It's ALL about ME now

Just came out of a long relationship and trying to change my life and move on positively with my life.

[therelatableimages]

[i-was-born-to-love-you-and-queen]

[myloveisdelica]

So cute

[itisallaboutmenow]

This dream made me thinking.

I just had one of the weirdest dream ever. I really don’t know wat to think at all. It had me interacting wit pple that I know. Firstly I have exams the next morning. And it was sunrise already. I saw my frend Bart and I vijay kissed him. Meaning one kiss on each cheak and the one on the lips. Beautiful sun rise I have ever seen. The sun literally looked like fire. The next person I saw was Tom because I wanted to use the bathroom and was in it. It had a perfectly gud bathroom next to it but I waited for him. He had this cloth of white lace and a team colours on the edges. It looks like if u fold it up it wud look like an American football jacket that teens wear. We talked about where I knew this cloth from because Tom had it for years. I don’t really remember this part. But I saw my ex wit one of my best friends who don’t even live here anymore. Funny thing is that mind told me that it was Jerry but he looked different. Jerry always had a thing for Amy. It was obvisouly breakfast by now. So they took out their food and  sat and I think I saw them makeout. All I know is that I was hurt and I ran like I always do. Took out food inside and told my mom. Somehow she got Amy to transfer back to her old school. But actions didn’t happen fast enough. Both of them still had to write the exam that morning. And when I saw them together and I sat down. My friend saw my reaction, got up, covered my eyes and got Jerry out of my sight.

Wat should I be thinking about this dream. I have no idea water to think. It made me feel like Jerry is the one I want and if I don’t move fast someone else will find him. Do I really still have all these feeflings for him still. That was one major blow to my head. Only sane thing that happen in this dream was talking to Tom. He is one of my oldest friends. Maybe something will spark wit us. Who knows.

[itisallaboutmenow]

Got this new star tongue ring

[itisallaboutmenow]

Goin to school :)

[itisallaboutmenow]

[itisallaboutmenow]

[itisallaboutmenow]

[itisallaboutmenow]

I got glasses now!

[itisallaboutmenow]

Thoughts of a stressed out teen.

My life is filled wit regrets and pain but why do I let it affect me. Probalby because everyday I am reminded that this is my last chance. What if, life screws wit me again. Everything takes hard work and dedication but if I am always being put down every minuite, I would have more panic attacks and emotional brake-downs than I could handle. How am I supposed to fit in work when I am always scheduling emergeny, emotional brake downs. Thoughts of suicide will be floating through my head. Doesn’t it really sound betr if I wasn’t here to give u all this burden?

[itisallaboutmenow]

[itisallaboutmenow]

Complicated relationships

My life is filled wit a lot of things but the most complicated have to be my relationships wit people. In the past I have had my share of boyfriends. From the wanna be rapper to the intellectual engineer. But now I thirst for a new kind of man that one only dreams of. I keep meeting pple that suit the profile perfectly but I keep feeling like the best is yet to come. Like someone is waiting for me and I just need to be at the right place and time. Maybe I am coocoo about all of this boy crazy stuff. Maybe I want someone to drive me about and give me love whenever I want it. Honestly everytime I think about having a new boyfriend, I think of a fresh start. Someone I could really put my heart and soul into. Someone that would just hug me for long periods of time. I only had this kind of love once but I did everything in my power to end it. Maybe I just want to redeem myself wit a new person in my life and actually make it right this time. Love is a tricky thing that coincides wit trust.  When u meet a new guy u either get tossed in the friend zone or a fuck buddy.

[itisallaboutmenow]

Pressured to do something so we do the Opposite

Honestly I don't see the point in pressuring someone to do this and that. I don't know why I do this,but if  someone pressures me too often , hunnie I will be doing the opposite. I can't function when I am stressed. I feel like I can't breathe and I can't catch my breath. Then I end up doing nothing becuz I was only trying to avoid my problems. Why is it always so satisfying to see someone in pain or some braking down. I probably do it on a daily basis and it tears me down. Why should I feel good when others don't? Its the same concept when some pressures me to do something and I don't achieve what I should have. Do I get that good feeling that I crave from how others feel about me.

[narc8tics-deactivated20121211]

[espiritu-inquebrantable]

[omg-relatable]

[geral-isnotenough]