🏞 🐶 👣
By: babyfoxcollectionthings
Location: Unknown
Date: April 21, 2020
The Bowery Presents
h
untitled

titsay
Color Me Curious
Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
Doug Jones
No title available
$LAYYYTER
The Bright Sessions

oozey mess
Fai_Ryy
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Love Begins
sheepfilms

ellievsbear
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil

seen from Australia
seen from Venezuela
seen from Türkiye

seen from Philippines
seen from United States

seen from Italy
seen from Türkiye

seen from Iraq
seen from Pakistan
seen from Singapore
seen from Brazil
seen from Kazakhstan

seen from United States
seen from Singapore

seen from Netherlands
seen from Brazil
seen from Spain
seen from India
@itsbeenfiveminutes
🏞 🐶 👣
By: babyfoxcollectionthings
Location: Unknown
Date: April 21, 2020
what's your problem?
my problem is me
Colours of Morocco
« Coronavirus is a planetary event of a magnitude we have trouble wrapping our minds around, not only because of its global scale, or the speed at which it unfolded, but also because the institutions whose power we used to take for granted have been brought to their knees in a matter of weeks.
The mediaeval universe of devastating plagues has burst into our clean, modern world of nuclear power, laser surgery and virtual technology. Even in wartime, movie theatres and underground bars continued to exist; yet we are now seeing Europe’s most bustling capitals become sinister ghost towns, with locals forced to hole up in their homes. As Albert Camus wrote in The Plague, “All these changes were, in a way, so extraordinary, and took place so rapidly, that it wasn’t easy to envision them as normal and lasting.”
From air travel to museums, the beating heart of our civilisation suddenly had to stop. […] Overnight, the world has become unheimlich, eerily strange, devoid of familiarity. All comforting actions—holding hands, kissing, hugging, getting together for a meal—have become a source of danger and anxiety. In a matter of days, new concepts have mushroomed to make sense of a new reality: we all became experts in the various existing masks and their filtering efficiency (N95, FFP2, FFP3, etc.); we now know how much hydroalcoholic lotion is necessary to clean our hands properly; we know the difference between “suppression” and “mitigation”, and of course we have become familiar with the strange rules and rituals of social distancing. In a few days, a new normal was introduced, with new objects, new concepts, and new rules. […]
The modern social contract is implicitly based on governments’ capacity to ensure the health and safety of their citizens. The current crisis sheds light on two facts: one, that this contract, in many parts of the world, has been gradually broken by governments who switched ambitions by becoming economic actors entirely focused on reducing labour costs, deregulating the financial sector, and meeting the needs of big corporations. The result has been a tremendous erosion of public service. The second fact, now obvious to us all, is that only the state can manage and help us survive so great a crisis. […] The neoliberal imposture has been exposed, and must be loudly denounced.
We are facing an unprecedented dilemma: sacrifice the lives of many elderly and vulnerable persons, or sacrifice the livelihood of younger cohorts. It is rather ironic that the world of finance, so arrogant and often impenetrable, collapsed immediately. It proved that all financial transactions rely on one resource that we all used to take for granted: the health of citizens. Stock markets feed on confidence as a currency to build the future, and we are discovering that a large part of our confidence relied on the assumption of collective health. Modern states have developed means to ensure the health of their citizens: they have built hospitals, trained doctors, funded medical research and created welfare systems. This infrastructure of health was the invisible basis of our confidence in the future, which in turn made financial investments and speculation possible. […]
In the past few decades, politicians, financial markets, and corporations have banded together to promote policies that drastically reduced all public budgets, from education to health care, thus strangely ignoring how much the same corporations benefit, without spending a penny, from these public services. All these resources are allocated by governments and are the sine qua non conditions for any economic activity to take place. Yet, in France, 100,000 hospital beds were eliminated in the past twenty years. In June 2019, ICU doctors and nurses protested against budget cuts that were pushing the French welfare system—formerly, a global reference—to the brink of collapse. […]
