raymund yadao

est. 1996 • Bitch, I saved Rihanna from wild bears •

[itsraymundyadao]

65 years is not enough for you... Papa! 🎉

To the best Superman ever who made us his kryptonite(s), today's the day you need to enjoy life to the fullest. 🎉 You already reached 65, I know you felt already the self-fulfillment in life seeing your children successful; having grandchild and proving that life is everything as perfect. 👌🏻

So, I made my "13 Reasons Why" life is even more perfect with the best dad, best(est) papshie and my #0 die-hard fan evahhh. 😂🖤

#1 You give something even if you don't have something.

I remember myself asking you a hundred peso bill because I badly need it for school. Then I'm shookt, you borrowed money just to made me passed the needed project and I'm very thankful of that. Now, I'm a teacher; have a stable job and can definitely give back more. ❤️

#2 You're there (when mostly needed) even if you're drunk. 😂🔥

That's a talent tho. Remember that's 8pm.  Got home from Tuguegarao City for a contest and you had 15-minute drive just to make sure I'll be home. Matik Papa, you're drunk that time and I even scolded you. But you told me, "Ammok nga adda man certificates ken medals mun! Naginumakun ta ammuk adda isangpet mo!" How does that sounds bes? 💁🏼

#3 You're repeating everything and everything. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙅🏼

This is the reason why I'm always pissed off when I'm home from school, work or awrahan. You're giving a lot of pieces of advises and tell-tale-ing stories in English, making yourself pain in my ass. That's non-stop 'til you dropped. And that's okay. I'm used to it. I mean, we're used to it. 🤦🏼‍♀️

And I’m like,

#4 You thought me how to be strong against adversities. 💅🏻

Experience is the best teacher but don't let that experience teach you the hard way. I'm just an egg and you're the yolk. My life is incomplete without you. You're my lifeguard when the waves roll over. And know what, I'm grateful asf for that. ❤️🙏🏻

#5 You read what I read, what I wrote and even scratches and drafts. 😍😇

Bibliophile. Copy-reader. Editor.

Thanks for reading all of my write-ups and ka-echosan at the back of my notebook, lesson plans and even my senseless comics and stories. Giving such comments like you don't like it, you messed up the character and too wordy, were so helpful Papa. Jak lang kayat ket agkalkal ka dim ammu agsubli su nga maungtan nak manen. Nawara nak kanu. 😂

#6 You don't know my 18th birthday but you remembered it when I asked you to buy drinks. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Agsakit man nakem ku idi. Jak rimwar ta awan handak. That's so boorish behavior. I know you don't have the means to celebrate like this because what is more important to you is what will you bring to the dining table in the next days. But now, lemme pay back. I'm paying back all the hardships when your going out under the pouring rain or scorching sun just to get aba, uong and kabatiti which I loved to eat. ❤️

#7 You're pushing me forward when I go down.

You're my pulley and my lever. Once, you beat me when I did something wrong. I know, you're very disappointed that time and running around my mind that time, "Han lang kuma sika ti Papang kun." But everything changed when I heard you're being proud to your friends for having me in your life. Those bruises thought me that you cared and loved me, us. 💔

#8 Jack-of-all-trades, that's you. 👴🏻

You're updated as ever. You chika a lot. You're hyping when I'm so tired, singing out of tune, talking and asking questions in English, answering two or three crosswords in just a day, and name it, Papa has it. No doubt, I'm so me. 👱🏼‍♀️

#9 Hope you're a cat. Have 9 lives and see me have kids. 🐱❤️

Srsly, I wanna see you longer. ❤️🙏🏻 Remember when you bleed to death with your foot and been stabbed with a knife? It's kinda amusing because even if you're hurting, you never forget to drink alcohol and that's make you weird. Agpungtut la garuden ni manangen ket, uminom pela. 😂

#10 You're just like me when tired, in an "energy-saving mode" 💁🏼

No movements. Complete silence. Feels like we don't like to get out of the bed and slapped those intruders when someone need us. Sorry for being lazy Pa. Got it from you. Like lol

#11 Accepted me not for who I am, but for what I am. ❤️🌈

Thanks for being rational. Felt no discrimination but accepted all of my flaws. Every one is equal in your eyes. You see people like dots from above and cheers for that. ✨

#12 You loved us unconditionally. ❤️

As the youngest, I know your eyes will be on me. I know you never feel like I love you because we barely talk, but I know those simple things when I'm home. It's perfect. So magical. Papa, sounds so high school but sikat umuna ken maudi nga lalaki nga ay-ayatek. ❤️❤️

And,

#13. "You're an angel in the shape of my mom." - Ed Sheeran ❤️✨

I was seven or eight that time, you asked me, "Gusto mo pa bang magkaron ng Mama?" because I never grew up with my real mom and I don't speak Ilocano that time and you never received a response. But now, "Padasem kunak garud! Aywanam latta agita apukumun!"

Srlsy, doing the dishes then do all man chores, that's a perfect 10! May nanalo na at Papa ko yun! 💁🏼

Idk where you've got all of those strengths and guts when I know you're tired, fed up in isolation and feel like giving up.

My kind of 13 reasons why is not enough to tell the whole world that you're the best. For me, you exceeded my expectations than the Dalai Lama, Donald Trump or even Duterte. 😂💁🏼👌🏻

But bae, happy birthday Papa! We're very thankful that we're here, we are who we are now. I met your standards, the dream that you wished I'll achieved. We're not beyond par but we'll do perfect for you because "Pa, you're always be the best." ❤️

[itsraymundyadao]

How to get away with board exam?

My friends asked me, “how to pass the board exam? mahirap ba? lumabas ba lahat ng ni-review niyo?”

And I’m like, “girl, jusq! kung alam mo lang kung anong pagre-review ang ginawa namin ng mga beshies ko pero wala namang lumabas kahit isa.”

