Me now: *crying over the 6 hours of sleep I will be getting*
Me from the past 5 years who runs on an average of 2 hours a night:
Ha. Fucking weak bitch
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du

blake kathryn

if i look back, i am lost

pixel skylines
Mike Driver
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
No title available

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
🪼

⁂
No title available
occasionally subtle

No title available
hello vonnie
art blog(derogatory)
AnasAbdin
seen from Canada
seen from Canada

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from South Africa

seen from Bulgaria

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Japan

seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States
@itismostdefinitelycomplicated
Me now: *crying over the 6 hours of sleep I will be getting*
Me from the past 5 years who runs on an average of 2 hours a night:
Ha. Fucking weak bitch
Me: skin cancer’s scary
Also me: *slathering cooking oil all over my body* BURN ME
The worst they can say is no (false)
Growing up I would always confide in my older siblings about my stresses in regards to my strict parents, especially when it comes down to asking them anything. Their response would always be “Go ahead and ask them. I mean, the worst they can say is no, right?”
No that’s not right. I only realized recently why I was hesitant to ask them if I the “worst they could say is no.” “No” is not the worst that could happen. My parents always told me the same phrase but every time I asked them something or to go somewhere it wasn’t just a response of “no.” They would get mad that I dare ask to go somewhere and god forbid I ask to go out 2 times in the span of 2 weeks.
Ok, so, I need to vent about this.
1) I don’t bash people who have differing opinions about vaccines, if you don’t wanna vaccinate yourself or your child, that’s fine. I’m still going to, and that doesn’t mean I have to agree with you. I just ask that you make educated choices 🤷🏻♀️ 2) Choosing to vaccinate does not mean I haven’t done my research or quizzed my daughter’s pediatrician before she’s given them. I ALWAYS look into the side effects, and make the best decision from there. 3) I fully believe that vaccines had nothing to do with her being autistic, you don’t have to agree with me at all, and that’s fine. Just don’t tell me I poisoned my child, and that she’s unhealthy because she’s vaccinated and autistic. Genetics, her incredibly premature birth, hospital stay, and the decisions I made to keep her alive in the NICU are what lead us to where we are. 4) There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH MY CHILD!!! ASD is not a death sentence, it’s not the end of her world (or mine). It’s challenging, and I will always advocate to make sure the world is more educated, and that there are less people like the above ^. Doesn’t mean I won’t run into this in the future, doesn’t mean my daughter won’t have to deal with this either. She’s ridiculously smart, she’s ALWAYS happy, and I love her beyond words. Autism doesn’t make her broken or ruined or injured. So you can fuck right off with that opinion 5) I will not tolerate anyone who tries twisting the conversation and brings my daughter into it. Hate on me all you want, but leave my CHILD out of it. Anyone who does that is literal human garbage, fight me.
I found this posting and immediately correlated it with your vaccine story and it made me laugh.
this thread has me in tears right now
We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said “get rid of this”. So I opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway.
great
I stuck my hand in a bowl of soup simply because I hadn’t before.
same
When I was maybe 10-12, I threw one of my dad’s golf clubs that had no head on it like a spear down the hallway after telling my brother it would be cool.
absolutely
One time I was eating a lemon poppyseed muffin. The phone rang, so I reacted by shoving the entire muffin my mouth and eating it as fast as I could, nearly choking to death, and I didn’t even make it to the phone before it stopped ringing.
huge mood
Gave my sister a piggyback when she was giving my other sister a piggyback at the same time
thank you for your service
