Obligatory - I’m not dead just bad at writing. I’m sure this is full of errors, grammar and spelling but…. hey it’s an update.
A03 Link
“Geillis, you speak Gaelic right?”
Claire watched as the pen paused and hovered over the paperwork Geillis was filling out.
“Aye,” she said slowly.
“Could you… I don’t know the spelling. What does “Mo khiddle” mean?” Claire was certain she had botched the word and it sounded nothing like how Jamie said it. It was much breathier, but rougher (and about a thousand times sexier) when he said it.
“Mo khiddle?” Geillis repeated with her eyebrows scrunched over her forehead.
“It’s something like that. More… I don’t know… more air in it,” Claire answered, her inflection rising at the end as if it was a question.
“Well,” Geillis paused, “‘Mo’ means ‘My’ and ‘khiddle’ is’na a word.” Geillis looked at her paperwork again starting to fill in the details on her patients file. She bit her lip as she tried to think.
Claire rehearsed the word in her head. Jamie has said it to her several times in the night. A few of those times had been when he was deep asleep and her name was in the mix of the words she didn’t understand.
Claire clicked her pen nervously. Jamie had said that he “thought” he was “falling” in love with her. Not that he “was already in” love with her. In all honesty Claire thought that she was in love with him as well but she had repeatedly told herself that it was much too soon for that and she was probably just infatuated.
“Khreah,” Claire said under her breath. She was trying to get it to sound the same way that Jamie said it and she knew that she was falling short.
“Khreach?” Geillis repeated as the scratching of her pen stopped abruptly.
Claire looked up hopefully, maybe she hadn’t got it as wrong as she thought.
“That sounds exactly the same to me,” Claire shrugged. “What does it mean?”
“Where did ye hear it?” Geillis asked cautiously.
“Is it something bad?”
“No, not at all, it’s just uhhh it’s quite erm, personal.”
“Personal?” Claire asked in confusion.
“Aye, ye ken in French ye say ‘j’aime’ when ye like something, ‘j’adore’ when ye love something. But when ye… ye have that feeling about someone, ye truly love someone ye say somethin’ like ‘je suis amoureux’, it’s similar in Gaelic. The word ‘heart’ in a medical sense is ‘Cridhe’, but then when ye want to express to someone, erm, the proverbial heart it changes to ‘Chridle’. So, it would mean ‘My Heart’ but not in the sense of ‘I’m having a heart attack’, but more like… ‘you are my heart’. Does that make sense?”
Claire swallowed a few times before she could respond and nodded weakly.
“More to the point,” Geillis continued in a businesslike fashion, “where did ye hear it?”
“Oh, just… around. A movie, I think.” Claire lied quickly- aiming for nonchalance but missed the mark by a mile as her voice shook and her cheeks flushed red.
“A movie?” Geillis repeated, clearly unconvinced. “Someone said it to ye?” Geillis guessed as her pen slammed down on top of her paperwork. “Jamie said it to ye?” She guessed again, her voice rising an octave.
“He might have mentioned it,” Claire all but whispered, concentrating very heavily on the file in front of her, pretending to be absorbed while also trying to hide her flaming face.
“What did he say!” Geillis demanded, turning her body fully toward Claire.
“Well,” Claire paused, taking a steadying breath. “He said that, and uh… that he wanted to see me again, and uhh…”
“I mean, in what context did he say it,” Geillis interrupted.
“Oh, uh, he said it in his sleep.”
“So he slept over,” Geillis grinned.
“Well, yeah, and uh, he said it another time, when we were… you know… together.”
Geillis almost shrieked with laughter, “In the throws of passion then! What a poet!”
“Shhh!” Claire hissed as one of the Senior Nurses passed them with a disappointed glare.
“Ye have to tell me everything!”
“I just have,” Claire disagreed as she closed her completed patient file and picked up the next.
“Ye’ve barely told me anything at all.” Geillis looked back at her file and started to write hastily. “Don’t walk away from me Beauchamp! I want more details.” Claire shook her head at her friend, smiling, and made her way back to triage.
Obligatory - I’m not dead just bad at writing. I’m sure this is full of errors, grammar and spelling but.... hey it's an update.
A03 Link
“Geillis, you speak Gaelic right?”
Claire watched as the pen paused and hovered over the paperwork Geillis was filling out.
“Aye,” she said slowly.
“Could you… I don’t know the spelling. What does “Mo khiddle” mean?” Claire was certain she had botched the word and it sounded nothing like how Jamie said it. It was much breathier, but rougher (and about a thousand times sexier) when he said it.
“Mo khiddle?” Geillis repeated with her eyebrows scrunched over her forehead.
“It’s something like that. More... I don’t know… more air in it,” Claire answered, her inflection rising at the end as if it was a question.
“Well,” Geillis paused, “‘Mo’ means ‘My’ and ‘khiddle’ is’na a word.” Geillis looked at her paperwork again starting to fill in the details on her patients file. She bit her lip as she tried to think.
Claire rehearsed the word in her head. Jamie has said it to her several times in the night. A few of those times had been when he was deep asleep and her name was in the mix of the words she didn’t understand.
Claire clicked her pen nervously. Jamie had said that he “thought” he was “falling” in love with her. Not that he “was already in” love with her. In all honesty Claire thought that she was in love with him as well but she had repeatedly told herself that it was much too soon for that and she was probably just infatuated.
“Khreah,” Claire said under her breath. She was trying to get it to sound the same way that Jamie said it and she knew that she was falling short.
“Khreach?” Geillis repeated as the scratching of her pen stopped abruptly.
Claire looked up hopefully, maybe she hadn’t got it as wrong as she thought.
“That sounds exactly the same to me,” Claire shrugged. “What does it mean?”
“Where did ye hear it?” Geillis asked cautiously.
“Is it something bad?”
“No, not at all, it’s just uhhh it’s quite erm, personal.”
“Personal?” Claire asked in confusion.
“Aye, ye ken in French ye say ‘j’aime’ when ye like something, ‘j’adore’ when ye love something. But when ye… ye have that feeling about someone, ye truly love someone ye say somethin’ like ‘je suis amoureux’, it’s similar in Gaelic. The word ‘heart’ in a medical sense is ‘Cridhe’, but then when ye want to express to someone, erm, the proverbial heart it changes to ‘Chridle’. So, it would mean ‘My Heart’ but not in the sense of ‘I’m having a heart attack’, but more like… ‘you are my heart’. Does that make sense?”
Claire swallowed a few times before she could respond and nodded weakly.
“More to the point,” Geillis continued in a businesslike fashion, “where did ye hear it?”
“Oh, just… around. A movie, I think.” Claire lied quickly- aiming for nonchalance but missed the mark by a mile as her voice shook and her cheeks flushed red.
“A movie?” Geillis repeated, clearly unconvinced. “Someone said it to ye?” Geillis guessed as her pen slammed down on top of her paperwork. “Jamie said it to ye?” She guessed again, her voice rising an octave.
“He might have mentioned it,” Claire all but whispered, concentrating very heavily on the file in front of her, pretending to be absorbed while also trying to hide her flaming face.
“What did he say!” Geillis demanded, turning her body fully toward Claire.
“Well,” Claire paused, taking a steadying breath. “He said that, and uh… that he wanted to see me again, and uhh…”
“I mean, in what context did he say it,” Geillis interrupted.
“Oh, uh, he said it in his sleep.”
“So he slept over,” Geillis grinned.
“Well, yeah, and uh, he said it another time, when we were… you know… together.”
Geillis almost shrieked with laughter, “In the throws of passion then! What a poet!”
“Shhh!” Claire hissed as one of the Senior Nurses passed them with a disappointed glare.
“Ye have to tell me everything!”
“I just have,” Claire disagreed as she closed her completed patient file and picked up the next.
“Ye’ve barely told me anything at all.” Geillis looked back at her file and started to write hastily. “Don’t walk away from me Beauchamp! I want more details.” Claire shook her head at her friend, smiling, and made her way back to triage.
It made sense, Claire supposed, that Jamie would say something like that. Hadn’t she stayed awake with anxiety for an hour after Jamie had said that he thought he was falling in love with her as he was drifting off? They’d only slept together twice. Granted, she was Jamie’s first, so it would be a fair assumption that he would be confusing the feelings of lust and love, but that didn’t really explain how Claire was feeling. She knew that felt something for him, but to say it was love? Well, it was much, much too soon for that.
It all felt too difficult, too confusing, too much. And she was definitely over thinking things again. Classic Claire. She didn’t need to worry about these things; their relationship was still so new, and all things going well, it would continue to progress. She just needed to be sure that she didn’t screw things up before then.
—
-I’ve cooked dinner and I have to say, I’ve very much outdone myself. What time do you finish work?-
The message came from Jamie as Claire was opening her front door. Her stomach was entering the painful stage of hunger, it had moved beyond rumbling and was starting to feel like it was eating itself.
-I’ve just got home. I’ll have a shower and come by?-
Claire didn’t wait for a response before she was hurriedly trying to get out of her sweaty, dirty scrubs and into the shower.
-See you soon.-
—
They were dating now. It was official. Monogamous dating. It felt like it had been far too long since Claire had been in a proper relationship. She had been on so many single dates that entering a proper relationship felt foreign. At what point did it feel like they weren’t “dating” but they were a “couple”? Wasn’t that supposed to happen over several months? Maybe even a year? So why then, when Claire arrived at Jamie’s apartment and he kissed her quickly before ushering her inside to a steaming plate of delicious smelling food, did it feel like a practised routine she’d been doing her whole life? The only thing about it that had felt even remotely off was the time lapse between Claire leaving her apartment and arriving at Jamie’s. That felt wrong. It felt like she was just supposed to come home to him.
And that was - Fucking - insane.
She had known Jamie for all of a month. His apartment shouldn’t feel more like home to her than hers did. HE shouldn’t feel more like home to her then he did.
But it did and he did.
“Honeymoon phase,” Claire reminded herself. They were in the honeymoon phase where everything was still bright, fresh and new. There would be a turning point where the routine would become mundane, and there would be something about him that would piss her off to no end, but she would be in love with him and so it wouldn’t actually bother her. Like right now, he had a bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth, stuck in his stubble. She had tried to get him to lick, wipe, wash- anything- something to get rid of it, and for reasons unknown to anyone, he consistently missed before giving up and just leaving it there. He wouldn’t let her remove it either. When she reached out to wipe his mouth he dodged out of her way while laughing. “Saving it for later,” he said as he stopped her hands.
Jamie was stubborn. Stubborn about the smallest, stupidest things. Maybe one day Claire would be beyond annoyed by this. But today, she found it endearing. There were probably a thousand things about Jamie that she would find annoying in time, but right now she was looking through rose coloured glasses. And things looked good.
—
They were sitting on the couch together, the tv playing in front of them, though neither one was watching, when Jamie brought up the topic of family.
“I was wondering,” he said before pausing for a moment. “At what point in us being an item,” he exaggerated, “do we introduce each other to our respective families?”
“I don’t have any family,” Claire shot back automatically. It was an emotionless reply that she had given hundreds of times. She waited for the soft pitying voice that everyone gave her. “Poor orphaned Claire.”
“Ye might not, but I do, and I’d like ye to meet them,” Jamie said unperturbed by her abrupt response.
“Them?” Claire had to clear her throat before she continued. She was surprised by how he had breezed past her rebuttal, though she shouldn’t have been. He never reacted the way she expected. “How many people are we talking about?”
“My sister to start with,” Jamie said. “Her husband and my nephew. Once ye get past that hurdle ye’ll be more than ready to face the rest of the Fraser/McKenzie clan.”
“Clan?” Claire repeated dubiously.
“I can trace back my family for generations, near on- Adam and Eve- ye ken they were Scottish?”
Claire snorted with laughter. “Sure they were.”
“I have a large family, I won’t lie to ye, but I’m really only close with my sister, Jenny and her husband- Ian. Ian was one of my best friends growing up.”
“Bit weird that he married your sister, isn’t it?” Claire asked. She didn’t have any siblings but surely that dynamic wasn’t usual.
Jamie shrugged half heartedly. “When ye see them together, they just make sense. I don’t think that they even had a chance to see it any other way.”
Claire nodded in response, not really sure what to say. Was meeting Jamie’s family really that big of a deal? The same woman that she had mistaken for a potential love interest for Jamie. Laughable now of course, but in the moment- guttering. Did she know that Claire thought that she was the “other woman”? How embarrassing if she did! How close were Jamie and his sister? Would he have told her? Maybe not. They’d only just started seeing each other. Why would they talk about Jamie’s dating life? That wasn’t a sibling conversation! Or was it? Claire had no point of reference.
“What’s wrong? Ye look like yer brain’s going about a thousand miles a second,” Jamie chuckled casually as he squeezed her shoulder in comfort.
“But yer ok to meet Jenny and Ian? It would mean a lot to me.”
“I-uh,” Claire hesitated before asking Jamie what she was thinking. “Are you close with your sister? I mean you said Ian was your best friend growing up. Are you still that close?”
“Aye, I think so,” Jamie said through a stretch. “They probably ken the most about me than anyone I know.”
Claire nodded in response, that’s what she was worried about.
“They, um, they know about us? Dating?”
Jamie nodded, “Aye.”
Claire tried to unsuccessfully swallow the lump that had somehow lodged itself quite firmly in her throat. She hadn’t met someone’s family since… well since Geillis she supposed. Nothing ever really lasted long enough or was serious enough to warrant meeting the family.
“I can feel ye trembling, mo nighean donn,” Jamie laughed lightly. “If ye’re no’ ready that’s ok. Just have a think about it.”
“I’m not trembling,” Claire retorted. “It’s just been a while since I’ve met someone’s family. I’m not really sure… what… what it entails.”
“Oh, the usual. I imagine some sort of arm wrestling, they’ll take yer measurements,” Jamie said as he took a generous squeeze of her arse. “Probably grill ye about yer past relationships and what yer plans are with me. Just normal things.”
Claire smacked Jamie lightly on his chest. “Very helpful. Thank you. Can't wait now.”
“I could introduce ye some of my mates first, but that would just be Ian and why no’ rip off the plaster off all at once and get Jenny over and done with at the same time?”
“Why indeed,” Claire mumbled.
“If ye really dinna want to, ye dinna have to. But it’s something that I would like to happen… at some time… in our future,” Jamie hesitated over the words, trying to gauge her reaction.
Claire worked to keep her face calm while her heart just about leapt out of her chest at the mention of “their shared future”. When did she become such a commit-a-phobe?
“Fine. Fine. Rip the bloody plaster off then. Yes, I’ll meet them.”
“Only because ye seem so thrilled about it,” Jamie laughed. “I’ll ask Jen when she’ll be in town next.”
—
Meeting Jenny Fraser- now Murray- was, to put it lightly, an experience. Claire was already nervous but watching the tiny woman who was at least a foot shorter than her, come barrelling down the street toward her and Jamie, husband in tow was positively frightening. The fact that Jenny Murray could command an entire restaurant into an almost revered silence by her very presence alone was, frankly, terrifying.
She pulled Jamie in for a hug before turning to Claire and, (Claire looked for a better word but couldn’t think of one) inspected her. Jenny’s face was polite of course, a warm smile on her mouth, but it was the dark blue cat eyes, so similar to her brothers but about four times darker, that, also like Jamie, were the true tell of what she was thinking. Initially Janet Murray was not impressed.
Ian on the other hand held a completely different impression than his other half. Still shorter than Jamie (though that wasn’t exactly hard, the man seemed like a giant sometimes) he was about Claire’s height with sandy brown hair and kind brown eyes. He greeted Jamie with a hug, much less forceful than Jenny’s, and Claire with a smile and handshake.
Once they had settled at their assigned table, with appetisers, meals and drinks ordered, that’s when the real awkwardness started for Claire.
Jenny updated Jamie on the comings and going’s of the village that they had grown up in. Mrs McKinnely had finally had that knee operation and was in a worse mood than usual. Alexander Poole had sold off the back half of his fathers property to a residential developer and the whole town was furious with him. Mrs McKimme (the name said with obvious clues to Jamie and a quick side eye to Claire) and her daughter were doing well and asking after him at every chance they could.
Ian managed to have a small side conversation with Claire to stop her from nodding along to news about people she had never met before.