Pero syempre di ko sinabi sakanila ‘yan at baka mahimatay pa sila at magsama nba ang kilay at ang hairline nila kaka-review.

Kaya naisipan kong gumawa ng mga tips on how to die reviewing just to pass the licensure exam (o kahit ano mang exam pa ‘yan!)

1. Sleep is the key.

You should take a rest one week before the exam. Hindi ‘yung nasanay ka ng mag-cram kapag may exam. Deadline will not help you tho. Kailangan mo ring maghanda at syempre magpahinga like me. Hwag mag-petiks six months after graduation. Dapat after graduation niyo, books at review material pa rin ang hawak mo. I enrolled for a comprehensive review starting to Astronomy to Zumba subjects para lang makapasa, kaya sana ikaw din. Hindi mo alam kung ano lang lalabas na mga questions sa board exam. Hindi mo alam!

2. Trust your instincts.

Kapag letter A ang sagot, hwag nang palitan. If you’re still undecided, leave it for awhile then go back if you have time. Bilugan mo yang number or drawing-an mo ng kahit anong shape basta may sign ka. Binayaran niyo yang test paper kaya okay lang na kahit anong gawin mo pa diyan BUT di pwedeng iuwi. Ano ka sinuswerte? Because this might destroy you, your paper, your life, your future and your dream to be a licensed-something you’d like to be. Mongol 2 ang gagamitin. Hwag gumamit ng panbura na kumakalat! Ako na ang nagsasabi sayo! If you still really don’t know the answer, usually C or D ang answers for this kasi sabi ng prof ko before, ang mga test-takers daw ay tinatamad ng magbasa ng mga options up until C-D. Pero board exam is not a joke, basa basa din kasi kapag may time. Kaya ganern!

3. Eat while you review (or even during exam proper but sparingly)

Eat anything you want while reviewing, but never forget adding coffee to complete the combo. Recommend brain foods are: almonds, apple, watermelon, ginger, cabbage, lettuce, avocado, chocolate, green tea, brown rice, broccoli, and never forget 8-12 glasses of water. But if you need chill, a la sige! Kumain ka ng burger at pizza! Bahala ka.

4. Read. Read. READ!

Read a lot tho kasi nga di mo naman alam lahat ng lalabas sa exam. You’ll cry blood kapag nasa examination room ka na at baka maloka ka agad-agad kasi number 1 palang hindi mo alam because you failed to read at nag-Facebook ka.Masabi mo na lang bigla na “JUSQ BES!” or mapapa-”WTF! Hindi namin to na-review!” Like what i said, basa basa di kasi bes.

5. PRAY.

Never forget to ask His assistance and blessings. Talking to Him and asking Him to make you a professional person you’d like to be is not bad. Wala namang mawawala kahit ano pang hilingin mo at ibibigay Niya ‘yan sayo if you really worht it. Pagpaguran mo rin kasi and for sure, He’ll give it to you.

Trust me bes, these will help you.

[itsraymundyadao]

how to be you po? 😂😂

simplehan mo lang besss

[itsraymundyadao]

No-bae November

1. strictly no make-up girl, november na! di na october 31 at pang-halloween pa mukha mo. baka matunaw pa liquid foundation mo, malagas yang false eyelashes mo at mabura yang matte lipstick mo. ending, magmukha ka pang zombie. sementeryo pupuntahan mo, at di prom. wala kang lalandiin dun ok ba bes? and i dont like u to be like this,

2. wear decent. 2016 na, hwag naman jejemon look. wear something black and white or gray. hwag magpasikat mga bes! hwag magsuot ng neon pink and green. be casual and respect the day for the dead.

magsuot lang ng ganyan ng naaayon sa mukha, sa pera at sa skin. #notetoself 3. stop all ur hugot(s) na muna. walang kinalaman ang pagiging broken-hearted mo sa sementeryo. walang RIP to my feelings and everything. wala munang drama, bæsic.

4. no deadly weapons. hwag magpaka-walking dead at hunger games sa sementeryo b3s! follow the rules muna kung ayaw mong kumain ng corn beef.

5. no vaping and cigarettes (pls). di mo ikakagwapo yan. if ever may dala ka, dala ka din ng plastic then takip mo sa ulo mo. para ikaw lang maperwisyo. tiba-tiba ka pa usok. ok ba bes?

6. bring the "tita-starter pack." pamaypay, white flower, katinko, crackers, mineral water, panyo, flashlight and scarf in case of emergency. be safe than sorry bes. 7. clean ur own mess. hwag magpaka-like-a-boss sa sementeryo bes. walang janitor dun. ang meron lang ay yung mga batang nangunguha ng tira-tirang kandila at polboron. kaya remember bago umalis, lagyan ng tape o mightybond yung mga alay para di na makuha. for sure, madadatnan mo pa yun next year. syempre joke lang, basta linis linis din! 

kaya,

8. use ur gadgets sparingly. walang photoshoot na magaganap. iwasan munang magselfie. okay lang (siguro) ang group photo ops kc nga pinaka-reunion na yun ng family pero hwag naman puro picture picture. baka maging new year ang all saints and souls' day dahil sa dami ng flashes.

9. keep calm bes. hwag magpaka-beastmode kesyo baha, nabasa ka, siksikan, nasunog nuhok mo kc may tatanga-tanga sa paghahawak ng kandila, nadumihan suot mo or di ka nakabili sa mcdo at jollibee stalls kc nga mahaba yung pila at di ka na makamove-on. iiyak mo na lang nun or better, hintay lang. may tamang panahn para diyan. pero kapag nasugatan ka na and everyting. ilabas ang brtilyante!