i have a fake son. his name is Tim and he is working on his M.S. in astrophysics at Berkeley. he is devestatingly handsome and enjoys rock climbing and volunteers as a counselor at the local YMCA there in Berkeley, California. i am so proud of my fake son. i have raised him up in my own head to be such an outstanding member of society. “Tim” is only brought up when asked about by one particular woman at work that i only see on occasion. i don’t make a habit or game of lying to people, but with her, it kinda came about as follows: Faye is one of those people who has been there/done that and will hang herself on the cross while she tells you how much worse the experience was for her. i’ve seen this woman Kanye West an 8-month pregnant girl at said girl’s own baby shower to glorify the gift she gave her as well as go into how horrible her labor was with her own children. Faye also is a braggart. her car/purse/house/ring/shoes/etc. all cost more than whatever yours did and her children are all angels. i was forced to work with Faye for 2 days about 5 years ago. she called me Emily a few times before i finally told her my name is Amy, not Emily. she gave me a sideways glance and said, “I like Emily better”, and since then, she has always called me Emily. i let this go because to get angry with her and tell her off is to see her become dramatic and begin crying and insist she did not mean anything by it while not issuing anything close to an apology. Faye is always right, too, you know. anyway, when she shut up long enough about herself and her fabulous offspring on the second day, she asked, “Do you have any children, Emily?” i replied that i do not. she then launched into her daughter taking fertility drugs so that she could give her mother grandchildren someday. that was the only question she asked me until i saw her about a year later. “Oh, HI, Emily! How are you?!” “Hi, Faye…how are you?” “Wonderful, wonderful. Stephen just graduated from UT. He’s going to be the best doctor ever! How is your son, uh, Tim?” it took me a second. Tim? son? what the hell is she talking about?! it dawned on me what a complete narcissist she truly is. she hadn’t heard me the day she asked if i had children, because she didn’t care. she didn’t care enough to call me by my real name, so it wasn’t much of a surprise. i couldn’t stop myself. i briefly thought about correcting her, but i decided to just go with it. “Tim is doing so well. He was just accepted to Berkeley after his amazing thesis on planetary nebuli. We are so proud of him.” her eyes grew big. “Oh, how nice! But, Berkeley? That’s so far from home. UT is an excellent school; surely he could’ve been accepted there?…” i gave a small chuckle. “Oh, well, they wanted him for sure, Faye. I mean, all the letters he received, practically BEGGING him to study there. But, well, they just don’t have a sufficient astronomy department. UT is a fine school, but not for the subject that Tim is going into. Astrophysics is not something you can study just anywhere, you know.” her eyes narrowed. “Medicine is what these young people should be going into. Astrophysics? What is that, anyway? How will it contribute to the world?” “Gosh, I don’t really know how to explain astrophysics, Faye. It’s so mind blowing for simple minds like mine and yours. But searching for things in space that could potentially help our planet is a pretty big deal, I think.” Faye promptly excused herself. i knew i had gotten her. i’ve bumped into her on and off throughout the past 5 years and she always told me how her angels were saving the world, especially Stephen, and then she’d ask about Tim. and i made sure my Tim was one step above her Stephen. her face would turn crimson and she would have to abruptly leave. i saw her as i was leaving work yesterday and she stopped me to wish me a happy Easter. “Stephen is coming home this holiday. He’s bringing his fiance. She’s a doctor too, you know. How is Tim? Don’t tell me he’s still not graduated?…” “Oh, Faye, don’t be silly! Astrophysics takes YEARS to graduate from. It’s not as simple as medicine. But, yes, he is close to graduating.” “Is he coming home for Easter? I can’t imagine spending holidays without my children; how dreadful! Oh, but he’s all the way in California…it costs so much to fly here, I assume.” I grinned. “Yes, it does. But he’s such a sweetheart, he’s flying me out there this year! Taking a break from his studies and humanitarian efforts to have his dear ol’ Mom around for Easter. I’m so lucky!” “…yes, well, have a nice time, Emily. Happy Easter!” “You too, Kay! Oh, I mean Faye!” you know, like i said before, i don’t like to lie. it does seem very silly to have let this go on for so long. Tim has been a fabrication in the making for over 5 years now, he almost feels real to me. when i see Faye, i have images of my fake son, looking so handsome in his lab coat as he’s peering into a microscope looking at dust particles from a comet. i see him jogging with his dog on the beach. i see him hiking and biking and climbing. i see him helping an elderly woman with her groceries. it’s a true testament that if you lie, or let a lie go on for a while, it becomes a solid thing that you have to keep up with. oddly enough, i don’t lose sleep on this lie. i don’t see her often enough to fib about this on a daily or consistent level. Faye never cared anything about me or my life until she had something to try to one-up me on. SHE is the one losing sleep on account of her Stephen not succeeding quite like my Tim. it’s amazing how this lie has eaten her alive and made me feel proud of something that doesn’t even exist… eh well. i’ll be boarding the fake plane to Berkeley this afternoon, to celebrate Easter with my fake son. Mama’s soooo proud of you, Timmy!
