The Trans Saga

My name is Hamish James. Ask me about stuff. 💉t shot Oct. 2nd 2015💉

[fr33tobm3-deactivated20160118]

The continually inspiring magic of HRT. Live your truth!

[flamingofairy-blog]

This makes me so fucking happy

[lorileadfoot-deactivated2020072]

Bless em!! Major support for brave trans sisters.

[adrift-inthe-reverie-deactivate]

THEYRE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

[submissivefeminist]

Trans girls are magic, pass it on.

[itsjameshamishjames]

February 20-22

So my uni does this thing where they high light cool students and I was picked so they wrote this whole blog post about me and all the stuff I do here on campus. But then director of the office my club is run in emails me and pretty much says that I didn’t talk about his office enough and how disappointed he was of me. and that ruined my day because here I am already feeling shitty and then this awesome article gets posted and my whole family reads it and they’re all proud but then this guy just rains on it highlighting the one thing i didn’t do right. 

I’ve been pretty dysphoric as of late? not so much of “What if im not trans?” because i am but I haven’t been feeling Boy TM and I don’t think I’m non binary/I don’t want to be but I think it’s just because i’m a month away from top surgery

I went to the doctor for us to try and start my letter to the insurance company for them to get my top surgery covered and it went really well but on the drive there my mom brought up that if they say it’ll covered if we push back the surgery that we should do that and the answer is “yeah no shit, I don’t have $6,000 just wait a bit longer” but i don’t think i can fucking take another day let alone months of wearing my binder and if i push it back to the summer then I can’t work right away for my summer job and this is the only time it works

I hate being this fucking poor and yes I know getting my degree is important so that i’m not poor later in life but right now i am beyond poor

[itsjameshamishjames]

Thanks darling 💕

[mmtrash]

[itsjameshamishjames]

Since Biscuit was here again have another rest picture of my great boys.

[itsjameshamishjames]

Oh hey Biscuit. How was your day? Good, glad to hear. I've been busy but that's life when you're an actual adult. And if you noticed I haven't been using his name in a while, but you have so this is awkward. And the idea that we weren't officially is news to me but I'm not putting lies above anyone in that group now so, oh well. And yes his current gf, not that if you asked him or anyone, they wouldn't tell you that because who's going to straight up say "yes I cheated. Thank you for asking." So I don't really consider him, or anyone on that part of my life a friend but hey Biscuit you really Sherlock'd the shit outta this case. 8/10

[itsjameshamishjames]

Aw thank you. That's really sweet of you. Thanks for realizing I am a human being with thoughts feelings and emotions. But honestly thanks

[itsjameshamishjames]

I'm gonna just give you the name of Biscuit, idk when I picture you I just See Biscuit. So Biscuit since you pretty much just confirmed that you aren't on My Side™ I will continue thinking nothing of these messages. However I will answer the following question. So yes, the people around me made me think that it was a relationship. The people around me including his twin, his friends, his friend's girlfriends, and most of all him. To cite my sources, I was at a party with all of his friends and his best friend's girlfriend (who's name starts with an M) pulled me aside and said that me (as in a boy) being there with Twin was a left turn but that I was good for him. So yes I agree with you Biscuit, the people around me told me it was a relationship including him. I can assume that you know where to find me on Facebook. So if you would like please message me privately so we can talk further. And yes I am indeed "kinda sad" (See Biscuit's last anon) but my therapist just calls it depression. But you know what else is "kinda sad" Biscuit? Cheating on your boyfriend 🌺James 🌺

[itsjameshamishjames]

I am very aware of this, Stranger I can only assume is someone I've never met in real life and who had never talked to me. But dean and I were talking for around a year and then dated for a couple of months and in this time we met each other's parents and I was told multiple times that I was the most important person in his life. It was the only serious relationship I was in where my partner respected me as a human let alone as a trans guy and then when he left me for a girl out of the blue I fell into a depression. And then I had no time to heal or get over it because we then had to work together because I got him his job which was my job and now we both got promoted so I can't even avoid him now. So my depression is back and I am seeing a therapist about that and the only way I can think about dealing with this whole situation without putting my job on the line is to put it on my personal blog. But thanks for asking. 😘

[samriegel]

Oh Tony

Oh Steve

[rogers-and-stark]

Awww… ♥

[callmekitto-deactivated20220425]

okay that’s cute as shit ngl

[itsjameshamishjames]