Capitalism as we knew it must change. This pandemic will cause immeasurable economic damages, mass unemployment, negative growth—and it will affect the entire world […]. Banks, corporations, and financial firms will need to help the world’s governments carry the load […]. They will need to help shoulder the burden of economic reconstruction even if they stand to make little profit from it. Capitalists have taken for granted the resources provided by the state—education, health, infrastructures—without realising that draining each of these resources would eventually deprive them of the kind of society that makes economy possible. This needs to stop. Economy needs society to exist. This society must be built collectively, thanks to the contribution of the private sector to the public good. Only the state can manage so great a crisis, but it will not be strong enough, on its own, to get us through it: corporations must contribute to the preservation of the public services from which they profited for so long, […] if they want the economy to remain a conceivable framework for human activities. »
— Sociologist Eva Illouz, translated from Le Nouvel Observateur, March 23rd 2020
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is wild. Someone will be like "hey just so you know the thing you did was a little bit loud/uncomfortable/insensitive but it's ok I know you didn't mean it" and my brain will instantly translate "you should be shot"
The fun other side of this too is when you are afraid of making other people feel that way so you just let shit go 90% of the time even when it's reasonable and valid to make a comment/critique/etc
Ask Culture and Guess Culture
“One of my wife’s distant friends has attempted to invite herself to stay with us, again,” writes the exasperated owner of a prime 2 bedroom apartment in New York City in this Ask MetaFilter question. “She did this last March, and we used the excuse of me starting a new job and needing to do x, y, and z as well as the “out of town” excuse for any remaining dates. This got us off scot-free, but we both knew the time would come again… and it’s here. We need a final solution.”
He goes on to list two different possibilities he can think of for getting this woman to stop asking for free room and board. The first is a little white lie, something about their keys being hard to duplicate. The other is to be vague, to say something like “Sorry, that isn’t going to work for us” and hope she doesn’t ask why.
The first few answers give this poster very direct advice: Just say no. No need to give an explanation, it’s her who’s being rude by asking. Others give him advice that was probably more like what he was expecting: other ways to be vague like claiming that it’s “One of those random `Life in NYC things.’”
Another thread of discussion popped up around whether or not the woman asking for a place to stay was being rude. Some posters couldn’t understand how simply asking to stay in someone’s apartment was rude, while another went as far to say that putting someone in the position “having to be rude and say no” was rude in and of itself.
It is into this context that user tangerine contributes this answer:
This is a classic case of Ask Culture meets Guess Culture.
In some families, you grow up with the expectation that it’s OK to ask for anything at all, but you gotta realize you might get no for an answer. This is Ask Culture.
In Guess Culture, you avoid putting a request into words unless you’re pretty sure the answer will be yes. Guess Culture depends on a tight net of shared expectations. A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won’t even have to make the request directly; you’ll get an offer. Even then, the offer may be genuine or pro forma; it takes yet more skill and delicacy to discern whether you should accept.
All kinds of problems spring up around the edges. If you’re a Guess Culture person — and you obviously are — then unwelcome requests from Ask Culture people seem presumptuous and out of line, and you’re likely to feel angry, uncomfortable, and manipulated.
If you’re an Ask Culture person, Guess Culture behavior can seem incomprehensible, inconsistent, and rife with passive aggression.
Obviously she’s an Ask and you’re a Guess. (I’m a Guess too. Let me tell you, it’s great for, say, reading nuanced and subtle novels; not so great for, say, dating and getting raises.)
Thing is, Guess behaviors only work among a subset of other Guess people — ones who share a fairly specific set of expectations and signalling techniques. The farther you get from your own family and friends and subculture, the more you’ll have to embrace Ask behavior. Otherwise you’ll spend your life in a cloud of mild outrage at (pace Moomin fans) the Cluelessness of Everyone.
As you read through the responses to this question, you can easily see who the Guess and the Ask commenters are. It’s an interesting exercise. (#)
After this comment many users, including the original poster himself, began to use these terms in discussing the issue. And why wouldn’t they? Ask Culture and Guess Culture describe two valid yet opposing ways of interacting with the world with very little value judgment given to them. Framing the argument as such was a stroke of utter genius by tangerine, broadening the perspective of many who participated in the discussion and adding to the general lifebuzz.
(via nomi–sunrider, mefitours-blog-blog)
