3 Seeds of Wisdom that changed my life!
I was bullied, mocked, and humiliated both in private and in public by people that I had trusted the most in my life, and I didn’t know how to put an end to the constant torture and torment.
The truth is I was never conditioned to stand up for myself but to always surrender in the name of courtesy; nor did I have any self-awareness about my rights.
But life doesn’t always work that way!
My life took a turn when I was accepted for a full-bright scholarship in a prestigious UK University. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever, for the better…
It was on my third day on campus that I met her. She would turn out to be my Academic Advisor for two years.
She was like Master Oogway to me! Yeah, the one that the plump panda had in the “Kung Fu Panda” movie: so full of sagacity, splattering out wisdom in a cascade; pure, profound, and always composed and calm.
I had an emotional breakdown during our first meeting; sinking in the quicksand of embarrassment, I rushed to apologize to her. To my utter surprise, this is how she responded:
She: “Gul, why are you sorry? For breaking down in front of your academic advisor or for showing the human side of your personality?” I watched her gracefully rising to her feet and grabbing a napkin.
Me: “I didn’t mean to be vulnerable.”
While offering the napkin to me, she continued;
“Our vulnerabilities are what make us human. Never feel sorry for expressing your emotions. It takes a lot of strength to put your emotions out there for people to see. You are rather stronger than others.”
She then picked three sunflower seeds from the intricately ornate Iznik pottery bowl (one she had probably bought from a holiday to Turkey) and placed them on the table between us.
She: “Consider these as seeds of wisdom, plant them down in your mind and soul, feed them with daily practice and commitment, let them grow in your personality.”
I still remember the spell that her undulated voice and unprecedented words cast on me that day.
Her first piece of wisdom was:
Be fierce, focused, and fearless, and let it translates through your work:
Have you ever heard about human kleptoparasites?
There is a village in the Central African Republic where locals steal prey from predators for their own survival. A lion pride is tolerated in the surrounding area because when they hunt the villagers take away the lions’ prey.
For a split second, imagine yourself looting food from a starving lion, even from a tame one. Could you do that? The answer would most probably be ‘No.’
Animals can sense our fear. The moment you get scared the famished lion would pounce on you and knock you down. Then suffocate you to death by clamping his jaws on your throat.
Without sweeping generalizations, I believe humans as social animals are more or less the same as wild lions. We can sense feelings and emotions, fragility and firmness, aversions and inclinations, love and hate!
It takes a lot of courage to be that fearless.
Looking straight into the eyes of adversity: overpower it instead of being overwhelmed; remain focused than become its fugitive; be fierce rather than feeble in your words and actions- that’s how we overcome our demons.
Holding on to the first seed of wisdom, I entered the lecture hall the next day without any sign of trepidation, but rather with a new sense of self-confidence and so aced a presentation I had to give.
2- First thing to do in the morning: decide how you will spend the rest of the day.
While I was in Jordan for my Arabic Language Immersion Program, I got into a scuffle with my roommate and a classmate over a petty issue. Our trivial scuffle turned into a massive brawl that ultimately started taking a toll on my mental and emotional health.
I am sure we all have been in situations where our emotions take control over us, and we lose our cool.
Here I would like to drop the second seed of wisdom that helped me through this difficult time:
“Every morning, the moment you wake up, you have the chance to set the tone for the rest of your day, be it positive or negative, you should be the one deciding it. Don’t let people decide it for you.”
According to scientists, the first 20 minutes of our day holds a decisive role in our success in life as our brains and bodies are in an alpha state.
During alpha state, your subconscious mind is highly active. It is your time for the power play.
Always remember what Napoleon Hill-the author of Think and Grow Rich (1937) said:
You are the master of your own destiny!
So, own it! Be the master!
Unconsciously, we often fall prey to the whirlpool of others’ emotional and mental traps that do more harm than any good.
Don’t fall prey to such nonsense. If it’s not your circus, it shouldn’t be your monkey!
Train your subconscious mind to direct your vim and vigour on constructive and productive activities, and you can plan out a prudent to-do-list within the first 20 minutes of your day:
· Try jotting down your short-term goals or make a to-do-list.
· Watching a TED-talk every morning before turning in for work is also highly effective: at least it worked for me!
· Many people start a skill or activity with great enthusiasm, but their zeal soon peters out. Persistence is the key to unlock the door of success and anything that we wish to achieve in life.
3- Make connections: the more diverse, the better!
I lived in a small village in the central part of Pakistan. A place where it seemed everyone knew everything and everyone’s business around them. Denizens were cosily dwelling in their safe bubble that nobody ever tried to look outside the village or even bother to visit the adjacent town.
In the UK, I was exposed to a whole new world of multicultural and multinational identities. I didn’t know what to do or how to respond to it.
I just tried to wind my way through it all without connecting to even a single soul.
But I kept observing, gauging, and analysing people around me.
It made me understand people in a more nuanced way.
The most riveting thing I observed in humans is that we long for similarities, likenesses, and mirror images of our thoughts and identities.
We lean towards national, cultural, ethnic, or even linguistic clusters aligned to our hues of personality. We find serenity and felicity in these cocoons because sameness seems easier to handle.
What we often overlook is the power of diversity and pluralism within society. We can learn more from people who are different from us as they challenge our pre-established notions.
A pluralist, cosmopolitan society is a society which not only accepts difference but actively seeks to understand it and to learn from it. In this perspective, diversity is not a burden to be endured but an opportunity to be welcomed.
(An excerpt from the lecture of Aga Khan at Harvard University Cambridge)
Let’s make the most out of this opportunity.
Fortunately, we live in a very fluid world where globalization and technology have made it easier for humans to connect and create collaborations.
Keeping in view the chaos the global pandemic has brought in the world, sisterhood, brotherhood, partnerships, and associations across borders are needed more now than ever before.
Reach out to people in need!
Be kind, where kindness is needed.
Be forgiving, where forgiveness is needed.
Be a source of hope, where hope is needed.
Make this world a better place for humankind- a world of opportunities and happiness.
That’s what she (my Master Oogway) taught me, and I have internalized for good.
What I shared was the odyssey of just three seeds.
But the story doesn’t end here. Remember, she had an intricately ornate Iznik pottery bowl full of seeds!
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