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onlinecounsellingcollege

How to Care for an Introvert

1. Respect their need for privacy and to spend time on their own.

2. Be careful never to embarrass them in public.

3. When they are in a new situation, allow them to stand back, and watch what’s going on.

4. Allow them time to process what you’re asking or saying. Don’t demand an answer right away.

5. Be patient if they hesitate to find the right words – and never interrupt while they are speaking.

6. If you are going to change or cancel plans, give them plenty of prior notice.

7. Allow them to practice and perfect skills alone.

8. Correct or challenge them privately – never in front of an audience.

9. Don’t force them to hang out with a crowd of people, or expect them to amass a lot of friends. A few good friends is more comfortable for them.

10. Don’t try to turn them into an extrovert. Respect them for being exactly who they are.

sheekeepsmewarm

PLEASE.

He says there is nowhere to go but up...

But I don't believe that to be true.

Because even though I am at rock bottom, that doesn't mean it can't get worse. There is always a trick bottom that drops out from under you.

Sometimes I don't think there ever really is a bottom. At least until death, that is. It's just a constant battle of falling, hitting the floor, and then falling again.

Of course there is always the ability to go up. And sometimes I can. I climb and climb. Sometimes even pass some of the floors above and I can see the blood stains of my past.

There always comes a time, though, when the rocks get loose and slip out from under me. Or my arms become so exhausted that they give out and I'm left scrambling. Or I take a leap, praying to reach the next floor, only to come crashing down again.

crusoesampersand

The Quieting

Dominance and submission isn’t a job. There may be times when it seems like a task-based system of performance and reward, but that’s just a small part it. My reality is that D/s is a labor of love. That said, I don’t serve simply for his pleasure, although his pleasure is certainly my greatest reward. In some regards, I’m very much an altruist, yet I seek something from him in return for my service. I seek the quieting.

I can get a beating from my favorite tops. I can negotiate an impact scene from a trusted sadist to get what I need from a physical perspective. They can get me to subspace, but can’t quiet me.

Quieting comes from Sir. When chaos reigns in my mind, when my world is tilting off its axis, it is the quieting I need. The exchange of power in our dynamic hinges on this one key concept.

My service. My submission. My surrender.

I offer it all in exchange for just one thing.

The Quieting.

spicenwolf

Amen.

instructor144

Right there. ^^^

submissive-seeking

@crusoesampersand you have described it perfectly 💯

submissive-seeking

ALWAYS a worthy reblog …

latenights

I still ask “you promise?” like a little kid. idc.

submissive-seeking

If you would have a choice what would you say? You discovered to late the life and meaning of a submissive or would you say it was right in a perfect time for you?

I wish I had an easy answer, but I don’t. Looking back, it was always there. He was always a structured guy driven to provide and protect. I was always driven to please and distressed if I didn’t, couldn’t, or merely thought I had disappointed. We met when I was just a kid because I was friends with His sister. He’s just over 5 years older than I am. So He’s been calling me little one literally forever. So all the big D/s underpinnings were there from the beginning.

Now on any given day I might say I’m filled with deep regret for not having figured it out sooner. A lot of that is vanity. Who wouldn’t want to know what they know now in their 19 year old body? And my imagination can easily whip up the life not lived as some magical fairytale.

At exactly the right time probably doesn’t fit either though. It would have eliminated strife, heartache, and unnecessary bumps and bruises along the way if I knew better sooner.

Look, I was raised with all the same vanilla crap messages as everyone else. I was ignorant, judgemental, and fearful of bdsm and D/s. I knew little of my own body and the pleasures it could bring the both of us. It took time to understand and then find self acceptance, let alone begin to approach bdsm and D/s. Could I have done it different? No doubt. Could I be doing it better today if I’d done it different? Maybe.

Here’s what I will say, especially to newbies: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. There is no one right way and a thousand wrong ways to explore bdsm and D/s. But you will learn and grow from mistakes – yours and your partner’s. There will be pain in your growth. Change is hard. Go at your own speed. What you think/like today will probably change. And that’s okay.

I hope my answer is actually useful …

itpleaseshim

I really needed this right now.

deeplifequotes

“The right love will strengthen you, scare you, and give you the courage to share what your heart has survived.”

— Unknown

Drinking and watching 13 Reasons Why season 2.

This is a bad idea but I'm already drunk and I need to know what happens.

Break ups fucking suck and I am utterly exhausted.

you-taste-so-fucking-good-deact

sensualcuriosity

sexypisceslive-deactivated20180

This ❤️

submittodaddynow

eyebrowgod-deactivated20181204

a 90’s kid? don’t you mean sad adult?

eyebrowgod-deactivated20181204

70,000 people have reblogged this but no one is trying to defend themselves

vanilita

There is nothing to defend

lookingforshadows

#i read a post once that described 90s kids as the generation of nostalgia #because so much technological advancement happened in such a rapid timeframe when we were growing up #that we can clearly remember having technologies that are now obsolete #like going from a corded hugeass phone to a small computer in your pocket just within our formative years is a major thing #and it sparks a nostalgia for our seemly ‘simpler’ childhoods #because so much rapid development makes it seem like it was a lot longer ago than it actually was (x)

instead-of-sighs

This is the most solid explanation of our decade I have ever heard.

fakenasty

Oh my god

retr0philia

Just to add onto that, our childhood wasn’t even technology based. We grew up knowing of chalk, skateboards, jump rope, street hockey, playgrounds, butterfly collecting, etc. Slowly technology took over our lives and now there are hardly kids playing outside in the summer. We can clearly remember our childhood as it was and now we can see the clear line between it. We were the generation right smack in the middle of it all. Our parents were of non-tech and our children/young siblings will be all tech.

breelandwalker

Not to mention, ours was the last generation that grew up with all those bright promises of “work hard, go to college, and you’ll have a successful life,” only to find those hopes abruptly dashed when the housing bubble burst. Milliennials have grown up expecting that disappointment, because for them, the problem has been there since Day One.

So 90s kids aren’t just nostalgic…we’re BITTER. And we ache for those days when we could still think that the world was boundless and full of the opportunities we were promised since the first day of kindergarten.

stripedsilverfeline

Rightfully bitter.

mxponysyn-deactivated20190620

We were arguably the last ones to play outside too because he might have had a Gameboy color, but we got bored with it after a certain amount of time. We didn’t have ipads and cell phones didn’t really become conveniently mobile until 2010 or so, and even then most people just had some variation of a flip phone. We were forced to tolerate each other face to face and if you had problems with someone, you’d deal with them face to face.