Behold!

Something wicked this way comes || Hogwarts AU || Ch 4 - The First Class

itsevilgirl

She deftly caught the bat tooth her partner slid across the table and dropped it in the mortar; her fingers curled around a pestle and Mel started to grind the tooth, slowly and lazily; it was a rather dull task. “Gosh, could this be any more boring?” the teenager complained to Melinda, who was working on the Volubis root.

But this was the Slytherin bunch and things rarely remained boring for too long. Soon enough Heinz sprung to his feet behind the girls and shouted, quite literally shouted out for Melinda to stop. Mel froze, keeping the pestle immobile inches above the mortar—- of course Heinz was probably referring to the other Melinda (since Mel was usually called by her nickname, ‘Mel’), but the scream was so sudden that she reacted to it anyway. Sometimes it was problematic to hang with your alternate self from another dimension.

Heinz didn’t offer any explanation to the outburst, though. He simply sat back down as if it never even happened; the only evidence of his screams was the embarrassed blush coloring his cheeks. It was impossible for Mel to ask for an explanation right away, what with the entire class watching the boy; and besides, Heinz seemed to be in a heated argument with Doof now, though she couldn’t make out what they were saying. The Slytherin girl waited, refraining from glancing back at the boys’ table too often; after all Snape’s wandering gaze was still constantly stopping on them. She worked on crushing the bat tooth a bit more forcefully now, impatient to get it done, since her previous lazy strokes were getting her nowhere. When the professor’s attention was finally elsewhere she quickly turned around and whispered at Heinz: “What just happened?” A delicate eyebrow rose to demonstrate her suspicion. Something was up.

#THANK YOU MEL!#these are perfect I love them!#and you're the best!#[saveforlaterinator]#[icons]#[my face]

He didn't have to wait long for people to stop staring and the professor to go about his business, but to the seventeen year old wizard it felt like a lifetime. When it finally happened- his plan came to fruition and Mel (Mel, the one girl he wanted to impress!) turned around to talk to him, well, that's when his self-doubt kicked in. Because he had just watched her hand freeze in place because of something he had said. What had seemed like a brilliant plan five minutes ago now looked more like a terrifying prospect. He shouldn't have yelled like that; what if the girls took it the wrong way? Heinz swallowed hard and tugged on his Slytherin tie, averting his gaze from Mel's.

"I-I was just ... eeehehe, I only meant to tell you that, uh ... " He glanced sideways at Doof, and maybe it was only his imagination but the other boy seemed to be encouraging him. Heinz took a deep breath; he was being ridiculous! This was Mel here and she was one of his best friends ... and she was a pretty level-headed girl. He knew she'd never be mad if he gave her advice on her potion even though he had yelled out like that. His earlier confidence came back: Potions were his thing and it was his time to help her, impress her. He finally looked right at her with a sly grin and whispered under his breath so Snape wouldn't overhear him: "Your Potion! Tell Melinda she has to cut the root in equal sized pieces and I, uhm, I think she didn't!" He bobbed his head in a confident nod and winked: "Trust me, it'll make a big difference when the ingredients all react with one another!" He knew what he was talking about.

#something wicked

itsevilgirl

♕ Icons made by me as a gift to itsevildoof .

Below the cut are 130 (100x100) icons of Heinz Doofenshmirtz, all of them from the episode Chez Platypus.

♕ Please do not take without itsevildoof's permission, as I made these icons for him!

*hugs tightly* You have been hugged by the Hug Anon! Spread the love by sending it to 10 other people you think really needs a hug right now on Anon!

Heinz blinked and tensed slightly, surprised by the random hug from an unknown person. “Erm … what … what’s going on here?!”

But the Anon’s words put him at ease- it wasn’t a mean joke or an attack, the grey ball in sunglasses only meant to cheer him up. Heinz relaxed and smiled. It wasn’t everyday that people remembered him so the scientist was flattered and even a little touched by the gesture.

"Oh, eeheheh, thanks Hug Anon, that, that was really sweet of you!"

He patted the Anon on the head in a friendly manner, as a ‘thank you for thinking of me’ kind of way. But he was far too busy building inators (and was too evil!) to send hugs to other people.

#Anon #ask answered #Hug Anon #//he's being a brat and not passing the hugs along BUT HE REALLY APPRECIATES THEM OKAY #Heinz is flattered.

Something wicked this way comes || Hogwarts AU || Ch 4 - The First Class

"Oh for badness sake!" Doofenshmirtz snarled at his partner, keeping a low voice. "You almost ruined our potion because you wanted to ‘out-advice’ me?” His tone openly mocked the term and the very notion. At least Heinz had the good sense to appear embarrassed by his idiocy. “That’s really stupid, Heinz,” he hissed, “you’re lucky I was watching your work.”

