Such is Life

Kerfuffle: a commotion or fuss, especially one caused by conflicting views.

[enselius]

10 Things I Hate About You:

Keep reading

[the-stranger-artist]

Aang: The path to inner peace begins with four words...

Azula: "Not my fucking problem"

[catchymemes]

[cralaofmandalore]

Shout out to the day i killed the queen via AO3, legendary (name of the fanfic is jigens sick adventure, yes it is a sickfic)

[arirna]

[legitimately]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[legitimately]

[heywriters]

Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you're helpfully like "oh yeah don't drink the tap water, it's got stuff in it that makes you sick" and then your neighbor you've had forever goes "oh they took the stuff out actually" and you're like "what? when was this?"

"like two years ago"

"you mean i could've been drinking the tap water all this time?"

"yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don't have to dig through the communal bin anymore"

"are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know"

and the new tennant is like "why did you guys even live here if it was so bad"

"we like it."

"I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho"

[direwolfs-stuff]

[andatsea]

Each year overflowing.

–

Twitter / Shop / INPRNT / Patreon

[aye-of-newt]

“my child is fine”

Your child’s favorite ao3 tags are angst and hurt/comfort

[clarabeau]

Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?

I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.

Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.

Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.

I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.

Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.

“Do you like this one?” the cashier asked, ringing me up. “Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,” I replied intensely. “That’ll be $12.01,” she said.

MOUNTAIN LODGE

[stepone]

it literally smells like waking up on a cold night to find a bearded richard armitage adding another quilt to the bed before he gets back in and pulls you snugly against his chest

I’m not fucking around I feel like I should be watching chris hemsworth in flannel and suspenders whittling a delicate masterpiece in front of a fireplace rn

[blackberrycreek]

All right, Tumblr, I saw this post a few months ago and immediately realized I had to smell this candle.  I have never in my life experienced such a burning need (pun intended) to smell what the Yankee Candle website described as a warm aroma of cedarwood and sage, but what Tumblr described as my new boyfriend.

The trouble is that nearest Yankee Candle Company store was a bit of a trek, and my schedule tended to prohibit this olfactory adventure.

So for the last few weeks, as I’d scroll my Tumblr dash and look at images of attractive manly men, I’d sigh and wistfully think, if only I could engage another sense with this image. If only I could I could truly fathom the ideal fragrance of this man.

And then this happened.

And I knew.

I knew whatever was happening, I needed to get to a Yankee Candle Company. The scent of Mountain Lodge would transport me instantly to this scene. The aroma of this infamous candle could make me live out a self-insertion Avengers fanfic.

So I got in my car, made the drive, and located the Yankee Candle Company.  The store was crowded with holiday shoppers. My nose was immediately assaulted by hundreds of warring scents.  

I battled through the sea of humanity and the Angel Wings-Merry Marshmallow-Magical Frosted Forest assault, buoyed on by my need to understand what Steve Rogers ripping a log in half with his bare hands smelled like.

I waded toward the back of the store, only to discover the man candle section seems to have been discontinued. What was I going to steady myself on, once I found my scented gateway to hanging out with the Avengers on Hawkeye’s farm? I felt lost, adrift, unable to find my bearings amid Soft Blanket-Fluffy Towels-Home Sweet Home.

And then… rising from the “Fresh” display, there it was.

Mountain Lodge.

It was the moment of truth. What would it be like to smell this infamous candle?

I opened the lid. I took a deep breath.

And I giggled.

Ah yes.  This was it.  This gentle, pleasantly masculine fragrance, in fact, reduced me to what I’d probably do in the actual presence of Chris Evans: giggle like an idiot.

The smell makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me gently swoon: all reactions that, indeed, can be elicited by an ideal man. I can barely handle the true power of Mountain Lodge.

Several months have passed since this discovery. I have regaled friends with the saga, and after hearing of it, they, too, felt the burning need to smell the candle.  One by one, we have all become Mountain Lodge converts. In times of need, this candle is our refuge. Our group has developed escapist superpowers, infused by the Yankee Candle Company. 

THE CANDLE, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND.  

MOUNTAIN LODGE.

[madame-vashtranerada]

This is how you do advertisement

[theyankeecandle]

we love everything about all of this. We will always be there for you, just light your Mountain Lodge candle and know that our love burns bright for you.

[riggedbones-moving]

my mouse is. dying

[riggedbones-moving]

@liquidstar i’m afraid taking him somewhere will make it worse… whenever he moves he makes a depressed little cry that sounds a lot like the windows disconnecting noise

[liquidstar]

OH. ILL GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

john green didn’t “deserve” the way that early ‘10s tumblr treated him technically, but I feel like the discussion around whether he “deserved” it or not is completely missing the point. he was an adult in a space that was largely recreationally used by teenagers. why would he not get the substitute teacher treatment. what else did you think would occur here.

[failed-mad-scientist]

X-Men - Russell Dauterman

[lyctor]

Gideon the Ninth / Harrow the Ninth / Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir Cover art by Tommy Arnold

[maddiesharafian]

Silly girl, how long have you been standing there?

[htbmonstersrp]

SUPERSTITIONS ON THE HIGH SEAS

TATTOOS & PIERCINGS These are said to ward off evil spirits

SPIT INTO THE OCEAN Before you sail will bring you good luck

TOSS IN A COIN Tossing a coin in the ocean before you depart is said to pay a toll to the god of the ocean. It will bring safe passage.

GOLDEN EARRINGS Were said to give better eyesight and protect from drowning.

RED SKY “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight; red sky in the morning, sailors take warning”

WHISTLING Never whistle on a boat for you will “whistle up a storm”.

RIGHT FOOT FIRST Always step onto a ship with your right foot first. Stepping with your left is sure to bring disaster.

RE-NAMING A BOAT Bad luck will fall on the crew if a boat is renamed without a proper de-naming ceremony.

LOSING YOUR HAT Losing your hat overboard is a sign that the trip will be a long one.

BANANAS Bananas should not be brought onboard a ship or they would cause the ship to be lost

SHARKS A shark following alongside the boat is a sign of inevitable death. Turtles are said to bring good luck so carrying their bones in your pocket can save you from this inevitable death

ALBATROSS These birds are said to be the soul of a dead sailor. Killing one will bring bad fortune to everyone on board. To right this one must tie the body of the bird to the neck of the murderer and tie them to the main mast.

RINGING BELL If a bell were to ring on its own its a sign that someone on board will die.