In case anyone had any doubts about the type of account this is. Here I love space, and the LGBTQIA+ and two-spirit communities. And I don't tolerate Hate or TERFs.
Work frustration under the cut. Skip if you want/need to.
I've been at my job over two years. My quality scores are consistently the highest score, my evaluations are almost always 100%. I have member compliments all the time on my comportment and ability to engage and make people feel welcome. I've been asking to shadow at other departments and cross train for the entire time I've worked here and I found out at the beginning of this week that someone who hasn't been here more than 9 months got chosen to do all those things instead of me. This is after I had applied some months back for a different position in records and found out they had already chosen someone else but they couldn't take back my interview time so they wasted my time with a useless interview.
I have felt defeated and foolish this entire week. Why am I even trying when it doesn't matter how hard I work? Why don't they just tell me I won't ever be anything other than the position I have now instead of dangling that hope in front of my face like a sadistic ass.
I'm so glad it's Friday because this entire week has been clouded with my anger and frustration with this supposedly great company to work for.
If I didn't desperately need this job I would quit and work somewhere else. Because this shit is ridiculous.
On the 18 hour Enshitification of our beloved hell site:
I tried my hardest to remain out of the conversation with staff about that thrice cursed "feature" because I knew for a fact I wouldn't be nice. I knew for a fact that I would have verbally eviscerated every single idiot who had a hand in that bullshit. And knew that it wouldn't be helpful. I also knew that I would probably be so angry at that that I would have likely caught a ban.
That being said... @staff Stop. Trying. To. Ruin. Tumblr. With. Bullshit. Y'all have one damned job and it is to keep this site running properly. Your job isn't to give this site "features" that make the site unusable and drive even more people off here. Your job isn't to screw up a perfectly working website with Algorithms or AI slop horse shit and Tumblr version of reels or shorts or wtf ever y'all call that.
Leave. It. Alone. Except. To. Keep. It. Running. Properly.
If you wanna be helpful get the Nazis off this website. Get the bullies off this website. Get the bots off this website. Maybe protect the artists and writers here from AI scraping our hard work for the AI slop generators.
Maybe protect artists from the pearl clutching ban on adult themes.
And maybe, just maybe, stop trying to fucking monetize every god damned thing under the fucking sun. We aren't on here for fucking ads or algorithm fueled bullshit.
A/N: Mention of hard feelings about returning to a bad place. No real other warnings.
Gauge has the boys help her close up her father's house. This chapter is long.
The kiss left Gauge's face hot but she managed to calm herself on the rest of the walk back to the hotel. They returned to find the boys watching television. Johnny having dozed off at some point. The positively insane breakfast had contributed to him passing out on the couch, half draped in Simon's lap. The larger man not minding in the least.
"How did it go?" A question from Kyle whenever they got back into the adjoined suites. When he got an answer in the positive he grinned and shifted to get up. Knowing they had to go to the house now. Simon nudged Johnny and woke him.
Soon enough they were loaded into the rental and Gauge was driving them along to their destination. Even with not having been back here since she enlisted, the way to her father's house was burned into her brain. The area the place was in hadn't changed a hell of a lot. Except for the Walmart being built on the main drag near where the house was.
It had pushed out the smaller mom and pop stores she had recalled being there. But the ratty corner store/gas station was still there. Hanging on because it sold fuel and cigarettes and dubious types of deep fried meat and beer. She just bet the same people still owned it and ran it. At some point, it seemed, someone had attempted a paint refresh.
The boys paid close attention to the route. It was just how they were. Simon was riding shotgun this time. Low key minding Gauge's behavior the closer they got to their destination. It didn't take too long honestly. Maybe 20 odd minutes from downtown.
Gauge drove them down a mostly kept road. Which had been just a gravel mess when she had fled from here in the middle of the night and enlisted first thing the next morning. It had been asphalted sometime in the years she had been gone. There were a couple of new trailers on the road and once they reached the end of the road it dead ended into what was her father's house.
She parked and turned off the SUV and stared at the place. A short, squat faded paint house. A sagging front porch and peeling paint. What had originally started out as a vibrant blue was now faded to a greyish hue. Gauge stared at it for a long moment before she got out of the car. Fishing the house keys the lawyer had given her during their meeting out of her pocket.
It was quiet out here. No noise from the main road. And the neighbors down the road either weren't home or simply staying to themselves. It looked exactly like she had left it.
"Let's get this over with." Gauge muttered, walking up the steps and across the porch she swore she wouldn't ever see again. And got the door unlocked. Pushing the door open carefully.
Simon had heeled her, and stood right behind her when the door opened. He clocked the subtle shift in Gauge when the stale smell of the house hit her nose. No one had been in here since her father had been carted off in the ambulance. So it was a bit stuffy. Once over the threshold, a quiet tension filled the woman. Nothing had really changed here. The furniture had but that was about it. The same worn carpet in the living room. The yellowed linoleum in the kitchen. The cigarette burned countertops.
Gauge moved from window to window once inside and opened every single one. And even went so far as to open the back door in the kitchen. "Where d'ya wanna start, luv?" A quiet question from Simon as he caught her gaze when she came out of the kitchen. Watching her closely.
"Ought to clean out the kitchen first. And just work to the front of the house." If she didn't give herself time to think too much, this would go okay. A nod from Simon and he moved into the kitchen. Price took the bathroom. Johnny hunted down bags for the contents of the fridge and the drop in freezer wedged into the space next to the open kitchen door. Kyle got after the garbage can outside and wheeled it to the back stoop so they could put the trash directly into the can after bagging it.