10. werk werk werk werk werk ka na lang by rihanna. do ur job bes. 200% pay din yun! double salary din yun on top of your regular pay. so fly na sa werk and if u want, mag-overtime ka pa. diyan ka naman magaling e.

pero remeber, hwag maging mananaggal. yung tiponh babalikan mo lang yung iniwan mo para makumpleto ka na ulit kc nagsawa ka na sa ere sa pagiging mag-isa. ge kbye bess

[itsraymundyadao]

Mom

Today, when I was at the jeep to go home, I had the chance to observe this mother and her child from the market. The mother’s shirt caught my attention saying “To teach is to touch lives forever.” Then, an idea struck me, she’s (maybe) a teacher. I glanced to her sweating son, aged 8-10, because of the hot weather and the heavy bags he’s carrying. Her mother used her handkerchief to rub her son’s oily face and pulled her son to her shoulder to rest.

Suddenly, I felt the feeling of jealousy. I realized that a part of my life is missing; a part of me longing for the love and care of a mother, a mother that would protect me when the world turn their backs at me, a mother that can definitely love me unconditionally and understand my flaws and, a mother who’ll underestimate my personality and will celebrate triumphs of life.

I just wish my mom’s still alive.

sml,

Yadao, R (2016)

[itsraymundyadao]

Rape (in progress) Iww

Dahil usung-uso ang issue ng ‘rape’ sa social media sa mga nagdaang araw, edi maglalabasan na naman ang mga kwentong biktima daw sila ng paghahalay. Well, it’s my time to share naman. Naumay naman kasi akong makinig at magbasa sa mga makamundong pagnanasa sakanila ng ibang tao.

And here it goes…

April 17. Wala si Papa. Home alone ako nu’n at napakainit pa ng panahon. Indeed, Philippines to oven real quick. (Habang tinatype ko ‘to, I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s bad Blood) Feeling ko kasi, ako si Catastrophe! Kaya hail to queen Tay! HAHAHAHA

Srsly, half-naked ako nun. Coffee break kahit mainit ang panahon. Nakaugalian ko kasing uminom ng kape paggising at pagkatapos maligo. Ewan ko ba! Mabuti nga’t di ko pa natitikman yang wanpipti na venti na ‘yan eh! Edi dumating na mga dabarkads ni Papa. Mga asungot sa bahay na lasing na lasing na naman sa gin, an gaga-aga! Mga putanina niyo tol! *insert Kuya Jobert’s voice here*

BIglang pumasok yung sira-ulong gagong putang-inang matandang akala mo naman papatulan ko! (OVER MY DEAD BEAUTIFUL KUKO!) Naalala ko bigla yung mga kaibigan kong pabebe na puro kokak ang alam dahil sa expression na ‘yan! Akala mo naman ikakaganda nila. Sayang lang at tapos na kong mag-aral, di ko na sila makakasamang mag-Twitter sa library, sabay kumain every lunch break at umihi sa CR ng CBEA building na puro orange na lahat ang lavatory at rumampa sa corridor ng CRIM hanggang CTEd building para lang mapansin ng mga IT studes. HAHAHAHAHA

Edi nga linapitan niya telling, “Gusto mo bang makita? Basta ba huwag mong sasabihin sa ate mo at sa awasa ko. Hawakan mo!”

Like duh! Putangina mo sa sarap lo! Lolo na yata kitang maituturing tapos uutuin mo pa ko ng ganyan! Mabuti nandun sa study table ko yung kutsilyo at hinawakan ko bigla at itinutok sakanya, “Sige lang! Doon ka nga. Maligo ka! Hwag ako! Ang libog nito!” Pero srsly, nagtatapang-tapangan lang ako nun. Syempre, baka agawin yung kutsilyo ako pa masaksak ng putangina. Edi ako pa talo.

Pero di natinag ang gago. “Dali na! hawakan mo lang saglit!” sabay labas ng kanyang batuta.

I’m like, “PUTANGINA MO!”

Ang ginawa ko, akok na misom ang nag-walkout, palabas ng bahay.  Iniwan kong naka-open yung laptop ko. Naka-autosave naman yung docu dun eh. Kaya thankful ako na ganun ‘yung nangyari.

After that incident, sinumbong ko kay ate yung nangyari at pinagsabihan niya yung asawa nung malibog na gagong yun. Pasalamat siya at di ko siya pina-barangay. Talagang magsasampa ako kung talagang di nagtanda yung lalaki sa ginawa niya.

Nakakaawa lang kasi kahit bakla, pinagsasamantalahan. Liberated mang tignan sa lipunan ngayon, pero tao pa rin ang mga bakla . Nasasaktan at natatakot din. Hindi ko sibasabing porket matanda yung nang-harass saki at hindi gwapo’t binata, malaki kargada, eh gorabells na ang beauty ng dyosa no. Marunong din kaming umayaw at magpigil. Ganyan naman kasi ang perception ng tao sa mga members ng LGBT community.

Puro sex ang nasa utak.

Puro harot at landi.

Puro awra.

Mga kohage.

Mga umaasa sa Tinder.

Kay hey ppl! Look at the other side of the coin. Society nowadays sucks.

[itsraymundyadao]

WALANG FOREVER

One day, you’re everything. The next day, you’re nothing. One day, you’re the answered prayer. The next day, I regret you came. One day, you love me more than your life. The next day, you throw the love. One day, you told me that you can’t live without me. The next day, you’re gone and ignored me. People nowadays say how lucky you are to have me But you don’t know how to keep me in your heart. This is how easy you replace me in your heart.

[itsraymundyadao]

The Metaphor of Election

(c) Prakash Singh, Getty Images

I bet it is not only me who experienced this, but also a lot of Filipinos as well as we open the television where aspiring candidates to any position in the government were telling their dramas and add more color flooded the mainstream with their political ads just to be voted this coming May 2016 election.