Jamie took hold of Claire’s hand at some point and it took her several moments to realise that she was clinging to it for dear life when Jenny started to throw rapid fire questions at her.
“What do you do for a living?”
“A nurse? For how long?”
“Why scotland?”
“How long have you been here?”
“Where’s your family?”
“No siblings?”
“How do you enjoy your work?”
“Any plans for travel in the future?”
Claire felt like she was on a game show as the clock was counting down and one wrong answer would disqualify her from future dates with Jamie. She’d barely answered the last question before Jenny was asking the next.
Finally the entrees came out and Jenny had to take a break so that she could eat. Probably summoning the strength for the next round of the Spanish Inquisition.
“So Claire,” Ian said gently, “what got ye into nursing?”
“My uncle,” Claire answered quickly, afraid that Jenny would start up again. “We travelled a lot growing up and he always managed to injure himself in one way or another. It seemed like I was always patching him up.”
“Yer Uncle?” Jenny interrupted. “What does he do?”
“He was an Archeologist. A professor later in life. Wrote a few books here and there,” Claire answered quietly.
“Well known then, was he?” Jenny continued relentlessly.
“Not particularly. Unless you have a specific interest in Neolithic Mesopotamia,” Claire answered bluntly.
“And where we’re yer parents in all of this? Surely they didn’t relish ye travelling about the globe with yer uncle?” There truly was no stopping Jenny.
“Janet!” Jamie hissed at his sister as she shrugged back at him.
“I wouldn’t think that they care all that much being that they’re dead.” Was what Claire wanted to say. Instead she swallowed the retort and answered quietly. “They passed when I was a child. My Uncle raised me.”
“Oh,” Jenny paused, her eyes finally leaving Claire’s face, “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Claire nodded mutely, wondering where the next onslaught of questions was going to come from. She was saved by Jamie taking the lead in the conversation now that it seemed like Jenny had run out of speed.
“Did ye watch the Wales game? I did’na think we were going to pull it outta the bag after that dodgy first half.”
—
It was sometime around when their main meals were almost finished that it seemed that Jenny had finally warmed to Claire. Claire didn’t know what had changed but it was a welcome relief after Jenny’s interrogation. Ian and Jamie were arguing over the merits of some Rugby Centre that Claire had never heard of before in her life when Jenny drew her attention.
“I- ah I wanted to say that I’m sorry about earlier,” she said quietly. “It’s just… my Braither has always seemed to jump in head first to everything he does. He’s no’ had a lot of relationships, and he’s only brought a few lasses around to meet the family, so I ken ye’re special to him, it’s just that,” Jenny paused as she tried to think of the right words. “Ian and I, we’re protective of him. Probably too much if ye ask him. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if it seemed like I was puttin’ ye under the furnace.”
Claire smiled tentatively at Jenny. “I can understand that.” She desperately wanted Jenny to like her, if nothing else than for Jamie’s sake.
“I mean I didn’t say that I’d like to experience another interrogation again anytime soon,” Claire smiled shyly.
“I suppose no’,” Jenny grinned in return. “Feel free to giv’ it back to me all ye like. I’ll happily give ye all the dirt on this wee lad, including’ the time he jumped butt naked into the Broch in the middle of winter and nearly froze his bollocks off because Lisa Annister said that she’d lay one on him if he did.”
“Oi,” Jamie grumbled, his and Ians’ conversation momentarily abandoned as Claire laughed.
It wasn’t instantaneous, and it took most of dessert and a few glasses of wine, but it was there- the beginning of a friendship. Claire didn’t have a lot of friends, she didn’t need to surround herself with people, she preferred her relative solitude, but there was something about Jenny Fraser. It sort of seemed like Claire didn’t really have a choice on whether they were going to be friends or not. Jenny had already decided and Claire found that she didn’t mind that much after all.
If it was for Jamie, she wondered what she wouldn’t do.
Claire squinted at Uncle Lamb’s face on her phone - a bit pixellated due to his unsteady wifi connection.
“Thanks.”
“Is Bree not sleeping very well?”
“No - it’s not that. She is sleeping well, relatively speaking.” Claire took a deep breath. “It’s just - Joe called me this morning to talk about coming back to the hospital.”
“I see.” Lamb rubbed his crown, white wispy hair all askew. “Do you not want to go back, dear?”
Claire looked out the window for a long moment - watched her neighbor in the apartment across the street change yoga positions in her living room.
“I don’t know.”
“And why’s that?”
“I don’t know if I can be away from her yet. The world is so crazy. I don’t know if I feel comfortable being in an emergency room all day, sweating behind my mask and face shield and head-to-toe gown and worrying that I’d bring the virus home to my baby. Or to my husband.”
“Did you say that to Joe?”
She nodded. “He said he could re-assign me. So that I could do rounds, like some of the other doctors do. Check on the patients who are in for more routine things.”
“But?”
“But...my work isn’t as important anymore. Bree has changed everything. Being home with her these months...it’s been the silver lining for staying home and not being able to go out. That, and that Jamie’s gotten so much time with her, of course.”
Lamb moved his iPad to his other hand, cutting off his face a bit. “Can you afford to not go back?”
“Yes. Not forever. It would be tight, but we can make it work.”
“I can always help, Claire - ”
“I know you can, Lamb. And I appreciate it. But if I need it, I’ll let you know.” Suddenly tears welled. “I wish I could hug you right now. I wish you could hug Brianna.”
His face creased into a sad smile. “This Face Time gadget is such a blessing. That, and how Jamie arranged for the grocery delivery service. I haven’t been out in months, except in the backyard and to just drive around the neighborhood to keep myself from going stir crazy.”
“With your history - ”
“I know, I know, Dr. Fraser. You take good care of me, even across these miles. You always have - ever since you were a little girl.”
She knuckled away a tear, laughing. “You need taking care of. I don’t even want to think about the state of your study right now. Dust and papers and crumbs everywhere.”
“That may be so, my dear - but I finished my manuscript! Fingers crossed, it will be published later this year. Three hundred pages on my archaeological survey of that stone circle in the Scottish Highlands. And I’ll never have to meet my editor in person!”
Claire shook her head. “Whatever will I do with you?”
“I’m dedicating the book to Brianna. I’d like to take her, and you and Jamie of course, to the circle one day. It’s truly a magical place.”
A helicopter rumbled overhead, buzzing the neighborhood. “Maybe it could transport us to another place, or another time.”
“As long as I could be with all of you, I wouldn’t mind.”
If you comment on this fic or like it, or enjoy it without doing any of those things - you are the true MVP.
Poor Jamie. Rejection from Claire. Laoghaire being Laoghaire. (side note I pronounce that Lay-og-haire in my head)
Who knew a dance would be so difficult?!
A03 Link here
Jamie’s chest felt uncomfortably tight as he rode away from Claire’s house. His stomach felt like it was in knots and though he knew he wasn’t going to cry, his throat had constricted and it felt very difficult to breathe.
Shame washed over him. He felt stupid and he felt ashamed. He knew that it was likely that someone would ask Claire. Hell, Frank had tried and she’d said no, so did that mean that she was waiting for him to ask her and he missed his chance?
Well, he knew for a fact that he’d missed his chance, but that didn’t make him feel any better. It wasn’t exactly like he’d dawdled. It was only Tuesday for goodness sake. He’d tried on Monday afternoon but then Mr Beauchamp was there.
Bloody Tom Christie! Jamie had told Tom that he wasn’t taking Laoghaire to the dance. He’d made a point of being outraged by the very thought of it. What did the bastard do next? Only go and ask her straight away! Tom was probably the one that told Claire about the rumour- wanting to secure her as a date. What a snake!
Jamie found that the choking feeling from Claire’s rejection was now being replaced by a white hot anger directed at Tom Christie. No wonder he was running circles around Jamie in class. He must have been concocting his idea, laughing at Jamie behind his back, thrilled when he got his way. Well- Jamie would show him. Tom probably wanted to get a rise out of Jamie. But Jamie would just act like he wasn’t even bothered by it- he would act like everything was just fine. Claire had promised him a dance after all, not that Jamie really knew how to dance. But it was something.
But now… Jamie couldn’t go alone, that would make Tom’s day and Jamie wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. He needed to find a date. Someone that wouldn’t read into it more than what it would be, as friends. Jamie didn’t want to use one of the girls at school to make Tom jealous, he already knew that wouldn’t work, not to mention it wasn’t the most gracious thing he could do to one of the lasses. He briefly wondered if taking one of the other girls would make Claire jealous, but he shut that thought down quickly. She had said ‘yes’ to Tom after all, and she wouldn’t have agreed to go with him if she wasn’t at least a little bit interested.
But who to take now? He really didn’t want to lead anyone on, especially knowing that if things had gone his way it would be Claire by his side. The dance was still a week away, so he still had some time to find someone, but soon enough everyone would be asking everyone else and there would be no one left.
Of course, there was one person that would say yes in a heartbeat, but Jamie wasn’t quite that desperate… yet.
the experience of writing something, posting it, and then having people comment about their favorite parts through their eyes is just. such an incredible experience. it’s like getting to re-read your own writing again for the first time and it always gives me such a giddy feeling when people pick up on things i don’t realize i’m putting out.
If you comment on this fic or like it, or enjoy it without doing any of those things - you are the true MVP.
Poor Jamie. Rejection from Claire. Laoghaire being Laoghaire. (side note I pronounce that Lay-og-haire in my head)
Who knew a dance would be so difficult?!
A03 Link here
Jamie’s chest felt uncomfortably tight as he rode away from Claire’s house. His stomach felt like it was in knots and though he knew he wasn’t going to cry, his throat had constricted and it felt very difficult to breathe.
Shame washed over him. He felt stupid and he felt ashamed. He knew that it was likely that someone would ask Claire. Hell, Frank had tried and she’d said no, so did that mean that she was waiting for him to ask her and he missed his chance?
Well, he knew for a fact that he’d missed his chance, but that didn’t make him feel any better. It wasn’t exactly like he’d dawdled. It was only Tuesday for goodness sake. He’d tried on Monday afternoon but then Mr Beauchamp was there.
Bloody Tom Christie! Jamie had told Tom that he wasn’t taking Laoghaire to the dance. He’d made a point of being outraged by the very thought of it. What did the bastard do next? Only go and ask her straight away! Tom was probably the one that told Claire about the rumour- wanting to secure her as a date. What a snake!
Jamie found that the choking feeling from Claire’s rejection was now being replaced by a white hot anger directed at Tom Christie. No wonder he was running circles around Jamie in class. He must have been concocting his idea, laughing at Jamie behind his back, thrilled when he got his way. Well- Jamie would show him. Tom probably wanted to get a rise out of Jamie. But Jamie would just act like he wasn’t even bothered by it- he would act like everything was just fine. Claire had promised him a dance after all, not that Jamie really knew how to dance. But it was something.
But now… Jamie couldn’t go alone, that would make Tom’s day and Jamie wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. He needed to find a date. Someone that wouldn’t read into it more than what it would be, as friends. Jamie didn’t want to use one of the girls at school to make Tom jealous, he already knew that wouldn’t work, not to mention it wasn’t the most gracious thing he could do to one of the lasses. He briefly wondered if taking one of the other girls would make Claire jealous, but he shut that thought down quickly. She had said ‘yes’ to Tom after all, and she wouldn’t have agreed to go with him if she wasn’t at least a little bit interested.
But who to take now? He really didn’t want to lead anyone on, especially knowing that if things had gone his way it would be Claire by his side. The dance was still a week away, so he still had some time to find someone, but soon enough everyone would be asking everyone else and there would be no one left.
Of course, there was one person that would say yes in a heartbeat, but Jamie wasn’t quite that desperate… yet.
Jamie woke up the next morning still feeling dejected and quite frankly, furious with Tom. He wasn’t sure if he was meant to walk Claire to school like he had been after the disastrous previous afternoon. Maybe she wanted to be left alone. She had seemed almost regretful when she told him that she had said yes to Tom, but she was probably just being polite. Claire was always polite. It was one of the things that Jamie puzzled over the most. Was she just being kind and nice, and laughing with him because she was just a kind, nice and friendly person, or was there something else there?
The last thing that Jamie wanted was read into something that wasn’t there, but then, they’d had their moments. Sitting in the tall grass talking about her parents, the way she held onto him as he drove the motorbike around the farm- the way she looked when he brushed the curl away from her face. Surely there was something there. Surely he wasn’t just reading into it.
Jamie finished his pre-dawn Wednesday paper run, showered quickly and picked up his bike having decided that he should just ride straight to school. He didn’t want to appear like he was stalking her, or that she couldn’t get rid of him. He didn’t want to overcrowd her, especially now that she had Tom sitting over her shoulder. As he adjusted his school bag on his shoulders, he felt his newly acquired mobile phone buzz in the pocket of his trousers. Laoghaire had been messaging him constantly, heavily hinting that she was waiting for him to ask her to the dance. Jamie mostly ignored the barrage of her messages. He barely replied, never opened a conversation or tried to engage with her, but that didn’t seem to matter to Laoghaire.
Preparing himself for a ‘Good Morning’ text from the girl, he was surprised to see it was a message from Claire.
-If you get here fast enough you can have the waffles that Lamb made. It’s his first time and they are bloody amazing.-
Jamie felt his heart stutter at the message. So she did want him to come to her house.
There was a pause and then another message with a picture of a sleepy looking Claire, hair all over the place, smiling with a huge stack of waffles. Lamb was beaming in the background, giving the thumbs up. Jamie couldn’t help but smile at the image before he responded.
-I’m on my way. Save me one.-
Pocketing his phone, Jamie felt much happier than he had for the past 12 hours.
---
“I don’t know if I can take credit,” Lamb mumbled with a mouthful of waffle, “it’s the waffle iron really. I just mixed the batter, poured it in and here we are.”
“Yes, but you probably didn’t need to make enough to feed an army, Lamb,” Claire laughed as she tied her hair back.
“Well, I will concede that I haven’t quite worked out the measurements yet, but the little song it sings when the waffle is ready… well, I just couldn’t help myself. Have another one Jamie.” Lamb flung another oversized waffle onto Jamie’s plate. Despite having already inhaled two, Jamie happily dug into his third.
“Once you finish that, we’d better get going,” Claire said as she straightened her tie. “We’ll miss half the day if we are going to sit here and eat every waffle that he made.”
“I don’t mind,” Jamie answered with a mouthful. “They’re good waffles.”
“Regardless of that-” Claire rolled her eyes, “- we do still need to get to school at some point.”
---
The walk to school was… well it wasn’t as awkward as Jamie thought it was going to be. They kept to safe subjects- what assignments they had coming up, what kind of couple would Geillis and Rupert make, would Angus ever shut up- but it wasn’t until they walked through the school gates that it became unbearable- at least for Jamie.
“So... so are you going to ask someone to the dance?” Claire asked innocently. Or at least, it sounded innocent, but she wouldn’t look at him when she asked, and Jamie wasn’t entirely sure she actually wanted an answer.
“Aye, I suppose so,” Jamie answered stiffly. He could see Rupert up ahead and he longed to call out to his friend to interrupt them, to stop wherever this conversation was going to go.
“You wouldn’t… I mean I suppose it would make sense for you… have you thought about asking-”
A bright and cheery voice interrupted whatever Claire was about to suggest and Jamie found himself flinching at the sound.
“Good Morning Jamie. Hi Claire.” Laoghaire McKenzie had spotted Jamie and Claire together and was somehow now walking in between them, though Jamie had no idea how she appeared there.
“Morning,” Claire answered brightly when Jamie didn’t respond.
“I heard ye’re going to the dance with Tom Christie,” Laoghaire babbled excitedly. “Ye make such a lovely couple. I would have thought ye and Jamie were going together. I had no idea that ye had feelings for Tom. Though, I should ha’ seen it, what with the way ye look and him, and he- ye.”
Jamie’s eyes flashed angrily as Laoghaire spoke and he felt his blunt fingernails dig into his palms without consciously telling his hands to make a fist. He felt like he wanted to hit something. Preferably Tom Christie, but maybe a tree trunk would have to do… perhaps at lunch time.
“So who are ye goin’ with, Jamie?” Laoghaire continued, barely pausing to take a breath or let Claire respond. “I’m still available, if ye wanted a date. Our years are together, which is a first. I dinna ken if they’ve ever done that a’fore. So it would work out perfectly.”
