he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
cherry valley forever
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
@theartofmadeline
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
roma★
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
No title available
One Nice Bug Per Day
if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
No title available
Product Placement
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast
noise dept.
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Türkiye
@ireshiginami
Does anyone have this picture
But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title
I swear I have seen this before and I cannot for the life of me find it
This image?
YES
PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)
+ bonus italian navy vessel
Happy Pride!
Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions
I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
If this pops up while you’re scrolling, I wish you unconditional love and massive success.
Why does “falling in love” have pretty much exclusively romantic connotations it’s such a good phrase. I’ve fallen in love with every single one of my friends
This was such a smart post to make because every day I get to see people declaring their love for their friends in the tags. Such a simple but sweet “restoring faith in humanity” kind of thing. We’re all just little creatures who love our buddies <3
Alright so this post has gotten over 5,000 notes in a month and I think that means the consensus is that everyone loves their friends and you should tell them
Lmao we have to fucking destroy this company are you fucking kidding me with this shit
Google is transforming Search from a list of links into an AI-powered experience filled with conversational answers, autonomous agents, and
Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?
I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit
At 1 PM on a Friday I get an email from my boss. I'm busy as hell so I don't check it immediately. Then I get a phone call from my boss, which has almost never happened before. I'm a white collar worker, a historian. There's never a 'historical emergency' requiring a phone call to kick me in the ass and get to work.
The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.
It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.
The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.
This map required:
North and South Vietnam in it
All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated
Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)
Has Laos and Cambodia in it
Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it
So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'
I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.
Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.
The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.
The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc
At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"
My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond
good fucking god, jesus tap dancing goddamn christ, I'm glad I was asked to look at it and then find a real map
AI is wrong AT LEAST 10% of the time.
original by clairetablizo
@sepiamestus is this how it's supposed to be done
oh. oh dear.
uhm. yeah that.. that explains it.
forever a supporter of the dynamic that Dick is a dickhead older brother, but only specifically to Jason.
like, i feel like Jason was the only one he got to be a proper big brother too, rather than more of a mentor/guardian figure. when Jason was around he was barely even an adult, and Jason was a little shit of a pre-teen that gave as good as he took. Dick 100% was a piece of shit to him in the brotherly sense. with all the others though? after losing Jason and growing up and being the one that had to hold everything apart every time Bruce got lost in grief/a timestream or something, he is a completely different type of brother to the others than he is to Jason, and i think it would be funny to see the others slowly start to realise how different Dick's relationship is to Jason compared to the rest of them.
like, just the little things. they're all at the manor for a weekend and Dick makes Tim and Damian breakfast, ruffling their hair and sliding pancakes onto their plates. then Jason comes in and makes himself a piece of toast and Dick instantly jabs him in the ribs before stealing the food from his plate.
he always lets the others win at mario kart, chuckling easily whenever he's beaten at any game and actually seeming more proud at them for winning than sad for losing. then Jason picks up Damian's abandoned remote and suddenly he's all focus. snatching the player 1 remote and making Jason be player 2 and the two are literally trying to shove each other off the couch with how hard they're trying to beat each other. if Dick wins, you can hear his yells of mocking from across the manor. if Jason wins and he tries to say anything at all? Dick body slams him to the ground and they're fighting for a solid half an hour.
he steals Jason's shit all the time, and yet the one time Duke saw Jason walk into Dick's bedroom to borrow a shirt, Dick clocked it from down the hall and just yelled 'FUCK OUT MY ROOM' and Jason pivoted and left without even faltering in his movement, like he'd fully expected to be denied. it's worth mentioning that that very same day Tim asked Dick if he could borrow some socks and Dick told them all sincerely that they could go in and take whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. it's just Jason that isn't allowed, apparently.
