Diary of a Former Econ Major in Unprecedented Era

If you are here from twitter, fk off please (unless of course you are willing to learn the ancient way).

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

It is a beautiful summer day, and I have an iced coffee so cold it makes my breath visible when I blow on it.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

IDK who told the men of this day and age that “I love you” is a pick up line, but whoever did deserves to be smacked with a fish.

“Is your name Indiana because I’m Jonesing for you.” Is a pick up line. Do you hear the difference???

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

Ngl the stale break room doughnut and crap instant coffee combo hits different when you’re in a suit.

[tackminyard]

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

[so-i-did-this-thing]

You can print in black & white without depending on any of the other color cartridges

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

New job! And the good news is my new coworkers are Slavic adjacent, from Chicago, or also have RBF so I don’t have to explain my face!

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

Screaming into the void because it’s 8 AM on a Friday and I’ve just been told that shit’s fucked and they lied to me about how much crap there was in the warehouse and now I have an upset spaghetti customer again

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

Really feeling Geralt of Rivia’s whole “I’ve lived through a whole dark age and three supposed end of days. It’s all horse shit.” energy right now.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

My current work life in a 10 second video.

(the bag popped after I put it in the dispenser and then the dispenser broke open)

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

I fucking hate it when you hear the standards and the odds and you think to yourself oh wow, that’s impossible and then somehow it gets pulled off. Like oops the bar does not need to be set there. The bar needs to be said fucking lower than that even though we managed to make it happen.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

If we are going to host an event in the one space with a plumbed toilet that is within walking distance from where you’ve stationed me, please tell me????

My boss is hosting this prestigious meeting thingy and I look fresh off the boat waltzing in to take a sh*t.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

“The most odious woman is here,”

Bestie, I’m sat. What’s the tea from the restaurant floor?

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

One of the funnier things that comes with working with almost exclusively a team of women is that we are in fact, cosmically aligned.

It is this specific cosmic alignment that means that we run out of tampons at the exact same time in all the work bathrooms.

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

Yes I work a 9-5. Yes it’s a small family business. Yes sometimes I need to move exorbitant amounts of ravioli so that I can fit my boss’s packages in the freezer. Why do you ask? 

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

Update: he got a new package labeled “biological hazard” and many other warnings including “live product” and “perishable.” And we had the following conversation:

… I still do t k ow what it is or when it’s leaving the fridge.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

I love walking my dog in the local park amongst all the daisies, and the fresh cut lawn, and the sliced dice pulverized pair of panties that no one knows where it came from, the half used vape in the dandelions, the dog poop people forgot to clean up…

just love it

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

There’s something so incredibly fun about showing up to work only to realize that you’ve been locked out of your enormous company provided Google account. Locked out by Google for getting hacked presumably by someone who works for Google. And it’s super fun when pretty much all of your job is done on the computer because it’s 2026.

[ipromiseimaneconomist]

If there’s one thing I can do, it’s fix a good drink. I’ve got it all covered: coffee, cider, cocktails, you name it, I’ll make it.