February 12-15,2017

I slowly started to feel my depression come back and I hate it. I feel like I’m snapping at my friends and not eating right. I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day (I never have, like once I hit 6th grade I was over it tbh) but my grandmother made me feel even more alone then I already felt because it’s her anniversary and she said she doesn’t want me to be alone but like that just made things worse. I got some, of what I thought was, HOT TEA , until I went home and told my best friends/housemates and then realized Twin cheated on me as I was said the tea out loud. I haven’t been happy in a while, and I think it’s because I’ve never felt THIS poor in a while but like there’s nothing I can do about that rn and this whole Twin thing isn’t helping.

[itsjameshamishjames]

ALSO

there's nothing I can do/DEAR GOD IF YOU KNOW TWIN don't SAY ANYTHING/ because we work together and the season hasn't even started yet.

[itsjameshamishjames]

February 12-15,2017

I slowly started to feel my depression come back and I hate it. I feel like I'm snapping at my friends and not eating right. I don't believe in Valentine's Day (I never have, like once I hit 6th grade I was over it tbh) but my grandmother made me feel even more alone then I already felt because it's her anniversary and she said she doesn't want me to be alone but like that just made things worse. I got some, of what I thought was, HOT TEA , until I went home and told my best friends/housemates and then realized Twin cheated on me as I was said the tea out loud. I haven't been happy in a while, and I think it's because I've never felt THIS poor in a while but like there's nothing I can do about that rn and this whole Twin thing isn't helping.

[itsjameshamishjames]

January 2017

I'm the worst and I apologize I went to a party with friends that I'm actually not close to at all mostly because I knew them all through Twin and I didn't want to go until Twin's twin's ex girlfriend who is my actual friend (we'll call her BB) told me that Twin's GF (the one he left me for) thought that I was scared of her and fuck off? So I went and it was the worst, not only did I not drink because I've been getting nose bleeds and I want to be in full control but Twin and GF were sitting as close to us as they could and practically making out the entire time and Twin was super fucking drunk and I never realized how much of a d bag he was until I took this step back this sober. BB and I left to go drink somewhere else.

[proudnb]

It’s not your fault for getting misgendered or invalidated, it’s their fault for being ignorant or cruel.

You did nothing wrong, and you deserve much better treatment.

[itsjameshamishjames]

January 15,2017

Okay so retail sucks ass no matter what but I was feeling good, my outfit was cool and I was working with a bunch of cool guys. A woman misgendered me and it really really threw me off. I thought I passed or whatever, and I don't think I'm dysphoric but I'm somewhere in that realm where I haven't felt like a boy in a while and it might just be because I've been alone for awhile (like my house has been empty for almost 2 weeks) So I brought Beebo over thinking it would help me but our whole relationship is just me helping him, which is fine, but not when I need to be helped. His parents don't like me, they started tracking his phone since him and I went on ours at date or whatever the hell you wanna call it and I feel bad because I feel like he's getting a lot of shit for seeing me and I'm not sure if I want keep seeing him

[itsjameshamishjames]

January 11,2017

I went to the eye doctor and my insurance card has my dead name but the same info so I gave it to her and explained but instead of her just taking it she started to question it. But then she went onto say how she recently came out to her mom, mind you this is a 35+ yo woman, and her girl friend just moved in and her mom doesn't approve but her sons love her and it was really sweet. Dakota and I had and I had another late night conversation in my car and I forget what exactly happened but all day I kept telling stories about Dean and I because they were funny stories but then I was bummed about it because like fuck man, I should stop talking about this guy I'm not with but the stories are so fucking funny. So I said "not to keep talking about Dean but-" and she stopped and said that it was fine. But like not like a "lol nah man it's cool" more like a "this guy meant a lot to you and it was the most significant relationship you've even had even if it wasn't the longest. You're gonna have stories to tell" and it meant a lot.

[sarahstaralis]

😍😍😍😍😍 {#stony #stevetony #superfamily #superhusbands #avengers} [credits to artis]

[itsjameshamishjames]

January 3,2017

I had my top surgery consultation and its scheduled for spring break and i am so excited because thats in March

but like a TOTAL tmi, my surgeon said i will lose all feeling in my niples and they are really sensitive so when im hooking up with someone, them playing with them is like A+ so i guess i’ll miss that but fuck it i’m so excited for march