for the record i think it goes both ways, and i think Jason is also the only guy who knows how to get under Dick's skin in that Specific Little Brother Manner. like that's his big brother, his only big brother. i think the others he either views as little kids to protect or just... random guys that were adopted while he was gone that he didn't even properly meet until he was an adult and out of the house, so he never really built a proper antagonistic sibling relationship with anybody else. Dick though? he pours salt into every glass of water he sees Dick drink out of. he steals his stuff. he stands just outside the doorway of Dick's room just so that when Dick yells for him to get the fuck out he can say 'i'm not in your room, you can't make me do anything'. he snitches on him to Bruce whenever he can, and whenever he figures out Dick has a crush on anybody he relentlessly tries to embarrass Dick in front of them.
anyway i just like to think about a Dick and Jason who are the only true childhood-brother pairs, and whenever they're in the same room for more than three minutes it shows. much to Bruce's everlasting exhaustion, because seriously how are these two still as bad as they were almost a decade ago??
Human reader on an alien 141 crew ship. You're an engineer, mostly for the ship, but you've learned a fair amount of weapons repair as well. The team enjoys having you around, mostly to study you, to learn more about human behavior.
"I'm a pretty bad reference." You joke one day during meal time, picking at your tray. "I'm autistic. That's already going to throw off your studies."
"Yes, but you're still human." Kyle insists, studying you with his eyes. You weren't sure where his eyes were, but you could feel them on you. "Humans are predators. My species are prey, and so is Simon." Simon lets out a sharp grunt, his form resembling what a snake looked like on your planet.
Only much larger.
"We are not prey. Ambush predator." Simon insists as he coils around your shoulders. He liked soaking up your body heat like a snake, too.
"Humans are endurance hunters. We're pretty far removed from using our instincts because of modern evolution, industrial revolution, all that. But they are still there." You explain as you finish your food, pushing your tray away.
"How can you be an endurance predator? You don't run." Johnny teases his fungal flower spiral opening and closing slightly. You'd learned quickly that his fungal growths worked almost independently of him, expressing his emotions for him.
"Want to see?"
Simon was fucking exhausted. The ship had two places for you that mimicked a human atmosphere. Your room and one that looked like a small forest with a lake. You hadn't run once, but every time Simon thought he had shaken you off, you would find him again. And again and again. For hours, he had tried to evade you.
He wound his way up a tree, high enough that he was sure you couldn't climb up and find him. He needed to sleep just for a few minutes, and then he would move. He woke to a soft rustling in the leaves beside him, body stiffening as he slowly opened his eyes.
"Hey, Si. Nice nap?"
Grace, explaining how humans evolved: yeah so basically we evolved to be persistance predators where we would just slowly walk towards our prey and track it until it got so tired it couldn't fight back or run away and then we killed it :)
Rocky, who is an Eridian, an AMBUSH predator, who can't see light and so cannot track things the way humans can, and that doesn't have a lot of stamina and literally won't be able to wake up once they fall asleep: grace what the fuck statement--
guess who just got an idea for a human trait that passes over to grace's eridian form in my eridian shifter au
i already knew about the persistence predator vs ambush predator thing and ive seen posts about it before but the wording of this one sparked an idea in my brain
because I have a handful of eridian traits that pass over to grace's human form, but not a lot the other way (aka like. maybe two. the whole surviving earth's atmosphere, obviously, and maybe object permanence/spatial memory). so now im imagining that grace's eridian form in my eridian shifter au retains slight changes to their body that allows them to act as a persistence predator and when everyone realizes this they're lowkey horrified
eridian shifter grace is just the terminator if they were a teacher, scientist, and clumsy
Human, holding both arms out and moving the hands up and down from the wrist as a stretch.
Alien: what are you doing?
Human: I’m stretching my arms because of my instrument.
Alien: ah yes, one of the human noise machines for sound segments. What has it done to cause such “stretching”?
Human: nothing, I just haven’t played up in 6th position much.
Alien: another one of these “positions”; you seem to have a lot of those for many things.
Human: yeah. But look. *picks up violin*. Normally I play here in first position, but some songs require me to go higher and this new piece has me going all the way up here.
They demonstrate by showing their hand first near the bottom of the neck of the instrument, and then over fingerboard closer to the instrument’s middle.