“Mr Fraser.” A stern male voice called Jamie’s attention and he nearly sighed with relief at the pause from the onslaught of Laoghaire basically planning out the rest of their lives together.
“Yes, Mr Randall.” Jamie turned back to the teacher who had his arms crossed and was looking down his nose at Jamie.
Claire and Laoghaire stopped and turned with Jamie.
“I believe that I said Mr Fraser, not Miss Beauchamp or McKenzie.” Mr Randall glared at the two girls and Jamie wondered who had shoved the pole up Mr Randall’s arse this morning. Maybe Frank had told his father that Claire had declined his invitation and Randall wanted to intervene. Though why he was stopping Jamie and not Claire, the object of Franks affections, he couldn’t imagine why.
Claire nodded and made her way to their homeroom, throwing a glance back at Jamie to make sure he was ok and smiling briefly.
Laoghaire hesitated for a moment, as if she was going to slow her walk to wait for Jamie but with another glare from Randall she huffed and made her way to her own class.
“Where’s your tie?” Mr Randall asked and Jamie wondered how Randall had managed to notice that he hadn’t had it on when he was walking behind him.
“Sorry Sir, I was in a rush this morning and haven’t had the chance to put it on yet.” Jamie dug the tie out from his bag and quickly swung it around his neck.
“Your shirt,” Mr Randall continued, raising an eyebrow at Jamie, who hastily tucked it in.
“We have a dress code at this school, James.”
Jamie internally shuddered at the full use of his name. It just sounded so formal, especially coming from Mr Randall.
“Is there a reason you think you are above it?”
“I don’t, Sir. I was just in a bit of a rush this morning- like I said,” Jamie replied. Randall was such a stickler for the dress code. None of the other teachers cared how Jamie looked.
“And yet you had plenty of time to be walking quite casually with Miss Beauchamp and Miss McKenzie,” Randall continued, still looking down his nose at Jamie.
Jamie wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to respond, or if he was meant to say anything at all. Silence seemed to be the best choice. Though- it was an untucked shirt and tie. It wasn’t the end of the world. Was he meant to apologise? Not to mention that they’d only just walked through the school gates. He had at least ten more minutes before class started to fix himself up.
“Don’t let it happen again,” Randall threatened. “There will be a detention on the line next time.” With that he swiftly turned on his heel, leaving Jamie thoroughly confused behind him. While he was glad that he didn’t have to answer Laoghaire’s incessant chatter, he didn’t think that an untucked shirt was really worthy of a detention.
Randall really needed to have the stick pulled out of his arse, or maybe to get laid. Though probably the last time that happened, Frank Randall was born nine months later, so maybe not. Jamie laughed at his own joke and picked up his bag again, hastily making his way to his homeroom with Claire.
—-
By lunch time it was clear that Laoghaire was not going to give up finding out who Jamie was going to take to the dance. Going alone seemed like it wasn’t an option. She had caught up with him between classes, somehow making her way in between him and Claire each time. She sat with him during the first break talking with an overwhelming speed about the music she hoped they’d play and the dress she was planning on wearing. Claire didn’t say much, though she wouldn’t have been able to with the rate that Laoghaire was speaking. When Tom came over to speak with Claire, Jamie thought he had just about hit his limit.
The jealousy that was coursing through Jamie was overwhelming as he watched Tom rest his hand against Claire’s knee and she laughed at something he said.
“Jamie… Jamie.” Jamie felt someone tapping his knee and he shook his head, focusing back on Laoghaire again.
“What?” he said stupidly, forcing himself to not look back at Claire and Tom.
“Where’s yer heid at?” Laoghaire laughed patronisingly. “Ye still have’na told me who ye’re planning on taking to the dance.”
“Oh right, I had’na thought about it yet.” A flat out lie, it seemed to be all that Jamie could think about at the moment.
“Well, ye’ll be wanting to ask m- someone soon, ye ken, so ye can coordinate yer outfit.”
There wasn’t all that much that was wrong with Laoghaire, if he really thought about it. She was young, and clingy, didn’t seem to take the hint sometimes and Jamie definitely didn’t want to lead her on. He knew that if he asked her to one dance, even if he clarified that they were just friends, she would tell everyone that they were dating, and that certainly didn’t seem to be worth the trouble. She was nice enough, it’s just that… if Claire hadn’t moved to the village when she did, there was no doubt in Jamie’s mind that he would have probably started dating Laoghaire in a year or two. Jamie would have gone to University, probably studying something his father wanted him to, something that had a secure future, a good job, and he would come back home and eventually he would marry Laoghaire. They would have children, and Jamie would have no doubt that a few years into their marriage Jamie would look back, knowing that they married too quickly and too young because it was exactly what the people in their village expected of them.
They probably would be happy together, and there wouldn’t be anything fundamentally wrong with them being together. He could learn to love her, and she truly was very pretty, but… she just wasn’t for him.
Since Claire had arrived, since she’d brought in life from outside Broch Mordha, Jamie felt like he’d changed. Suddenly he felt like there was more for him, like there were opportunities in front of him that hadn’t been there before. Not that it all had to do with Claire, but she had been the spark. The day that she patched him up from his bike, talking his ear off the whole time, it was like the sun had come out and suddenly Jamie could see. There was a whole new future in front of him.
He could go to University, study writing, Claire would be there, she’d study something medical. They would travel together, truly live and see the world, but there was the thought that Jamie couldn’t get out of his head- the thought that since he met Claire, that he needed her to always be a part of his life.
Jamie realised that Laoghaire was still waiting for him to answer- to finally ask her to the dance and he saw Claire looking at the two of them with curiosity, a crease in her forehead, clearly not listening to what Tom was saying to her.
He couldn’t sit there any longer with both sets of eyes on him and stood up quickly brushing the grass from his pants. Maybe he would avoid them both and kick the ball around the field, run off some of the anger that he was feeling at Tom. As Jamie picked up the ball and was about to call out to Angus he saw Mary and Louise walking towards the group and was struck with an idea.
Louise was talking away as Mary nodded politely in response, Jamie would need to interrupt them.
“Mary, ye have a moment?” He called out and watched as both the girls slightly faltered in their step before Louise’s face broke out in a huge smile. Mary nodded slightly, looking down shyly as Jamie made his way over to her. Louise passed Jamie and swore he saw her wink at him.
--
Asking Mary to the dance hadn’t been nearly as difficult as Jamie thought it would be. He’d simply asked if she’d like to go with him, as friends only of course, his Da could drive them to and from and there would be no pressure. Mary had smiled at him, stuttered out an acceptance and that was that. As they made their way back to the group, Louise had clearly given the group the heads up of what was happening as Louise looked thrilled, Claire was smiling and Laoghaire was positively scowling.
At least that was taken care of now, he didn’t have to worry about Laoghaire badgering him for a date anymore and he could try and get his mind off Claire going with Tom. Speaking of Tom, Jamie could feel his eyes on him as he grabbed the ball and jogged out to the field. It made Jamie uncomfortable and he tried to shake off the feeling as he kicked the ball in a wide arc to Angus.
—
The rest of the week passed too quickly for Jamie’s liking. Claire didn’t say anything about Jamie asking Mary to the dance and Laoghaire, once she had gotten over the disappointment that Jamie was no longer available, had somehow cornered him into promising her a dance.
The girls plan to go to one of the larger towns to purchase their outfits and had made Jamie wonder if he should also be looking at getting something new to wear. He supposed that his dark blue jeans would be alright. It wasn’t exactly a top and tails kind of affair.
He’d wondered if it was an occasion for him to break out his kilt, but he really only kept that for special occasions, Christmas, Homagany and such. He was sure that Claire would be overjoyed at him wearing a kilt, going full-Scott, at least he knew that Lamb would get a kick out of it.
Jeans were the safer option however, Jenny had- of course- heard about the dance and had thrown herself into critiquing Jamie’s wardrobe. She’d always liked to play dress ups with him, though now at 16, he felt he might be past that game. Jenny at 21 was clearly not.
“Ye canna wear that,” she sighed in exasperation. “Ye’ve got a hole right there and I’mna going to stitch it for ye.”
Jamie held back the groan that was threatening to escape his lips and brought out the next dress shirt he owned.
“Perhaps we need to take ye shopping, braither,” Jenny hummed as she shook her head. “Ye’ve grown about a foot and a half in the last year at least and none of these look like they’ll fit ye.”
Jamie did groan at that and Jenny laughed in response. “Come on, we’ll be in and out in half an hour. We can even go a few towns over so that no one ye ken see’s ye shoppin’ wi’ yer sister.”
Jenny didn’t really give Jamie a choice in the matter and before he knew it, they were on the road together to buy him a new outfit.
—
One thing could be said for Jenny; although she faffed about when it came to choosing her own clothes, when it came to picking something for Jamie she was all business. Within four minutes of entering the first store she already had three options lined up for him. She shooed him into the dressing room while she went on the hunt for a fourth outfit. The male sales assistant looked around Jenny’s age and seemed to have made it his personal mission to trail after Jenny, putting together suggestions and carrying varying sizes of clothing back and forth between the siblings.
Jamie was pulling on the second set of navy blue chinos that, to him, looked exactly the same as the first, when Jenny rapped smartly on the door to his dressing room. “Ian has pulled an excellent shirt that will go with those navy pants. Let me throw it over the door.”
“Who is Ian?” Jamie’s voice was muffled as he caught the wad of material flung directly into his face.
“He’s helpin’ us out,” Jenny answered shortly.
“Did’na realise ye were on a first name basis,” Jamie grumbled as he took the new white dress shirt off the hanger.
“Let’s see it then,” Jenny prompted impatiently.
“Hold ye horses, I’ve got to actually put it on before ye rip the door off its hinges,” Jamie groaned as he opened the dressing room door.
Jenny eyed him appraising and before he knew it “Ian” was over her shoulder looking him up and down as well.
“Weel, tuck it in obviously,” Jenny said, reaching forward as if she was about to do it for him and Jamie stumbled backward into the dressing room trying to ward off her advances, holding his hands up.
“I think I can do that ma-self.”
“What do ye think, Ian?” Jenny asked with a slight flush to her cheeks as she turned to ask the sales assistants opinion.
Ian nodded, though he looked like he was concentrating on something very hard. “It’s missing something.”
Jenny was already nodding as he spoke. “Aye, I agree. He needs some shoes.”
“Ye ken I have about forty different options still to try on,” Jamie interrupted, but it fell on deaf ears as Ian swiftly left, followed shortly after by Jenny. “So should I try on somethin’ else or just stay standin’ here?” he asked to noone in particular.
“Brown,” Ian announced on his return and handed a pair of leather shoes to Jamie. “I guessed the size, ye look about the same as me. 11?”
Jamie nodded slowly, not sure whether to be impressed or creeped out by that.
“What about a vest?” Jenny’s voice reached the dressing room before her small body did, a navy blue vest held out in front of her. “Put on the shoes and the vest and let’s have a look at ye.”
Jamie fought the urge to roll his eyes at his sister and her new apparent friend and instead did as they asked.
“Lose the vest,” both Jenny and Ian said at the same time as soon as Jamie had finished tying his shoe.
He shrugged out of the vest again and stood in front of them, waiting for the next comment.
“Roll yer sleeves up, lad,” Ian instructed and Jamie followed suit, rolling them to just below his elbow.
“Aye, yer right,” Jenny hummed in appreciation. “I think that’s it. Take a look at yerself then.”
“Yer sure ye’re happy with it?” Jamie asked sarcastically as he turned to look at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, it did look quite good. He looked quite a lot like his father, aside from the red hair that he had inherited from his mother.
“What do ye think?” Ian asked eagerly from behind him.
“Aye, it’ll do.”
“It’ll do? It’ll do!” Jenny exclaimed in exasperation. “Jamie, yer such a …. Such a boy, sometimes.”
Jamie scoffed in response before he turned around to face the pair again. “What do ye think then?”
“I think yer date will be thrilled,” Ian said, nudging Jenny lightly.
“Aye, Claire will just about fall over herself for ye,” Jenny agreed.
“I’am’na goin’ with Claire,” Jamie mumbled, feeling his cheeks blaze with heat.
Jenny’s eye became about three times bigger as she looked at him in shock and though Ian had no idea what the big deal was he followed Jenny’s lead and also looked surprised.
“I just thought that...” Jenny trailed off as Jamie shook his head.
“Aye, weel, Tom is takin’ her, I’m goin’ wi’ Mary,” he answered shortly.
“Weel, then this Mary lass will be speechless,” Ian tried to say encouragingly.
“Mary Hawkins?” Jenny asked curiously before cursing under her breath. “The lass already has a stutter, I canna imagine her speechless will be any better.”
“Be kind, she’s a good friend,” Jamie growled in response and Jenny shook her head.
“Aye, yer right, she’s a nice lass. I just thought that Claire- no, weel, ye look bonny.”
Jamie scoffed loudly at that, “What every lad wants to hear from his sister, that she thinks he’s bonny.”
“Ye look verra masculine, like ye could chop down a tree with one arm, bears fear ye, lions run from ye,” Jenny said sarcastically. “Is that better?”
“Aye,” Jamie laughed before he shook his head. “We sorted then? Can I get changed?”
“Aye, we’ll wait out here for ye,” Jenny smiled kindly at her brother, who felt his heart warm to her. She really was an excellent sister to him.
“Thank ye Jen, truly.”
“Ach,” Jenny waved him away and followed Ian out of the dressing room section and back onto the main floor.
--
Jamie had winced at the price of the clothing, but Jenny simply shook her head at him and told him not to worry, that she had dragged him out there and it was her treat. Jamie felt another swell of gratitude to his sister for looking out for him. She might annoy the hell out of him sometimes but he really did love her.
He also didn’t miss the way Jenny was looking at the sales assistant, Ian, who had helped them. Jamie was pretty sure his sister's expression as she looked at Ian would closely mirror how Jamie looked at Claire sometimes. He wondered if Ian was as clueless as Claire was.
The drive back home was peaceful, Jenny turning up the radio and occasionally singing along. Jamie opened his window and let the cooling Scottish air clear his mind.
“Are ye going to cut yer hair?” Jenny asked as they slowed through the centre of their town.
Jamie shrugged in response as he watched the villagers slowly meander by.
“It’s getting’ pretty long. Ye’ll be able to tie it back soon enough. Yer school has rules about that, I think,” Jenny continued. “Mam would have cut it by now.”
“Aye,” Jamie sighed in agreement.
“We still have her clippers at home if ye wanted me to try,” Jenny suggested with a smile in her voice.
“No offence, but if I let ye try I’ll end up bald,” Jamie commented as Jenny laughed. “Aye I’ll go this week and get it cut.”
Jenny hummed in acknowledgement and they continued their drive home in their comfortable silence.
—
Jamie had meant to go to the barber all week but something always got in the way.
On Monday, Claire invited him inside to study for their upcoming math exam and there was no way Jamie would ever turn her down.
On Tuesday, his father had sent him a message asking him to come straight home and help him out with one of the horses that was being picked up by the rehabilitation centre.
On Wednesday morning Murtagh asked if Jamie could come by the store on his way home and man the counter for an hour or so while he had some errands to run.
By Thursday Jamie had completely forgotten his plan to get his hair cut after school and promptly fell asleep on the couch until dinner time when he’d gotten home.
On Friday everybody was absolutely buzzing about the dance the following night. The girls broke out in high pitched giggles if one of the lads looked at them for too long and Laoghaire had become almost unbearable. Simon McKimmie has asked her and while he was in Jamie’s year, a fact that she told almost everyone she came into contact with, she was clearly very disappointed that it wasn’t Jamie that had asked her.
She confirmed that they would be sharing at least one dance together every time she saw Jamie and he thought that she might be hatching a plan to grab him as the start of the night and wouldn’t let go. He tried to smile at her politely and nod along but that just seemed to encourage her and she spoke with more enthusiasm. Jamie had looked to both Rupert and Angus for help in extracting him from her conversation but they were both very purposefully looking the other way whenever he tried to make eye contact- the bastards.
As he walked Claire home, finally free of Laoghaire, he remembered his need to get his hair cut. The barber was in the opposite direction of her house but he was enjoying himself too much with Claire to excuse himself.
“I’ll be glad when this dance is done, that for sure,” Claire said matter-of-factly. “It’s all anyone has talked about for two weeks and I’m bloody sick of it.”
