I can track my emotional state not by actually paying attention to how I feel (imagine) but by tracking how much I talk about sterek on my socmeds. The ultimate comfort ship (they don't know what happiness means)
Nogitsune!Stiles AU where he and the Nogitsune make a sort of deal where the spirit mostly lets Stiles live his own life, almost like he were a normal Kitsune and not possessed by one, under the condition that Stiles has to keep feeding him/causing pain and chaos.
And for a couple of years is easy, life in Beacon Hills it's pretty chaotic on its own and it doesn't get better with his dreams of working in the FBI.
He has a wild and adventurous relationship with Derek and it's working great for them to move from one place to the other chasing the next thrill and danger.
Especially now that they don't have to worry about Stiles's wellbeing that much (beyond keeping the Nogitsune pleased) since he's supernatural now.
Until the day that Eli is pretty much dropped in their front door, and Stiles saw the yearning in Derek's eyes, yearning for a life where he could settle down and be at peace, stop fighting and focus on nurturing a new family, like he always wanted.
And Stiles wants that too, deep in his heart, under the memories of the home cooked dinners while his mother was alive, and all the time he missed his father. He wants to grow a new family too, with Derek by his side-
But Stiles can't settle down. He can't have the normal, peaceful, domestic life Derek wants to have with Eli. He has to keep feeding the monster inside him, least it thinks Stiles is not following their deal and decides to bring the chaos and pain again on its own.
But he also can't ask Derek to not have the life he so obviously wants. He thinks Derek might do it. That if Stiles asks, he'd drop Eli somewhere else and skip town to their next problem and adventure.
But he can't ask that, he refuses to be selfish like that.
So he leaves instead, never closing communication in case they needed him, but far away enough where Derek wouldn't be able to easily find him. That way he could be happy with Eli and they could safe.
Meanwhile Derek is in his new home, waiting for Stiles to come back home, to them, to him. Because the life he yearned for always included him.
And he spends every second worrying about where he is, how he is, who is making sure he doesn't do anything stupid. And he takes every moment of free time he has (which it isn't much, now that he has a job and a toddler to take care of) to try to find a way to set Stiles free, to find Stiles
Stiles who is a hopeless romantic and wants to romance Derek so bad but surely leather jacket bad boy Derek Hale wouldn't want that vs Derek who's ALSO a hopeless romantic and WANTS those things but thinks Stiles only wants him for the bad boy attitude so doesn't act romantically
I love to think about radioapple w both of them equally horrified by the development of their feelings. I need them going through it and repeating "why" in front of a mirror while blushing and thinking about the other
I know we live in the Evil timeline where sterek never became canon but sometimes I want to see the Super Evil timeline where they do get together around s3 but later on they break them up because Stiles's endgame was intended to be someone else
The concept of Alastor asking Lucifer to light his cigarettes as if he doesn't have the ability to conjure fire himself. He just wanted Lu to do it for him, the whore
Thinking about an AU where Lucifer is punished by Heaven after creating the Sins and the Ars Goetia. Because they're wary of his ability to Create life to such level (of consciousness and power), and are suspicious that he might want to make his own army to rise against them, an army that he could control as they're not Sinners so his previous punishment would not hold over them.
He's considered too dangerous, so they make the decision to lock him in a cage at the bottom of the pit. Unable to be reached by anyone else. Supernatural style iykwim
That cage was actually the one holding Roo as well, so he's trapped there with her as his only company. Unfortunately, she's kinda crazy and super vengeful so not the best company.
He was also full of rage at the beginning, but after that amount of time, he's more tired and depressed, unwilling to even try to break free anymore, as he believes Heaven's divine punishment to be absolute (which Roo doesn't approve, she wants outttt of that cage).
Roo gets bored of trying to get a reaction out of Lucifer, so instead she takes on watching the Sinners up in Pride with her Eyes all over the place. Lucifer can also watch the Sinners, but he chooses not to. He used to do it, once. Trying to find the good in them so maybe his punishment was worth it, but after all the senseless violence he stopped checking on them altogether.
He used to watch Lilith, too. But when she eventually moved on, it was too painful to keep his Eyes on her. He knew it was for the best, since he watched her drive herself crazy for centuries trying to find him and a way to free him, but being unable to.
So Lucifer was glad she could move on, this way she wasn't trapped down there with him for the rest of eternity (it still hurt watch her pretty much forget about him, as if he never existed beyond a cautionary tale).
One day, Roo grows a bit too excited about something. Which probably should've made him more wary, but he was beyond caring. If he asked any questions she might answer them, and the things that excited her usually gave him nightmares, so he refused to get involved.
