regulus black

"living beyond your years, acting out all their fears, you feel it in your chest."

[dogstarsiirivs-blog]

{ futile devices } regulus&sirius

An explosion. Screams. Rushing out, into the cobbled street, people running everywhere. A shop, flames dancing through the shattered glass. A woman sobbing, face bloodied, curled over a body. Red and blue and green lights shooting past, colliding with brick and flesh. Masked figures, and innocents - too many - pushing past him, trying to leave, soft pops of Disapparation around him.

A face - one face - holds his attention. In the crowd, too close to the masked figures; scared.

“Regulus…?”

He reaches, reaches - just a little bit farther, just a little - Fire cracks to his right, explodes, engulfs the street - a little, only a little -

Sirius’ eyes flung open and he sat up, breath coming in heavy pants, t-shirt clinging to damp skin. It took a moment to orient himself to his surroundings, Regulus’ face burned in his mind, but he managed to focus on the cool floor beneath his bare feet and the chilled air that came with forgetting to pay his heating bill, again. He managed to make out the shape of his muggle record player across the room, and the scattered clothes on the floor he had disrobed and simply left. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heel of his hands against his closed eyelids, taking a deep breath. “Fucking hell.”

Try as he might to distract himself, Sirius hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Regulus since the day of the attack. He had tried taking on extra work for the Order, had tried picking up extra shifts at work, but there was inevitably downtime, and his mind would inevitably wander.Which was ridiculous, really, because how long had he gone without worrying about his prat of a brother? Years. Years, without a spared moment towards him - or at least that’s what he had convinced himself. The truth, of course, was that hardly a day went by where he didn’t worry about Regulus and what he was doing: what he had been dragged into doing and what he now willingly did. The latter kept him awake at night.

Sirius groaned and pushed himself up from where he had fallen asleep on the sofa. He needed to get out, clear his head. Distract himself. That was all there was to do today, anyway. He grabbed his leather jacket, pocketed his wand, and slipped on his combat boots before he turned in place and Disapparated from his flat with a soft pop. When his feet finally hit the ground, he was standing in front of Andromeda’s residence.

She was his only blood relative left that he was on speaking terms with, and that was often a comfort to Sirius. Andromeda, like himself, was a blood traitor, but she was a brilliant witch and an even better person. Maybe - just maybe - she was proof that he was worth something, even though he was a blood traitor and a disgrace. If nothing else, Andromeda could relate losing her relationship with her sisters, and that was something. Besides, Sirius enjoyed his cousin’s company. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself to ward off the cool January air, and he trudged up to the front door and gently rapped against the wood.

@its-regblck

[its-regblck-blog]

Staying with Andromeda was starting to grate on his nerves-- he loved his cousin and everything she had done for him, but he needed to move on.  The sight of her with her family was wearing on him.  He hated that he had likely ruined any chance of being able to have that, and it was killing him.  He just wanted to go somewhere quiet where he could figure out exactly what he wanted.

He was always hesitant to answer the door at Andromeda’s house-- part of him always worried that it would be his mum or Rodolphus, there to drag him by his ear back to the house of Black; he wasn’t sure how they’d react at this point, to be honest.  Either they’d kill him or they’d patronize him and treat him as though it were some temper tantrum-- but he didn’t care to find out, especially not after Lucius’s death.  His family was unhinged and he wanted nothing to do with them.

But today he decided to throw caution to the wind and answer the door-- what did he have to lose, because a life in Andromeda’s spare room wasn’t the life he wanted to live.  He opened the door and his eyes widened when he saw his brother on the other side of the heavy wood.  “Sirius?”

[its-regblck-blog]

it’s a matter of trust(flashback);; elara&reg

[its-regblck-blog]

elaraxbloom:

How Elara managed to find herself in the middle of a mess that put two lives, and potentially her own now, at risk she didn’t know. Being studious was supposed to be a good thing yet here she was, trapped between a rock and a hard place, all because she had needed a different book to finish her paper. Finding a corner of the library that was quiet so no one would overhear, she turned toward Regulus putting her books down on the table beside her to give her arms a rest. 