Who wouldn’t remember these tiring and cliché lines, “Nognog. Pandak. Laki sa hirap. Sino pa ba ang magtu-tulungan kundi tayo-tayorin!” plus “Hindi ako corrupt. Hindi ko kayo nanakawan,”? Well, I guess we’re all persuaded with their resounding faces and puppy-eyes plus their never-ending propagandas, but did you notice that they just win your hearts and not your minds? However, more and more people now use their decisions in choosing their bets that can definitely solve the main problems of the Philippines, hunger and corruption.

Hunger had been the number one problem of many growing countries such as the Philippines. Even though our country is bestowed with adverse flora and fauna; still, hunger remained unsolved. The problem still boils into one, corruption; created by the dirty hands of these crooked political elites that wants to become one that may and may not continue the latter problem that dejects the Filipino trust.

Remember the PDAF (Priority Development Assistance Fund) Scam that made Janet Lim Napoles an instant celebrity in the gleams and glamour of fraud. In the first place, billions of pesos must be spent to the development and assistance of small people especially the illegal settlers for they’re the priority of the government. But what had happened was a dilemma not only for her but also to Pinoy populace that still works in the mud, lives in the mud, and expects in the mud. The money that is intended to be theirs was made into various missing projects, over-priced government structures and unexplained wealth by these corrupt officials.

If we continue to choose these execs that can’t stop our predicaments, then better stop what we thought they may do if they won a position in the government. This coming May, never be deceived by these glittering 500-peso bill for they will pay your day 46 cents and 164.25 pesos a year in exchange of your precious vote resulting to a miserable and hard life in three years.

However, the solution still in our hands. Don’t be victimized again.

[itsraymundyadao]

The Friday Currently #5

😂😂It’s been a month after my last volume of #TFC’s because I’ve been in Pampanga to have my late summer vacation before I’ll make my time more productive again as I open and analyze the books I bought for my self-review sessions every day for the licensure examination this September. AJA for mehhhhh bitchazzz!

Writing

The Friday Currently vol. 05 and for goodness sake, I had comprehensive reviews to all subjects ranging to Anatomy to Zoology and Zumba (I’m not kidding!). Btw, I’ll be running to the position of Sangguniang Kabataan (SK) Chair in our barangay. Hope I’ll win asf!

Proof? See here

Listening

Sara Bareilles’ Brave is undeniably unbeatable than heat telling me “say what you wanna say and let the world fall out,” so bitch, fuck off!

Thinking

“Hello work world! Good bye baon!” Lemme cry with this! HUHUBELLS

Fyi, colleges and universities in Cagayan will open this August and I’m planning to enroll again (not for Masteral) but for another degree, AB MassCom. (Scholarships out there, anyone?)

Smelling

Coffee. Coffee. Coffeeeeeeeee!

Wishing

To pass the board exam, get a license to teach then finally, find a stable job for me and for my family.

Hoping

For a better and peaceful place to live in. Actually, this major incident happened in Arayat, Pampanga almost killed the nerves inside me. Here’s the story: T’was 8:30 pm. My friends planned to buy ‘balut’ though I’m not eating such eggs. We’re 3 meters way the incident when we heard five gunshots in a sari-sari store and shouts of terror among the crowd. The result: one dead, one hurt. The cause: shabu.

I actually panicked that I almost run for my life as if I’m one of the characters in Temple Run because it’s my first time to experience such terror. After that incident, I refused to go out late at night hanging with friends. #ChangeIsComing

Wearing

My plain black tshirt shirt I bought with a caption “Just take me home.”

Loving

My black and white Yeezy! Thanks Kuya Jeff for the treat! HAHAHAHA

Wanting

A meet-and-greet with Charlie Puth! OMOGOD This One Call Away-man really wakes me up being a human. So Charlie, I’m just one call away bitchzz to suck your dick. Just kiddin 😂😂

Needing

Finding MONEY for my schooling expenses for another four years of studying!

Feeling

- secured. Tgif!

[itsraymundyadao]

The Friday Currently #4

Summer just started ant we ain’t accept the fact that from Philippines to oven real quick. I really hate the feeling that sweat is running everywhere in our bodies right now. It’s good that we’re not dying of thirst and we’re free to be naked every sleepless night due to the heat. Seriously, this version of my Friday Currently talks about summer that made people every part of the world mad. So cheers for the radiation!

Reading

Some test papers in Physics, Rizal, Trigonometry, and Economics for my summer reviews. Well, (if you’re reading my volumes of my Friday Currently’s) we must undergo to such review that will absolutely prepare us to pass the licensure exam this coming September but my mind and body wants to rest for a while (good for 8 hours) and sleep like Aurora. I don’t have to say any word right now ‘cos these shits were making me insane.

Writing

The Friday Currently vol. 04 but I’m looking for my diary where I wrote everything in my mind in my days of schooling. Maybe, I just misplaced that fucking diary and make myself fit for Dyosa’s term ‘burara.’

Listening

Rihanna’s Russian Roulette is a superb song! I feel like she’s singing a very good lullaby that really makes me rest for awhile until you heard the BANG! Hail to Queen R!

And oh! Don’t forget these politicians with their head banging non-stop songs that really makes my body enter a new dimension and hide there a bit or even forever dahil wala namang forever.

Thinking Of what will be my work after this summer reviews by the school. I inquired two schools but it’s an epic fail. The trade school is willing to accept fresh graduates/non-licensed teachers in exchange of the fair and other expenses. Just wtf! But the Florencio L. Vargas – Abulug, two towns away from home, accepts fresh grads with 6.5k as a salary. The problem is, ate don’t like the idea that I’ll be teaching faraway from home. Then, what will I do three months after the review? Mouth open open… NGANGA!

Smelling The Pinakbet cooked by Papa that really makes my pet inside my stomach rumble. I can still taste the Biscoccho Ma’am Janet gave me. Then, in front of me are two ripe mangoes that calling me, “Eat us asap!”

