gooodbye jojo @itwaswrydio - Tumblr Blog

actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,

wuackamole

hate to burst your fantasy, but

1) vampires don’t show up in film

2) vampires can’t cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

you’ve got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you’re wrong, but on the other hand, saying “you clearly didn’t read twilight” doesn’t exactly make you look like the bad guy here

foxgraves

blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool

sirlorence-deactivated20251220

fall-out-boy

on this day, 6 yrs ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz

fall-out-boy

Happy 15 yr anniversary of Bruno Mars being surprised to see Pete Wentz 🥹

hymnsofheresy

so my parents speak czech decently, but when they were learning it they were obsessed with the words hedgehog and baby jesus. both words sound similar to each other; "ježek" and "ježíšek" respectively. They used to get them mixed up in their heads all the time. but even after they eventually figured out the difference, as a joke they would still call the baby Jesus a hedgehog. and every time they saw a hedgehog, they would act like it's the most venerable thing in the world and refer to it as the blessed baby Jesus.

hymnsofheresy

my dad pointing to a hedgehog: “ježíšek!!!”

my mom, absolutely fucking going along with it: “little ježíšek !!! beautiful ježíšek!!! who else is worthy of our praise??”

vigilantsycamore

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

I'm a native czech speaker and I assure you 90% of native czech kids also mix them up and many adults continue with the joke

hazelek

Same in Poland

11l7

age related cognitive decline in early twenties

coolyo294

Free sushi at the bus stop on 10th st east in downtown st paul. For those who are interested

emergency-broadcast-system

frogmoss1

straigt up one marvle they are smaller and less harmful than a bowler ball.

drunknuncle

when i was in 10th grade i worked at subway and hated it so i made a bunch of hate URLs

powerburial

Babe, ever since I met you, your power level has been over 9000. With you, I know the cake won't be a lie. Together we can rule the galaxy, and all their base will belong to us. I can haz marriage?