“First of all, I know exactly what I saw. It took me slightly longer than I care to admit to put the pieces together, but I did. You forget all of us Purebloods are trained the same way. To notice signs of traitors.” She sighed as she shook her head. Her heart was telling her to keep this close, but she knew how dangerous that could become. “I may not see you that way, but I don’t know if you realize what you’re asking me to do, Regulus. If this gets out and anyone finds out that I knew and didn’t say anything I could be in danger too. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but…” she trailed off, looking down at her feet as her mind warred with what to do. “I just don’t know what to do yet, okay?” 

Calm down.  Play the part.  Play the game.  Be what she wants to see.

His mantras usually worked, muttering those words in his mind was often enough to calm him down.  Usually he could remember who he was and the stakes of maintaining the character the Black family wanted to see.  But this didn’t just involve him, this also involved Daisy, and he couldn’t let Elara’s fear touch her in anyway.  “I think,” he hesitated, not sure of the right thing here.  Usually it was easy for him, to pull out the words that someone wanted to here, but he didn’t know Elara Bloom well enough to be able to do that.  He didn’t know her end goal.

“But that is exactly what will happen if you tell,” he counted, a touch of desperation in his voice.  “it’ll get back to my mum, and I’ll get pushed around a bit.”  It’d be worse than that, likely.  He remembered his mother condoning the use of the Cruciatus Curse on Sirius if he were found alone-- he was certain that fraternizing with a Muggleborn was more than enough to earn him an official blood traitor title.  “but it’ll really effect Daisy-- she’ll move right to the top of all their lists, they’ll think she’s trying to work her way into a Sacred 28 family.  If you keep your mouth shut we’ll all be fine.  No one else will catch us, and even if they did no one has to know that you know.”

[mrs-txnks]

Mornings were relatively quiet in the Tonks household. Especially on Saturdays when Ted would take Dora to spend time with his parents. Andromeda had felt no obligation to attend the past couple of weeks. Instead, Andromeda intended on accompanying her own family. Regulus had been staying there for a couple weeks now. Andromeda recalled her sense of dismemberment when she had left the Black Household. It was months of feeling unstable. It was as though you were stuck in purgatory. No idea where to go or what to do with yourself. It was almost crucial to keep yourself safe or even hide away. If it hadn’t of been for Ted’s family, Andromeda wouldn’t have left the house for months after her running away. 

Feeling particularly sluggish, Andromeda moved slowly into the kitchen. The quiet of the house on a Saturday morning was always one to be appreciated, everything seemed clear and it gave time to think. Noticing her cousin at the dining room table, Andromeda nodded towards him. Yawning silently into her hand as she managed the words, “Morning.” The lifestyle that Andromeda now had was fairly different to that of a Black’s expectation. No longer were the house elves responsible for feeding you. You had to do for yourself which Andromeda took some time getting used to. She had left not knowing how to make any sort of food. It took alot of moulding. Andromeda never knew how sheltered the Black Family was until one moment, the roof of protection was tore around her. Bluntly introducing her to the mundane tasks of normal wizards and witches. 

Gesturing towards the cooker, Andromeda tightened the tassels on her dressing gown. “Would you like breakfast? I’m thinking of having eggs, if you would like some.” She asked Regulus, attempting to shake her sleepiness from her system. Andromeda was worried for Regulus, she was determined to be there for him as much as a she could. Ease him into the ways of ordinary life. “How are you feeling?” Andromeda inquired, a serious tone to her voice. “Have you thought anymore about…” She trailed off, a furrow in her brow. Turning her wand towards the coffee pot, waiting on it to brew. 

@its-regblck

[its-regblck-blog]

He had always been a morning person-- like most things in his life, he wasn’t sure if that was who he truly was or if it was who his family trained him to be, but all the same he found himself enjoying the time he spent awake before the sun rose.  It was refreshing, in a way, being awake when the rest of the world still slept.  It was like a brand new start, and Merlin knew he could use his fair share of those.

Andromeda had been so kind in taking him in-- he hadn’t doubted her for a second, but he supposed he hadn’t really known her all that well either; he had been fairly young when she left, too young to know that she was just choosing her path, same as he was right now.  He was so grateful to her, and he was absolutely certain he’d never find a way to repay her.  “If it’s not too much trouble,” he mumbled, answering her question-- that was another thing he loved about being away.  No one here yelled at him to sit up straight, to speak clearly.  He was allowed to be himself, and while he wasn’t sure that he liked who he was, he was still marveling in the freedom.  “I promise I’ll figure it all out soon.  I don’t want you to feel like I’m...” a burden, a mess, your responsibility.  “I don’t know.”