“Ye and me both,” Jamie said under his breath and Claire grinned.
“Geillis told me that we are to get ready together. Apparently that’s the done thing.” Claire sighed and though he wasn’t looking at her face, Jamie was sure she was rolling her eyes. “I have to be at her house at two. Two!” She exclaimed. “That’s like four hours before the bloody thing. Who needs four hours to get ready?”
“Geillis apparently,” Jamie commented. “Did ye find something the other weekend?”
“Yes,” Claire said with a sigh. “Geillis hates it of course. She thinks I should be showing more skin, but it’s not exactly like I look like a Nun.” Claire paused for a moment before she shook her head. “I like it, that’s the important thing.”
“I’m sure ye’ll look bonny, Sassenach,” Jamie said without thinking.
“What about you? Will I get to see you in all your kilted highland glory?”
“Ach,” Jamie shook his head, “canna be givin’ away all my secrets now, can I?”
“So you will be wearing a kilt?” Claire asked barely able to contain her excitement.
Jamie laughed and shook his head again, “Nah, not this time, I’m afraid. Usually only comes out at Christmas and the like.”
Claire made a noise of disgruntlement which had Jamie smiling. “Only three months away.”
“Sure,” Jamie agreed, not really sure what he was actually agreeing to.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Claire said slowly as they approached her front gate.
“Aye, suppose so.”
Jamie wasn’t sure why but he was overcome with the urge to do something… anything- Hug her, kiss her- something. Claire was looking at him curiously and looked like she was about to say something.
“It’s good that you’re going with Mary,” she finally said.
“Aye? Why’s that?”
“I just think you’ll have fun together,” Claire answered nervously.
“She’s a good friend,” Jamie agreed.
Claire’s eyebrows twitched and Jamie was dying to ask what she was thinking. Instead Claire turned and let herself into her front yard.
“Till tomorrow then.”
“Till tomorrow,” Jamie nodded, picking up his bike and peddling back into the village and to the barber.
Sex was a strange thing if you really thought about. It was, at times, uncomfortable and awkward, sweaty with noises that in any other environment, would be frankly, horrendous. To find someone that you were comfortable with, and perhaps not just comfortable, but more importantly compatible with was rare.
Claire had had sex with men before. She could count on one hand the times that it had been absolutely mind blowing (one of those times had been on hers and Jamie’s first date- once the cherry had been popped and Jamie became more sure of what he was doing) and she had lost count of the amount of times she had faked it in order to have the session end. She didn’t like faking it- didn’t like lying about it, but sometimes it was a necessary measure.
Some men tried too hard, were too much in their own mind that they lost the rhythm of things and made Claire, in turn, lose interest. Others didn’t try at all, laying there like a limp noodle expecting Claire to do all the work. A few had clearly watched far too many porno’s written by a man, where the woman was immediately ready after a kiss on the lips and a squeeze of a breast. One in particular should perhaps do some research on the female anatomy.
The lead up to sex could be awkward. Of course, there were plenty of times where one thing led to another and two people would end up in bed together. But others, not so much. To go for it, to hold back, did the other person want this, was it too soon- there were far too many variable factors. It felt odd to just blurt out “well, should we have sex now?”. There was a certain trepidation with the lead up to sex, and suggesting it. What if the other person wasn’t ready? What if it was too soon?
Things with Jamie on their first date had happened organically, and sure it was awkward and there were moments that were stiff and graceless. But after the bandaid had been well and truly ripped off and Claire let herself go with him, he seemed to be a natural and Claire hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. They fit together, and yes, there were leg cramps, elbows in the wrong place and a few moments of passion that were broken by an unexpected move, but they had found each other on an intimate level that Claire wasn’t entirely sure she had experienced with another partner before.
Her first sexual experience had been memorable, but not in the way one would want it to be. Fumbling hands, red faced blushing profusely, a few strokes and it was over. It was a classic first time between her and her then boyfriend. She’d thought a few times over the weeks between her and Jamie’s first date, that Jamie didn’t know how good he’d had it for his first time.
She’d rarely had a reaction to another man like she did with Jamie. Other men would put their hands on her knee or hold her hand and she would think, ‘I suppose this is nice’. But when Jamie touched her, she was sure that her entire surface area broke out in gooseflesh. Perhaps it was the distance between them, the uncertainty of what they were or how they were supposed to be together that made her react that way. But even after they had defined what they were to each other, his touch still gave her the same reaction.
Yes.... yes I am bad at updating... but here’s this!
A03 Link is here
Sex was a strange thing if you really thought about. It was, at times, uncomfortable and awkward, sweaty with noises that in any other environment, would be frankly, horrendous. To find someone that you were comfortable with, and perhaps not just comfortable, but more importantly compatible with was rare.
Claire had had sex with men before. She could count on one hand the times that it had been absolutely mind blowing (one of those times had been on hers and Jamie’s first date- once the cherry had been popped and Jamie became more sure of what he was doing) and she had lost count of the amount of times she had faked it in order to have the session end. She didn’t like faking it- didn’t like lying about it, but sometimes it was a necessary measure.
Some men tried too hard, were too much in their own mind that they lost the rhythm of things and made Claire, in turn, lose interest. Others didn't try at all, laying there like a limp noodle expecting Claire to do all the work. A few had clearly watched far too many porno’s written by a man, where the woman was immediately ready after a kiss on the lips and a squeeze of a breast. One in particular should perhaps do some research on the female anatomy.
The lead up to sex could be awkward. Of course, there were plenty of times where one thing led to another and two people would end up in bed together. But others, not so much. To go for it, to hold back, did the other person want this, was it too soon- there were far too many variable factors. It felt odd to just blurt out “well, should we have sex now?”. There was a certain trepidation with the lead up to sex, and suggesting it. What if the other person wasn’t ready? What if it was too soon?
Things with Jamie on their first date had happened organically, and sure it was awkward and there were moments that were stiff and graceless. But after the bandaid had been well and truly ripped off and Claire let herself go with him, he seemed to be a natural and Claire hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. They fit together, and yes, there were leg cramps, elbows in the wrong place and a few moments of passion that were broken by an unexpected move, but they had found each other on an intimate level that Claire wasn’t entirely sure she had experienced with another partner before.
Her first sexual experience had been memorable, but not in the way one would want it to be. Fumbling hands, red faced blushing profusely, a few strokes and it was over. It was a classic first time between her and her then boyfriend. She’d thought a few times over the weeks between her and Jamie’s first date, that Jamie didn’t know how good he’d had it for his first time.
She’d rarely had a reaction to another man like she did with Jamie. Other men would put their hands on her knee or hold her hand and she would think, ‘I suppose this is nice’. But when Jamie touched her, she was sure that her entire surface area broke out in gooseflesh. Perhaps it was the distance between them, the uncertainty of what they were or how they were supposed to be together that made her react that way. But even after they had defined what they were to each other, his touch still gave her the same reaction.
Jamie had calloused hands, rough patches on his metacarpals where his fingers met his palm. He might sit behind a desk for most of the day but he also very clearly used his hands for hard labour regularly. When the rough skin of his palm brushed lightly against her knee, or anywhere else on her skin for that matter, Claire was a lost cause of jelly legs and muddled mind. He also seemed to be wildly unaware of the effect that he had on her which was both infuriating and endearing at the same time.
He had strong arms, and damn it if Claire wasn’t a sucker for some muscles. A decent spread of her dating life had been with ‘Academic’ types. While not strictly ‘unfit’ they had a history of being into sports like golf and jogging and therefore had entirely different body types. There were no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ body types as far as Claire was concerned, but it just so happened that Jamie’s body type was the exact thing that had Claire weak at the knees whenever she witnessed just how physically fit he was. The man had a bloody six pack and Claire wasn’t entirely sure she had seen a man outside of a Chris Hemsworth movie in a natural habitat that had one. The fact that he could pick her up from the couch in one swoop, without making a groan of protest at her weight, as if she weighed no more than one of the cushions they were sitting on, made her stomach clench.
He put her down as they entered the bedroom, standing awkwardly in front of each other. All the confidence that Claire had felt sitting on the couch with Jamie, the teasing, the flirting, had vanished somewhere in the hallway. The unspoken question of “now what?” hung between them. The first time- Claire had taken the lead, this time- Claire wasn’t as sure. She smiled to herself as she remembered how his eyes had quite literally bugged out of his head like a cartoon character when she had stripped off her clothes. Last time, she hadn’t dressed to impress, not sure where the night was going to go. This time was different. This time she had put effort into her outfit, into her almost hairless body, into her matching underwear that was currently giving her one hell of a wedgie. This time was different. This time there was meaning. Of course, there was meaning last time, she was taking his virginity for goodness sake. But last time, if it all went to hell in a handbasket she didn’t need to see him again. It was their first date, there was no expectation for anything further. Or at least, that was what she told herself. If she was truly honest with herself, from the first moment she saw Jamie at the bar, she knew that she wanted to see him again.
Now however, there was expectation. They would still see each other after this night, they would be dating, they would be a couple. This wasn’t a casual fling. This was dating with purpose. The reality of that seemed to hit Claire all at once and she hesitated. She knew that she liked Jamie, she had been thinking about him all week; had been waiting for this. She had been waiting for the chance to see him again and to put a label on what they were. Now they had. Now they were moving forward. Now they were standing in her bedroom, looking at each other, neither knowing what they were meant to do next.
“Are ye as nervous as I am?” Jamie asked hesitantly as a breath of a laugh left Claire.
“I don’t know. How nervous are you?” She asked as she tried to force herself to relax.
“On a scale of one to ten? Maybe an eight.”
“What were you on our first date?” Claire asked as Jamie took a tentative step toward her.
“I was swingin’ anywhere from a four to an eleven at any point in the night,” Jamie answered as his hand rested lightly on her shoulders for a moment before travelling down her arms and linking their fingers.
“What about at… when we were at this point of the night?” Claire asked breathlessly as she felt a shiver start somewhere at the base of her spine and travel up her neck.
“Somewhere between a five and a seven.”
“You were less nervous?”
“Aye,” Jamie said as he lifted her right hand and placed a tender kiss on the back of it. “It was the first time I’d done it. I was pretty sure it was’na goin’ to be pretty. I’d accepted my fate. I was more worried about the after. If I was shockin’ at it, ye might no’ want to have seen me again.”
Claire chuckled, “And this time you’re at an eight?”
“Aye, this time, I suppose I should ken what I’m doin’ a bit better.”
“I suppose you should. Though, you didn’t have a lot of practice. Only one night.”
“And the next morning,” Jamie reminded her and Claire felt herself blush.
“And the next morning,” she agreed.
“And three weeks of imagination,” Jamie breathed, as if he hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud.
“Imagination?” Claire asked quietly as he bent his head, their foreheads touching and noses bumping lightly against each other.
“Imagination, memory, whatever ye want to call it,” Jamie said, his voice low as his movements made Claire’s head tilt upward slightly, giving him better access to her lips.
“You’d better show me what you remember then,” Claire said breathlessly before Jamie’s lips captured her own.
He was gentle, almost hesitant, like he had forgotten how to kiss between the journey from the couch to the bedroom. When Claire’s tongue swept against his lips, asking for entrance, a strangled sort of groaning sound came from quite possibly his chest and his kiss became more insistent, more intense. It was like a match was struck and ignited in Claire and now she couldn’t get enough of him. Hands that were previously held carefully by Jamie were released as she clawed at the back of his shirt trying to rid him of the offending material in the worst possible way. His hands in turn had started to explore her body, a squeeze of her arse; a gentle and hesitant brush of her breast. The first time that they had been together Claire was almost convinced that he had grown an extra set of arms to be in all the places that he was touching her and the thought came to her again. When they finally did separate, a necessity in order to breathe, Claire’s hands were immediately on the buttons of his shirt, while his lifted then dropped, not entirely sure if he should remove her top or leave that to her.
He may kiss like the devil on fire, but he still wasn’t confident in what he should do next. He still needed some direction. Claire smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging manner, as she took his hands and mimicked the movement of removing her top. Jamie sprung into action once more and tried to whip the shirt over her head faster than she was expecting and he nearly beheaded her in the process.
Sex wasn’t always glamourous.
She was specifically watching his eyes when he took in what she was wearing underneath her clothes. Last time she had enjoyed watching his eyes bug out of her head and this time she was able to enjoy the way his blue eyes were drowned out by the black of his pupils as they dilated at the sight of Claire in her underwear. Now wasn’t the time for her to pat herself on the back for her outfit choice- she would do that later.
Jamie had to clear his throat several times before he was able to speak again, and even then all she got was a mumbled, slightly embarrassed, “Ye look bonnie, Sassenach,” before he was kissing her as he ran his hands over her scantily clad body.
Legs awkwardly walking backward together as the back of Claire’s knees hit her mattress. Jamie’s shirt was off at least now, though his jeans still were on and that was always an awkward maneuver at the best of times. Claire’s own jeans were also still on and she quickly undid the button and the zip. Perhaps she should have waited for Jamie to do it, but the poor lad still looked somewhat lost and could probably use all the help he could get.
“This will be a lot easier if you take off your pants,” Claire said casually as she wriggled her own down her hips.
“Aye,” Jamie mumbled, fiddling with his belt and then the button on the top of his jeans. “Suppose I was distracted.”
Claire sat on the mattress as she pulled the material from her calves and tossed them somewhere across her room. She could deal with them later. Jamie in contrast was extremely cautious, had taken off his jeans and had folded them neatly and placed them on the floor. He looked up at her to see her grinning at him.
“I did’na want to make a mess,” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck with a faint blush appearing at the bottom of his neck.
“Yes, that is exactly the thing that I care most about right now,” she answered sarcastically, still smiling at him. “Leave your jeans in an unsightly state and I’ll never have you back around again.”
Jamie’s mouth quirked in a quick smile before his eyes ran over her body.
“Did ye… did ye wear this for me?” It came out as a sort of strangled sound as she stood up from the bed again.
“No, it’s for the guy that comes right after you. This is his favourite,” Claire answered breathlessly as Jamie’s hand reached out and ran lightly down her back, bringing them closer to each other.
“He’s a lucky man,” Jamie breathed.
“I should think so.” Claire’s teasing held barely any of her usual gusto as Jamie’s hand travelled further south and eventually settled on her arse.
“Aye, what’s his name then?”
Their lips were almost touching. Claire’s hand was resting over Jamie’s heartbeat and she could feel it thumping under her fingertips.
There was something to be said about the moments before a kiss. Specifically the kind of kiss before the commencement of sex. The last kiss before all hell broke loose and it was all systems go. The kiss could be fast paced, a clashing of tongues, teeth and lips as each person tried to devour the other. Or there was this- the breath between the kiss that would light the fire. There was something inherently sensual about holding out, about the teasing, about the almost kiss. It was an erotic dance of patience, maybe even of chicken as each person dared the other to make the final connection. To light the fire, stoke the flame, ignite the dynamite. Who would move first?
The touch before this kind of kiss somehow made it even better. The connection of skin on skin. Pulse points feeling the warmth and beating lift of another person. Claire’s hand on Jamie’s chest, his hand cupping her arse. Connected, feeling each other, the electricity that hummed between them, but not… quite… there. It wasn’t quite complete until their lips would meet and it would seal the promise of something more. The breath of the moment before the powder keg exploded into action could last anywhere from a brief few seconds to the longest drawn out tick tock of a grandfather clock as the second hand made it’s inevitable jolted movement. Time moves differently in all kinds of circumstances.
It slows when a child is at school and the ticking clock is the only thing between them and being released for summer holidays.
It speeds up at work when that phone call has to be made, the talk has to be given, the deadline needs to be met, and the time approaches faster than anyone thinks is possible.
It moves at a glacial pace when at a party, stuck listening to the human equivalent of a sloth that is explaining something that nobody cares about in excruciating detail.
It speeds up somehow over the weekend, and one moment it’s Friday, and before you know it two days have passed and there was no way that it could be Monday morning already.
This moment- the seconds between a breath and a kiss could move either way. What may have been a few seconds in reality felt like lifetime to Claire and it only made the build up worth it.
Their noses bumped lightly against each other, her eyes fluttered closed, unable to stay open from the anticipation and pleasure she was feeling (though they had done almost nothing), the shared breath between them - unspoken - are you ready, jump with me - their lips finally met and the match was struck.