This is fascinating. My mom was, I think, a variety of Guess culture. She disliked telling her kids no to reasonable requests. We learned to make flat/information statements like “I’m going to need a ride after school on Friday,” and if she responded with another flat stament like “I have to work until 5 on Friday,” then we knew we had to problem solve an alternative. My parents divorced when I was 12. One summer spent with my dad when I was 16, he blew up at me. “Why don’t you just ASK for a ride?!” It was only when explaining mom’s preference that I realized I’d been trained not to make my mom say no. So I learned dad’s way too. This is the 1st time I’ve actually had NAMES for this issue.
Thoughts:
-I wonder how many failed relationships and divorces have mixed ask/guess culture as a component?
-I wonder how many other like me there are-trained in both cultures due to a mixed marriage-and what this does to our own relationships.
-why is this not a widely known thing? Good god it seems a HUGE facet of effective communication and I’m only just hearing about it at 51 years old? Is there a book about this somewhere? Dammit…
-I’m going to be re-examining every personal and work relationship I have (and have had) in light of this revelation.
@aka-killgrave @captainbill-cl
This is incredible and I can’t believe I’ve never heard it put this way before and I’m 54. My family is definitely of the Guess variety because this really explains the crazy lack of communication. My mother is an extreme Guesser and actually gets angry when you can’t just guess what she wants. She is 84 and I chaulked it up to being raised in the 40’s and 50’s when women didn’t ask for what they wanted. She didn’t do this as much when we were little but as we got into teenage years and she had to deal with us as young adults she apparently didn’t want to ask, but got irritated when we couldn’t guess.
When I was a teenager visiting family, apparently my aunt got tired of having to ask me and my sisters what we wanted all the time and asked us to speak up and said ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get.’ At the time I thought this was partly a lesson in gaining self confidence but at the same time I realized if I just ask and not expect everyone to guess, I can get more of what I need out of life with less stress.
Fast forward to now. My mother is still an extreme Guesser and three of my sister’s are Guesser’s and just make up reasons in their head instead of asking what’s going on. My other sister and I have learned to ask so they think we are rude for asking and we think they are rude for making shit up instead of asking. Wow. I can’t believe there’s a term for this. If this was taught as basic communication skills I think a lot more people would be able to get along. I definitely have to look into this more.
I read a fascinating essay written by a Guess woman married to an Ask man and how that affected their sex life, and how they compromised.
My mother is an asker and my dad is a guesser and sometimes I have to butt in and translate what each other is trying to say XD I didn’t even know there was a word for it!!
I learned to give people permission to say no to me. A lot of people, more than I ever expected, have trouble saying no, especially when, like in the original post, it’s because they just don’t want to, not because they have a reason. (As if not wanting to isn’t a valid reason… but I digress.) So, I tend to ask for things, particularly big or onerous things, like this:
“Okay, I need to ask you something but, first of all, please feel free to say no. You don’t need to give me a reason and I won’t be angry or upset.”
Then I ask for what I want.
And if they say no, I don’t ask why, I don’t get passive aggressive and I don’t get angry or upset. I don’t dwell on it. They’ve said no and that’s final. I thank them, then I move the conversation on.
Two of the most valuable things you can learn is how to say no and how to accept no.
Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.
Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.
(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)
Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.
All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.
I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.
Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.
And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.
Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.
I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.
Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.
No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.
They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.
This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.
In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.
At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.
I think the least we can do is remember them for it.
I can’t begin to describe how happy and flattered and a little teary I am that this just broke 100k.
I may be the actual only human being on Tumblr with a post this popular that I not only don’t regret making, but am actually HAPPY whenever I notice a surge in its circulation.
I never intended this to gain any traction at all (you’ll notice there’s no sources or anything–this was a personal ramble, prompted in good humor by a friend after I jokingly said that I wished someone would give me an excuse to cry about Carpathia on Tumblr so I could get it out of my system.) I literally expected to get, like, maybe 20 likes and a reblog, from friends, indulging me in my nonsense.