He shrugged.  “Did James talk to you?  He helped me out of Diagon Alley, and he makes a really compelling argument.  I don’t know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want... does that even make sense?”

[its-regblck-blog]

it’s a matter of trust(flashback);; elara&reg

[its-regblck-blog]

elaraxbloom:

Hand holding wasn’t a crime, at least it shouldn’t be in Elara’s books. When she had first seen Regulus and Daisy holding hands it hadn’t even dawned on her that it could be considered wrong, until she remembered Regulus’ family. The son of a family known to be blood purists sneaking around with a muggleborn was quite the story and made Elara privy to some useful information, but how could she justifiably use it like that? She herself was a muggleborn- not that anyone knew that- and knew how ridiculous it was for interactions between purebloods and muggleborns to be considered traitorous. Sure, it could help confirm her status as a pureblood, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to if it meant hurting two people whose only crime was spending time together.  

Turning to see one half of the source of her worry half walking-half jogging towards her Elara sighed and waited patiently for Regulus to catch up to her. As she waited she chewed her lip debating what to say to the Slytherin boy. She knew exactly why he was looking for her and knew that she could only avoid this conversation for so long. Putting on a small smile she nodded at Regulus as he approached her side, adjusting the books in her arms before speaking.  “Black; I was just about to head to the library to return these, care to join me?”

He nodded, walking alongside her as he turned over what he wanted to say in his mind-- he wasn’t even sure what she had seen, and he wanted to be sure before he gave her any unnecessary ideas.  He didn’t want to confirm anything she only had suspicions about, but he also didn’t want this to get back to his family.  He wanted to say that it was for pure selfless reasons, but Bellatrix and his mum scared him.

When they entered the library he followed her until he was sure that they were away from everyone else.  He had to make sure no one else overheard or else  he would only be perpetuating the issue.  “Elara, I--” he swallowed, not sure what to say to her.  How did he ask this without giving her more information that she needed.  “I don’t know what you think you saw, but...” he trailed off, running a tired hand over his face.  “I can see why you’d have gotten the wrong impression, but you have to know how bad it would be for me if that wrong impression got back to the wrong ears.”

[daisiesxhook-blog]

Choking Up These Words ( Daisy & Regulus)

[its-regblck-blog]

daisiesxhook:

Distantly, Daisy heard the door open. And yet, she found absolutely nothing in her to look, to protect herself if need be. Why should she? Her brown eyes continued to stare blankly, only blinking hen whoever it was that walked into her home sat beside her. Sniffing, she felt her breath stop as the familiar voice filled her ears. It was like a deaf man hearing a melodious sound. Turning her head slowly, empty eyes connected with the gray gaze that left her speechless most times. Not hard now. 

His words were jumbled in her head, hard to understand. She could feel the quick blinking of her eyes as she tried to make sense through the haze that clouded her mind. “I don’t-,” the witch paused, her words barely a whisper. It almost hurt. She was never used to not talking, and apparently neither was her throat. It itched as the rasp came out of her mouth. Clearing her throat, Daisy continued. “I don’t know either. I’m no better than them.”

He shook his head, sitting next to her immediately.  He knew she couldn’t see him, but he couldn’t make his voice work.  It appalled him, to his very core, that she thought herself even close to the same level as the Death Eaters.  He knew cruelty-- he was related to a fair few monsters.  He knew what evil looked like, and Daisy was as far from evil as one could get.  She was gentle and soft and beautiful... there was no bad in her, but he didn’t know how to convince her of that fact.

“You aren’t,” he said, his voice cracking.  “You were protecting Charity-- who do you think they’re protecting?  Nothing but their messed up ideology.  You’re nothing like them.”  He sighed.  “But I understand if that’s hard for you to believe.  The--” he paused, having never really opened up about his time with the Death Eaters.  “the first time they made me hurt someone I was devastated.  I had to fake a cold, because I couldn’t bear to look anyone in the eye.  I felt so low... like the worst human on the planet.  But I realized a long time ago that it’s our intentions that define us, love.  Did you mean to hurt them because you thought it was fun?  Or were you just doing what you had to do to save your friend?”