Claire was a nurse. She knew that without a stethoscope you couldn’t hear a heartbeat- let alone her own, but she swore that as soon as Jamie’s lips met her own she could hear the twin thump, thump, thumps from the both of them. It felt stupid to think that they could be so synchornised with such a simple kiss, that their heartbeats would compliment with each other. But as Jamie kissed her, and as Claire kissed him back, she felt like she was losing herself in him. Like they were becoming one person. The complete and intrinsic notion of truly knowing someone. Claire was sure that she had never felt like before with another person, let alone after one kiss and in all honesty, it scared the absolute shit out of her. She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to feel it again, but the moment was over as fast as it had come and her attention was drawn back to the feeling of Jamie’s hands running up and down her back. Fingers threading in her hair, tilting her head to gain better access to her mouth. The back of her knees hit the back of the mattress once more, though Claire couldn’t remember walking backwards.
Claire came up for air with a gasp as Jamie’s hands continued to explore her body. A brief brush of her nipple had her shivering involuntarily and the graze of fingers against her hip almost had her legs buckling beneath her.
“Wait,” she said breathlessly, Jamie’s lips attached to her collarbone and his shoulders hunched awkwardly to reach her.
“What’s wrong?” He looked drunk. His pupils were blown wide and his lips already pink and swollen. His brows creased as he looked at her in concern and his hands immediately froze in their exploration of her body.
“Nothing, nothing,” she assured him with a shake of her head. “I just…” Claire looked at the bed behind her and moved in what she had hoped would look like an erotic way to lie down. In reality, she simply climbed on the bed, self consciously with her ass high in the air before turning to face him again and lying on her back. Jamie didn’t seem to think it was awkward, far from it if his facial expression was anything to go by as she saw him swallow heavily, his throat bobbing up and down with the movement. He nodded, somewhat to himself before he joined her on the bed, choosing to lie beside her.
“Just thought it might be better…. On the bed,” Claire explained awkwardly.
Jamie nodded again and she watched as his eyes ran over her body once more before his face blushed profusely and his eyes met her own.
“What’s wrong?” she asked with a smile. She couldn’t help it, there was something about Jamie’s hushed embarrassment that brought her endless amounts of joy.
“Nothin’.” Jamie’s mouth quirked in his half smile, almost somewhat self deprecatingly. When Claire continued to look at him, eyes narrowed and refusing to speak, he continued. “It’s just that… well, as a man, ye dinna want to be the lad that gets caught checkin’ a lass out, ye ken. Ye… ye want to make it sneaky, or if yer a real gentleman, ye dinna look at all.”
Claire smirked and barely contained the laugh that was threatening her lips. “And, are you a real gentleman?”
“I try to be, but havin’ ye lie here wi’ me, like ye are… lookin’ the way that ye are, it’s gettin’ harder and harder.”
“I think that this might be the one situation that you are welcome, if not invited, to look.”
“Aye, I ken… aye, it’s just that.... I’m new to all this and it feels like… Like I might be doin’ somethin’ wrong,” he answered sheepishly.
“You weren’t raised Catholic, were you?” Claire asked, now well and truly grinning at him.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Lingering guilt out of wedlock and all that,” Claire chuckled. “If it helps, you have nothing to feel guilty about and honestly I will feel far worse if you started to avoid looking at me.”
“Aye, I ken, I dinna think I could stop lookin’ at ye if I tried.”
There was a pause between them and the electricity in the room seemed to charge. From the playful banter in an attempt to relax them both, to something deeper, something stronger; sexual tension hummed between them.
“Or stop myself from touchin’ ye,” Jamie finally said as his eyes ran down her body once more, retracing themselves over her breasts several times.
“What’s stopping you?” Claire asked. She was trying to maintain the banter, trying to relax them both, but her question came out airy and breathless. She watched as Jamie swallowed heavily and shook his head, unaware of his own answer.
Come to think of it, what was stopping Claire from touching him? He was wonderfully built, strong and capable, yet she was shy to reach out and run her fingers through the springy red curls that were on his chest. She told herself that she was purposefully taking things slow for him because she knew this was all fresh to him, that she was letting him take the lead and pace to a place that he would be comfortable with. The truth was, however that Claire was beyond nervous. It was ridiculous. She’d done this thousands of times before, well no, not thousands, but she’d done it enough to no longer be this nervous about it.
It was just sex.
Except that it wasn’t. Not this time. Not anymore. Since declaring that they would be seeing each other on a more permanent basis, things had changed. She was desperate for this to be good. To be better than good. The first time together was Jamie’s first time, he had no idea what to expect, except for anything that he would have looked up. Now he knew what it was to lie with someone, and what if Claire suddenly wasn’t good anymore? What if the settlement of their relationship had changed the dynamic so much that she wasn’t able to… to do anything.
“What’s wrong?” Jamie asked, clearly seeing Claire’s inner monologue play out on her face.
“Nothing,” she tried to reassure him, but she still hesitated to reach out and touch him.
“I can see it written plain on your face that there is something. Do ye no’ want to do this? We dinna have to,” Jamie offered and her heart squeezed at the gallantry of the man lying on the bed next to her, whose body was very, very obvious in his desire to continue.
Of course she wanted this. She had thought about this for three weeks, so why was she now suddenly so nervous?
“I do want this,” she answered quietly. “I just…. I don’t know, I’m nervous all of a sudden.”
“Aye, as am I,” Jamie said gruffly, as if he was admitting something shameful. “I’ve… I hope this isn’t too forward,” he hesitated and Claire shook her head to encourage him to continue. “I’ve thought about in great detail what I should like to do wi’ ye, once I had ye to myself, naked… and er…. willing.” His voice was raspy and with every word he spoke Claire found herself more and more drawn to him. Any previous inhibitions she was holding had started to melt away.
“Oh? Well, I’m almost naked… and I am,” Claire cleared her throat, “willing.” Her hands moved to the strap of her bra with the intention to take it off when her hand was stilled by Jamie’s.
“I’ll see to that, if ye dinna mind.”
“Oh.” The sound that came out of Claire’s mouth was one she wasn’t sure she had made before. “If you insist. Why don’t you tell me what you had been planning, these past few weeks.”
“Weel,” Jamie drew out the word as he sat up on his elbow and looked down at her.
And there it was - the feeling was back. The charge had been set and the look in Jamie’s eyes was all it took. Claire couldn’t care anymore if she was going to perform properly or if it was going to go well, because the look in Jamie’s eyes told her that if he didn’t devour her soon, they might both combust.
Jamie’s fingers, rough and calloused brushed lightly against the strap of Claire’s bra. “I’d thought about how ye would lie, similar to how ye are now, but I did’na… I did’na imagine that ye’d be wearing something like this.” He tugged the strap lightly and Claire felt gooseflesh spread across her chest and fought the urge to shiver.
“What were you thinking, out of curiosity?” Claire asked as Jamie slid one strap from her shoulder.
“I dinna ken, to be honest. Perhaps what ye were wearin’ last time. Didn’t think there would be anything like this.” Again his eyes fixed on her breasts, contained by the black lace, focusing on the strain of her nipples against the fabric. “I imagined that I would take my time to thoroughly kiss ye,” Jamie continued before he bent to kiss her softly.
Whoever had taught Jamie to kiss deserved some kind of medal, or perhaps it was pure talent. His lips were soft against hers, gently tugging her lower lip into his mouth. As his tongue gently traced against her lip, Claire cupped his jaw, her fingernails rasping at his light stubble.
“And then,” Jamie pulled away and continued as if there had been no interruption to his sentence. “I would use my hands to memorise ye. I remembered how ye felt, yer skin was so soft.” Jamie’s fingers gently ran from her collarbone, between her still clothed breasts, down her stomach to the top of her underwear. “How warm ye were when ye pressed up against me, how I thought that my whole body would burst into flames when ye… when touched me.” Jamie’s hand paused at her hip before moving to her arse. “How I would grab a handful of yer arse and think that I’d never seen or held anything sae verra fine.” He squeezed slightly and the movement brought Claire slightly onto her side to look at him better.
“I thought then I might try to taste ye again,” Jamie said before dipping his head to her collarbone. His hand was still groping her arse quite strongly and to Claire’s surprise she found that she didn’t mind all that much. But that might have been because Jamie’s mouth was making its way further south. A simple kiss between her breasts before moving slowly across the top of her right.
Sensation was a funny thing, and when done correctly could make someone lose stock of their body and what was being touched. When faced with the pleasure of Jamie’s mouth on her nipple, sucking through the lace of her bra to pull it into his mouth and a hand that was gripping her arse, it was a surprise when Jamie’s other hand had somehow reached around her back and managed to undo the clasp of her bra. She hadn’t even noticed. So when Jamie desperately released her arse from his hand and her nipple from his mouth and both hands came together to strip the bra from her body - to say that she was shocked was an understatement.
“How did you do that?” She asked breathlessly, as Jamie’s mouth fell open slightly at the sight of a topless Claire lying down beneath him.
“There was a clasp at the back,” he explained logically before focusing his attention to her other breast.
“I didn’t… yes I know that… I meant… fuck it. It doesn’t matter.” Claire’s thoughts became incoherent as she lay on her back and Jamie’s blanketed her. He was hot, Claire thought that he must run about ten degrees hotter than the average person and she could feel his cock pressing insistently against her left thigh. Claire’s hands automatically went to his back, as her legs fell open for him to settle between them. One hand ran over the barely veiled muscles that rippled as he held himself above her, the other travelled up the nape of his neck to tangle in the longer curls that rested there. Jamie rocked forward and she could feel his somewhat neglected manhood press against her thigh again as he let out a heavy huff of breath.
They were both still wearing their underwear for goodness sake. Things had barely even started and Claire was already chasing a high. Claire bent one knee and wrapped the other around his hip. The movement shifted him so that he aligned less with her inner thigh and more to a place where she was actually craving him. At his first thrust forward Claire actually flinched and Jamie reared back as if he had hurt her.
“Christ, sorry, are ye alright? Was I too rough? I shouldn’t have... it was just somethin’ that I read that… ye might enjoy.” Jamie’s face was running desperately over Claire’s face, trying to see if she was in pain. In contrast, Claire’s eyes were running over Jamie’s face trying to make sense of what he was saying.
“Huh?” She said stupidly, wondering how she could pull him back down to her and remove both of their underwear at the same time.
“Aye, are ye hurt?”
“No?” Claire answered in confusion. “What did you do?”
“Yer… well… yer…” Jamie looked pointedly at her breasts and Claire’s eyes looked down as well, expecting to see an open wound with the way that Jamie was looking at her.
“My nipple?” Claire asked in confusion with a frown on her face.
Jamie’s cheeks flushed a deep red at the word and Claire fought the urge to giggle. “It’s fine. I… I was enjoying it actually. No, I was wondering how to get our underwear off, without stopping you from whatever you were do- did you say you read something?”
If at all possible Jamie flushed a deeper red, the colour moving from his cheeks and mottling down his neck.
“Were you.... Did you do research?” Claire asked in surprise. She tried to keep her tone light, as if she were just asking about the weather, trying to spare him embarrassment. It didn’t work.
“Aye,” Jamie said sheepishly. “It’s just that… weel, last time it was my first time, and I wanted this time to go well, for ye to enjoy it. I ken last time was a bit… messy, it was’na probably what ye thought ye were going to get so I wanted to be a little bit more prepared. I did’na want to be presumptuous of course. I did’na ken how tonight was goin’ to go, but I wanted to be prepared. Bring ye… a bit more pleasure if I could.”
“Oh,” Claire answered in surprise. “Last time… last time was fine.”
Fine was very much the wrong word to say at that moment as Jamie quite obviously refused to meet her eyes.
“More than fine,” Claire amended. “I… I very much enjoyed it last time, and was very much looking forward to it again.” Now she knew why Jamie had flushed such a deep red. For some reason admitting that to him was mortifying.
“Look,” she continued after taking a steadying breath. “In my… experience, this is best… this works the best when… How do I want to say this? If you spend the entire time wondering if you are doing this right or wrong, or if you need to last longer for my benefit, if you spend too much time overthinking things and not actually enjoying them, the other person can tell, and it, this sounds so cliche, it takes the magic away from the moment. These things are best enjoyed in the moment.”
“Aye.” Jamie nodded.
“If you are worried about hurting me, I will tell you. And it takes time to learn how the other person is going to react to something. I was… well I was quite enjoying what you were doing and my reaction was more out of pleasure than anything else.”
“It was?” Jamie finally met her eyes again and smiled.
“Trust. That’s what… that’s what it comes down to. You told me last time that you were happy that you waited for someone that you trusted and I… well, I trust you,” Claire said the words before she even realised that she meant them and she cupped his jaw gently. “I trust you,” she repeated more firmly and Jamie turned his face to kiss her palm before nodding.
While the frenzied kissing and movements had been interrupted, this settled for something new, which wasn’t altogether a bad thing.
One of Jamie’s hands travelled down her body, this time his fingers slipping beneath the material of her underwear before dragging it down her legs. Somehow his own were lost at the same time, but Claire didn’t really care how that had happened.
He was on top of her again, the warmth of his body pressing against hers, she could feel his strength. She knew that he worked out, that he was strong, but as he held himself above her, her hands gripping his biceps she actually realised that he held an unbridled amount of strength about him and all that did was turn her on more.
He began to move again, small withdrawals and forward thrusts as he moved against her. It wasn’t entirely what she wanted, not a whole lot of stimulation going on for her and by repositioning themselves she was able to get a hand on his cock and give it a few good strokes. That stopped Jamie in his tracks and an involuntary huff of breath left his lungs.
“Give me your hand,” Claire said as she took it and moved it between her own legs. “Just a warm up before the main event.”
Jamie nodded determinedly as his fingers hesitantly moved over her and she shivered again. He hesitated and she breathed the word “trust” before he continued again. One finger eventually found its mark and pushed gently inside her. Her hand continued its rhythmic movement over the length of him, feeling the muscles his arm shudder beside her. Good lord he was talented even if he had no idea what he was doing. Claire felt herself shudder as a second finger was added.
“This alright?” Jamie asked hoarsely and it was all Claire could do to nod in response.
Suddenly she stopped. Like a light switching on in her mind.
“Shit.”
“What?” Jamie paused what he was doing and Claire almost cried.
“Shit. Fucking. Shit.”
“What? What’s wrong? Am I… did I hurt ye?” Jamie looked panicked, withdrawing his hand.
“No, no, I just. Fuck. I didn’t get any protection.” Claire could have kicked herself. All the planning, all the preparation and her horny, sex starved brain had forgotten the simplest thing of protection. It was lucky that she was on birth control last time, but that wasn’t always effective and it was a miracle that she didn’t get pregnant. They wouldn’t be doing that again any time soon.
“Oh,” Jamie shook his head and backed away from the bed.
“It’s ok, we can just… we can do hand… stuff,” Claire tried to sound comforting. To get so worked up, only to forget the stupid fucking protection. She was an idiot.
“Oh no. No… it’s not… I did’na, as I said, I did’na want to be presumptuous or anything but I… er… I bought some.” Jamie bent down to his neatly folded jeans and pulled six connected condoms from the pocket.
“Six? And you weren’t being presumptuous?” Claire couldn’t help but laugh as relief flooded her body.
“Aye, well… seemed silly to only bring the one,” Jamie answered with a shrug.
“You bloody brilliant man. Get back here,” she demanded as Jamie grinned and they resumed their earlier position.
--
“When should I… should I put it on now?” Jamie asked as Claire’s back arched on the bed. “I like what ye’re doing with yer hand, but… I think…”
“Yes, now, sure, now, yes,” Claire answered breathlessly, almost immediately regretting her response when he withdrew from her.
Jamie sat back on his heels awkwardly and tenderly picked up the pack of condoms.
“Weel… so this is a thing I’ve never done before,” he said awkwardly as he tore the packet. Luckily Claire stopped herself from laughing and sat up to help him, though she couldn’t entirely stop the smile from coming to her face. Last time had felt so natural. One, two, three and his virginity was taken. This time it was like every possible interruption was getting in the way. She was half expecting her phone to ring with an emergency that she couldn’t ignore, and she considered knocking on the hardwood of her bedside table for luck.