It just….means a lot to me that it’s touched so many people. I see a lot of tags to the effect of “HOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS AND MAKE ME CRY ABOUT A BOAT” that are often really funny, but overwhelmingly the tags on this post are from people saving it for a rainy day, or remarking in a sort of quiet awe that they never even really thought about her role in the story–and God knows I never did, I learned it by complete accident much as most of the people who’ve found this post.
And so many of you guys are taking strength and reassurance from the reminder not only that people are capable of amazing things together, but simply that kindness matters and that a simple, tiny act of compassion is never wasted. I’m just really glad to have been able to do that for some folks.
If I can just add one personal note. I need to emphasize something I only touched on in the original post.
I need to emphasize that Carpathia failed.
A lot of the tags and comments have a tinge of…despair, or guilt, or wistfulness about things like this happening so rarely. Or inadequacy, or just being overwhelmed or unhappy about not being in a position to step up in a comparable way. And I want to gently bring up the fact that this is still the sinking of the Titanic.
They did not get there in time. They did not save the ship. It can be argued that they may not even have saved a single life; we have no way of knowing. This was still a horrific maritime disaster mired in arrogance and incompetence and a lack of care.
If the response to this story shows anything, it shows this: It matters that they tried.
Even though they got there too late, even though the ship still sank. It matters that they tried. The difference between making the best reasonable speed after confirming the seriousness of the situation, and the miracle they pulled off–it matters. It makes all the difference. Even if it made no difference at all. Not one of you read this and concluded that I was stupid for caring so much when the Titanic still sank and all those people still died.
You don’t have to fix the world. You’ll likely be cold and sick and miserable and testy and scared, and unprepared, and in over your head, and entirely too small to be of any real use. It feels stupid, passing out blankets and coffee in the middle of an ice field knowing what just happened. It’s hard to feel anything but useless when all you can do is tap a wireless transmitter and promise help that you know will come too late.
It matters that they fought for those people. It matters that they cared, and it matters that they tried. It matters that they didn’t stop. If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have read this far.
Chris Evans as Golden Retrievers
Men not being allowed to be emotional & rampant homophobia are the reasons men commit suicide 3.5x more than women… most men are given no outlet to feel feelings. To the point that they kill themselves.
This is a strong man who has been pushed to his limit. There is no shame in this man weeping, just as there is no shame in getting comfort from his brother. This does not make him any less manly or any weaker. The strength in this video clip is stunningly, perfectly manly to me. @warriormale could you please chime in?
Showing emotions i.e. crying shows that you’re human.
All humans cry.
I’ve seen very tough fighters cry.
Crying makes Men human.
WarriorMale
For context: NY Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham, the player that is crying, was brought to tears after seeing a teammate, linebacker Johnathon Casillas, sustain a pretty scary neck injury.
The player consoling him is the Giants Punter, Brad Wing. The two are close friends and were teammates both in college at LSU and then professionally on the Giants.
Odell is one of the best wide receivers in the league right now, potentially of all time, and a bunch of toxic men that did nothing with their lives won’t even let him have human emotion. Imagine what they do to each other.
They only talk about mental health when someone finally dies. Let people express their emotions.
This is important.💋
I got to explore Nashville with my favorite guy! (at Nashville, Tennessee)
I wish it was real, flower filled spring outside. But for now, pictures from the Botanical Gardens will have to do! (at Cleveland Botanical Garden)
The economic realities of Baby boomers versus Millennials
that comment has had me thinking for days… like im reblogging this shit a week later from my likes cus its the PERFECT analogy
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(Source)
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
Seriously thank you.
Please reblog. I love every single one of you. You’re not alone.
Favorite Darvey moments from each season of Suits: 1 × 1 «Pilot»
High School Fashion, 1969
What a trip.
Wow these photos are stunning
Some of these outfits are the raddest things I’ve ever seen.
Can we talk about the tights.
The existence of photos like these (and similar photos from the 70s and 80s and so on) makes me wonder yet again why current-day movies set in this time never seem to be able to get the hair and clothing right.