type: sleepy

♀ ISTP, LSE, enneagram 9w1 sp/so 964, Jupiterian😜, Sagittarius🚀, Scorpio🌞, Gemini🌝, what else ya wanna know??

[istp9]

I’m probably ISTP Ti/Ni-SC/B in the objective personality system, not sure about F or M

[istp9]

I think I’m either FM Ti/Ni-SC/P #4 orrr FF Ti/Se-CS/P #4

[istp9]

Yeah so they typed me FF Si/Te-BS/P(C) #4 LOL

[istp9]

I have so much trouble trying to figure out what a 6 disintegrating to 3 looks like. I always think: 3 is such a great type, doesn’t everyone wanna be a 3, aren’t 3s the best most productive type ever?? But yeah I realize that they are super image-focused, super concerned with how others view them, super alienated from how they truly are. When I’m under stress I definitely start way over-fixating on how others view me and I feel like I have no value bc I can’t see myself. Which the 3-6-9 all have the issue of being unable to see themselves in terms of heart-mind-body. But it’s definitely like “damn I cannot see my heart/value, can anyone see my heart/value, do I have no heart/value??” And then I bake cookies for my coworkers to remind them that I do have a very thin thread of value.

[istp9]

I'm a convert to the enneagrammer way of viewing the enneagram. They typed me 6w7, 693 (147).

I'm still like ehh I relate to 9w1 A Lot. But a big part of this is me assuming and fearing the judgements and perspectives of others. I assume that others see more characteristics of 9w1 rather than 6w7 and I'm afraid to contradict that. However, I've realized that my fears and projections about what other people think kinda runs my life. Super characteristic of 6w7.

A key difference between 6 and 9 is that 6 will visibly be rattled by things and want to talk out their stresses with people while 9 will remain disengaged, repressing their stress. I feel like I don't often talk out my stress with people but like.. I totally do. However, I have had periods in my life where I didn't talk to anyone about my stress because I didn't want to bother them. These periods of time definitely make up the majority of my life, too. For example: my entire childhood I rarely talk to my parents or friends about anything. But every now and then I'd have a moment where a hole in my balloon pops and I have to talk out a certain situation with someone, usually a friend. My point being, being aware of my stresses and my desire to communicate them at all makes me more 6 than 9. A 9 is so repressed and disengaged that they are not aware of the fact that they could be stressed. I always knew what stressed me, but I consciously repressed expressing it to others. And sometimes I would express it in a visibly anxious way.

More often these days I've been trying to intentionally talk to people about certain situations because it is definitely helpful to me sometimes. It seems like a lot of the advice given to 6 is to maybe hold back on expressing your stress, sit with it, feel how YOU feel, don't think about what others might think. But expressing your stress and hearing about what others think/gaging how they react definitely can help a 6. If you do this intentionally and in moderation, it can calm you down so that you are able to sit with the situation and feel how you feel, integrating to 9. Lately, I had been way overdoing the 6, venting too much, attaching too much to other people's thoughts. Now, I am communicating intentionally and I feel so much better.

[istp9]

I love looking back on my old journal entries and my anon social media posts like damn I do remember how depressed and stressed I was and in fact it does not get better girly! It gets worse! And you don’t develop better coping mechanisms, you develop worse ones! And you don’t start getting into healthier situations, you get into worse ones! So cool! I used to focus so hard on the idea that things will get better because I will inevitably grow from the hard times. But growth is not inevitable, you definitely have to try and it is not fun and does not feel good. No shit but I was always like, “I’ll be forced into that situation anyway so of course I’ll accept the growing pains!” No, you have to choose them and choose growth. And I still don’t wanna, but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t try.

[istp9]

JK things do get better. Worse and better in a cycle. Right now I'm just chillin and not up to much. But it turns out this is a great way for me to grow, since my emotional crises are often caused by being too attached to other people and their thoughts and opinions.

