[mind-altering-bugs]

The best part about turning 30 was, legitimately, unlocking the ability to use this image

[homunculus-argument]

I think going too deep into anything should warrant a balrog. You scroll too far down on your phone when you should've gotten up an hour ago, you've spent all afternoon sleuthing to figure out why your mom's former neighbour whom you haven't seen since you were 15 and don't give a fuck about got a divorce, you've been ruminating the same situation over and over and over, and a big fuckass beast thing shows up to stop you because you have delved too deep and now you have to fight the balrog.

[thestuffedalligator]

Do you think I meant to write "stoopid" google docs. Do you think I meant to describe a character as "stoopid." Do you think that is what I meant to do

[deepspacepirate]

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

[togepipi]

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

[theinturnetexplorer]

laser-free diet.

[floatingwithobrien]

y'all need to hear about gerb.

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says

“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

[fangorn-forest]

*covered in blood* how is it only tuesday

[sorypsoid]

[sunshinetomorrow]

hey there, you've arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!

are you thirty? have a sip!

are you hungry? have a spack!

have you been snitting in the sale proclation? mack your tabbers!.

are you stick? purt your indies!

do you need to prot a buntle? go! now!

are you tired? break your togs!

do a quick snat of your vitals. are you fond? do you need to reduct your plandles? if you have a trick, tog it. if you need to sitch, go so.

are you grod or too trinking? if you need to break off a grint or mend the bontle, go to that now!

I hope this helps! and I hope your tunderfal day :-)

[fragile-things-archive]

did you sleep well tonight? (I love you) we should do this one day (I love you) did you eat? (I love you) I brought you this because it's your favorite (I love you) have you taken your vitamins? (I love you) I made this for you (I love you) did you get home safe? (I love you) I made you some tea (I love you) how's the project that you're working on? (I love you) don't forget your umbrella (I love you) take my scarf (I love you) I'll wait with you (I love you) I'll wait for you (I love you) (I love you) (I love you)

[oreotiger]

i think there's a certain degree to which you have to actively go out of your way to not participate in routine in order to engage with tapestry/the astral currents/providence/luck/the spiritual equivalent of a stellar gravitational accretion disc/whatever you wanna call it, at least to some extent. some of my most meaningful experiences are random things that happen to me when i'm travelling. breaking the routine - maybe there's a neurological explanation wherein blah blah salience blah blah but also Things Work Differently and there's im too tired to finish this post

[oreotiger]

in short you're rolling on a random encounter table that's tuned personally to you. it's a good thing. try to do that more often

[oreotiger]

i think there's a certain degree to which you have to actively go out of your way to not participate in routine in order to engage with tapestry/the astral currents/providence/luck/the spiritual equivalent of a stellar gravitational accretion disc/whatever you wanna call it, at least to some extent. some of my most meaningful experiences are random things that happen to me when i'm travelling. breaking the routine - maybe there's a neurological explanation wherein blah blah salience blah blah but also Things Work Differently and there's im too tired to finish this post

[lostinhistory]

Wake up babe, new octopus just dropped

He's such a little guy!

[cheesenames]

therapyspeak palpatine

[cheesenames]

“Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that it’s very manipulative of you to keep trying to gaslight your father into turning from the dark side. Soon you will learn to respect his boundaries.”

[windona]

#therapyspeak palpatine is what he did to anakin ages 9-22 until he could throw off the whole charade & start force lightning bitches @sheepfulsheepyardinspace

[without-ado]

Lava Rivers & Streams l jvn.photo l Iceland

[mornington-the-crescent]

[lawrenceleemagnuson]

Richard Thorn (UK b. 1952) "Summer Begins" 2011 watercolor 50 x 63 cm

[dykealloy]

I call this the create a new problem technique

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.