And it's fine because everything goes on as usual, until one day something changes. And a soul appears outside of their cage (Supernatural style, iykwim)
Because Roo had sensed Alastor's unique soul, unlike any she had ever seen, and decided to observed him through her Eyes, eventually calling on him with whispers through the radio waves, until he had no other choice but to look for her.
And he actually managed to find her.
Kinda.
Because unfortunately for Roo, she's more of an Eldritch horror made of eyes and spiders in the cage instead of a physical being like Lucifer, so Alastor sees him instead and thinks he was the one calling him.
And he's pissed. Because Roo has been driving him crazy with her constant whispers and the heaviness of her Eyes. She was making his paranoia even worse, as he was aware that some unknown powerful entity was watching his every move for some reason.
And when he finally —through sheer stubbornness and magic that should not be able to be wielded by a mere sinner like him— manages to find the origins of his problems, and sees only Lucifer in the cage (and some weird ass substance thing with eyes all over the place ???), he assumes it's Lu stalking him. So he goes off on him.
And Lucifer, only used to Roo's type of torment (which it was less insults and more putting him through The Horrors) reacts in the same way, feeling alive for once after so long. So they start insulting each other. Alastor tells him to go to Hell. They're both already there. And then he leaves.
But not for long, Roo wouldn't allow that after so much work, so she calls him again until he returns to fight with Lucifer again and Lucifer has no idea what is happening. He had no way to communicate with Lilith, so he assumed Roo couldn't either (tbf, she usually couldn't). And he doesn't really want to think about The Implications of Alastor being there.
That same process repeats over and over, until Lucifer catches on. He's suspicious of Roo's motives, but he has been alone (with her) for so long that he craves whatever company he might get. Even if it's in the form of a demon that only shows up to tell him to shut the hell up and leave him alone.
He even starts using his Eyes to watch (spy) on Alastor up there, intrigued by this demon that could find him when Lilith, with the help and resources of the Sins and Ars Goetia, couldn't.
He does tell Alastor about Roo, though. Because he finds that he doesn't want the demon mad at him all the time. And while Alastor doesn't believe him at first, next time he shows up he's more mellowed and curious instead of downright vicious and hostile. Lucifer assumes that Roo finally revealed herself with whatever way she had to communicate with him and verified his story.
So with this new development, they start talking more casually. Alastor comes down more often, this time without needing Roo's intervention. And he's more curious than ever, about the cage and the punishment.
He's so prideful when he learns that no other demon has ever found a way down there, not even the Queen herself (though deep down he knows he should be concerned. Why him? What makes him different? What does She really want?)
And so they bond. And over time they start to like each other
Which works for Roo, they're moving a bit slow, but she had all the time in eternity and had learned to grow patience (one had to when being trapped with Lucifer for eternity). And she had been observing Alastor for a while, so she knew how determined he was to get the things that he wanted, no matter the cost or what it took.
So she keeps working to get them closer, to the point that Alastor would want Lucifer out so badly he'd ignore the obvious dangers of going against Heaven's divine judgement, and he'd find a way to open the cage for Lucifer, inadvertently freeing them both.
Giving her the chance to finally take what was rightfully hers and bring down whoever was in her way.
Thinking again about sterek fake dating in s1 because Scott, in the bullet episode, tells Allison that Stiles and Derek are dating to explain why Derek is in the school. It was the first thing that occurred to him because Stiles just told him he might be interested in guys so-
Allison tells Lydia, who tells Danny, who tells Jackson, and suddenly everyone knows
Stiles and Derek of course wanted to tell the truth before it became A Thing. But Scott convinces Stiles to lie because he doesn't want to look like a liar in front of Allison. And yeah the guy sucks but it would only be for a bit and then they can fake break up and no harm would be done! (Except for Stiles' ego because no one would believe that he chose to let a guy like Derek go)
Stiles, however, is weak to Scott's puppy eyes. And apparently Derek is weak to Stiles' doe eyes too because for some reason he finds himself agreeing despite having 27 problems right now and 0 energy to be more involved in Scott's relationship drama
He agrees with the condition that it's just an "in name" thing. Where he doesn't Actually have to act like Stiles' boyfriend, because he has things to do and an alpha to find and has no time for this-
Unfortunately for him, Lydia is curious about this new development (she didn't see it coming and is deeply perturbed by this so now she has to figure them out whether they like it or not) and keeps inviting Allison and Scott on double dates and oh who would've thought! Now Stiles doesn't need to awkwardly five wheel them and instead he can come with his new boyfriend and they can all get along!!!
