish daemon I met once. He was in a bad mood because it was winter.

Internationale: Banks, the note?

Banks: Got it. “Fuck you, my office has more lamps than yours.”

Internationale: I don’t think we need to take that one back to Central.

Banks: Agreed.

[invisiblecaptions]

Internationale: So, one of my least favorite types of exec. Not that I like any of them.

Decker: One of the ones who thinks they can reinvent the gun?

Internationale: How did you know? There’s no camera in there.

Decker: It’s not the first time you’ve ranked them in order of how much you hate them. In some of your lighter moments when you’re not talking about systems.

Internationale: …

Decker: Also he used to work for K&O.