To make the insanity of this Potions Class worse, Heinz apparently held on to his plan to ‘help’ the girls and it seemed he saw something Doof didn’t because he jumped up and shouted at Melinda at the top of his lungs. Doof glared and rubbed a spot between his eyebrows to soothe his temper. “Stop it, you fool!”

Heinz sat back down quickly, what with all the eyes in the room on them. Doofenshmirtz waited until everyone got back to their cauldrons, leaned in and whispered: “This crush of yours on Mel is getting out of con~trol! You’ve had six yeeears to impress her, what makes you think giving a few potions tips will do the trick?” He rolled his one eye. “You better ask her out now before you blow up the whole school trying to get with her.” Despite how annoyed he was he still had a teasing smirk to share with his friend.

Being scolded by Doof only embarrassed him further, making his cheeks redden even more. "I said I'm sorry!" he complained hastily. Heinz buried his face in the Potions textbook, pretending to check something just to avoid making eye contact with his partner.

That is, until Doof brought up his crush on Mel. Loudly. Heinz looked up from the pages, bewildered, and waved both hands in front of Doof's face. "Shhhh! Are you nuts?!? They'll hear you!" He sneaked a desperate glance at the girls and breathed a sigh of relief since it looked like they hadn't heard a thing. "I know a tip about potions is not much," he whispered with a sad pout, "but at least it helps her do better, and, and that makes her happy, right?! That's something, at least."

He smiled a little but quickly shook his head at Doof's suggestion to ask Mel out. "I can't!!," his voice cracked nervously, "She'd never go out with me and it would make everything awkward and ruin our friendship, you know that!" He'd been saying that for years now but Doof never seemed convinced. Of course not. Brazen, confident Doofenshmirtz didn't know the first thing about inadequacy and insecurity; Doof could have any girl he wanted. Heinz only ever wanted that one beautiful redheaded girl but never believed he was good (not in the moral sense, of course. He was evil!) enough for her. "I appreciate the vote of confidence but I'd rather save my friendship with her than ask her out and have nothing," he said quite firmly and glanced at the girls' table again; they must be wondering why he had screamed at Melinda all but five minutes ago.

#something wicked

"No prooomises."

He’ll really try but sometimes the temptation to terrorize his evil friends is far too great.

#altrulerdoof #suddenly crack?#ended

" ... "

Heinz is just so done with this.

Something wicked this way comes || Hogwarts AU || Ch 4 - The First Class

Well, of course the boys had achieved the correct tint, they were naturals at this. Good for Heinz! But as far as she was concerned Doof could drown in his hot pink liquid. At least the girls found immense amusement in their own failure and Melinda was nearly out of breath from laughing so hard when she felt someone nearing them. Her head snapped up when her arch-enemy came around, leaning over their desk and laughing at their potion. “Shut up!” she jeered and jerked away from him, because he wasn’t allowed to comment on their work. “We didn’t ask for your bloody help, go back to your seat!” she claimed, not in the cold, detached manner Mel took, but in a flustered mess like a cornered animal. It was the physical proximity between herself and the boy, it frightened her to the point of jumbled thoughts. Mel was absolutely right, though: Melinda was about to refuse the tip just because it came from Doof. (but she didn’t think it was ‘just because’ … that boy had used the Cruciatus Curse on her! That was a big deal!)

Unfortunately for her Mel was quicker, and was already stirring some more before Melinda could protest. She glared daggers at Doof and crossed her arms in silent fury. Why didn’t the tip come from Heinz instead, or anyone else in the class? I hope it blows up, she thought bitterly; sometimes superiority over Doof was more important than Slytherin winning points. But of course now the damned potion came out the precise shade they needed. Ugh. Mel looked pretty satisfied but Melinda wasn’t sharing in her spirits. “I’ll get the rest of the stuff,” she muttered, simply wanting to get away from Doofenshmirtz. The witch took her time selecting the root and the tooth and only returned to her seat after Heinz’s almost-incident with the knife, and by then she had reassembled her thoughts and was collected once more. She grinned widely and told him, “keep a better grip on that thing,” then sat down next to Mel.

She tossed the bat tooth to her partner and started to chop her root into small pieces … but not pieces of equal sizes. Snape hadn’t said anything about equal sizes and she’d neglected to read the textbook. It could be a recipe for disaster.

He thoroughly ignored the cold tone Mel temporarily took with him and continued to tease. “If there’s nothing wrooong with the spleen then carry on,” he grinned, then merely smirked as she defended her notes and her work.The smirk widened, naturally, as Melinda seemed flustered and bothered by his presence. Mel was considering his advice while Melinda was adamant they didn’t need help and Doofenshmirtz didn’t bother arguing his point, even though he was practically certain his idea would work to the girls’ benefit.