Wishing Some light rains that may suffice our withering bodies. Tbh, it’s really hot here in Cagayan! How much more in the city where pollution is prevalent and people everywhere is on jam? I’m, just thankful that I can still have fresh air and here chirping birds here in the province.

Hoping That I’ll pass the exam this September for me to pay forward my parents and guardian did though I’m always a badass, lazy, and hardheaded to them. Sorry Papa! Agyaman nak latta uray kastuy ti kinisadut ku, adda ka latta’t abay ku! *pukes* This is drama again!

Wearing Nothing. Kidding aside, I’m wearing an old tee with a tribal design, short shorts (Why the heck people call it short shorts where in fact, it’s short?) and heirloom from Dyosa before he gone for Bulacan for good (LOL), his flip flops. Wala kasi akong tsinelas e. Poorita para sa ekonomiya, ganoin!

Loving The easy life province caters me. Seriously, everything here is free (literally). I’m loving Cagayan na! But I’m still longing for Pampanga. Wait there for me and not my treat there my dearest friends! I’ll be there this end of May and see you when I see you!

Wanting A VIP ticket for Charlie Puth’s concert in Manila! I loved that guy to the moon and back!

Needing A new phone. Again, this phone I’m using is another heirloom of Dyos when he came from Pampanga. He’s so bait talaga! Pwe

Feeling Tired again though I didn’t move a little. Lemme throw a broken heart to the sky bitches!

[itsraymundyadao]

Presidents Q&A v 2.3.2

As a first-time voter, a lot of questions are tingling in my mind right now; questions that will definitely satisfy my curiosity towards the dirty world of politics. This May 2016, we’ll vote for a president who’ll absolutely help us in our daily lives unless we’ll vote wisely.

As the Presidential Debates were going on, I want to ask a lot questions to the aspirants for the highest position in the Philippines:

For VP Jejomar Binay

1. What really happened to your skin?

No joke for this! It’s just that Binay clan spend more time under the sun than under their so-called haciendas.  I guess, the sun is your favorite part of the universe.

2. What is/are your positions/stands towards the Black Propaganda?

I’m quite sure that I’m not talking with your skin color here rather, your acceptability towards the black propaganda which is very prevalent in our country due to population expulsion and poverty.

3. If ever you’ll win, are you willing to appoint one of your co-candidates to the Cabinet?

I guess, Sen. Miriam will be a great help in the Justice department while Poe will be back to MTRCB and Mayor Duterte is good for DILG. I don’t know for Roxas. Well, the choice is yours.

4. Your daughter, Nancy Binay, is such a laughingstock to the public. Did you experience such when you’re in lower position?

I guess yes because of the genes you had as a legacy to her. Kidding aside, people nowadays were not aware with their body and they just throw judgments to other people without looking at themselves like me.

5. How many bank accounts you have while the Makati Building and Parking Lot is going on?

We need power point presentations for your explanation VP Binay. This is a serious problem your family ever encountered and because of this, you’re not leading in the surveys.

For Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

1. What brand is your lipstick?

I bet you’re not using those cheap lip tints and every time I see you in television, you’re in your best filter of lips. Are you using Yaya Dub’s also?

2. What’s your lowest grade in college?

I bet you have one but that’s still in the par, am I right?

3. Did you ever cheat while you’re studying?

I guess no. But who knows?

4. Are you still sickly?

Whenever I see you in television, you’re still alive and kicking. I even read your two books about stupidity and one topic you tackled is your sickness. Then, if ever you’ll win and you’re still sick, are you willing to pass the top spot in the government to your VP? (Yes if the VP’s Marcos. #BBM4VP)

5. What’s your beauty regimen for that curly hair?

Maybe you’re a Nigerian or somewhat Indian. Maybe you had your chance to go to a very cozy salon to have that looker! 6. What is bigger, Doraemon’s pocket or Dora’s backpack? I ask you this question because you’re the most credible candidate to be the next president. Support your arguments with facts and examples please.

7. Explain the 50 Shades of Grey by using the Mongol 2 pencil in a Venn diagram.

Again, this question is connected to #6 and I bet you watched the movie that really gave us shivers!

For Mayor Rodrigo Duterte

1. Are you (still) masturbating?

Well, among the other candidates who were aspiring to win the highest spot in the government, you’re the only candidate that is very open to all. I guess, the answer for my question is yes, am I right?

2. Is Sarah a fan of Miley Cyrus?

Or should I ask this to Sarah instead. I’m in shock when I saw her Instagram account. Where on Earth did she get her courage to have that hairstyle? (in fact, she’s a woman)

3. I’m a victim of rape. What’s your advice for me to recover?

I know rape is very sensitive case in every Filipino lives because our country is set under morals, rules and norms. But to be honest, I was molested and used (not in sex of course!). Not to be ridiculed but I’m just telling the truth. If you’ll read this and reply to my laments, you’ll be my president.

4. If ever you’ll be the next president, will LGBT a part of your program?

Yes or no? LGBT is very wide in scope. I know you’re ready to address the needs and wants of the organization if ever you’ll be the next pres.

5. Character or competence?

Based on the news I’ve been reading these past few days, you’re always in the headline ranging to different topics like from rape to dictatorship real quick. Then, which is more important to you as if you’re the president?

For Sen. Grace Poe

1. Are you eating glutathione?

God! You have the most gleaming skin among the candidates. Then, what’s your beauty regimen for your skin? I’m captivated and motivated by your skin. Please share your secret to Nancy for me.

2. What really happened to the coco levies? One question struck you during the debate is from Binay that really made you nervous. Still, my mind wants a convincing excel presentation with this.

3. Define nationalism in five words.

“Pinoy to American real quick.”

