Eight months after their first date, Luhan and Luna had gone on countless dates. They’re exclusively dating. They obviously like each other and neither makes an effort to hide that from the other.
“You love him, don’t you?” Zane pressed Luna for an answer. They are having their girl’s night out at Luna’s apartment this time.
“So, what’s stopping you from making it official?” Zane asked.
“Is the feeling not mutual?” Anya asked with a raised voice.
Zane elbowed Anya. “Have you not seen the boy? Luhan is whipped for our girl here. He looks at you like you’re the moon or maybe even universe. And he doesn’t even know that you’re the moon.” Zane made a reference to Luna’s name.
Luna couldn’t help but smile at that.
Luhan has met her friends a few months back. Her friends have been complaining that Luhan has been hogging Luna all for himself and they rarely see her. They fell in love with Luhan on their first meeting and have given their vote of confidence to be his boyfriend. ‘Luna, you hit the jackpot with that one,’ Anya once exclaimed.
“You’ve been dating each other for eight months. You never took that long before.”
“I guess I’m scared. This whole thing with Luhan isn’t the same as the others before. I’m scared I’ll lose him to fate.”
“And this is why I kept telling you to find your soulmate.” Zane let out a sigh of annoyance.
Anya threw a pillow at Zane. “You idiot! Our girl right here is in way too deep with Luhan and that’s what you tell her.”
Luna laughed, grateful that Anya understands the unspoken words.
Luna is in love with Luhan. There was no point in denying that. What she felt for Luhan was different and she knows it. Her past relationships were like thunderstorms. It was a love that leaves only wreckage behind. Luhan was the calm she never knew she needed. It wasn’t the earth shattering, gravity defying love. It was peaceful, the type that lulls you to sleep, a love that makes her feel safe. A love that feels like home. With Luhan, she felt like she can stop being strong all the time because she knows he would be there to hold her. With Luhan, she willingly broke all the walls she built all her life to let him in safely in her heart. And that’s what scares her. What if Luhan wasn’t in for the long haul? What if Luhan doesn’t feel as strongly for her as she does for him? What if one day Luhan decides to leave her and find his soulmate, just like all the others before him? It never scared her before. It was all part of playing against fate. But Luhan is so much more than fate that sometimes Luna can’t help but wish Luhan was her soulmate.
That night the three cramped themselves into Luna’s bed. While her two friends sleep peacefully beside her, Luna’s mind darts back to that one night she spent in Luhan’s apartment.
“Why do you not believe in fate?” Luhan asked out of nowhere.
Luna looked at Luhan’s brown eyes and saw how curious he is. She debated whether to answer or to just change the topic but settled for the former.
“Because fate doesn’t mean a happy ever after. Because you might be soulmates but still not end up spending the rest of your lives together. Because being soulmates doesn’t mean you would love that person forever. Because fate does not guarantee you wouldn’t get hurt. Fuck it, fate might actually be the reason why you get hurt so badly.”
Luna did not realize she has balled her hands into a fist until Luhan reached for her hand.
“I’ve seen it firsthand. I’ve seen how badly fate can hurt people. My parents are soulmates, but they divorced. My mom stayed with my dad for a very long time, believing fate would work its magic and make them okay again. My mom had to go through so much because she was holding on to a marriage for me, for a soulmate who is no longer in love with her. My dad cheated on my mom couple of times, but my mom thought my dad would always come back to his senses, to her, since they’re soulmates. Fate failed her though.” Luna laughed bitterly.
“Sorry you had to go through that.” Luhan was still holding her hand, massaging it gently.
“I guess I just wanted to be loved for who I am. I want someone to fall in love with me as I am and not because I’m his soulmate. I want someone to love me on his own free will and not because he is forced to like me because that what fate dictates.” Luna spoke her truth. She hasn’t told anyone about this and telling Luhan about this made her feel completely exposed.
“I like you whether you’re my soulmate or not.” Luhan said looking into Luna’s eyes.
“I think we’ve already established that from our first date.” Luna teased Luhan and the latter smiled and tightened her hold on Luna’s hand. “What about you? Why don’t you believe in fate? Or was I wrong to assume you don’t believe in fate since you’re here dating me who isn’t your soulmate?”
Luhan was silent for a few seconds, as if he was carefully choosing his words.
“It’s not that I don’t believe in fate.” Luhan started and Luna could feel her heart tighten already.
“This whole thing started as a revenge to my soulmate to be honest. I wanted to hurt her too in some way.”
Luna looked at Luhan incredulously.
“Have you ever heard about some soulmates being more connected than others?”
“Guess me and my soulmate is one of those few ones. There’s always this burning pain in my chest where her name is inked. I’ve read somewhere that when you’re more connected to your soulmate, when your soulmate dates or falls in love with someone other than you, you would feel it.”
This whole admission was keeping Luna dumbfounded.
“It started as that though,” Luhan continued. “Since she doesn’t want to do anything with me, I figured I might as well do what she’s doing and go on dates. I started more than two years ago. I’ve just had enough of getting hurt together with her and decided to find someone to spend the rest of my life with since clearly my soulmate doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Luna still hasn’t said a word. It was a lot to take in for her. Luhan raised his hands to hold Luna’s cheek to get her to look at him in the eyes.
“I really like you though. Please don’t think of you being a rebound or me trying to use you to get over my soulmate. I was not in love with her. How am I supposed to be in love with someone I only know the name of? Sure, I’ve been curious about her. I did try to find her until five years ago but that was it.”
Where Luhan’s hands touched her, Luna’s skin burns. Or maybe it was the serious look in Luhan’s eyes that’s making her insides feel warm. Luhan’s admission was not something she foresaw. It makes her more scared knowing how connected Luhan is to his soulmate. She has heard about it but had never personally knew anyone who had that connection. Well, aside from herself, that is. But no one knows about it and it is a secret she will keep until her grave. But there was something in Luhan’s words and assurance, the way he touches her, the way he looks at her, that makes her want to try and risk it all for Luhan.
Luna hopes Luhan would be worth breaking her heart again for.