She opened the fridge and sighed softly. More beer than food. Which she was expecting but had sort of hoped she would find more food than booze. And so it went. Gauge handing out bottles and Johnny emptying them down the sink. And then tossing them into the smaller kitchen trash can which had a fresh bag in it. Once it was full Simon took it and threw the bag into big can by the kitchen stoop.
Kyle quietly helped Price in the bathroom. There had been a lot of grime but not a ton of stuff. So they threw out the stuff and cleaned the bathroom. Price knew good and well she would likely sell the place. The lot it sat on was just a little over perhaps half an acre. And would be sold with the house.
Gauge cleaned as she went. Once a shelf was empty in the fridge she wiped it down. Simon got after the cabinets. Not a whole hell of a lot in there. A single set of dishes that had definitely seen better days and a criminally small amount of canned goods. Most of which were either out of date or close to it. Those went. The dishes boxed up in a stray box he had found by the kitchen door.
The kitchen and bathroom were done rather quickly. It wasn't a professional deep clean but it would be enough for now. The deep freezer proved to be full of freezer burnt, long ago rendered inedible mess. That too was tossed and the freezer set to defrost.
Gauge moved wordlessly to the first door off the kitchen on the left and paused. This had been her bedroom growing up. The door was ajar and she pushed it open with her foot. She had expected it to have been turned into a spare room or a storage space but it was exactly as she had left it when she had run away. Not a single thing touched. And that was the worst possible thing to find. A layer of dust on everything, but otherwise the same.
The bed rumpled as she had left it, the laundry still in the hamper. The dried flowers in a vase on the dresser from the one and only time she had gone to a school dance with a boy she'd had a crush on in 10th grade. The yellowed picture of her and what had been her best friend in high school taped on the mirror. Gauge knew she had ended up with the boy who had taken her to the dance in sophomore year. They lived in the next county over.
She swallowed thickly and moved into the room without a word. Everything that had mattered to her in this space had come with her when she had run away. The handful of books she had gotten from the free bin at the school library. As many clothes as she could fit in the suitcase she'd had. She stood there in the middle of the room and said nothing. That brittle tension she had carried the rest of the day she had found out her father had died was back. Leaving her pale and rigid.
Simon stood in the doorway, watching her. His dark eyes focused and intense. "How d'ya want this here?" He was certain this room being left as it was, had to be difficult for her. Memories were powerful, especially when nothing changed. He knew this from personal experience.
"Not a lot to be doing. Bag up what's left in here and toss it." She looked up at Simon, hand twitching a little at her side. "I'm gonna tend to the living room." She moved to the door and Simon stepped aside for her. He didn't need to say anything. Gauge knew that he understood. He nodded and once she was in the living room, he got Johnny to help him in here. Armed with several garbage bags. The Scot had managed to remain in good spirits and he talked quietly to Simon while they worked in her old bedroom. Opening dresser drawers and removing the contents and bagging it up. Same with the closet. He and Simon, however, had a whole conversation with just looks and gestures as they packed up the remains of a life left behind. On the top shelf of the closet, Simon found a single stuffed animal. Johnny spied it and frowned and wiped the dust off of it. That got set aside. He didn't have the heart to throw it out. And it seemed to be the only thing in here that might be wanted.
While they did that, Gauge moved to the living room and wordlessly picked a corner and radiated out from there. Trashing basically everything. Papers, bottles, cups. Anything that wasn't furniture was bagged up. Kyle and Price assisted. Quietly asking clarifying questions now and again on something they found to be sure it wasn't important. They filled up the large trashcan pretty quickly. It eventually left only the man's bedroom to be done and Gauge stood at the open door of that room for a long moment.
"...Nothing in here needs to be kept. But I need some air." They had been working for some time now without a break. Gauge moved swiftly from the house and out the front door to go stand by the car. Having reached the end of her tether with this.
Kyle, at a nod from Price, went out to talk to her. He, Simon and Johnny silently tackled the man's bedroom. Moving as one to systematically strip the space of clothing and effects, such as they were, and bedding and trash. Under the bed in a box, they found a positively old photo album and what looked to be old military medals. Price set those aside after looking at a couple of pages of the photo album. It seemed to be pictures of a much older man than her father and a woman and such. Likely her grandparents. Something like that, Gauge might want.
They finished that room and wrangled a second bin outside for the last of the bags that wouldn't fit in the first can. And they set both cans where it looked like they were to be picked up on trash day.
Kyle remained with Gauge. Having opened the back of the SUV and sat in the back with her. Just keeping her company. Not making her talk if she didn't want to. It was now well past lunch time and they were all feeling a little grubby from being in the dusty, nicotine stained house. Simon closed the windows and secured them and the kitchen door and Johnny and Price came along out after Simon. Secured the front door. The older man having brought the photo album and the couple of military medals with him to give to Gauge.
"What's that?" A gesture to what Price had in hand. Not expecting anything like that. Knowing it couldn't be from her father.
"Looks like pictures of your grandparents. Medals are probably your grandfather's. Figured those didn't need t'be tossed." Price said plainly. Offering the items to her. He was aware that she might not have known her grandparents really at all. And even if it was after the fact, this would probably be the only things she wanted from here.
Gauge spied the stuffed animal in Johnny's hand and made a soft noise at seeing it. "...Where did you find that?" A question even as she reached for it.
"...top of the closet behind a box in your old room." He handed it over, instantly glad he had saved it from being tossed out when he saw Gauge clutch it close even though it really needed a good washing.
"Thought this was gone a long time ago..." Was all she would say about it. "Can we go? Food and showers need to happen." Really she wanted to go back to the hotel and take a scorching shower and order a giant pizza and watch shitty television.
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