Cue Scott's puppy eyes
Cue Stiles' doe eyes
Cue Derek agreeing for reasons that are beyond him
The Sheriff, of course, finds out. Because Lydia's very public dates mean they have no chance to hide it. So Derek finds himself having a "meet the parents" dinner while getting the shovel talk by the sheriff for a guy he's not really dating and doesn't even like (he doesn't, shut up. He was surely still under the effects of the wolfsbane when he was attacked by the doe eyes)
And he's still nowhere near close finding out who's the alpha that killed Laura. How is this his life?
Imagine Allison learning about werewolves and she's like ???? Stiles's boyfriend???? While Derek is tied up to the torture machine by his abuser just thinking about all the life choices that got him to this very specific moment
Allison also tries to take that opportunity to bond with Stiles, because she thinks he doesn't know anything about the furry club and she doesn't think it's fair to keep him in the dark and unprotected/out of control like they did with her
Stiles appreciates the feeling, he truly does, but unfortunately he cannot relate to Allison at all. Since yk- he does know about werewolves and it's definitely not dating one. Don't mind all the dates he and Derek had on their own that weren't even to keep up apparencies because no one is That invested in their love lives. And whatever confusing feelings he refuses to deal with. He has Priorities (don't ask him what are those, he cannot answer)
They're so stupid they'd probably keep "fake dating" even after everyone in the og group knows the truth, making every newcomer so confused about their relationship lol don't ask them questions they have things to do and are refusing to think about it
Thinking thoughts of hanahaki radioapple with Alastor being the one having it. I really need the deer to suffer ngl. And like- he was never worried about it before, romance was not something that happened to him, not only he was not that interested on it, but knowing the consequence it could bring he never allowed himself to get that close to another person
So it caught him so off guard, between late night drinks in silent company and mornings full of antagonizing energy. He didn't realize how comfortable he was getting with Lucifer, how he was starting to care
Until maybe one day when he made Lucifer laugh, genuinely laugh, not a mocking thing but something more giddy and unexpected. Or maybe it was the fire in Lucifer's eyes when they'd fight, a meaningless thing to pass the time since neither could really hurt the other, but that still had the angel bringing up his glorious set of wings and putting them on full display.
It could be the light of the Morningstar bleeding through the cracks of the fallen angel, it could be anything really. And Alastor would be so taken aback and then scared, the type that makes a person want to run away from everything and never think about their problems again. But he'd also feel warm, and right, like putting the final piece of a puzzle in place, like it was always supposed to be that way.
And then the light would caught Lucifer's wedding ring and he would only feel hollow--
So yeah, he starts coughing up petals and then later on flowers, as one does. He'd probably try to get rid of it in any way he could (cue very gory situations), but surgery doesn't exist in my Hanahaki AUs I'm sorry he is slowly dying (he'd get that damn surgery so fast, so it can't exist (I hate him)).
Also you can imagine how fun it would be for him to keep coughing his lungs out while having that big ass wound in his chest, he truly is having the best time of his life with his first love
Anyway, of course Lucifer loves him back, he's just an idiot that wants to think about his problems even less than Alastor does, and accepting he actually moved on from Lilith implies accepting their marriage is truly over and since he did change the trajectory of humanity as a whole for that love he is kinda scared to admit it's gone
Unfortunately, his alternative is to accept Alastor to be gone too and he is not mentally stable enough to go through that either lol
So yeah, cue Alastor waiting until the last moment when he knows there's no other choice, to swallow his pride and confess his feelings bc he really does not want to die and he can at the very least try that
And in my hanahaki AUs, it is not enough to say you love a person back and accept their feelings to cure it, you have to prove it, and the way to do that is by eating the flowers
So I'm just thinking about Lucifer, who has frowned upon cannibalism before and it's lowkey grossed out of it, frantically eating the flowers covered in blood that Alastor threw up in the middle of a very uncomfortable silence after his confession, and then opening him up to eat the rest from his chest, in order to save his life
He would be so careful with it too, considering the open gash Alastor already has. And it doesn't matter that Al would not die from it, Lucifer wouldn't want to hurt him more after all the pain he already went through because he didn't want to acknowledge his own feelings
Anyway, happy ending, they get together, Lucifer does not get a liking to Alastor's blood and it's lowkey traumatized by it but Alastor gets to drink Lucifer's blood in return claiming it wouldn't be fair otherwise (he's completely ignoring Lucifer's arguments that he saved his life). All's well that ends well
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