“Not even for a practise?” She asked curiously. She’d never thought of it in all honesty. She just assumed that men… just knew how to put on one. It wasn’t that difficult really. Pinch the end and roll- though she supposed as a young girl she’d had to learn how to put in a tampon. Same kettle of fish she supposed. All things that were learned eventually.
Jamie closed his eyes as she rolled the condom up his length and she snorted a breath of a laugh. “Might want to keep your eyes open next time, see how it’s done.”
“Sorry,” he murmured as they lay back on the bed together. “Just feels good with your hands on me, is all.”
Claire hummed out a contented response and things started again, once more. The foreplay of the night had been a rollercoaster. Worked up only to stop with nerves. Worked up again only for them to have a discussion on trust. Worked up a third time only to stop and think they had no protection.
Worked up a fourth time and Claire’s body was on a knife’s point of pleasure. She was sure that it wouldn’t take long to push her over the edge and she was sure that Jamie felt almost exactly the same. If she came after one thrust it would do wonders for his ego.
Finally, Jamie aligned at her entrance and slowly pushed himself forward with a grunt.
“Jesus,” he breathed as Claire’s body contracted around him. “Feels different than last time, but still... fuck me…” Jamie said with a groan of contentment.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do,” Claire couldn’t help but reply as Jamie snorted with laughter into her neck.
He tried to maintain a simple rhythm but his body was soon moving of its own accord and they were both chasing their highs, a competition to who could reach it first, or make the other one reach it first. Neither of them knew, but his body was pounding into her at a pace that may leave bruises in the morning and she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She knew she was making sounds, she knew that she probably sounded like an idiot but every grunt and groan from Jamie was spurring her on. She didn’t realise that the guttural grunt of pleasure from a man could bring her so much satisfaction. Perhaps it was the knowledge that it was her body and that she was the one that could bring him to his knees. That she was the only one that could cause him to make those sounds, and better yet she was the only one to have heard it. Jamie moved to sit on his knees before he bent over Claire and grabbed the headboard, her hips now at a new angle and he seemed to be hitting somewhere deeper than before. Claire clenched around him as his pubic bone brushed against her own and she squeaked high pitched a sound she wasn’t sure she had ever made before. Jamie didn’t notice though and continued to thrust into her at a punishing pace.
She was getting close, so was he, she could tell. The sexual tension and build up of three weeks, of wondering if he was seeing other people, of thinking that he was seeing other people, of going on a disastrous date, of waiting, of praying for this moment to happen again built up in Claire.
“Mo Chridhe.”
Claire had no idea what the words meant as they burst from Jamie’s lips and Claire came in a moment of absolute bliss. A string of profanities also left her own mouth but if you asked her what they were, she wasn’t sure she would be able to remember. Jamie continued to thrust and Claire felt the moment the tension left his body and he released.
Slowly they came down together. Jamie’s brow had drops of sweat in his hairline and there was a fine sheen on Claire’s chest. Jamie released the headboard from his grip and Claire let her legs down from his hips. They were both breathing heavily, their skin red and flushed from exertion. It was all they could do to smile at each other.
Gently Jamie pulled out of her and she helped him remove the (surprisingly) full condom, tying it in a knot before disposing of it. They flopped down on the bed next to each other, entirely spent, but happy.
“Was it as good as you remember?” Claire asked, turning to him.
Jamie kissed her gently and she felt butterflies in her stomach that definitely weren’t there before. Butterflies that left her tingling from the top of her head down to her toes.
“To have ye one night, Sassenach, I thought that I could die a happy man. Then have ye again, to see ye as ye fall apart around me and to ken that it is me that ye reach for… I dinna think I could ever get enough.”
Claire could feel herself blushing, but it was covered quite well by her already flushed skin. “You’ll stay tonight?”
“Aye, as long as ye’ll have me.” Jamie sounded sleepy and Claire couldn’t blame him. Her body was exhausted and spent in the best way possible. Before they could fully drift off, Jamie pulled on his boxers and Claire threw on one of her loosest shirts and some underwear.
Jamie’s arms around her, his deep even breath starting to lull her to sleep, Claire felt safe, relaxed, happy and then suddenly very, very awake, as Jamie drifted off to sleep.
“I think I might be in love wi’ ye, My Sassenach.”
I knew how I wanted this chapter to go, but getting it out of my head and onto the page was a struggle.
Thank you for your comments and messages, thank you for sticking with the story.
I truly hope you enjoy it!
A03 Link here
—
Jamie sat in his usual seat beside Claire and set out his books. The teacher began speaking and Claire immediately started taking notes but Jamie’s mind was far beyond the classroom. He’d never really put much thought into a school dance before. He’d never really put much thought into asking someone. He wondered if Claire expected him to ask her. Did she think that it was unspoken that they would go together? They were friends after all. It wouldn’t be out of the ballpark for them to go together. Should he still ask her though? If she was expecting it, would she want him to ask her? It was more than likely that she would. He remembered dances past and hearing Geillis and Mary chatter away about the boy they hoped would ask them, and the others that had already asked and were now “off the market”. He should ask her. Clarify that it was just “as friends”. It didn’t need to be anything more than that.
Jamie glanced beside him. A curl had already escaped the confines of her hair tie and she was tucking it behind her ear in frustration before she felt Jamie’s eyes on her and she turned her head. Jamie looked away quickly and tried to focus on what the teacher was writing on the board, but he was distracted as Claire nudged his arm and looked pointedly at the corner of her book.
Are you alright?
The words were written in her clean handwriting and Jamie felt a swell of affection bloom in his chest and explode down his spine for her. She would never know the depth of his feelings for her- Jamie barely understood them himself- and why simply reading her words, asking if he was alright would have such an effect on him. He nodded briefly before he focused back on the whiteboard at the front of the room, and started to copy down some of the notes that he had in no way-shape or form been paying attention to.
Claire nudged him again and he looked back at her book.
What’s wrong?
She’d crossed out the words above and underlined these ones, looking at him with her eyes narrowed. Jamie fought the urge to roll his eyes at her persistence as he pulled her book toward him and hastily scribbled back a reply.
Nothing, just zoned out for a second.
He watched as Claire’s hawk eyes scanned the words quickly before narrowing on him again.
Tell me about it after class.
She made sure that Jamie saw her reply before she pulled her book back and began taking rapid notes again. Jamie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth as he watched her. Not much got past Claire when it came to Jamie, apparently. Except perhaps the way that he truly felt towards her.
He would ask her to the dance, he decided- and not just as friends.
I knew how I wanted this chapter to go, but getting it out of my head and onto the page was a struggle.
Thank you for your comments and messages, thank you for sticking with the story.
I truly hope you enjoy it!
A03 Link here
---
Jamie sat in his usual seat beside Claire and set out his books. The teacher began speaking and Claire immediately started taking notes but Jamie’s mind was far beyond the classroom. He’d never really put much thought into a school dance before. He’d never really put much thought into asking someone. He wondered if Claire expected him to ask her. Did she think that it was unspoken that they would go together? They were friends after all. It wouldn’t be out of the ballpark for them to go together. Should he still ask her though? If she was expecting it, would she want him to ask her? It was more than likely that she would. He remembered dances past and hearing Geillis and Mary chatter away about the boy they hoped would ask them, and the others that had already asked and were now “off the market”. He should ask her. Clarify that it was just “as friends”. It didn’t need to be anything more than that.
Jamie glanced beside him. A curl had already escaped the confines of her hair tie and she was tucking it behind her ear in frustration before she felt Jamie’s eyes on her and she turned her head. Jamie looked away quickly and tried to focus on what the teacher was writing on the board, but he was distracted as Claire nudged his arm and looked pointedly at the corner of her book.
Are you alright?
The words were written in her clean handwriting and Jamie felt a swell of affection bloom in his chest and explode down his spine for her. She would never know the depth of his feelings for her- Jamie barely understood them himself- and why simply reading her words, asking if he was alright would have such an effect on him. He nodded briefly before he focused back on the whiteboard at the front of the room, and started to copy down some of the notes that he had in no way-shape or form been paying attention to.
Claire nudged him again and he looked back at her book.
What’s wrong?
She’d crossed out the words above and underlined these ones, looking at him with her eyes narrowed. Jamie fought the urge to roll his eyes at her persistence as he pulled her book toward him and hastily scribbled back a reply.
Nothing, just zoned out for a second.
He watched as Claire’s hawk eyes scanned the words quickly before narrowing on him again.
Tell me about it after class.
She made sure that Jamie saw her reply before she pulled her book back and began taking rapid notes again. Jamie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth as he watched her. Not much got past Claire when it came to Jamie, apparently. Except perhaps the way that he truly felt towards her.
He would ask her to the dance, he decided- and not just as friends.
The morning seemed to fly by and before Jamie knew what was happening, he and Claire were walking side by side to her Biology class.
There was somewhat of an awkward quiet between them. Claire was evidently waiting for Jamie to say something and Jamie was very deliberately avoiding her eyes.
“Are you nervous about the dance?” Claire asked, breaking the silence and nudging Jamie with her shoulder.
Jamie chuckled and shook his head. No, it wasn’t the actual dance he was worried about. It was the asking of a date- asking a friend, that had his stomach in knots.
“You seem off,” Claire pressed, unwilling to let it go. “Was it the messages you were getting? Did something happen to your father? Is everything alright? Did you forget to do your homework? Did morning tea upset your stomach?” Claire started throwing rapid fire questions at Jamie and he had to speak over her to stop her from talking.
“No, no, Claire, shh, no.” Jamie fought the urge to roll his eyes at her as she gave up with a huff. “The messages were from Laoghaire. She’s excited that I have a phone I guess,” Jamie said with an uncomfortable half shrug. “Excited about the dance as well,” he added as an afterthought.
“Oh. I see. Yes. Well. Yes, of course.” Claire shook her head, as though she was trying to clear it, but Jamie didn’t see that. He was avoiding looking at Claire and instead watching as Frank Randall walked in a direct beline toward them.
“Hi Claire, James,” he greeted them both happily, his cheeks flushed lightly.
Jamie nodded in response with a tight lipped smile. Mr Randall insisted on calling Jamie “James” no matter how many of the other teachers called him Jamie and no matter how many times Jamie asked him not to. It seemed that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
“Hi Frank,” Claire replied happily, completely missing Jamie’s discomfort. Or perhaps she was ignoring it. For how impressively Claire managed to pick up on Jamie’s moods, she seemed to be particularly obtuse about his current disposition.
“Interesting about the dance. They don’t usually do one so close to school starting, do they?” Frank fell into step with them as they continued across the courtyard to Claire’s classroom.
“Oh? How many dances do you usually have? Is it a constant thing? Every month or something?” Claire asked curiously.
Jamie opened his mouth to answer her but Frank beat him to it.
“Well, there’s usually the welcome back to school dance, but that’s, what... normally a month after we’re back. Not two weeks. And then there’s the Samhain dance- you know Halloween. That’s not really a dance. It’s more like… a gathering of sorts. Christmas obviously. And then nothing again until the Seniors have their farewell towards the end of the school year. But there’s also the fete that happens on the weekend, usually in May. Raises money for the school, with games and rides and things.”
“Quite a lot of activity then,” Claire commented. Jamie could feel her eyes on him, but he just shrugged and continued to look forward.
“I suppose so. Keeps everyone quite busy through the year,” Frank continued, calling Claire’s attention back to him. “Seems that they are blending a few of the class years together for this one. They usually stagger it out so that they don’t have so many students all at once. But it looks like they are doing it in sections this time- the Juniors and then the Seniors. More options for the grades to mix I suppose.”
Jamie groaned internally. Perfect. That meant that Laoghaires’ year would be attending the dance with his- no wonder she was so excited. Jamie felt his phone buzz in his pocket again. So far he was not completely enjoying having a mobile phone. Though the one person that he did want to text was walking right beside him, so maybe he would reserve judgment for the time being. Jamie’s mind drifted as they walked to Claire's class and as they arrived at the room he focused back to whatever Frank was prattling on about.
“- expect that there will be a lot of fuss over finding dates for this particular one.”
Jamie’s eyes narrowed as Claire put down her bag.
“What with the years mixing I mean. Which leads me to ask…”
“I didn’t realise you had Bio with Claire,” Jamie stated, well aware of the fact that Frank did not in fact have Biography with her. Frank started to answer but Jamie interrupted him again. “I’ll see you after class, Claire. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
There were several reasons why Jamie did what he did next.
1- The fact that Frank Randall was surely about to ask Claire out to the dance.
2- That he’d been wanting to reach out and tuck that stray curl back behind Claire’s ear since it had escaped her ponytail during class.
3- He wanted Frank Randall to see that there was something between Jamie and Claire even if Jamie didn’t know what it was.
However, if you asked Jamie directly why he did what he did, he would very honestly say that he had no idea what made him do it.
Carefully Jamie reached out and gently brushed the curl from Claire’s cheek, feeling his fingers tremble as they feathered against the soft skin of her face. Time seemed to slow down as he tucked the curl, Claire’s eyes met his and it was like molten gold churning and bubbling away and the urge to kiss her had never been stronger. Carefully Jamie dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed it briefly.
“Right here.” He repeated before he adjusted his own backpack and stalked off to class. His hand tingled, feeling like he had just received an electric shot. He chanced a quick glance back to where Frank and Clare were standing. Claire looked shell shocked at the intimate gesture and Frank was looking frantically between the two of them, trying to get Claire’s attention back.
—
Jamie was exactly where Claire had left him, breathing a little heavier than normal after sprinting across the courtyard to be there as she left her class. He noticed that her cheeks pinked slightly when she saw him but she grinned nonetheless.
“Everyone won’t stop talking about this bloody dance,” she said casually as they walked toward the field to have their lunch. “Geillis was a steady stream of consciousness throughout Bio about who had already asked who, what she was going to wear, what I was going to wear. It was ridiculous.”
“Aye, the lasses seem to get excited by it,” Jamie agreed as they walked to their lunch time spot together.
“What about the lads?” Claire asked as she tried to mimic Jamie’s accent. “Do they enjoy it as much?”
“Ye’d have to ask them. I’m sure Rupert and Angus dinna mind it so much... if they’re able to snag a date that is,” Jamie answered as he dropped his bag into the ground.
“Will they get dates? Is that a thing here? Everyone has to have a date?” Claire asked as she delicately placed her own bag on the ground and sat next to it, removing her lunch.
“They dinna have to,” Jamie said as Angus called out his name from the field. “Ye can go stag if ye wish.”
Claire hummed in reply as Louise, Mary and Geillis plopped themselves next to her, immediately calling her attention to their own conversation.
Jamie looked down at the group of girls as Angus called his name again, waiting for Jamie to go and kick the ball with the other lads.
No, you didn’t need a date, but that didn’t mean that Jamie didn’t want one.
—
Jamie realised that he hadn’t actually eaten anything by the time the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. He shook his head as he grabbed an apple from his bag and hastily stuffed it into his mouth.
“Don’t choke,” Claire called as she was pulled away from him by Geillis. Jamie smiled back at her, his mouth full of the fruit with juice dribbling down his chin, making her laugh in response.
“See you after class,” she waved as Geillis shook her head at the both of them.
—-
It seemed that Tom had a personal vendetta against Jamie in that afternoon's PE class. He pushed himself harder, ran faster and played more aggressively than Jamie had ever seen him, and Jamie had no idea why. He raised his hand for every question in the class and threw specific looks at Jamie when he was picked.
Jamie didn’t particularly care that Tom was hogging the spotlight, Jamie’s mind was far too preoccupied wondering how he was going to ask Claire to the dance- well, that and he hadn’t had anything apart from his apple for lunch and he was starving.
As soon as class was over he dug around in his bag for his forgotten lunch, disappointed to realise that in his haste to get to Claire’s in the morning and show her his new phone he had actually forgotten to pack said lunch. He finally pulled out a long forgotten muesli bar and inhaled it.
“Fraser!” Jamie turned to the sound of Tom calling out to him. “Wait up.”
Rupert and Angus both paused as well, not sure if they should hang back and wait for Jamie. He waved them away with a slight shrug. Since when did Tom want to talk to him about anything?
“Ye were’na keeping up today,” Tom said as he fell into step with Jamie.
“Missed lunch,” Jamie shrugged back. Did Tom just want to rub in that he’d got the best of him?
