eyes of a blue dog @tiddybarfofficial - Tumblr Blog

femmchantress

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

koiagain

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

gentlyorbiting

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

jewelcoatfish

hollanov taking an after game interview together because of plot convenience reasons and ilya was chirping the opposing team about their first line points per game being barely scraping 0.4 when shane tapped his arm lightly and ilya leaned towards him. all the reporters perk up because omg are we gonna see shane hollander disciplining ilya rozanov live???? this is TEA. and ilya just nodded and said

“apologies, my husband wanted to correct that their first line pgp was 0.34. which was more pathetic than i originally assumed.”

#i don't go here but actually this is funny as fuck as a chirp

hyenaswine

i added some weird new hoops to my shop!

lakevida

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

fairycosmos

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

json-derulo

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

json-derulo

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

json-derulo

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

json-derulo

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

json-derulo

elliespectacular

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

hyenaswine

terfs are mad at me for explaining a very basic feminist belief because their whole philosophy is bioessentialist & anti-intersectional. in case you were confused. however i've been a feminist & been doing the readings since longer than many of them have been alive, so. let's just say i'm not shaken.

hyenaswine

radical feminists HATE material analysis of the world around us, because their shit immediately collapses. it doesn't hold up or make sense in the real world. which is, yknow, the one where we all live.

adamtotscomix

asidewalksymphony

hyenaswine

for years my personal style motto has been, "before you leave the house, look in the mirror & add one more accessory, just to piss off the nazi ghost of coco chanel."

thebibliosphere

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

anglaised

orientalism in weaboo culture is not taken seriously at all which ya makes sense but its crazy how many ppl form their identities or sense of selves from pretending to be little asian girls or anime boys and then see like no issue with sexualizing Japanese middle school uniforms or real asian women in general and ur just like. not supposed to mention its racist or else ur evil as if the behavior of tying asian races to a third gender babywoman uwu Creature isn’t incredibly fucked

anglaised