While he handed his ingredients to Heinz Mel decided to take his advice. He returned to the girls’ desk and leaned against it, watching over their shoulders and peering into their cauldron just to be sure he had been right… not that there was much doubt. Lo and behold, the potion changed from the pale pink to the hot pink it was supposed to be and Doof assumed an air of incredible superiority. “Ah! What would you do withooout me?” he asked with playful arrogance in response to Mel’s wink of gratitude and finally returned to his seat just as Melinda seemed to be fleeing the scene. There was a brief flicker of amusement crossing his features when he realized her odd behavior was thanks to him.

As he returned to his own seat it seemed Heinz’s mood had soured considerably. “Did that tooth offend you in any way?” he asked with a taunting smile but other than that he paid no mind to the theatrics, after all Heinz was known for his flair for the dramatic. His eye remained carefully trained on his Potions partner’s hand because Doof was incapable of trusting someone else so he had to supervise Heinz’s work all the time.

The boy rolled his eye when Heinz almost slammed the blade against his own finger and threw a few glares to silence the Gryffindors; he was used to the other’s clumsiness although it tried his patience. But when Heinz started to stir the potion whilst looking somewhere else the remainders of that patience evaporated. “What’s the matter with you?!” he hissed, “Stop,” he yanked the stirrer from Heinz’s hand, “that’s cycle 20 already, you nearly went over the count!” The young wizard sneered at his partner, exasperated. “You’re acting weird and constantly looking over at the girls’ desk! What gives?!” Far too concerned with his own potion to notice anyone else’s, he failed to see Melinda was chopping her root the wrong way.

"What?" His head snapped up to glare at his potions partner when the other boy returned to their table. "No, the tooth didn't do anything to me," he mumbled angrily under his breath. Relax Heinz, Doof didn't do it on purpose. After his accident with the knife Melinda walked by and told him to get a better grip on the handle. "Errrm, heheh, thanks, I just got distracted ... " he raised the knife up in the air to show her he was holding it properly now.

While stirring, he kept waiting for the girls to mess up so he could sweep in and save Mel's day ... and of course he lost count of his own potion. Heinz jolted back into focus when he felt the stirrer being forcibly pulled out of his hand. "Hey! What," he began to complain, irritated, but no sound came out of his mouth after Doof explained he was already on cycle 20. Dang it, Heinz, you almost went over and ruined everything!! he thought, angry at himself and gaping at the cauldron. "I-I didn't see ... sorry," he stammered, ashamed of his amateur mistake. Doof was hissing at him and demanding an explanation; Heinz sighed and complied with a whisper: "I was upset you saved the girls' potion and I didn't, okay? I-I really wanted to do something nice for Mel ... s-so I came up with a plan to out-advice you if they mess up again ... " He trailed off, gaze traveling to the girls one more time ...

... and that's when he noticed it. The perfect opportunity: Melinda wasn't chopping the root in equal sized pieces. Heinz sprung into action (now was his chance!), leapt to his feet and extended an arm towards the witch: "MELINDA, NO!!!" There, that ought to stop her. Everybody, including Professor Snape, was looking at him now. Heinz shrank back into his seat, smiling sheepishly and mumbling apologies. He couldn't let the professor know he was tipping off other students. So now while his cauldron soaked for 15 minutes he'd just sit there, waiting for Melinda (or hopefully Mel) to ask what was wrong.

#something wicked

"HAHAHA! I’m laughing, you see? And you—-

—- you should’ve known I wouldn’t rea~lly toss you in the open seeea.”

Of course it was funny, it was hilarious.

He groaned. "… Just … just don’t ever do that again, okay?!?"

#altrulerdoof

"If I smiled more like you suggested people would mistake me for an easygoing happy fool, you dummkopf! I have an image to uphold. Smirks are much more becoming," he smirked widely, almost to prove a point.

" … Erm, right. But I-I still think it could work out! If you wanted to. Which I’m getting the sense that you, erm … don’t.”

He paused. “The smirk is pretty great though. Powerful stuff, other me, powerful stuff. … Do you actually know how to smile or can you just do the maniacal stuff?” What, it was a serious question!

Emperor Doofenshmirtz liked being the center of attention, that much was clear by the way he decorated his kingdom solely with his own face. So now he basked in what he felt was an almost adoring attention coming from his ‘pupil’. It thrilled him that his perfectly thought-out manipulation was working and Heinz was so completely motivated by pure evil.

"A-HA!" he cried out, grinning. "There, you, you just laughed maniacally properly! About time!"

Like a true professor Doof didn’t hesitate to take credit for his student’s success. In his head it was his mind games that pulled the evil potential from inside of Heinz.

His grin disappeared and was replaced by an unamused thin line when Heinz questioned his next teachings. “If they told you you ‘suck’ transform that into motivation,” he said dryly, “or better yet, ignore it. What do they know? Nothing, their words should mean nothing to you.” The smirk came back to his lips when he answered the next question: “Preteeend by showing them you’re someone to fear!”