“Heard yer taking Laoghaire to the dance as well,” Tom continued as if Jamie hadn’t spoken.
Jamie inhaled sharply and an oat from the muesli bar he had just demolished wedged itself in the back of his throat and he spluttered helplessly.
“Ye did’na want people to find out?” Tom guessed. There was something about the way he was looking at Jamie that made him all the more uncomfortable but after coughing and spluttering and finally clearing his throat, with his eyes streaming with tears Jamie could actually respond.
“Who the hell told ye that?”
“Laoghaire’s been spoutin’ off ta everyone that ye’ll be going together. Thought ye’d already asked her.”
“I’mnae takin’ Laoghaire to the dance,” Jamie disagreed vehemently.
“Oh,” Tom replied in genuine surprise. “I just thought… that… everyone thinks that there’s something going on with the both of ye.”
“Who- What- who thinks that? Why?” Jamie stuttered. He would kill Laoghaire for making things up about the two of them. Especially if word got back to Claire.
“She’s always around ye, and ye canna deny the way that ye look at her.”
“I look at her?” Jamie repeated incredulously. “Christ, she’s a child. There is nothin’ goin’ on with me and Laoghaire.”
“Oh right, it’s just that… Nah, never mind eh. I’ll see ye tomorrow.”
“It’s what? What, Tom!” Jamie tried to stop him from leaving and to spit out whatever he’d been about to say but he was cut off feeling a tap on his shoulder. Lord help him if it was Laoghaire, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
“You alright?” Claire stood beside him, her eyebrows furrowed as she watched the retreating figure of Tom Christie.
“Aye,” Jamie answered absentmindedly before shaking his head clear and focusing on Claire. “Aye, just wanted to have a word after a class.”
“Yes, he seemed to run circles around you this afternoon. In fact, at one point I think he literally was running circles around you,” Claire laughed as they headed out of the school front gates together.
“I thought ye were supposed to be payin’ attention in class,” Jamie scoffed as he nudged her with his shoulder.
“I was. But it’s awfully distracting when you hear the whistle being blown out on the field and a lot of yelling.”
“Sorry to distract ye from yer class then,” Jamie scoffed with laughter. “What were ye learning about?”
“I don’t know honestly. Frank kept trying to get my attention and between that and you playing out on the field I have no idea what Mr Randall was talking about.”
“What did Frank want?” Jamie asked cautiously, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer.
“Who knows,” Claire sighed heavily as she pulled her hair free of its tie. “Mr Randall got fed up with him and sent him outside for a bit. Imagine having your own father as your teacher and him sending you outside for playing up. Definitely can’t call favouritism there, can you?”
“No, I suppose not,” Jamie said, letting out a brief sigh of relief that Frank hadn’t beaten Jamie to the punch in asking Claire to the dance before Jamie had the chance.
“I think I’d ask to be in a different class if it were me. Not that my dad was a teacher. Even Lamb though. Imagine the pressure if you got something wrong. There’s no break in your day. You wake up and there’s your dad. You go to school and there he is again. You get home, boom- Homework on the table with the one and only. It would be exhausting.”
Jamie merely grunted response as Claire continued.
“Imagine if he gave you detention. I can’t imagine dinner would be great after that. I wonder if Frank feels that kind of expectation? That he has to be perfect for his father? I bet he does. I would. If it were me. Or maybe that would make me act out? I don’t know,” Claire continued as they walked to her house. “I guess it depends on the kind of person your parent is. I think my mother would have let more things slide than my father. She could have been a teacher. What did your mum do? You’ve never told me.”
Jamie shook his head trying to trace how Claire had landed there in her musings.
“She was an artist- a painter,” he answered eventually as Claire’s house came into view with Lamb on the front lawn. “She ran the household of course and helped Da on the farm, but if ye asked her, she’d say she was a painter.”
“Oh, the art in your house?”
“Aye, some of it’s hers. The uhh… the paintin’ of Jen and me that’s in the living room. She did that one.”
Claire’s eyebrows furrowed and she squinted her eyes as if she was trying to see something very far away. “Oh, as children,” she said in understanding, “I remember. She’s very good.”
“Aye,” Jamie said through a sigh. “She was.”
Lamb was waving at them as they edged closer to Claire’s house. He looked excited by something. Jamie couldn’t help but be a little frustrated that Lamb was clearly waiting for them. He’d wanted to ask Claire to the dance but he didn’t want to do it in front of her uncle. How awkward that would be!
“Claire. Thank goodness you're home!” He said excitedly as Claire opened her front gate.
“Is everything alright?” Claire asked cautiously, perhaps with a tinge of fear in her voice. Jamie was sure that Lamb hardly noticed, such was his excitement, but Jamie could hear it.
“Marvellous, bumblebee. Marvellous. Come inside.” He said in a rush before he walked, no, skipped back indoors.
Jamie looked after Lamb in curiosity as Claire rolled her eyes. “I’d better go in. He might combust.”
“Aye,” Jamie agreed half heartedly. He couldn’t ask her now. It would be rushed, and he hadn’t at all planned what he was actually going to say.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Claire asked expectantly. There was something else that flashed across her face but Jamie couldn’t quite tell what it was. One second it was there and then it was gone. Maybe she did want him to ask her to the dance?
“Aye,” he repeated. “I’ll be here.”
Claire looked at him for a moment longer than was strictly necessary for saying goodbye to someone and Jamie took a deep breath. He may as well just ask her.
“Claire!” Lamb yelled from inside the house impatiently and Claire threw Jamie an apologetic look before she replied that she was coming.
“See you!” She said brightly before she turned and headed inside the house, closing the front door carefully behind her.
Jamie felt his phone buzz in his pocket with a new message. He didn’t have to guess who it would be, he already knew.
—
Jamie was late.
Jamie was never late.
Jamie woke up with the crow of the rooster.
Jamie was never late.
This morning- Jamie was late.
Either the bloody rooster hadn’t crowed or a night of fitful sleeping dreaming of all the ways to ask Claire to the dance, only for her to turn around and tell him that she was going with Frank Randall, had exhausted him so much that he didn’t hear the stupid rooster.
He sent Claire a message from his phone at the time that he would usually be turning onto her street.
-Running late. Meet you at school.-
He’d actually spent too long thinking about how to word his first actual text message to Claire Beauchamp and had wasted more time that he didn’t have.
Claire responded almost immediately and Jamie felt an unwarranted thrill go through him as he read her response. Short as it was.
-No worries. See you there.-
And then a moment later another message from her. A sleepy face emoji.
-Something like that.- Jamie responded as he grabbed a piece of toast from Jenny’s outstretched hand, grunting in thanks.
“Better pedal hard, braither,” Jenny shook her head, grinning at him as he shoved the bread into his mouth, chewing furiously.
“Aye, thank ye Jen,” he mumbled around a full mouth as he ran for his bike.
It was days like these, not that there were many, that he wished he already had his licence and could take his motorbike. He knew that his Da would have a heart attack if he took the dirt bike out on the road but it would certainly be better than having to pedal furiously to school.
—
Jamie locked his bike up on the racks as the first bell rang. He would make it just in time. He hoped that Claire had saved him a seat in Homeroom.
—
Breathlessly Jamie arrived at the back of the line of students as they were heading into class. He could see the back of Claire’s head as she walked through the doorway and Jamie tried to slow his breathing. She was talking with someone, Geillis more than likely, and laughing at whatever the other person was saying. Jamie wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers, still trying to calm his breathing as he followed the line into the classroom.
Perhaps it was worth being late just to see Claire’s face as he walked in. Jamie was sure that he looked a dreadful sight. He’d ridden his bike as fast as he could, he hadn’t had time to brush his hair or his teeth. He could almost guarantee that his cheeks would be red and flushed with sweat brimming along his hairline.
In contrast, Claire sat at their usual desk, her hair was in two braids, taming the riotous curls. She smiled at him as he entered the room, her cheeks pinking slightly as he smiled back. Her skin looked particularly glowing, pale as she was, and when she smiled at him, Jamie felt his heart stutter in his chest. He didn’t know that hearts did that.
“Mr Fraser. If ye’d like to take yer seat,” an impatient voice said from behind him and Jamie looked to see the thoroughly unimpressed Mrs Fox waiting for him to move from the front of the room.
“Aye, sorry,” he mumbled, ducking his head and moving to the spare seat next to Claire. The sounds of the other students laughing at his embarrassment was unheard by Jamie as he slipped into the chair next to Claire and she whispered a quiet hello to him.
Jamie tried to pay attention to the morning announcements from Mrs Fox but he could help stealing furtive glances at Claire sitting next to him. She seemed to be doing the same thing and a few times they accidentally caught each other’s eyes. Blushes from both of them quickly followed whenever that happened.
The bell finally rang and Jamie wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers. Perhaps he could ask her to the dance on the way to their first classes.
Just as he picked up his bag he was accosted by Rupert and Angus.
“Ye wake up late, ye numpty?”
“It’s not like ye to sleep in.”
“Maybe he finally figured out what that phone was for?”
“Kept him up all night?? Found a few choice websites??”
“He does’na look dehydrated to ye, does he Rupe?”
“Nah lad, but his eyes are bloodshot. Must’na’ha slept a wink.”
“Shove off,” Jamie groaned at their adolescent banter.
“So did ye use any of the sites I sent ye? Messy Bessy?” Angus continued despite the withering glare that Jamie was giving him. “I remember my first phone and unmonitored internet privileges.”
“Aye, ye could’na write for a week,” Rupert laughed loudly as Angus shoved him.
“Will ye two give it a rest!” Jamie growled as Claire walked half a pace in front of them with Mary. So much for asking her to the dance in the walk between classes.
“But ye’re never late Jamie,” Rupert said in mock outrage. “Especially since that lass has come along,” he continued tiling his head pointedly at Claire.
“Aye, well I was this mornin’, so ye can shut her mouths about it.”
“Seems a bit grumpy to ye, doesn’t he, Rupert,” Angus asked innocently.
“Aye, I’d say he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, Angus,” Rupert replied casually.
“Ah, but ye’re assuming he got any sleep at all.” With that Angus and Rupert lost themselves in laughter, dodging away from Jamie’s fists with an infuriating practised ease.
Claire turned around to see what the boys were laughing at and she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Jamie to explain. He shook his head quickly but could feel the stupid flush coming to his cheeks as she looked at him. She smiled back before turning to Mary and engaging her in conversation again.
—
He didn’t really get a chance to talk to Claire again until their break and even then he barely managed to get a word in as Geillis and Louise monopolised her time. Jamie wasn’t sure what they were talking about but Louise kept giggling and Claire was blushing, so maybe he was glad that he wasn’t privy to that particular discussion.
Jamie earned a few hard nudges from Rupert who was trying to talk to him about something and Jamie was very clearly not listening.
However when the word “dance” caught in Jamie’s mind, he stopped watching the girls and turned to hear whatever Rupert was saying.
“I’m going to ask her at lunch,” he finished and Jamie shook his head at his friend as he tried to catch up.
“Yer sure she’ll say yes?” Angus asked doubtfully, his eyes darting over to the group of girls quickly and back. “What about Jamie?”
“What about me? Who are ye askin’?” Jamie asked quickly, his heart skipping a beat as he hoped it wasn’t Claire.
“I thought he was taking Laoghaire? ‘Asides, Jamie, ye did go wi’ her a’fore. I didn’t think if ye’d want to again,” Rupert answered nervously.
“Go with her again?” Jamie repeated. “Oh Geillis!” He suddenly realised. “Nah I was’na gonna ask her to the dance. Yer welcome to.”
The bell rang, indicating the end to their break and Rupert looked cheery again.
“So ye’r not taking Laoghaire?”
“No!” Jamie shook his head violently. “I need to have a word with the lass. I dinna ken why she’s telling everyone and their mother that I’ve asked her.”
“Aye, I was curious about it. I assumed ye’d be takin’ the lass,” Rupert answered, inclining his head towards Claire and the other girls.
“Aye,” Jamie mumbled in response. “I suppose so.”
“Ye dinna want to ask her?” Rupert asked in astonishment as they headed to the classrooms.
“Aye, I do. I just… I dinna ken how.” Jamie shook his head. He hadn’t had any trouble asking Geillis to the last dance they went to. But Claire was different. He also didn’t really know if Claire actually wanted him to ask her. Maybe she didn’t want to have any date at all.
Rupert grunted in agreement, though his eyes were firmly on the back on Geillis’ redhead and he fiddled with his tie uselessly.
--
Jamie didn’t love Tuesday’s. While Claire headed to Biology, Jamie had Physics. They did have Math together in the afternoon, but the middle double period on Tuesday’s in their separate classes, seemed like the longest part of the week to Jamie.
They hadn’t even been back at school that long, even more, with Claire at his school, and already he was very attached to having the same classes as her. As a studious note-taker in all of their classes, she encouraged him to be a better student. He could have used her influence in Physics if he was honest. It was one of the hardest classes he’d ever taken, he wondered if it was even worth it.
The other issue was that Tom had Biology with Claire. That’s where they had first met and struck up a friendship. Jamie could see Tom now, walking beside her to the classroom, making her laugh at something. That should be Jamie walking with her to class, making her laugh- asking her to the dance- Not Tom.
Tom looked back as if he could head Jamie’s thoughts and Jamie thought that he saw him smirk, but it could have been nothing. Jamie shook the look off with a sigh as he dropped his bag to the ground and entered his classroom. If he wasn’t in such a huff, he would have seen Claire look at him as well, a look of longing on her face.
---
Sometimes Physics just didn’t make any sense. Jamie looked at notes written on his page about the module they were concentrating on.
“Analyse the motion of projectiles by resolving the motion into horizontal and vertical components, making the following assumptions; a constant vertical acceleration due to gravity, and zero air resistance.”
Jamie looked at the words. Sure, they made sense, and he knew in theory what he was meant to be working out, but it was like his brain was full of sludge, struggling to connect the dots and work out what it was he was actually meant to be solving. Jamie shook his head, continuing to copy down the notes the teacher was making on the whiteboard, but he still wasn’t any clearer in what he was actually meant to be doing. Truth be told, his mind wasn’t really in the Physics classroom, it was a few doors down, where Claire was in the Biology lab.
Was she sitting with Tom? Was she worrying about the dance like Jamie was? Had she heard the stupid rumour that Jamie was apparently taking Laoghiare to the dance? Was Biology a hell of a lot easier than Physics? Should Jamie have chosen that instead of trying to test himself with a Science that he didn’t think that he would ever use in his real life?
Finally the bell rang, signalling the start of lunch and Jamie nearly groaned with relief. The teacher was calling something out about the upcoming assignment, but their voice was drowned out by the scraping of chairs and general chatter of the other students.
Jamie knew he had to just buck up and ask Claire to the dance. What was the worst that could happen? She could say no. He’d feel like a bit of an idiot, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Hopefully she hadn’t heard the rumour that Laoghaire had started and hadn’t said yes to someone else before Jamie could ask her.
Jamie absentmindedly picked up his bag and made his way to their usual lunch spot, near the sporting sheds and the soccer field. He would pull her aside or something, see if she wanted to go for a walk with him and then he would ask her.
Jamie dug his lunch out of his bag, but barely noticed what he was eating. Each swallow seemed difficult as he tried to get the food down around the lump of nerves that had currently wedged themselves in his throat. Then he saw her walking the field towards him. Geillis was howling with laughter at something, Louise was beaming and Claire was blushing profusely. Even at a distance, Jamie could see that. He tried to swallow his mouthful of food, but coughed and gagged at the half chewed sandwich. Jamie watched as Rupert jogged up to the group of girls, separating Geillis from the other two. Louise and Claire exchanged a look before they continued on to where Jamie was sitting.
“I think Rupert is asking Geillis to the dance,” Louise said as she sat delicately on the grass. “He said that he wanted to speak to her privately.” She glanced back at the pair, both of whom looked incredibly awkward with each other.
“I think she’ll say yes,” Claire said, studying them for a moment before meeting Jamie’s eyes briefly and then looking down quickly at her lunch. “She said that she wanted to go with him in Bio.”
“Do ye sit next to each other?” Jamie asked, his voice trembling a little bit. He hoped Claire didn’t notice.
“No,” Louise answered for her. “Claire sits with Tom, I sit with Geillis. But she was saying when we sat down. I think she was going to ask him at the end of the day if he didn’t do anything.”
