Narcissus: I am NOT a lover NOR a fighter. Leave me the HELL aloooooone
The lover part's obvious (unless we're talking about self-love, lol). The latter's about how he lowkey dodged the draft for the Seven Against Thebes cuz he straight up died beforehand. Then again, even without the dying part, I get draft dodger vibes from him lmao
Unironically? If this statement is from Narcissus's subjective assessment of himself, then he would probably claim to be a fighter haha, since he's a hunter after all. But if it is from my judgment? Narcissus was one hell of a lover; he just didn't know his own capability before the pool. You called it self-love, but that love was always other-directed, wasn't it? He loved an 'other', who just so happened to be his own reflection, so completely that he forgot to love himself.
... Which is precisely why he would not be a good lover. It pains me to say it because I adore him, but unfortunately, it's the truth! Because he failed to love himself first, should he ever fall in love with anyone, real or fake, that love would become all-consumming... dependent, enmeshed, etc. The kind of love would drown both him and his beloved, should the beloved care at all. And the worst part? Should the beloved not care, they could totally leave the relationship at any time and leave him to drown alone, and he would still be there, waiting, crying, begging helplessly, but ultimately wishing them well and would welcome them back with open arms if they returned. You see how he acted in the very toxic relationship he believed he had with his reflection by the pool (and yes, it's toxic even if you discount the illusory nature of the reflection). After all, it kept leaving whenever he cried too much or just disturbed the water's surface in general.
This said in rage he turnes againe unto the foresaide shade,
And rores the water with the teares and sloubring that he made,
That through his troubling of the Well his ymage gan to fade.
Which when he saw to vanish so, Oh whither dost thou flie?
And bless that boy's heart, but his response to that kind of abandonment just shows his utter lack of self-preservation. He bargained:
Abide I pray thee heartely, aloud he gan to crie. …
Forsake me not so cruelly that loveth thee so deere,
But give me leave a little while my dazled eyes to cheere
With sight of that which for to touch is utterly denide,
he got angry, but at himself, and called his anger wretched:
Thereby to feede my wretched rage and furie for a tide.
and self-harmed, but I don't like it, so I will pretend it didn't happen again.
Like yes, Narcissus really got himself into an abusive relationship, and he let the reflection walk all over him. You would not want someone so ...devoted as your lover, seeing as you shouldn't be their therapist after all; unless you enjoy the power you would have over your partner (but let's not go there).
Narcissus: I am NOT a lover! (and he believes it.)
Truth #1: He would be an incredibly devoted and deeply loving lover.
Truth #2: But he also would not make a healthy one. ¯\(ツ)/¯
Now, about the draft dodger part, which is funny because I also made that joke before (is this karma coming back to bite me in the ass?). Or is this a pure coincidence? Great minds think alike? Either way, before I say anything, since we are talking about this topic, may I interest you in an AU plot I created just to see if I could challenge fate and save Narcissus from his fate? No? Well, too bad, because here's how that would happen:
You know how Narcissus killed himself because of survivor's guilt in Conon? How about, instead of letting Ameinias kill himself in front of his door by not reacting in time, he just reacts without thinking by yanking the sword away from Ameinias and injuring himself in the process? Now, this is not in Ameinias's plan, right? And Narcissus is injured because of him, so he won't call the gods for revenge anymore, right? It should go from entitled rage -> shock -> guilt for Ameinias, right? Then, if Ameinias won't call Nemesis, the pool event won't happen. Also, since Narcissus hurt himself saving someone's life, won't it be good for his reputation? Or at least, the people in their community should pity him. Btw, I'm not skipping the part where injury -> adrenaline rush = no pain -> when the rush calms = the body goes into shock, numbness, dizziness from pain and blood loss (even though it's probably not that much blood) -> fever. And yes, outsiders probably need to intervene lol. So if it's in front of Narcissus's home + Ameinias is a known persistent suitor + Ameinias is holding a sword + Narcissus is the one bleeding, what conclusion may outsiders who aren't there from the start reach? A murder attempt, maybe? Who would think it was a weaponised suicide attempt instead? So yes, if that happens, the other suitors should leave him alone for a good amount of time lol.
Now, this sounds all fine and good, right? Crisis averted and all, I'm such a genius. So Narcissus might just finally get his "happy ending"? ...And that was when I realised I was too naive. That's why I came to the conclusion that dying at 16 was the best option for Narcissus. By dodging the pool, I inadvertently landed myself in a worse ending. I thought I had found hope, but the timeline said: nope!
Yep, you guessed that right. It's the presence of the upcoming war that prevents any hope of a happy ending. But war is hell, everyone knows it; what does this have to do with Narcissus being a draft dodger or not? Because, just like how Narcissus internalised his guilt over Ameinias's suicide enough to kill himself over it in Conon, how could someone with such compassion just sit back idly or hide when the war came for his community? It's not in his nature. No, ofc he would fight in the war, even though it probably wouldn't change the ending that Thebes would fall. You may argue that killing an enemy in a dead-or-alive situation would help with his conscience, and I would agree with a maybe, but truly, imagine if his slashes weren't clean enough to kill his enemies in one strike and leave them to bleed out, I think that would weigh on Narcissus's conscience too, as an unclean cut would create unnecessary suffering before death, because he was such a softie and all.
Would he have died gloriously as a war hero on the battlefield instead? Hah, that's the joke! He would survive, by luck, by chance, by miracle, just because fate had decreed so. So long as he knows not himself after all. So he would survive the war, only to have his soul long destroyed by its brutality. His family would survive, but his friends and community would not; that's just history haha, nothing to argue about. So he would survive, grow old and weary but hollow. And that is the tragedy, isn't it? So in conclusion? Dying at 16 was really his best bet. (not that it was less of a tragedy tho, just comparatively).
Narcissus: I am a fighter*! (hunter)
Truth #1: He would not run from fighting the war.
Truth #2: And he would survive, but it would destroy him anyway.
(Also, sorry if you came for the jest and I turned it into a psychology lesson instead (｡ﾉω＼｡).)