[its-regblck-blog]

it’s a matter of trust(flashback);; elara&reg

He swallowed roughly, feeling nauseous as he walked through the familiar halls.  He didn’t want to speak to Elara, but he knew that he had to-- he knew what he had to do, but he felt sick.  He knew that spending time with Daisy was risky-- he knew that it was stupid to hold her hand, to have any kind of physical contact.  But the one time he allowed himself that moment of happiness he was caught.

They were caught by Elara.

It wasn’t as though they were doing anything especially incriminating-- holding hands was fairly innocent as far as contact went-- but his mum wouldn’t see it that way.  Bellatrix wouldn’t see it that way.  He had to figure out what Elara thought she saw, and he had to find a way to keep her quiet.  He didn’t much care what happened to him, but he wouldn’t let this touch Daisy.

“Bloom!”  He shouted as he saw her at the opposite end of the corridor.  Usually he’d catch up to her before speaking at all, but this whole day had him panicking in a way that was completely foreign to him.  He wasn’t usually like this.  He hurried to catch up to her, not completely convinced that she had heard him at all.

@elaraxbloom

[its-regblck-blog]

severedprince:

No one likes you, Severus. It was like prodding at a bruise that had just begun to heal, only to be reminded of the pain beneath it. Regulus’ words weren’t new information by any means, not something that Severus didn’t already know, but that didn’t stop it from stinging.

“Don’t. Talk. About. Her. Like. That,” Severus snarled, each word punctuated by a heavily weighted pause. Lily wasn’t some thing to be won; even Severus recognized that. She’d chosen her own way, and hadn’t chosen him, and that hurt, but Severus wasn’t about to let Regulus drag her name into their argument, not when it had nothing to do with her. He mentally pictured setting Regulus Black ablaze. It was a comforting thought. “Don’t drag Potter into this either. I detest him,” he growled with all the force one would expect following years of intense hatred and jealousy, “but yet somehow I still have more respect for him than you. At least he was wise enough to pick a side an stick to it, not pick and choose what ideology to follow whenever it suited him best.”

Despite all of Regulus’ provocations, Severus was gratified to see that he was at least shaken by the reminder of Lucius. “I’ve made myself useful; there’s no shame in that. And likewise.. enjoy your place with them. They’ll never trust you. I’m sure they’re just waiting for you to stab them in the back, for you to prove yourself the double-crossing coward that you are. Can’t wait to see how that plays out.” He gave a cold, sarcastic smile.  

He couldn’t blame him for getting upset there-- that had been a low comment, and he was right for once in his life.  No one should be talked about as though they were a prize to be won in some game-- especially not someone that had recently helped him so much, someone he was sure tried to work past the stigma that Severus Snape had left on her life.  He didn’t even comment on his return, because it was justified.  He shouldn’t have gone there.  Part of him felt like he should defend Potter, especially after what he had done for him today, but mostly he just wanted to move on from this conversation.

“How long can that last though?”  Severus could be a decent bloke if he’d get out from under the thumb of people who looked at him as nothing more than a pawn used to perpetuate their own agenda.  “Eventually they’ll find a Pureblood that’s as good as, if not better than you, at Potions.  Then what purpose will you serve?”

[frankielongx]

Merry Christmas Regulus, 

I know that it’s not much, but I saw these two things and thought of you. I hope you had a great Christmas, and if you wanted to come over for dinner sometime, the invitation is still open. The book’s not what it seems (really just some pretty cool spells that us Aurors learn in the academy). I hope it’ll be interesting to you! 

Best wishes,

Frank

@its-regblck

[its-regblck-blog]

Narcissa ( @widowcd ),

I never meant to hurt you-- I had to do this for me, and I hope that one day you’’ll understand.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.  You were the only family that stood by me-- you were the only one I knew still cared for all of those years.

I am so sorry that I can’t be there with you now.  Be strong.  Be brave.  Your story isn’t over yet.  The bracelet is for you and the stuffed animal for Draco.

I love you, cousin.

Regulus.

[its-regblck-blog]

Potter ( @ofprvngs ),

Thank you.