4. I wish you the best in your way. Then, what’s your way if you’ll be the president?

Daang pa-Amerika ba? Or you’ll follow the straight path PNoy did. It sounds cliché but can you make another way?

For LP standard bearer Mar Roxas

1. #Realtalk nga tayo, Mar! Did you really visit Tacloban after the onslaught Yolanda?

Let’s be fair, Mar. Just talk and we’ll listen. Just get ready with the hate. Nothing will happen unless you’ll tell us the truth.

2. If you wife, Korina, gives flip flops, what heirlooms are you giving to your supporters?

If you’re giving Iphone 6 or even a J5, my vote will be yours; or you’ll follow Korina’s steps to win?

3. Your son is so damn gwapo. What’s his secret?

I’m asking you this for me to have chika to Binay’s son. Even Poe and Duterte’s sons were so good as KFC’s chicken joy!

4. Rate 1-10. How fake your smile?

No follow-up question for this.

[itsraymundyadao]

Kapag naging president na si Duterte

Bakit ba madaming nagagalit kay Duterte?

Nakikiuso na lang talaga ‘yung ibang tao na magbuhos ng galit sakanya e. Tapos nauuso pa ngayon ang mga profile pictures sa Facebook na “I’m a Filipino and my president is Duterte.” E paano naman kaming ‘di boboto sakanya? Hindi na ba kami maituturing na Pilipino nun at baka palayasin pa nga kami sa Pilipinas kapag nangyari ‘yun e! Yang tataa!

Kung tutuusin nga, kapag naging president si Duterte, parang semi-dictatorship na nun ang pamamalakad niya sa bansa. Pero paano ba masusugpo ang krimen sa loob lamang ng anim na buwan? May time space warp ba para sa mga kriminal na gagawin ang DOST para naman mawala na lang sila nang biglaan at mapunta sa Pluto at magtanim ng patatas? May Pokemon ba siya na tutulong para sa ekonomiya ng Pilipinas? May Sailor Moon ba siyang kasama para naman makuha niya in six months ang world peace? Magiging kasapi na ba ng armed forces ang mga BIFF at MILF? Mawawala din ba ang graft and corruption for in the first place, marami pa rin sila in the lower positions? Well, maganda naman ‘yung ganun na ka-optimistic at goal-oriented na presidente and I guess, lahat naman sila. H’wag lang masyadong mayabang at over-confident na maa-attain niya lahat ‘yang mga pinagsasabi niyang mga plano sa mga nagdaang debates at campaign churva dahil baka drawing lang talaga ‘yan at epic fail ang expectations ng mga bumoto sakanya sa mga surveys at polls.

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, makakapagpekpek shorts ka na girl mula umaga hanggang gabi! Pwede ka pa ngang lumabas ng bra at panty lang ang suot dahil wala na ang mga maniac na nagkalat sa daan o ‘di kaya’y mga riding-in-tandem na kukuha sa bra at panty mo dahil nga safe na ang paligid ‘di ba. Magiging legal na nga rin ang pagiging famewhore mo sa Facebook at baka ma-discover ka pa ganern! Bonus naman kapag super ganda kmo ‘teh, “dapat presindente muna,” ganoin!

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, makakalabas ka na ng lungga mo ng safe and sound at makaka-awra ka pa kapag gabi. Wala nang riding-in-tandem, carnapper, holdapper, budol-budol gang, martilyo gang, name it, you’ll have it! It takes time nga lang dahil pilot testing muna ang time space warp ng DOST in the first three months ni Duterte sa Malacañan. Baka nga epic fail pa nga ang original plan at maging six years pa. Ikaw pa talo sa huli.

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, pasok na sa banga ang mga pabebe. Wala nang mang-aapi sakanila dahil sagot na sila ng PhilHealth at SSS sa kadahilanang may trabaho na sila sa DA. Magtatanim nga lang sila ng mga bala sa NAIA.

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, okay na okay na lang sa mga tao ang pagmumura. Para ngang pampalasa na ng bibig ‘yan ngayon eh. Parang candy, pampango ng bibig.

Sa palengke:

Costumer: Putangina! Pabili nga po! Tindera: Ano sayo gago? Costumer: Isa kilong manok nga at puta, ano to? Baboy ba ‘to shet! Bakit dumudugo pa? Putangina. H’wag ka nang magtinda next time. Shet! Pakidalian nga puta. Ang init oh! Tindera: Isa kang pabebe, gago! Og eto, P150 lahat ‘yan animal!

Sa office:

Boss: Good morning! *pabebe* Employees: Good morning nigga! Boss: How dare you?! *galit* Employees: Shut up you mothafuckahhh! Go to work now!

Sa isang weather forecast:

Kuya Kim: Putangina! Papalo po sa 48°C ang init saTuguegarao City kaya humanda po kayong mga gago at h’wag kalilimutang magdala ng payong at baka ‘di na kayo makatorjack! Ay shet! Nakalimutan ko script ko, direk! Sorry shit!

Si Dora the Explorer:

Dora: Can you tell me where the fucking bed is? Dora: Bullshit! Where? Dora: Oh wait. I have the map here, you dumbass!

Pabebe Ghurls in Starbucks:

Girl1: You know what biatches, my effing boyfriend is so weak talaga. Girl2: Ay shit. Why best? Girl1: Nilabashan na nga shiya agerd just in three fucking minutes. Bullshit talaga! Can you feel me! Girl3: Reallyyyyyyyyyy nigga?!

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, it’s okay to kill. There will be one day and one night every year where the Purge will be real – all crimes will be legal. So, kung rapist ka, mag-ipon ka na ng testosterone mo! At makakapag-bang bang na tayo!

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, Philippines will be the #1 safest country. Wala ng krimeng magaganap ganern! Baka nga ang mga dadayo pa sa Pilipinas ang papatay. Sila pa ang may karapatang mang-hostage, mga makakapal ang mukha!