This is legendary
One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.
So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.
I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.
Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.
After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”
I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.
We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.
I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS
“He died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.”
*runs out of q-tips*
Me: well it’s okay. I probably won’t need them. I’ve been getting better at not needing to really clean up my eyeliner. It’ll be fine
My eyeliner: *laughs maniacally*
depression: hey no one truly loves you and nothing you do will ever matter
me, doing a test on what jelly bean I’d be while drinking stale pepsi out of a mug: at least im not fucking licorice flavor god could you imagine
Aliens DUN DUN DUUUUUN
If aliens are real, thinking about t now must be like what people must’ve felt before anyone tried to go outside of their own country. Like “wow you know what’d be weird? If there were places outside of China.... or! Even more so- IF THERE WERE OTHER LIVING THINGS THERE WOOOOAH I KNOW WILD I THINK IM GOING CRAZY HERE DONT MIND ME AHAHAHA”
Shoutout to all the parents who threatened their children by saying things like “I now know why parents run away- kids like you” or “I’m just going to run away.” Good one. You really know how to fuck your kids up and make them think they can’t be kids and have to be perfect adults apparently unlike you :)
On a little less bad note:
Also if your the parent who gets pissy because your kid has a wrinkle in the bed instead of being pristinely made or has a cup and piece of paper resting on their desk while they are not using it but the rest of the room is clean, I hope you know how much I despise your attitude and parenting methods.
Kids make messes- it’s natural.
Children are selfish- it’s natural. They only know of their own world and their minds haven’t completely developed to the point of understanding that others have the same feelings they do.
Shoutout to all the parents who threatened their children by saying things like “I now know why parents run away- kids like you” or “I’m just going to run away.” Good one. You really know how to fuck your kids up and make them think they can’t be kids and have to be perfect adults apparently unlike you :)
Actual conversation I just had
My 7 year old son: So if a boy likes another boy, he’s gay?
Me: Maybe. But it’s not just gay or straight. There’s lots of things a person can be.
My son, nodding wisely: Like Jewish.
WTF even
Paris: GUYS! Help! Sav is choking and I need to call 911 but the 9 button doesn’t work!
Cole: Turn the phone upside down and use the 6
Paris: Genius!
Rebecca: ... guys what the fuck
Smart=Depression?
So I always here that many people throughout history who were considered geniuses typically had some sort of mental disorder (specifically speaking: Depression).
This got me thinking.... what if instead of the cold and harsh demeanor of the Erudite in the Divergent series, it was just a bunch of really sad/clinically depressed smart people?
Just a thought.
Never get THAT stoned
Recently I had laser eye surgery and this doesn’t happen to everyone but I was among the lucky few who gets hella bloodshot eyes in the weeks following because they are trying to heal.
Despite all that, I was able to work right away and you can bet your beautiful behind that I got many questioning and concerned looks as well as some understanding/stupid/pissy remarks about it all. These remarks ranged from “I have had LAYSIK too!” All the way to “Oh! You had LAYSIK done? I was about to say you look pretty stupid because you got your eyes tattooed but I understand now.
(Side note to the guy who said that last one: if you have a tumblr I hope you rot inside. I’m a caring person and am super nice but I hope you realize how much I fracking despise you. Thank you for your time telling me something I couldn’t give a patty whack about: your opinion) aaaannywaaaay
I was at work and one of my coworkers found out it was laser eye surgery and about gave birth right there in the cafe area of our store because she thought I just came to work hella stoned (she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer but she’s cute so it’s fine) and my other coworker about died while she was crying laughing saying “man I have been HELLA stoned but I’ve never been THAT Stoned.”
‘Tis just my life
Swaddling and Burrito
For those of us who got swaddled as a baby or who like turning into a burrito:
We are just going back to those calming, peaceful, stress free times when we wrap ourselves into a burrito blankie that we felt as a baby lol