Regulus

[its-regblck-blog]

Sirius ( @bblackksiriuss ),

This is the worst gift, I know-- but in all fairness it’s been a number of years since I really knew you.  I miss you, brother.  I know things are a lot right now, but maybe we can fix it one day.  I’d like to try.

Merry Christmas,

Regulus

[its-regblck-blog]

severedprince:

Severus simply shook his head, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. Severus knew the other Death Eaters thought themselves better than him; that wasn’t news. He was only a halfblood, after all. It was Regulus’ implication of choice that angered him instead.  “You chose the Dark Lord, and then you turned your back,” he spit. “So you see, you’ve earned my contempt less so through a personal wrong than through your whole, general… existence.” 

He smiled in cold satisfaction when Regulus closed his eyes. So he was affected. “You didn’t answer the question. I ran into Narcissa the other day, just for a moment. Her son will grow up with out a father because of you,” he tossed out casually. “Maybe Lucius wouldn’t have been a very good father in the long run… but we’ll never know now, will we?” Severus barely knew the Malfoys, but he could only hope that his words would inspire even more guilt in Regulus. He wanted Regulus to burn from the inside out, he thought savagely; that seemed to be the only consequence for his treachery that the younger wizard might face.

Stepping aside with a sarcastic, flourishing bow, Severus moved to let the muttering coward pass him. “Go ahead, walk away like you always do. Enjoy it while you can.”

“Ironic,” he muttered, “coming from the person whose existence seems to bother much of the world-- no one like you, Severus.  I’ll bet you’re on your way to go sit at home and pine after that Mudbl--” he hesitated, internally cursing.  He didn’t want to say that word anymore.  “that Muggleborn.  But Potter won-- just another person who is better than you.”

“Lucius would have been a wonderful father,” he snapped, running a frustrated hand through his hair.  He could play his part until Lucius was brought into the conversation.  Would his guilt ever die down, or would it flare up everytime something triggered his memories of his cousin.  “Enjoy your spot with the Death Eaters, Severus-- they only let you stay because you’re alright with a cauldron.  I heard Bellatrix tell Rodolphus that before I left.”

[its-regblck-blog]

severedprince:

Insufferable prat? Severus nearly laughed in disbelief at the younger wizard’s audacity. That was not nearly the worst name he’d been called, and it meant nothing coming from someone as gutless as Regulus Black. “Always, or so I’ve been told. But you’re right, I’ve saved a special reserve especially for you. You’ve certainly earned it,” Severus sneered, taking a step forward towards where Regulus stood in the street. 

Severus had done his duty. He’d followed orders, fought in the latest battle, been seriously injured. He would keep doing his duty, and with luck, one day it would pay off. But Regulus? Despite his status and standing, despite a family that cared about him, had turned and run at the first sign of trouble. And now Regulus, confronted with a simple inquisition of his traitorous behavior, was standing there and rolling his eyes, as if his betrayal was nothing. 

Severus clenched his fists. “I don’t know why they’ve left you alive.” But he did know, really. Because he was a Black, a spoiled Pureblood brat. It was infuriating. He could only hope that one day very soon the higher-ups would come to their senses and realize that the only worth Regulus Black had was as a warning sign, dead. Just like his cousin-in-law. “You let Lucius Malfoy die for you. Aren’t you even a little ashamed?” 

“Have I?”  He chuckled, no trace of humor in his words nor his laughter.  “Have personally wronged you in some way that I’m unaware of?  Because, funny me for thinking so, but I always assumed my choices were my own-- and it’s not my problem if my choice has frustrated you in some way, or damaged your laughable desire to get in with those who perceive themselves as better than you.”

He was a Black-- he had grown up, consistently hearing that he was better than other Purebloods, that he was definitely better than a sad halfblood masquerading himself as a Pureblood-- he didn’t necessarily believe that anymore, but it definitely aided in explaining his attitude toward Severus.  He had no trouble sticking around for this conversation, whereas with most Death Eaters he would have apparated away by now-- and he knewe that it was because he wasn’t afraid of him.

“You let Lucius Malfoy die for you.”

He closed his eyes, willing himself to withhold any reaction to those words-- he wouldn’t, couldn’t, let him know just how much it stung to hear those words spoken by someone else.  He was so filled with shame, so guilty, over what happened to Lucius.  “Go to hell,” he muttered, moving to step around him again.