[istp9]

I’m probably ISTP Ti/Ni-SC/B in the objective personality system, not sure about F or M

[istp9]

I think I'm either FM Ti/Ni-SC/P #4 orrr FF Ti/Se-CS/P #4

[istp9]

I really do wish I weren’t bisexual. I guess it’s not so difficult to go through life acting like a straight person. So far I’ve only been with the opposite sex, anyway, and I could continue without much of a problem. But like, as sexual creatures, we notice our attractions to people all. the. time. I’m not saying I’m a horny bitch constantly, but I notice who I’m attracted to. If I were to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex now and for the rest of my life, it wouldn’t matter whether I’m out as bisexual or not. But since I’m on the prowl, or trying to mingle, however aggressive you want the phrase to be, , , I don’t want to ignore half the people I would consider hooking up with or dating. That’s just inefficient, and, like, emotionally really difficult. I really wish I could ignore my emotions with no repercussions – because I do it all the time – but that’s so unhealthy and causes (/is causing) some issues!! So I guess I could ignore my bisexuality forever, and we don’t have it nearly as difficult as gay people or trans people, but this would still cause pain for me. 

[istp9]

I just wish I weren't bi bc I fear that I don't have the ability to stand up to the judgement of others. I fear my female friends will be uncomfortable around me and I fear that the guys I date will push me to have 3somes. The solution here is just being confident in who I am and what my standards are. But it's hard when I've lately been out here questioning my sexuality. I just have a habit of... not sticking to my standards and hooking up with people who I'm not into, just as an experiment. But having those experiences makes me more and more repulsed by sex. I've hooked up with 1 woman and I wasn't actually into her so obviously it sent me into a spiral of "am I not into women??" Bro ur not into people who ur not into, duh. The same thing happens whenever I hook up with a man, where I question if I'm just gay. Lately tho I haven't been attracted to anyone I've hooked up with or considered hooking up with, so I'm questioning if I'm just asexual. No bitch you are just hung up on someone. And I've gotta admit that I'm not a superficial person, I don't wanna hook up with people just bc they're physically attractive, I want to be attracted to their whole essence and who they are as a person. I hate admitting that so much LMAO I feel like I'm lying but I'm not.

[istp9]

When I go to make a decision, I need to consult with like EVERYBODY I can lmao what does this say about me

[istp9]

I see all my posts like this, doubting everything, clarifying everything... bitch you're such a 6!!! Just so much 6 content on the internet is inaccurate.

[istp9]

I like the idea that the 3rd instinctual function is just ‘repressed’ rather than ‘blind’. I’m definitely not blind to sx; I thought I was sx dominant at one point lol. I relate to people who are sx dominant, sometimes not much and sometimes when they state their #sxdomprob I question myself because I have what I think is the same exact problem. Although I’m ‘sx-blind’, I’m not blind to sx and tend to frequently think about my problems with it. I just don’t ACT on solving my sx problems, like sx dominant people do. I acknowledge my 3rd instinct and go “ok I would love that but I have bigger fish to fry” and then focus on my 1st and 2nd instincts.

[istp9]

Reading through a lot of my old posts and seeing how far my understanding of type has come. But this is something I stand by. Your instinctual stacking is like "duh obviously everyone acts this way". And when you see people who have your 3rd instinct 1st, you assume they are making a conscious and nonsensical decision to be like that. You're not blind to the 3rd instinct, the way it works in others and yourself, it just was never ever a priority to develop/focus on it.

[istp9]

Had a fwb ESTP 9 (a self-aware one at that!) and this definitely would have been such a nice relationship for me as an ISTP 9 however hE WAS NOT INTO THAT honestly so rude

[istp9]

So many of my bosses are 9s and it’s so frustrating. They are making me a “if I were in charge, none of these problems would be happening!!!” type of person. Normally I am one to accept and be understanding of any shortcomings. But things do not flow when the whole group of people running things are the “whoops! let me not prepare for the problem before the problem arises bc thinking about the problem before it’s right in front of me is stressful!” type of people.

[istp9]

I love looking back on my old journal entries and my anon social media posts like damn I do remember how depressed and stressed I was and in fact it does not get better girly! It gets worse! And you don’t develop better coping mechanisms, you develop worse ones! And you don’t start getting into healthier situations, you get into worse ones! So cool! I used to focus so hard on the idea that things will get better because I will inevitably grow from the hard times. But growth is not inevitable, you definitely have to try and it is not fun and does not feel good. No shit but I was always like, “I’ll be forced into that situation anyway so of course I’ll accept the growing pains!” No, you have to choose them and choose growth. And I still don’t wanna, but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t try.

