POST THE COLLAB, JEANI!!!!
AHHHHHHHH YES THIS WAS SO FUN TO DO!
Basically, me and @fmajorenthusiast had the idea to collab on one of the ask posts she usually does! All of these are a collaborative effort, we basically just bounced ideas off of each other and then took turns formatting them! So, we humbly present to you,
RHPS Characters on Tumblr:
Frank: Frank posts shitty poetry that he writes meant to be a tribute to the TRAGEDY OF THE TUMBLR TITTY BAN. He recites it while pole dancing and/or just general thirst traps. But his content somehow never gets flagged, and he is so fucking insulted by this, it’s a badge of honor that pictures of somebody’s lawn has resived, but not yet him? What does he have to do? He’s constantly getting asked along the lines of “CURLY HAIR ROUTINE ASAP” or “makeup tut please <3<3 “ and he will reply with a single product or just like a zoomed out pic of his bathroom sink for them to decode.
Riff Raff: Riff is the guy that saves everybody’s life with those little templates. Like if somebody didn’t post a blank version of that meme, he’s got you covered!. No Picrew link? Riff can and will find it, and both comment and reblog the post with the link. He also calls out internet scams, and will do so in the most helpful-but-still-trolling-them way possible. If you follow him, you’ll kind of get used to the little bits of advice that trickle into your feed. He doesn’t actually follow many people, and carefully curated his feed to perfection.
Janet: Cottagecore Aesthetic blog. I know this in my bones. She would also reblog sentimental blackout poetry and little wholesome quotes. Half of her blog is BRAD MAJORS! She writes little love letters to him and posts pics of them together, just being Brad and Janet, they have a ship name at this point and are treated like fictional characters because of how incredibly, mind bogglingly sweet they are! Until somebody notices Frank in the background of one of her posts, and then she slowly starts posting progress on attaching rhinestones to burlesque attire (But she’s still all sweet with Brad in addition to this because she is an ICON).
Brad: Brad thinks this is a dating app and posts his “Best” picture! This post (along with his bio) becomes one of those legendary Tumblr posts, it has gotten so blurry from screenshots to other sites that he is unrecognizable. Janet eventually shows him the ropes, but he still spends at least 24 hours just to “Learn what a ‘blorbo’ is goddamn it”. He also uses ‘Babygirl’ in the wrong context. Anyway, when he finally shows up on Janet's Blog, they’re like “Alright, this checks out” and then FRANK comes in like a wrecking ball, destroying all logic and making Brad lose half his followers but gain twice as many!
Magenta: Oh Magenta is here to TROLL PORN BOTS. She is here to troll porn bots in a MASSIVE way. She trolls them into being banned, but has LOTS of fun with it!!! She's gotten to the point where she has to seek THEM out because she's feared in the porn bot community! They know that she'll torture and bring them down!!! They can't stop her!!! She's like the stealthy tumblr superhero!!! She also makes so many snarky responses to people! She has the sassiest tongue on the internet and it strongly resembles the tone of the trope of the old lady who's completely lost her filter except she doesn't need to wait for old age for that one! Do NOT dare challenge her!!! She'll fully respond to passive aggression by cussing somebody out in the most powerful way possible and it's absolutely HILARIOUS. She's living her best life on tumblr and she's ADORING it so much!! She is an icon of sass and taking down porn bots, and we couldn't ask for a better hero here on tumblr!!!
Columbia: Columbia is an artist!!! She draws with the most amazing and eye-blinding palette out there!!! She loves what she's doing so much and she's SO talented!!! Its very neon and in a Pixar-esque style!!! Disney would hire her as an artist in a heartbeat!!! (But you must NEVER WORK WITH DISNEY COLUMBIA THEY'RE SO CORRUPT PLZ WORK WITH A COMPANY THAT WON'T STEAL ALL YOUR CREATIONS!!!) Her art is so bubbly and bright and fun!!! She also loves to make lists like these!!!! She's big in the world of fandom!!!! She loves it so much!!! She's sweet and fun and amazing!!!
