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I can’t do this anymore

#the obsessing and depression and dwelling #I havent felt like this in years #everything sucks #I need to get out of this godforsaken app and this godforsaken cycle of pain that im putting myself through #for someone who wont even talk to me.#no #im moving into that townhouse #im moving on #ill figure it out from there I guess but my grace period is over #back to hailey the bitch.#im a bitch #but you knew that I guess #fuck this and fuck you #was I not supposed to be angry? was I not supposed to figure my shit out?#was I supposed to fight for you?#I dont know cristian and im tired #you noticed the bruce right? like bruce banner #because you get angry and wreck things.#haha I guess I do too #thats probably why we made such good friends.#past tense I guess #why the fuck not #i wish you luck #if you dont want me you better be sure. I cant do this twice.#once was too much

haileybooks-blog

irlquote-blog

Life may or may not be about finding true love but it’s certainly not about begging for it from someone.

So I’ll keep doing what I do: late nights, fat blunts, pizza pies with my crew, driving home from whatever bar is half off after two while I’m blasting my tunes, and seeing my favourite local bands at whatever venues.

#while you keep doing the things you do.#shifiting blame #twisting truth #and making absoutely positively sure that everybody in the room is certian the vitcim just had to be you

haileybooks-blog

irlquote-blog

My own lessons been learned

Bridges been burned

I couldn’t turn to anyone

Down for the night

Buried alive

mercedesbenzodiazepine

Why is it always something?

Like it’s literally always fucking something…………….I can’t go a week without there being something

Why do I keep letting people matter to me?

haileybooks-blog

There’s a guy at work that reminds me of you. He’s probably gay and definitely deaf and you’re neither of those things but something about him brings you to my mind.

Car rides remind me of you. Where we were going what we had planned. It’s sucks because I drive everywhere.

Home reminds me of you. You used to be a part of it. It’s like I can’t escape all these stupid reminders of you.

Laughing reminds me of you.

Tv shows we used to watch.

Jokes we used to make.

It isn’t until I stare up at the sky in utter annoyance at how many things you’ve left your mark on that I can’t escape from and how many ways you refuse to leave me after doing just that, that I realise… I guess I miss you.

Love had left her screaming at the screen And it’s understood that the both of us are no good And I’ll always be that short little gloat Always clearing his throat like he ever had something to say

#Amanda

#reed

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