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hello!!!! i quote random things that i think are funny!!!! it may be things i’ve seen or heard!!! context may or may not be given!!:)

[iquoterandomthings]

“what’s that smell?”

“it’s my flesh. it’s burning.”

“it stinks”

“sorry”

[iquoterandomthings]

“bvee y-you donts habe to become prpperpreseident”

[iquoterandomthings]

“so it’s pokémon but people………. *gasp* TOONTOWN!!!!!

[iquoterandomthings]

“if my kitchen is infested with flys so instead of doing dishes i’m gonna kill them with a laser”

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

OBGYN: “Any changes to your medical history since last time?”

Me: “No. But I did catch a mouse today. By hand. That’s not related to my medical history but I did want to tell someone.”

OBGYN: “Oh. Gross. Think you could catch the fly that got into our office?”

Me: “Will you be proud of me?”

OBGYN: “….yes.”

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I like my OBGYN and I’m grateful that she considered my mousing skills and Bigfoot pussy talk to be normal thought content

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hand-catching mice is normal behaviour. Source: this OBGYN.

[iquoterandomthings]

“booberries”

[iquoterandomthings]

“sex sexy x-ray

statue of birds

ooo sexy wasps are back”

[iquoterandomthings]

“ope naked shrek”

[iquoterandomthings]

”ahhhh it’s a naked girl covered in mouths”

[iquoterandomthings]

“oH YEAH WELL YOU’RE A BIG BOOK LADY”

[iquoterandomthings]

*frantically* “WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT ALL OF MY PASTA FACTS!!!!!!!”

[confield]

Hey man is that a vase in your pocket or is it just two people looking at each other

[jame7t]

about to step into a wet shower AMA

[iquoterandomthings]

[greenlabcoat]

youre meal to me

[huffylemon]

[cetitanhasmoved]

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]