Alien: but why does this require the “stretching”?
pick whatever option the person you're following who reblogged this post didn't pick. if they didn't say in the tags what they picked or if you're seeing the original post and not a reblog, pick at random instead.
first option
second option
So here’s a thought: the strangest reverse kidnapping the Waynes have ever experienced.
So Tim gets kidnapped.
Makes sense. He is the CEO of Wayne industries. Of of the most notable Wayne children. His kidnapping is really no surprise. He gets kidnapped every other month.
But usually the kidnappers tie him up.
And take his phone.
And his laptop.
And lock the door.
And make it so he can’t just…y’know…leave.
And they especially don’t give him a very nice desk set up where he can continue his work unimpeded.
Bruce is confused.
Tim is confused and intrigued.
The kidnappers are by no means special. They aren’t any sort of costumed crook. They have no magic or powers. They are absolutely normal people.
Normal but smart people.
“Mr. Wayne, we have your son.”
“Which one?“
“The one who runs your business.“
“I see.”
“We want $10 million for his release.”
“I think you’ll find that Tim has already been subjected to multitude of kidnapping in the past. I am not concerned.”
“Oh, this one’s different.” The head kidnapper responded.
“It is different so far. I’m not tied to a chair and there’s no lock on the door. What’s to stop me from leaving?” Tim asks, bemused and gesturing to the aforementioned unlocked door with his again unbound hands.
“Because we have coffee.“ The kidnapper replies, gesturing to a rather fancy coffee setup with a freshly brewing French roast.
Tim immediately perks up.
“And for every hour that our demands are not met, we will give him a fresh pot of coffee with an increasing grade of caffeine.”
Ten seconds pass.
There is a “ding” from the kidnapper’s cellphone as the notification of the payment goes through.
The kidnappers blink.
“I’ll be honest. I didn’t expect that to work.”
Tim, who had taken advantage of this time to make himself a cup of coffee and already finished it, sets the empty cup down.
“I’ll double it to keep me.”
“Tim!”
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
Will someone please tell me how it eats a moose or a polar bear??? For the love of god before I have nightmares???
Sometimes animals go in water for swim
Sometimes animals not come out again
Hope this helps <3
Really funny to think about the knowledge gap Eridians and humans are going to have about each other the next time they make contact due to Grace spending the rest of his life on Erid (plus all the information aboard the Hail Mary, and especially the laptops Stratt put basically entire internet on!)
Eridians are going to have a fairly solid grasp of the English language (and possibly even some others), an intimate understanding of the environmental conditions a human needs to thrive as well as their nutritional and psychological needs, a solid grasp of a number of scientific concepts discovered by humans, and decent familiarity with human culture and customs (if probably an American-centric one). Some Eridians might even be explicitly trained as diplomats or ambassadors with the expectation that one day the two cultures might interact more regularly.
Whereas humans are like. Well. There sure are talking rocks in space somewhere!
Whereas humans are
like. Well. There sure are talking
rocks in space somewhere!
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Humans Are Weird compared to other aliens because all of their elements they needed for instellar/intergalatic travel are present on their worlds already but we have to invent our own
Alien: what do you mean you created- you cant just INVENT new elements, thats now how this works!
Human Scientist: Well, its not easy, but we made a bunch of them, like time crystals!
Alien: what in the name of the gods of sshlao are time crystals.
Human Scientist: this! (Shows off time crystal)
Alien: ??????????????
Alien: thats not even a real object! How is that an element???
Human Scientist: we dont know, but quantum computing works a lot better with them there!
Alien: YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THEM?
SkyJade fans: we don't talk enough about how absolutely deranged the year 10ABY was for Mara Jade specifically.
Because at the end of the Thrawn campaign (~9.5ABY), Luke gives her his father's lightsaber.
Which he treats as a normal coworker interaction / gentle encouragement to join his Jedi Academy.
This is, for the record, COMPLETELY INSANE behavior.