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, may organization na ang mga Hokage. I’m sure, marami ang mga kasapi nito kung nagkataon na pwedeng ako, ikaw, tayo o kaya sila. Who knows? At ang matindi, baka si Mar Roxas ang secretary as mamimigay siya ng free condoms at Viagra in courtesy of Korina Sanchez. Kapag naging president na si Duterte, ipapaglaban niya ng todo-todo ang Spratlys Islands. Baka nga i-reclaim ulit natin ang Sabah, Malaysia dahil satin naman talaga iyon before. Makiki-cooperate na din and ating bansa sa North Korea at Iraq at magtatayo ito ng nuclear weapon factory sa Davao, capital city na ng Pilipinas nun.

Kapag naging president na si Duterte, wala ng papasok every Monday. School and work will start every Friday dahil isang beses lang papasok ang mag-aaral at manggagawa every week. Kapag umulan naman, suspended na ang classes as work kapag umambon pa lang o lubog na sa baha ang mga takong ng ating mga sapatos. Exemption: If you’re a student, kapag umabsent ka, wala kang sweldo. Kaya magbunyi!

And for the last, kapag naging president na si Duterte, the rest will be history. Good luck na lang sa mga non-voter dahil matitikman nila ang bangis ng isang Duterte boy.

Ikaw, ready ka na ba kapag naging president na si Duterte?

[itsraymundyadao]

ISANG KEMBOT NA LANG!

“ISANG KEMBOT NA LANGGGGGG!”

April 8, 2016 was the start of new beginnings – a beginning of a new timeline in my life where I must apply the theories and ideas outside the four-walled classroom; that I learned in the past four years of studying inside the world called COLLEGE. After this, I should stand independently just to be one, for I must use the learnings my professors had imparted to me.

LANITS finally graduates. (from left to right: Claribel Guillermo, Heidi Lyka Espejo, Raymund Yadao, Pauleye Kaye dela Cruz, Jaylord Guillermo, Regine Dacquigan, and Aileen Guillermo) *insert Rose Ann Bitagon and Gonieto Hernandez*

I remember myself carrying piles of instructional materials for my internship subject. Carrying such big box heavier than my bag and full of papers and materials for teaching was a dilemma for we’ll carry it to and fro school. I bet others may say that time “Kapag may nakita kang mga estudyante na nagbibitbit ng mga magagandang box, Educ ‘yan!” But that effort to carry was a worthwhile deed for I’ll be graduating today. I remember myself surfing the internet just for issues (any) to discuss for my Debate and Argumentation subject where I have to dig deeper for these issues just to have very good points and win the clash. I even had some bruises in my hand when I had to write the draft then rewrite the final constructive speech just to be organized. But that effort to be resourceful was a worthwhile deed for I’ll be graduating today. I remember myself wearing my PE uniform playing and dancing under the sun. I remember myself cramming for portfolios just to meet the deadline plus the final research paper that made our eyebrows merge and had hangover for coffee.

#fambam: Ate me and Jonash //

Who wouldn’t remember these unforgettable moments that made us to laugh, cuss, cry and move to be who we are today?

My fours years in college was a roller coaster; experienced a lots of downs that made me stronger and ups that motivated me to have more. One time, that roller coaster stopped because of the malady I have to endure. I guess that’s the biggest lesson college taught me, more important than the Pearson-R Correlation I learned in Statistics, Maslows’ Hierarchy of Needs in Child and Adolescent Development, the 1987 Philippine Constitution in Social Science, life and works of Rizal, Parliamentary procedure I liked in English and Zeus, Athena, Minerva, Cerberus I learned in Mythology.

One time, a friend asked me, “Cum Laude be?or  with merit?” I just simply replied, “Waley! Usual student lang ako be.” But when I’m alone, I asked myself. “Sa’n ba ko nagkulang?” Well, that’s the consequence for the misdeed I did and I accept it. I’m just grateful for granting second chances to correct my flaws; maybe not in just one shot but one by one.

So much with the drama now.

Savor your success.

I’m indebted to my parents who never failed me to support me with my studies and the ones who provided the means for me just to go to school everyday.

I appreciate my professors’ patience and understanding with my lackings in their subject. I will remember the things you taught me and the memories we had in the classroom.

To my friends and colleagues, I’m very thankful that that you’re by my side during the greatest dilemma I experienced in my college life. Slap when me I’ll do that again. Well, I am just being me. Alam niyo ‘yan!

And above all, Eucharist!

[itsraymundyadao]

Don’t me!

“You never learn to your lessons!”

I’m like,

Thank you for reminding me that you can dictate what will I do and manipulating my life. I can’t respond to your oh-so-famous-pabebe-line-with-merging-eyebrow of yours. 👏👏 for that so helpful line of yours ‘cos for now, I am highly motivated to give my best shot after graduation. I assure you that the last victory will be mine! That’s life. You’re soooo effing inconsiderate! For now, I don’t know if I’ll be thanking you for the learning you’ve impart after graduation. But mind(maybe) change. Who knows?

Basta, I hate you muna ngayon!

[itsraymundyadao]

The Friday Currently | 03

The Friday Currently | 03

April 1st. This is celebrated every year by playing practical jokes and spreading hoaxes anywhere, everywhere, anytime.

           Well, that’s me with my very best of friend, Narda! He’s so effing ‘gwapo di ba? Ugh! I miss him so much! 😍❤️

Reading

           Tweets about the this #1 topic in Twitter. Nothing funny, I just feel annoyed.

Writing

           The Friday Currently vol. 03. ❤️

Listening

           “I got that summertime sadness!”

           To Lade Del Ray’s Summertime Sadness. This song is a total obsessional love, that Del Ray's all-in masochistic approach to relationships in different ways is a hype. sml with this song, Lana!

