incorrect tw quotes

i have literally no idea what i am doing. enjoy.

[isaachrs]

scott: fuck, marry, kill. me, lydia and allison

stiles: marry lydia, fuck you i guess, and kill isaac

isaac: i wasn’t even an option what the fuck

[isaachrs]

stiles in the car with scott: mcdonals! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!

scott: we have my food at home? why would you even?

stiles, muttering: i hate this family

———

stiles in the car with lydia: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!

lydia: [pulls into drive thru]

stiles: [cheering]

lydia: one black coffee please

———

stiles in the car with liam: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!

liam: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!

[isaachrs]

lydia: what do you think the height of stupidity is?

scott: dunno, hey stiles how tall are you?

stiles: same height as you bitch.

[isaachrs]

scott: what’s your life motto?

isaac: single and ready to mingle

stiles: bi and ready to die

[isaachrs]

stiles: I’m going to taco bell, do you guys want anything?

malia: I want my family back

stiles: ya I’ve got 12 bucks...

[isaachrs]

lydia: so what’s the best way to a man’s heart?

allison: between the fourth and fifth rib. that’s where i usually go. i’ll put a twist at the end if i want to make sure.

lydia: why did i even bother

[isaachrs]

kid: dad why is my name allison?

stiles: because your mother and I really loved our friend

kid 2: what about me?

stiles: thats enough questions roscoe bat!

[isaachrs]

scott: alright, good. thanks dad.

scott: why is everyone laughing?

lydia: you just called derek dad. you said ‘thanks dad’

scott: what? no i didn’t. i said ‘thanks man’

derek: do you see me as a father figure scott?

scott: no, if anything i see you as a bother figure cause you’re always bothering me.

stiles: hey! show your father some respect

[isaachrs]

*liam ignores stiles*

stiles: you’re giving me the silent treatment?

stiles: finally.

[isaachrs]

stiles: toss me my keys

*CRASH*

stiles: I said my keys!

liam: I thought you said printer

stiles: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY PRINTER?!

[isaachrs]

allison: *holds door* after you

lydia: no, after you

allison: i insist, after you

stiles: *pushes past both* after me

[isaachrs]

stiles: ah, having your annual ‘everyone thinks stiles is a lunatic’ meeting, are you?

isaac: it’s biannual. and no, this is not that meeting

[isaachrs]

stiles: *holds up 2 ties* which one? I have a big meeting today

lydia: both are nice

[lydia calls later]

lydia: how’d it go?

stiles: well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster

[isaachrs]

stiles: what’s it called when you kill your friend?

scott: murder

stiles: homiecide

[isaachrs]

lydia: you have to apologize to theo

malia: fine. unfuck you or whatever

[isaachrs]

judge: how do you plead?

derek: *looks at stiles*

stiles: *mouths* 'not guilty'

derek: hot milky

stiles: *bangs head on desk* ffs just lock him up

[isaachrs]

[ lydia gets a prank call ]

person: i'm watching you

lydia: ...

lydia: so do i look good or?