[its-regblck-blog]

ofprvngs:

He knew Daisy Hookum, at least a little; he trusted her well enough not to spoil Regulus’s location, though he was blind as to the nature of relationship. Nevertheless, Daisy Hookum had always been an unproblematic presence in his life; perhaps he could take time once the chaos had died to speak with her, to ensure that she not say a word of this to anyone. Surely it would take no convincing at all – he needn’t worry himself with her knowledge of his escape now. 

“I’ll talk to Daisy,” James nodded, more for himself than Regulus – though he was sure that Regulus would want to see her safe either way – and glanced over his shoulder, half expecting to see the younger girl standing in the mouth of the alley, watching and waiting to see what James did next, “after all of this dies down. She won’t say a word, I’m sure; and neither will I.” Behind him, the chaos was audibly drawing nearer; he could almost feel the blast of each hex thrown with haphazard fury upon his back. There was little time to dally; neither of them could afford to be hesitant anymore – should they linger here discussing the specifics of Regulus’s change of heart, they’d not live long enough to see it out. 

A hex hit the corner of the crumbling brick at the end of the alley, sending rubble and debris scattering across the cobblestones in a cloud of dust. “Time to go, then,” James clipped, with a wide-eyed cursory glance over his shoulder and a cough as the dust enveloped them – he could see bodies through the dust, approaching, watching; they’d have little time before they were recognized. “Hold on,” he instructed, voice rising over the approaching noise; throwing caution to the wind, he lunged forward and took Regulus by the arm. With a pop and a flurry of displaced dust, they disappeared from the alley. It was only when they landed in the snow outside the home he shared with Lily in Godric’s Hollow that he realized he had left Sirius and Marlene behind. 

“You alright?”

He hoped James’s silence extended as far his relationship with Daisy as well-- he loved her, and he certainly didn’t want the fact that he was associated with her to have an consequences; he could shoulder them all himself, but he didn’t want them to touch her.  “She’ll be... confused,” he mumbled.  “I wasn’t supposed to be gone all that long.”

He had just enough time to prepare himself when he saw James’s intention, focusing on the task at hand.  It would be exactly his luck to get himself splinched in the midst of a battle.  Things never went his way, and he didn’t really expect that to change now, even if he was James Potter’s next charity case.

Because that was what this had to be, right?  Privledged, only child, pureblood boy rescues those lost to the darkness?  He must have some deep, latent guilt for the favorable way in which he was raised-- but it wasn’t like he was going to hold that against him, not right now.  Not after he may have literally just saved his life.

He nodded, looking around.  It wasn’t anything like what he’d expect James Potter to reside in-- he expected grandeur, but this was small and cozy.  It was little, but he immediately felt at ease.  “I’m fine.  Are you?  I apologize for my...” he trailed off, not sure the right word to use.  Hopefully Potter understood.

[its-regblck-blog]

severedprince:

When Severus spun around, his eyes widened minutely. “Ah, Regulus Black,” Severus said in an obviously feigned tone of friendliness. “What have you been up to these days? Other than jumping ship, that is.”

Severus’ face darkened in resentment. He had a number of problems with Regulus. Not appreciating the status he had, being able to switch sides at the drop of a hat and face no consequences, being just the sort of coward that the other side always accused the Death Eaters of being in the first place. His relationship to one Sirius Black. His general pathetic presence. The list went on and on, really.

“I’m sure you are,” he remarked, stepping into Regulus’ path and leaning down, cranning his neck to look up into Regulus’ face to meet his gaze, Severus’ eyes staring daggers with a spiteful intent. “Why should I let you pass, seems to be the question at hand.”

He rolled his eyes-- some Death Eater he would have up and disapparated already; there were some he couldn’t have handled coming across.  His cousin was at the top of that list. But Severus Snape?  He didn’t fancy himself particularly intimidating, but Severus was the definition of someone whose bark was worse than his bite.  He was good at the painful words, but his reach didn’t go much further than that.

So he wasn’t particularly concerned for his safety, but he also didn’t really want to stick around and hear what he had to say.

“I think the real question at hand is whether you’re always an insufferable prat or if you’ve reserved it all just for me.”  He sighed, taking a step back.  If Severus wanted to do this he’d get a willing partner in him-- he was quite tired of people feeling like they could walk all over him.