Eddie: Eddie uses his main blog as his own personal dartboard. Where Rocky’s little slices of life are sweet are cute, Eddie is that one guy who posts things like “I SWEAR TO GOD IF I NEED TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THIS FUCKING MICROWAVE FRENCH TOAST I WILL FIND WHOEVER MADE THIS AND RIP THE STILL BEATING HEART FROM THEIR BODY”. These rants either get hundreds of thousands of notes or absolutely none at all, there is no in between! Eddie has a sideblog for his motorcycle, and it’s actually really sweet!!! He talks about how he “adopted” Bessie (the name he’s given it) and the process of repairing her as well as the places he’s taken her!. BUT DO NOT CALL IT CUTE. He hates when anyone calls his little “relationship” with Bessie cute, and almost ran Brad over by the time the first “That’s ador- had left his mouth. Eddie knows all the lore of his favorite bands, and classic rock tumblr is constantly falling for his “Hey, I’m newer fan of (group or artist) could anyone explain what the (code name for bad even) Incident is?” He then reads the explanations aloud, sometimes with Frank, posting reaction videos on youtube/instagram!
Rocky: oh this sweet baby boy this sweet baby boy this SWEET BABY BOYYYYYY!!! First of all... he is just a darling, but this sweetheart is probably too young to have a Discord even! Let alone a Tumblr!!! That said, he's COMPLETELY safe!!! For two reasons!!! Number one, there's another part of everyone else's blogs that says "Don't you fucking hurt Rocky" or something close to it!!! Secondly, he's literally so pure of heart that you wouldn't dare!!!! He doesn't even know what to post about and the result is the best thing EVER!!! He'll post things like "I saw duckies today!" Or "I really really REALLY love bubbles!" Or a personal favorite, "I believe in unicorns!!!" He's a DARLING and probably has the most famous blog of anyone on this list solely because of how truly lovable he is!!! He is a true darling of the internet and he is BELOVED on Tumblr!!!
Dr. Scott: Similarly to Brad, Dr. Scott severely misunderstood the point of tumblr. He was like “Oh, a place to share ideas? MY corner of the internet? This looks like a fun time!”. And…it goes how you would expect it to go. He makes every mistake that Brad did but worse. He falls for nearly every scam on the planet and has to be saved by the rest of the crew multiple times, actually tries to reason with both trolls and bots, doesn’t know how to block tags....etc. It took him a solid few months to learn how to reblog, and even longer to actually tag his own posts. He does eventually learn though! During a lecture, he forgets to close the tab before a lecture and the entire class sees his dashboard on the projector screen, and from there the entire lesson becomes “Tumblr 101”!
The Criminologist: He, like Eddie, has a main blog and a side blog!!!!! First, he's on the conspiracy theory side of tumblr and he and Doctor Scott will very occasionally cross paths and it is ALWAYS ICONIC! It's literally like those scenes in shows where the two masterfully secretive and manipulative characters interact and it's the FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE!!! It's totally amazing!!! His side blog however, now that's when the chaos REALLY starts. See, he writes fanfic and is too embarrassed to ever admit it (even though it's Tumblr and that's one of the most important things that Tumblr is for!!!) What are these fanfics of you ask? Well they're Percibeth and Brad x Janet crossover fics of course! Also Eddie is Leo and Doctor Scott is Chiron because YES! However, this blog is discovered by Frank!!! Frank, who is ROYALLY pissed that he did NOT MAKE IT IN!?!?!? and that IT ISN'T SMUT!?!?!? What has the world come to?!?!? Of course, he outs this blog to everybody else!! It would be a disaster except for one thing!!!! This is TUMBLR!! And The Criminologist's identity is PROTECTED!!! Nobody knows!!!!! Shhhhhhhhhhhh