Sir. This woman VERY recently had an inescapable psychic kill command for you lodged in her skull courtesy of the Emperor. And your response to resolving this situation is apparently:
“Here, take my dead father’s laser sword.”
:)
Luke is operating on spiritually earnest farmboy logic here, but Mara — who is bad at emotions in general and especially bad at affection directed at herself — is nevertheless, like many women, dimly aware of this thing called BOUNDARIES and decides maybe she should not immediately go do Jedi training with the incredibly intense blond man handing her meaningful family heirlooms after one shared military campaign.
Now, the Doylist explanation for all of this is obviously that the EU authors in this era were barely coordinating.
But the Watsonian result is hysterical.
Because while the rest of the cast is dealing with assorted disasters with the Imperial Civil War and Dark Empire Trilogy, Mara quietly kriffs offscreen to pursue Jedi training.
Not with Master Skywalker.
No.
With Kyle Katarn.
And if you know the timeline, this is SO funny because circa 9.5–10ABY Kyle is basically an independent-study self-certified Jedi Master whose primary qualifications are:
surviving
owning a lightsaber
and aggressively tomb raiding Sith ruins
This is peak Jedi Knight era Kyle. His entire educational and life philosophy is basically, “I found this in a crypt and it probably won’t kill me.”
So Mara, in an effort to avoid one emotionally complicated Jedi, accidentally apprentices herself to another Jedi whose emotional range is approximately that of a very honorable brick.
And naturally this culminates in Mysteries of the Sith, where Kyle immediately gets too cocky poking around Sith artifacts on Dromund Kaas and falls to the dark side.
Which means poor Mara spends her gap year dragging THIS IDIOT back from corruption.
(Should this perhaps have given her an early warning sign about the Exar Kun situation brewing at Luke’s Academy in the Jedi Academy Trilogy? You would THINK.)
But WAIT. Because this is ALSO the year of Dark Empire, my very favorite and absolutely deranged year of the Legends timeline.
So imagine this from Mara’s perspective.
You flee the emotionally earnest not-quite-love-interest Jedi by going to study under another Jedi who immediately starts having Sith Artifact Problems.
And then somewhere in the middle of this nonsense you get the news bulletin:
“By the way, Luke Skywalker got yoinked away by some kind of inexplicable Force storm and has apparently resurfaced as the military commander of the Reborn Emperor’s Operation Shadow Hand.”
And Mara’s just standing there like:
“... the REBORN WHAT.”
So during the events of Mysteries of the Sith, Mara successfully drags Kyle back from the dark side through what is, functionally, the Power of Friendship.
Like yes there are Sith artifacts and Force visions and actual mechanics involved, but emotionally the plot is basically:
“Kyle, stop licking cursed tomb walls.”
“No.” *lick*
“Kyle PLEASE.”
And somehow it works.
So Mara presumably exits this experience going:
“Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. I have now personally managed one emotionally constipated Jedi man having Sith Problems. Time to go talk down or put down Skywalker.”
And she’s probably mentally preparing herself for the world’s worst intervention road trip.
Like:
“Apparently if I don’t supervise Jedi personally they start freebasing Sith artifacts within thirty business days.”
Except then she gets back and —
Oh.
Luke already came back with his sister's help.
Apparently it was a phase.
Wonderful.
Excellent.
I DON’T have to solve every problem myself.
But then the VERY NEXT YEAR, 11ABY, the New Republic looks at this man — this VERY RECENTLY RECOVERED FROM A SITH APPRENTICESHIP man — and decides:
“Yes. We should give him government support to found a religious boarding school for Force-sensitive children.”
Insane institutional decision-making.
And Luke, who has learned absolutely nothing about normal interpersonal pacing, immediately circles back around to:
“Hey Mara :)
“do you want to come train at my Jedi Academy :)”
SIR.
From her perspective you vanished into evil hyperspace weather, joined your dead fascist dad’s evil wizard cult, and got government funding to open a school less than a year later.
And maybe the craziest part is that she STILL eventually marries him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