[istp9]

This man just sent me the 16personalities and..... damn....... just when I thought we had something........ jk it’s honestly a decent big 5 test. Was not gonna mention how a lot of the questions are wack but like I have to mention it bc that’s unforgivable. I usually get INFP-T on it and yes so true I’m very introverted, pretty open, highly agreeable, not conscientious, and highly neurotic. But Jung-wise I am quite ISTP (a depressed one). This guy is pretty clearly functionally ESFP but he got ENFP-A on 16personalities. Totally makes sense tho he is very open! Probably a very high percentage. I’ll let him have it. I think he’s an enneagram 7. I h8 when people bring up things I like bc I do go cray and get too excited.

[istp9]

Anyway I did date this man for a month and he was definitely a 7 ESFP. At one point he got frustrated and said that I am like talking to a brick wall so that’s a super healthy and supportive 7+9 dynamic, right?!

[enneagrambias]

Anger according to Nine

It can be devastating when anger gets away from a 9. The dark and unflattering side of 9 is that anger informs everything they do, it’s just buried so deep down that they have to learn how to be angry like a normal person. At the root of the stillness they seek is that emotion: anger at chaos. The fact that chaos exists is deeply offensive, but since the fight against such an impersonal force is over before it begins, resignation becomes the coping mechanism that keeps anger locked away.

It’s conscious enough that there’s an awareness of giving up. It’s not a secret to themselves. It’s not easygoingness for the sake of easygoingness, but a dream deferred (or worse, a complete loss of self), and deep inside is a well of anger that has to be acknowledged about that. The more anger is felt at the cosmic scale of things, the less room there is for giving much of a shit about the smaller stuff, right? But when something is being asked of the 9, and they don’t have access to that primordial energy in order to say no like they really want to, the gap between that desire to say no and the perceived ability to is felt each time.

Growth becomes impossible unless the anger can be acknowledged for what it is, because only then can reality be forgiven for breaking what is supposed to be universal love into many pieces, forcing chaos and obligation. Recognizing this anger for what it is becomes as upsetting to a 9 as it is important for growth.

[istp9]

This man just sent me the 16personalities and..... damn....... just when I thought we had something........ jk it’s honestly a decent big 5 test. Was not gonna mention how a lot of the questions are wack but like I have to mention it bc that’s unforgivable. I usually get INFP-T on it and yes so true I’m very introverted, pretty open, highly agreeable, not conscientious, and highly neurotic. But Jung-wise I am quite ISTP (a depressed one). This guy is pretty clearly functionally ESFP but he got ENFP-A on 16personalities. Totally makes sense tho he is very open! Probably a very high percentage. I’ll let him have it. I think he’s an enneagram 7. I h8 when people bring up things I like bc I do go cray and get too excited.

[istp9]

I feel like most people don’t understand why I do what I do, but particularly some friends just think I’m so dumb. I figure these are the friends that rely a lot on their Ni/Si because their thinking is along the lines of “it’s so obvious that’s not going to end well for you, I don’t see why you’d do that unless this isn’t obvious to you, too.” And my Se ass is like.. “ I just want to have the ~experience~.” You can’t get the full picture via solely using introverted perception or extroverted perception, you truly need both. True, people who prefer extroverted perception can get caught up in it because there’s a lot to experience and many possibilities to consider which can distract from narrowing things down to a purpose or reason or trend. But in the same way, people who prefer introverted perception get caught up in their purpose or reason or trend and become closed off to new information because they think they know everything. I personally think there’s more of a superiority complex with that way of thinking, and it gets under my skin! I definitely appreciate being reminded of the likely outcome or reason, but I still want to have the experience for myself so I can take in detail. This helps you figure out *why* you get that negative outcome and what to look out for so you can try to avoid that in future by catching it even *earlier* or by doing something slightly different. Ya never know until you try, even after taking your best guess!

[istp9]

Are you supposed to like talk to your friends about things you like and what you’re doing bc I do not be doing that. I just tell people different things about my life that I think they’ll find funny/entertaining. That or I ramble about my current predicament & hope they give me feedback or else, that was a waste. This sounds like some Ti/Fe shit lol. Maybe Ti/Se.

[istp9]

Banged a cancer last night and every little thing has made me cry today is this like when they say you exchange energy during sex

[istp9]

Definitely kidding bc this guy is not a crier. It’s kinda funny with us both being Virgo Mars bc we’re stereotyped as being very kinky but it’s more like “whatever you want, I’ll do” but neither of us know/say what we want bc we’re both very passive. That’s some mutable shit right there.