Thinking

            All bad things I did in the past four years of my college life now that seven days from now, I’m graduating (hahahahaah finally bitches!) and leaving all the shitty memories

Smelling

           I have colds rn so I can’t smell or even taste the sharp tang of the chili burger I ate in front of the campus.

Wishing

          For this tbh 😍😍😍

Hoping

           For a gray hair. A silent place to sleep. MOney and wrok after graduation. See

Wearing

           My usual CARAA shirt. shitttt

Loving

           My feed about this Mossimo Online Models Audition like shit!

Wanting

           Everything to be fine.

Needing

           A lot of time to sleep, eat, and a wifi!

Feeling

           ignored. used. back stabbed.

[itsraymundyadao]

The Friday Currently | 02

Today’s the grand rally for the Campus Student Government (CSG) of the Cagayan State University – Sanchez Mira campus where official will represent the students (really? in what way then?) this academic year 2016-2017. I’ve been at the gymnasium to listen for their head-banging speeches but my mind wanted to sit down and have movie marathons at the pub office. I just love staying at the pub office because first, it’s silent there; second, no pressure and stress; and third, no bullshit people that reminds me of the second why.

 Reading

           These cmd.exe and regedit.exe just to remove the write-protection of Bits’ flash drive. I’m with Mike and we almost watched all Youtube’s tutorials. Genewe nemen nemen eng lehet e. Pere de nemen meeles! *Mapapa-putangina ka na lang bigla eh* Tbh, Bits should’ve thrown that flash drive and buy something new, 64 GB ganern!

 Writing

           The Friday Currently vol. 02 and I’m scribbling my own calligraphy that I’ll send to Microsoft where Bill gates will pay me for being lazy and I’ll be rich, ganern! Emergherd!

 Listening

           Adele’s Hello remix by Marshmello (increases volume ‘til 200) and Robert Angel Mercurio’s laments regarding with the grand rally.

Conversation (Non-verbatim)

Robert Angel (EIC): Hindi niyo ko pwedeng i-boto!

Darrel (cartoonist): Bakit kuya?

EIC: Hindi niyo ko ka-distrito!

D: Bakit nga kuya?

EIC: Bakit ng ba?

             Then that’s it! Mga walang kwentang converasation na puno ng katarantaduhan at ka-talk-shitt-an. Bullshit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Idk why I’d listen with this convo for in the first place, I really don’t care! Nag-submit na kasi ng COC for Governor pero anong nangyari?! Nag­back-out amputa! Edi winner ang manok ko niyan! AGUINALDO FTW!

Thinking

           On what will happen to me after graduation? Emergherd! I’m so effin’ excited to leave the school and start to check my bucket list, one by one. I’m thankful that 21 days from now, I’ll be receiving my fucking diploma for me to go to fucking Paris, fucking UK and fucking Germany just to find my wife that will give me two kids (one girl, one boy). After giving birth, I’ll be killing her for me to go Phuket or Bangkok to have a sexual transformation.]

 Smelling

           The scent of the aircon, the messy pub room full of piled papers and overhauled shits and … dies

 Wishing

           To have fun this weekend. I mean, sleep the whole Saturday and Sunday. Then here comes Monday, pictorial na this mga baklaaaaaaa!~

 Hoping

           For world peace, love and affection, more food, sun, a plane ticket etc. Name it, I’ll have it!

 Wearing

           My favorite type A university uniform. I will really miss this uniform after my OJT uniforms! After graduation, I’ll bequeathed this to the worthy body and a person that is confidently beautiful with a boner! Charr (Landi din kapag may time no!)

 Loving

           This wallpaper by this bitch named Taylor Swift in her bad Blood music video, BAD BLOOD.  CATASTROPHE huh? Reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

 Wanting

           Free lunch from Angel for being his campaign manager for the past three years. Napaka-plastic ko! Ipapatalo ko pa baa ng manok kong si Aguinaldo! Blood is thicker than water no! CTE is for CTE, CBEA is for CBEa. That’s final! PWE

Needing

           A new black shoes. My shoes almost give up. He’s hungry na! HAHAHAHAHAHA

 Feeling

           SPF: Sexy, pretty and free!

[itsraymundyadao]

The Friday Currently 01

Today’s February 12. Two days before Valentines Day.

Do you have your dates now? Or do you still saving so much money just to bring your date to a very good resto and give your apple of your eye the best food ever. Well, no matter what happen... I’ll just lay down in bed while listening to Adele’s Hello. Yes! I’m single but I’m still blessed!

CURRENTLY

READING

Max Ermann’s Desiderata for my Tuesday lesson for my internship. I don’t know why I’m reading this atm but there’s an outside motivation that I must open another tabs for Facebook and Twitter. I just... I just don’t know. Tbh, procrastination is my greatest hidden natural ability.

WRITING

The Friday Currently 01

LISTENING

Charlie Puth’s Marvin Gaye featuring Meghan Trainor. I’m infatuated with Charlie Puth. I don’t know. I don’t know. I saw the music video and at its end, I’m thinking of slapping Meghan’s face with the paddles used by the PH dragon boat team.

THINKING

Of I should be sleeping now. I still need one day of a deep slumber. I must be sleeping now like Cinderella. At walang makakapigil sakin!

SMELLING

The peanuts I bought in front of the university.

WISHING

For “things” to get better and of course, a one-day slumber with Mario Maurer (wait, what?), my laptop be back and a free plane ticket to France.

HOPING

For a nice weekend ahead! For a nice Valentines Day to all couples out there! I just realize that the Philippine populace will be booming this November.

WEARING

My favorite black outfit and tattered pants. I just came from school with this outfit. Bought this shirt at Tuguegarao City.

LOVING

The shits happened to me.

See tweets here