who art thou?

A Hellsing sideblog. Call me Ray. (She/Her) I make fic and shitposts, occasionally try my hand at meta, and toss out hot takes. Some posts are NSFW. Likes/Follows will come from my main blog @hellalugosi. Ask Box is always open. Feel free to send me questions about anything in this series or headcanon. Fic requests are currently closed. ◆ AO3 Account ◆ Shitposts

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Parks and Recreation - Season 2, Episode 21: “94 Meetings”

[loadinghellsing]

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@maka-llama

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Visit Original Link

💲💲 there are many benefits to being a vampire murderologist 💲💲

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Look at the notes lol

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"I can fix him" I can make him serve my entire bloodline

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he lived he served cunt then he died

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omg stop ignoring it and address it

Just did, Anon!

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care to make a statement on the upcoming hellsing liveaction film? what is your stance on this highly divisive topic? the people deserve to know!

As you know, I am something of an Internet Old. That means I have less energy in general and an ever-dwindling supply of fucks to give. 

As such, I just can’t bring myself to get too pressed about this right now. It could still get hung up in developmental hell indefinitely and I’m reserving judgment until the project is further along and we get information about casting and what they’ll actually even do with the plot. 

And who even knows. Manga/anime-to-live action adaptation has a poor track record, especially in the west, but I’ve long been of the opinion that Hellsing is one property that, possibly, actually could translate because of the western setting, cast, references, and tropes. So, there’s A Chance it could be totally fine! 

Or it could be complete garbage! 

But it’s honestly way too early to call at this point.

So yeah!

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Visit Original Link

Hellsing ORDER 10 Theme Aka The song that played during Integra’s surgery.

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~🎄 ⭐ Merry Christmas!!  ⭐ 🎄~

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🎄~*~*~Merry Christmas Eve! ~*~*~🎄

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

tell me more about the silence of the lambs au!

I mean obvs this was @crystallinee-waters’ idea first lol but here’s how I would handle it:

Seras is human, probably studying at Mi-5’s academy? In this AU, Hellsing is probably more research based as opposed to being a paramilitary organization, because Alucard’s spending his time locked up. And I was talking about this on Discord but if Seras is Clarice… then the closest analogue for Integra is probably Chilton lmfaooo. Though ngl Integra as Jack Crawford and Maxwell as Chilton would be fucking hilarious too. But yeah in a scenario where she’s Chilton, I’d probs place Anderson as Crawford aka the person actually leading the investigation.

So if Hellsing isn’t hunting down vampires then that’s just down to ordinary Mi5 agents. There’s probably a serial killer who’s behaving in such a way that it seems they either could be or believe that they are a vampire. And so they start consulting Alucard and he builds up a rapport with Seras, leading to her increasing involvement on the case. (“People will say we’re in love.”)

This would follow Silence of the Lambs most closely. I’d def just give Seras Clarice’s backstory because it’s just more fun that way. (“Well, Seras, have the lambs stopped screaming?”) The killer could be… idk one of the random red shirts. I think the Cheddar Priest would be the most fun? But yes, actually a vampire.

Anyway Alucard escapes at the end. (“I do wish we could chat longer, but… I’m having an old friend for dinner. Bye.”) But then Seras, now a fully fledged agent, can catch him again herself. But then another vampire serial killer is on the loose (either Walter for the vanity or Captain bc of the stoic air) and lol she consults with him again. Insert: entire plot of Red Dragon. Exchange Molly for Pip maybe? I think that would be pretty amusing.

Major is 500% Mason Verger drinking tear martinis. Uhhhh I could see Yumie as Margot? Enrico as Freddy Lounds. IDK who would be Anderson but he also needs to be here lmao

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Ok, so if you want Anderson in here, my suggestion is this: Keep the timeline approximately the same as canon Harrisverse. (Red Dragon  ➡ Silence ➡ Hannibal) Seras is still Clarice but now there’s a separate Will Graham again and that’s Anderson. Across all adaptations Hannibal claims he and Will are the same and so does Alucard about Anderson. (No idea who Molly is in that equation tho.)

Meanstwhile, I would also suggest switching Margot to Heinkel (Margot is butch in the novel and Heinkel and and Major are both blonde with similar accents lol) and making Yumie the girlfriend Margot wants to start a family with. 

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That is a VERY good point. Anderson could 10000% be Will, I was just conflating Clarice and Will bc of the quoting earlier ahaha but the dynamic would def work out. Molly can honestly just be The Orphanage imo. Like her main story function is “person Will cares about who’s jeopardized because of his work”

And yeah I was actually torn over whether Yumie or Heinkel work better as Margot. If we lift from NBCverse I could def see Yumie as Alana Bloom.

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Good, nice. Heinkel and Yumie kill Major together then get married. Hell yeah.

Yes, instead of moving to Florida with a wife and stepkid, Anderson leaves the field after the particularly harrowing Alucard case and takes a job teaching at a nice sunny orphanage. Then we can still get stuff like:

Alucard: That’s the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court.

Anderson: I keep getting it for Christmas. 

Alucard: It smells like something a child would select with a ship on the bottle. Is there a child in your life, Anderson? 

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the demon dog thing from hellsing is fuckin rad