Jamie nodded along, but the sandwich he had just eaten felt like a block of cement in his stomach. Claire and Tom sat next to each other. Not that that really meant anything in particular, but Jamie didn’t like it all the same. Claire also wouldn’t meet Jamie’s eyes now, so he wasn’t entirely sure how he was meant to ask her to the dance, especially with Louise so close.
“They’ll be good together. I’m glad he asked her,” Claire said quietly. Jamie tried to study her face, tried to read what she was thinking but she refused to look at him. Was that a hint? Did she want Jamie to ask her.
Jamie opened his mouth to get her attention but was interrupted by the arrival of Angus and Mary.
“Rupert just asked Geillis to the dance,” Angus announced loudly. “Pretty sure she said yes, they’ve gone for a walk together, so might have to wait a bit to kick the ball around.”
Jamie nodded carefully, not quite trusting his voice.
“We were just talking about that,” Louise continued on with the latest gossip. “She was going to ask him at the end of the day, if he didn’t ask her. Oh, and Frank asked Claire.”
Jamie looked up at Claire quickly to see her cheeks flaming red.
“Frank? Frank Randall?” Angus scoffed loudly. “When did that happen? What did ye say?”
“He asked me this morning; before homeroom,” Claire answered quietly, purposefully avoiding Jamie’s eyes.
“What did ye say?” Angus pushed, his eyes lighting up with mischievousness.
“I said no,” Claire responded haughtily, clearly uncomfortable to have the entire conversation now focused on her.
Jamie almost sighed in relief.
“I didn’t think… that was before I found out…. Never mind. I said no. I thought we are better as friends.”
Jamie was itching to know what she had found out. He needed to ask if she wanted to go for a walk with him.
“I wish I could’ha seen his face,” Angus laughed joyously. “Perfect Frank Randall having someone say no to him. Ah, it’s better than my wildest dreams.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Claire shook her head. “He’s a nice guy, just… misunderstood. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”
Claire still hadn’t looked at Jamie and he couldn’t figure out why.
“Ah,” Angus laughed again, “Could’na happened to a better lad.”
“Hush yer gob,” Jamie said under his breath. Jamie knew that Angus and Rupert didn’t like Frank Randall, but he was sure that was just because his father Mr Randall was such a twat of a teacher that they were more than a little prejudiced.
“Come on, let’s go kick the ball,” Angus said, still grinning. Jamie nodded but paused before he stood up. “Claire, can I borrow ye for a moment?”
“I’m just finishing my lunch, can it wait until after?” She replied, still not looking at him.
Christie sat next to her in Biology, what had he told her about him?
“Aye, it’s uhhh… yeah, never mind.” Shaking his head, trying to clear it, Jamie followed Angus out onto the field.
--
She had said “no” to Frank, did that mean that she was waiting for Jamie to ask her? Jamie ran after the ball after a misplaced wide kick from Angus, trying to get rid of the nagging feeling that something had happened in Biology that Jamie was unaware of. As far as he knew, no one else had asked Claire, but that didn’t mean that someone else wouldn’t. It could be Angus, or Adam McLean, Simon O’Hara, or heaven forbid, Tom Christie. There was almost a line of lads in the school that would be more than willing to take her to the dance. Jamie needed to ask her before it was too late.
Jamie booted the ball back to Angus, pleased to see that Rupert had finished his discussion with Geillis and was now running onto the field. Geillis was grinning from ear to ear as she joined the other girls. Jamie’s eyes automatically went to Claire, expecting her to be caught up in the gossip of Geillis and Rupert going to the dance together. Instead she was watching Jamie carefully. She looked away as soon as she realised that he was looking back. There was something in the way she was looking at him. He was too far away to actually see her facial expression, but it felt like it was more than just curiosity, more than just watching them kick the ball around to each other.
He needed to talk to her.
But how? How was he supposed to get her on his own? Maybe when they were walking home together, though he did ride his bike today. That wouldn’t matter, he would push it beside him, and then he would ask her. He just needed to get through the afternoon. He also needed to get to her before any other lad in the school could try.
--
The bell rang and Jamie was glad. Now that he had decided that he would ask her after school, on their walk home, he more than anything just wanted the school day to end.
They did have a double Math class together, so at least Jamie knew that he would be with her, and no one else would be able to ask her before he had a chance. Even if it was just as friends, that would be fine with him. He wasn’t totally sure if she had any feelings for him, beyond their friendship, but a lad could dream couldn’t he?
So caught up in his thoughts about asking Claire to the dance after school, he almost missed the way she packed up her bag and was walking to class without him. She’d never done that before. Sure she’d only been there a couple of weeks, and yes she knew her way around the school now, but they had class together. Why didn’t she wait for him?
Jamie quickly ran to collect his bag and catch up with their retreating figures.
“Now I just need to figure out what to wear,” Geillis said to Claire.
“Do people usually get dressed up for these kinds of things?” Claire asked curiously.
“Somewhat. Not as much as when we graduate, ye ken, but still, it’s a nice chance to show off,” Geillis answered. Jamie followed behind them, listening eagerly.
“I suppose so. I don’t think I actually have anything that I could wear to a dance. It’s not a jeans and t-shirt type of affair, is it.”
Geillis scoffed with laughter at Claire’s response. “I suppose I’ll have to take ye shopping with me. Not one of the ones in the main street. I’ll get my Ma to take us to one of the major centres. What about Saturday?”
“Oh,” Claire answered in surprise. Jamie could imagine her blushing, though he couldn’t see her face. “Shopping, yes, of course. Would your Mum mind? Do you need to ask her?”
“Nah, she ken’s it’s comin’ up, so she’ll be expectin’ it. We can ask Mary and Louise too, make a girls day of it.”
“A girl’s day,” Claire repeated. “Sure. Why not.” She giggled nervously as they arrived at the classroom.
“Have ye told Jamie yet?” Geillis asked, her voice dropping dramatically in volume. Jamie almost missed it as Simon O’Hara bumped into him.
“I don’t see why I have to,” Claire answered her question pointedly.
“Weel, Rupert seems to think that he was going to ask ye.”
“How many dates does he need?” Claire replied and Jamie could almost see her rolling her eyes. How many dates did he need? Just the one he had thought, preferably Claire. Unless… Laoghaire. The rumour had spread. Well, that was fine, right? All he needed to do was explain that he wasn’t taking Laoghaire. No harm done!
“Ye might want to check with him, Rupert seemed pretty certain,” Geillis said nervously. Whatever Claire’s response was it was lost to Jamie as the teacher arrived and everyone started to enter the classroom.
--
Thankfully the seat beside Claire was still empty. She hadn’t decided to sit next to Geillis, though Geillis did give him a pointed look as he sat down.
“I did’na get a chance to talk to you properly at lunch,” Jamie said breathlessly. “And ye left before I had a chance to catch ye up.”
“Sorry, I guess I was just caught up with Geillis,” Claire said, not even sounding remotely sorry. She didn’t look at him either, rather she sat stiffly, facing the front of the room while the other student took their seats.
“Aye, weel, I was wondering if I could talk to ye after school,” Jamie continued, aware that the voices around them were hushing and Mr Sandringham had started writing the day’s lesson outline on the whiteboard.
Claire nodded stiffly before she started to copy the same thing into her notebook.
“After school then,” Jamie mumbled as he opened his own book.
--
A double period of math had never felt both so long and like the time was flying by. Jamie could barely concentrate, all too aware of the girl sitting beside him. Every shift in her chair, every sigh from her mouth, even when she answered questions, sticking her hand up in the air, Jamie barely felt like he could breathe. It felt like he had done something grossly offensive to her, but he had no idea what. It was the first time that he had truly felt very awkward around her. When he looked up at the clock, barely ten minutes had passed. Then he planned out what he would say to her. How he would explain that he wasn’t going to the dance with Laoghaire, that he really wanted to go with her, and that it was all a big misunderstanding, and the feeling of concrete would come back to his stomach, and then he would look up at the clock and see that almost forty-five minutes had passed.
It was lucky that the maths class was easier than his physics class. He couldn’t imagine how he would be able to concentrate if Claire was in that one with him. The final ten minutes of the school day dragged by. Claire was tapping her fingers on the desk, no longer taking notes as Mr Sandringham droned on.
Eight minutes left and he could explain things to her and they could work out whatever this weird energy was between them.
Five minutes left and he had to remember to pick up his bike from the racks before he left with Claire.
Three minutes left and he hoped that Claire would actually wait for him to pick up his bike and then walk home with her.
Two minutes left and the lump of concrete made its way back to Jamie’s gut. What if she laughed in his face? What if she didn’t believe him about Laoghaire? What if she said yes?
One minute left and Claire was packing up her things. She never packed up her things before the bell. She was traditionally one of the last students to leave the room. Jamie had teased her about it on Friday and she had rolled her eyes at-
The bell rang and Claire shut her textbook with a snap.
“I have to get my bike,” Jamie said quickly, quickly closing his own books, trying to match her speed. She nodded in response and Jamie quickly rose out of his chair. He would sprint to the bike rack if he needed to. Just so long as she didn’t leave without him.
--
He was puffed and breathing heavily as he waited by the front gates for her. She was walking slowly, talking to Tom Christie. Damn it, Tom Christie. Would the two minutes that it took Jamie to get his bike be enough time for Tom to ask her to the dance? Who was he kidding, of course that would be more than enough time for Tom.
Claire was smiling at something Tom was saying and Jamie felt an unfamiliar stab of jealousy in his wame.
“See you later,” Claire waved before she looked up to see Jamie waiting for her. She was still smiling, but it seemed a little bit forced now.
“Ready?” She asked, and without waiting for a response, exited the school grounds.
--
Well- It was awkward. It was awkward walking back to Claire’s house. Jamie had it all planned out in his head but now that it was actually time to open his mouth, he felt like it had been glued shut.
“What was the news yer Uncle was so excited about yesterday?” Jamie asked finally.
“Oh,” Claire said, sounding surprised, “he uh, he’s been writing a book and he got a call back from a potential publisher. He needs to go down to Edinburgh in a few weeks to meet with them.”
“That’s amazing!” Jamie exclaimed. “I had no idea!”
“Well, he’s been working on it for a long time. I had no idea that he’d even sent anything off to anyone. So it was a bit out of the blue.”
“What’s the book about?”
--
Things seemed easier after that. Claire spoke about her Uncle and then her garden most of the way home. Jamie barely could get a word in and that suited him just fine. It was when they rounded the final corner onto her street that his palms really started to sweat.
“So,” he began, trying to take a deep breath and instead coughing slightly on his own saliva. “There’s a rumour going around that I’m takin’ Laoghaire to the dance.”
Claire made a noise of acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything further.
“Which, to be clear- I am’na taking her to the dance. I have’na asked her, I will’na ask her, and I dinna ken where she got the ridiculous notion to begin wi’,” Jamie continued, feeling himself getting angrier. “I barely even speak to the lass and she’s got all these ideas in her head. I dinna ken what to do about it.”
“Are you asking for my advice?” Claire asked quietly. She sounded shy and Jamie wondered if it was because she knew what was coming- That he was going to ask her.
“No, not so much, I’ll… I’ll ah, deal with the lass myself. But it, uh, I was wonderin’ if ye’d thought about the dance.”
“It’s hard not to think about it when it’s all anyone talks about 24/7,” Claire answered, barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes.
“Aye, people do get excited by it. What I meant was, have ye thought about going with anyone?”
“I… erm have thought about it, yes.” Claire said. Their walking had slowed down now, as if they each didn’t want to arrive at her house. As if they were both trying to prolong the moment, to give Jamie the chance to actually finally ask her out.
“Weel, I was wonderin’ it maybe, perhaps, ye would like to go to the dance wi’ me?” Jamie asked nervously. He felt like he was going to vomit. He may as well go the full hog, lay it all out on the line, put their friendship out there and properly ask her for a date. “Ye ken, as my date.”
“Oh… Jamie… I erm,” Claire stumbled over her words and Jamie felt his heart drop somewhere to his feet, or maybe he had left it a few steps back.
“It does’na have to be a date, if ye dinna want it to. We can just go as friends,” he backtracked quickly. He felt so stupid. Of course she didn’t feel that way about him. She was just being nice, as nice as she was to anyone else at school and he’s misread the entire thing. He felt like such an idiot.
“No, no, it’s not that. It’s just that… Tom said that you were taking Laoghaire and he seemed very certain of it, and then he asked me this morning in Biology and I… well, as you were taking Laoghaire… I said… I told him that I would go with him.”
Jamie felt his jaw drop open. Tom Fucking Christie. That worthless little shitbag, bod ceann of a human. Yesterday he had confirmed the rumour with Jamie wasn’t true and then turned around the next morning and jumped at the chance to ask Claire.
“No problems,” Jamie said automatically, his left fist gripped the handlebar needlessly roughly. “That’s fine. Just ah… ye’ll save me a dance then? There’s always next time.” The words were coming out of his mouth, but Jamie didn’t at all believe that he was the one that was saying it.
Claire seemed to sigh in relief as she nodded enthusiastically. “Yes of course, I’m so sorry, I should have checked with you first. But as you hadn’t asked me yet and so many people were saying that you and Laoghaire-”
“It’s just that-” Claire tried again before Jamie cut her off once more.
“Truly. I’ll ahh, I’ll see ye tomorrow then.”
“Oh, ok.” Claire nodded but Jamie didn’t see. He swung his leg over his bike. He had to get away from her. He could feel his eyes stinging and while he didn’t think that he was going to cry, (why would he cry over something so stupid) he couldn’t be sure and he sure as hell didn’t want Claire to see that.
Claire turned around to wave goodbye, as she always did when she reached her front door, but Jamie was already gone.
So in good news. I finished the first draft of the next chapter of Paper Boy. So. I will post that... when I am happy with it (3months from now) no but actually soon. I will post it.
When you go to write some more on The Paper Boy on your lunch break but then you can’t remember the class schedule that you set up for them, which is on another bit of paper, that is at your house and you’re at work, but the idea is in your head, but it might not work because are they meant to be in class together?
I hope you are still writing OL stuff, I miss your fics!
I very much am, but the struggle is painful at the moment. I think I have the next chapter of My Sassenach done but I don’t know if I’m totally happy with it.
The next chapter of Paper Boy is... just so difficult. I’m a perfectionist and I don’t like it unless it perfect and at the moment it’s a bunch of words on a page. So that ones going to take a little more time.
Thank you for reading though. And thank you for sending this! Truly. Very much. Thank you.
At first he sat stone still, his back straight, hands folded between his knees. But when she began to tell him about the search for an engagement ring — about kneading that smug, smirking bastard into distraction — he thought he might come out of his skin if he didn’t move.
Claire’s voice faltered as he climbed to his feet and began to pace.
“Keep going,” he urged hoarsely.
And she did, even as her throat closed with tears.
The intercom crackled mere seconds after he’d pressed the wee silver button next to her name.
“Hi, come on up. I left your tip on the entry table, just leave the food there, please,” her voice said through the speaker.
Jamie stood motionless as the front door unlocked with a buzz, every one of his muscles clenched tight to the bone.
Christ, he wasn’t sure he could do this.
Just that brief interaction — not even meant for him — and already he felt bile cresting in the back of his throat.
Still, he didn’t see that he had much of a choice.
Even when he’d been dying before her very eyes, Gillian Edgars had barked out orders with the cool precision of a military commander. The lass could be flippant and irreverent and downright obnoxious at times, but he’d never once seen her rattled.
She’d been rattled tonight.
He knew from personal experience that she was fiercely loyal, and would have done a great deal to help a friend in need. But to risk her nursing license, break privacy laws to go back through his chart and hunt down his home address… that was something else entirely.
So he’d listened, with his wame in a knot, as she told him of Claire’s plans.
Convinced that Frank Randall would not see the justice he deserved if he were to have his day in court, she’d set her mind to taking all the blame herself. It would mean not only a twelve-year prison sentence, but the end of her nursing career; with a felony charge on her record, Claire would never be able to work in health care again.
Apparently, Gillian had tried everything she could think of to make her see reason, but the stubborn wee Sassenach would have none of it.
“The lass would throw her whole life away to try to make this up to you,” she’d told him accusingly, her eyes raw and gleaming. “If ye let her.”
