so there's this kind of a man, and you know the man exists, and you've had to talk to him. the weird thing about this man is that people pretend is rare, like a bird. but he is not rare, you know him personally. he is rare like mold: you know he's probably in more buildings than you would hope. you know this because have met him many times. he keeps finding you, despite all your best attempts to dodge him.
which is to say he is not rare. a few days ago i was out with friends and this guy we'd never met before had been shooting the shit with us and then just, like, completely unprompted: told us men gave women the right to vote. i just stared at him for the longest period of time, trying to figure out where it even fit into our conversation about flower species. someone else was faster with the response: who do you think took the right from us in the first place?
i complained about this man to my mom, who was raised in a different time. her advice is just ignore him. this is the advice we will usually get from other women, because he's bothering you because he likes you is still taught in schools. this is kind of the advice that we often have to give each other, too, because there isn't really another option. just roll your eyes. he sucks. i've had that experience too.
weirdly, every time i make a post that states just-honestly an experience i've been through, i usually have to deal with someone correcting me in the comments. this man is the exception to the rule.
except he is the rule, we just pretend he isn't, because if you state the fact - literally, just the fact that this man exists - people will argue with it. and that's annoying. i'm not even particularly making an outright feminist statement by pointing out the basic-fact-of-him. i have no idea how this ends up being political. roses are red. violets are native to cold northern areas. there are men out there that we have to be wary of.
he's been more common, lately. as someone who worked in environmental education, i am enthralled by this. is it because he has been allowed to exist outside of natural predation? or has he evolved more cunning tactics in order to survive the new era of social media? they travel in packs and claim to be persistence hunters, but i believe them to be more like very cruel opportunists. an invasive species hell-bent on also destroying the humanity of the thing that he is so wrought in consuming.
i want to live in the world other people see, where this man isn't-a-threat to my humanity. where he's just, like, that guy. he's awkward, sure, but you can handle the "cringe" factor. he's gonna make a weird "my gender is an attack helicopter" joke, but you can pat him on his head and offer him food like he's an angry raccoon. it's true that he has these, like, threat displays that are nasty and ugly. he makes one of those jokes, and the smell of it grinds conversation to a halt. it's literally never funny. if you point out to him it isn't funny, he will tell you it's women that aren't funny. and you just have to be like. okay, thank you for telling me. honey.
it's just that he keeps surviving. he keeps taking over conversations. he keeps expecting people to listen. and whatever tacit acceptance he gets allows him to spread. like mint, i guess. he doesn't get corrected by other men; he spends his weekend approaching my group of friends while we're taking a walk through the arboretum.
someone makes a post about how gross a guy is acting. you're making this up responses spill into her comments. someone makes a post about how gross a different guy is acting. this is just more of that feminist bullshit. someone makes a video about being followed around the city. this is clearly faked. someone makes a different video about being followed while she's in a different city. this is manipulatively edited, clearly. someone makes a post about being followed while they're out running. what did you expect? you can't dress like that, some people are just creepy.
the thing is that other men do know this man, they just think he's not really that bad. sure, he's basic, annoying. but it's like, just a personality trait thing. just ignore him.
i decide to get a breast reduction. the intake nurse i speak to twists his lips. are you sure? you have really great breasts. i know you're single now, but think about your future husband.
he is not rare. and this is not unusual. is the thing.
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