[sevinspo-blog]

The Minister was dead. And if the rumors were true and the Dark Lord had been there, it was almost certainly his doing. The Minister was dead, along with 124 others… though no one Severus knew personally, at least as far as he could tell. The largest mass attack in months. All things considered, it had seemed to have gone well for their side.

But as a result, things were distinctly… off-balance. The backbone of Ministry had been uprooted, their government had been thrown into chaos. And the people as well: St. Mungo’s was surely packed, and others were still searching the streets, or grieving if they were unlucky enough to find who they were looking for too late. It was only the next day, and yet already a familiar air of fear and paranoia had seemed to return to pervade the atmosphere. 

Severus, too, was on high alert. People were unpredictable in times like these, and it couldn’t hurt to be more attentive than usual. As such, he noticed when the crunch of boot-on-snow doubled; he could hear someone else’s footsteps a distance behind him. “What do you want?” he muttered sharply as he whirled around, hand already reaching inside his jacket for his wand just in case. 

[its-regblck-blog]

He saw Severus Snape and tried to walk around him-- he tried to keep his head down and not attract attention; he had never liked Snape.  He always seemed a bit too earnest, a bit too eager to do what it took to rise to the top.  And he had always seemed to dislike Regulus for some reason or another-- he had always assumed it had been because he hadn’t had to have worked as hard for the advantages that Snape was grappling for, but he wasn’t sure.

If he was right he was sure that the man wouldn’t be thrilled to see him now, now that he left.  He sincerely doubted he started anything in public, but Regulus’s hand went for his wand just in case.

He wasn’t confident in many areas, but he knew he was good enough to get away from this situation if the need arose.

“Just trying to get past,” he muttered, his eyes on the sidewalk.

[its-regblck-blog]

ofprvngs:

“Good.” 

He wasn’t hurt – that was a start. But they both would be more than hurt if they lingered here for much longer; the sound of spells like gunfire grew closer and closer by the moment, as the chaos moved down the street in stately procession. James dared a single step forward, hands slowly moving up to stand by his head in mock surrender. Then, after a flinch as a bit of wall at the end of the alley crumbled, he pocketed his wand. It lay just within reach; he would be remiss to put it away entirely. As crucial as it was that Regulus trust him, it was equally as important that they not fall beneath a barrage of hexes in the process. 

There was a large part of him that urged to soliloquize, to tell him that this was not a trap, that he truly did want to help him as he’d helped his brother; he wanted to hold out his hand and beg him to understand – James was not the enemy. On the contrary, he was likely the only hope that Regulus had of getting out of this alleyway without a price on his head, or a stray hex in the back. James would gladly take a hex before Regulus – just as soon as he would take a hex for Sirius, for Remus, for Lily, Peter, Marlene. 

James cast a glance over his shoulder at the mouth of the alley; his discarded bag of groceries had not yet been entirely trampled by the herd of people, and was still a telling reminder that he had existed there. “Did anyone see you?” he questioned, turning back to Regulus, “Did anyone know that you were here?” They could go back to their place; Remus wouldn’t tell anyone, and neither would Lily. “I can apparate us out of here, but we need to cover both our tracks – it’s gonna be okay, Regulus. I promise.”

He trusted Potter.  That wasn’t the issue.

The problem was convincing himself that he deserved his help-- he hadn’t had a choice growing up.  It was his family’s way or it was the door.  There was no unconditional love in the Black house.  From the moment he was able to reason, he knew that his family’s love for him was contingent upon how well he could play a part.  The knowledge left him broken-- how was he supposed to trust another person’s compassion when they stood to gain nothing from it?  That wasn’t how compassion worked... that wasn’t his experience with love.

But what other choice did he have?  Did he continue to walk alone through life, wondering if he’d ever feel worth it, good enough?  Or did he trust the person that had seemed to have helped his brother so much?  Sirius was better off for trusting James Potter... maybe there was enough compassion left in him to help Regulus too.

He shook his head, answering his question finally.  “I don’t think so,” he whispered.  “I was with--” he winced, about to blow his biggest secret.  But he thought that it would be okay.  “Daisy-- Daisy Hookum.  She knows I’m here.  But no one other than that.”  He nodded, his wand pointed at the ground as he took another step closer to James.  “Okay.  Okay.”