july 29th 2026: the hudconpocalypse
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july 29th 2026: the hudconpocalypse
#the shadow acting as bars of a prison cell forcing ilya to hide himself in russia vs the overflowing of light at shane's cottage that allows him a place to be free and completely himself
hey nevermind theyāre both massive iām going to Die
probably not where they were going but would be really funny if it was
HUDCON HEALING ARE UPON US
HUDCON REUNION š
thinking about how ilya is so soft with shane. shane that pushes and pushes and pushes himself, boy with a body like a machine, all efficiency and discipline. he hasnāt grown up used to physical affection. and ilya comes and touches him like itās second nature, cradles his face, holds his jaw, fucks him hard, fucks him soft. runs his hand through his hair, kisses his inner thigh, rubs his back, runs his hand down the nape of his neck, over his spine, kisses his foot. massages the back of his neck, brings him back to center. palms the back of his head like heās something precious. the soft animal of his body that ilya loves.
I'm gonna be honest, I fuck with a movie that's all about the collapse of a society that perpetuates certain morals and laws that itself is not willing to uphold when it comes to interacting with the rest of the world.
The Greeks used the excuse of a woman and the war of gods to wage war with an economic competitor, then showed up on their enemy's shores and broke their own laws of hospitality to win the war and ransacked the city and its people. The story of those actions traveled the world, making everyone afraid of the "people from the sea," even the Greeks who WERE the people from the sea.
The suitors cried about the laws not being upheld for them but were unwilling to uphold them themselves. The same society was terrified of this invisible enemy that would invade because of their lack of morals, unaware that THEY are the ones who broke the laws first. They are their own boogeyman. The fear of foreignors was never about the actions of foreignors but their own actions.
The gods haunt the narrative as an ideal. If they were confirmed real, then this movie becomes a warning against breaking away from "the correct religion." Instead, it is a warning of how mutual care and respect for your fellow man, whether gods exist or not, is the backbone of society, and without it, morality becomes something to twist and fear monger.
The gods couldn't exist in this adaptation, so a lot of the plot points involving the gods had to be changed or left out. "Nobody" only matters if Odysseus doxxes himself for poseidon to punish. (The crew members insisting that they definitely heard the cyclops say posiedon and jumping to the conclusion that he was poseidon's son and they were cursed was a great change in my opinion.) The wind bag can only exist if the gods exist. Athena can only guide Telemechus and Odysseus if the gods exist. ("Athena" potentially only being Odysseus's guilt for the preistess he let die who only shows up in times where his actions in Troy are thematically important was *chef's kiss*.) The Trojan War is only a war sanctioned by the gods if the gods exist. Odysseus being stuck with Calypso for so long needs another reason (the lotus) if it's not by the will of the gods. What would Circe and Calypso be like if they weren't eternal goddesses? Did the crew go to Hades, or did they just perform a spell that raised the dead?
Magic and Monsters can still exist without the gods, and everything else can be explained by superstition, nature, and bad luck. The ideal of the gods haunt the narrative so wonderfully.
I'm not a fan of Nolan's directorial aesthetic, but for the themes he wanted to explore, I think this was a fantastic retelling of the original. Accuracy isn't and shouldn't always be the goal. Sometimes, taking an existing story and making something new in order to speak to a different aspect of humanity is all we can really hope for.
This doesn't mean people HAVE to like it. There are plenty of "good" movies that I do not enjoy watching. However, acting like it's an objective thing to say that this was a failure of an adaptation is very annoying. It's a subjective opinion of art.
thinking about how āshanebugā could have been baby shaneās nickname from david and yuna. specifically thinkingās about fat baby shane who is now fat toddler shane and is obsessed with bugs and loves toddling around with a little antenna headband on, and for halloween insisted on being dressed up as a ladybug!!! and he was so excited about the costume he kept wanting to wear it every day everywhere all the time!! years and years later shanebug has been mostly retired as a nickname (though a teary-eyed david definitely hugged him tight and said āso proud of you shanebugā when shane was drafted, and yuna whispered a āoh my poor little shanebugā while running her fingers through shaneās hair as he slept in his hospital bed after his broken collarbone and concussion.) but one day ilya and shane are over at the hollander family home and the photo albums are out and this one is of shane in his peak shanebug era and ilya looks at the photos of a happy sleepy toddler shane, freckles just starting to appear on his face, in his ladybug costume after halloween clutching his little trick or treat pumpkin filled with candy and cries at how cute he is. he then proceeds to call shane his ladybug in russian and kiss him all over his face while shane laughs and the name joins his list of pet names he uses on shane
i think what makes me go cuckoo bananas reading the long game is that like the whole time itās like shane has a lot of anxiety and paranoia about being outed and itās putting a strain on his relationship, and then they do get outed and everything does ultimately work out⦠but also he was literally right because everything he was worried about ended up happening and thatās under explored within the book
yes itās a happy ending and shane and ilya get married and ottawa is a better team to be on, but it also is yet another point in contention for the claim that shane is less aware of the issues of the league, considering he was scared and was right to be scared because what he was scared of literally happened
why is there an upgrade button on gmail. why does twitter want me to scan my palm to get into my account. why is google a chatbot. why does the transit app make a transit app wrapped for me. why does youtube keep shoving its infinitely scrollable shortform content down my throat. why do my doctor and psychiatrist and therapist want to use an ai notetaker during our appointments. why do free trials want my credit card number. why are most scholarship websites just data brokers. how do i make capitalone stop sending me mail. why is my school making its own special chat gpt powered chatbot. why is every third video on instagram an undisclosed ad. why is nothing online real anymore. why is everything so FUCKING STUPID
taps sign NO FACE JOURNEYS! got inspired by this post by @boitterfly
oh my godddddd heās just a lil shanebug I wanna put him in a jar and tap on it lightly to get his attention and then see him bitch stare at me for the intrusion
before dick and kisses
after dick and kisses
from š¾ to š: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy
after dick no kisses
the cens rookies squad has a tiktok acc that they post random shit on and it lowkey only catches on to a few hockey enthusiasts, until they did a video like things my captain and alternate do that make us believe in love and they take turns telling random hollanov stories.
think, oh once when weāre picking up take outs and my captain bruised his shoulder and my alternate doesnt let him carry the bags, my captain straight up said why arenāt you holding my hand and my alternate fucking SMILES AND APOLOGISES,
or whenever we go out late at night and my alternate is feeling tired my captain tucks him under his arms and sometimes my alternate falls asleep in the middle of a pub
anyway the video blows up to the non-hockey side of tiktok and everyoneās like omg theyāre so cute i wonder who they areā ohmygod theyāre the hockey gods