ivoryauthor

A writer, a creator, a horrible artist, but I try. Random, sometimes witty and sarcastic.

[haemorrhaxe]

[wishbonemotel]

it’s so stupid that you can’t think your way out of the mental health trenches. like you can know exactly what is wrong, why it’s upsetting you, and you can walk yourself through all of it logically and Understand it but your brain just responds like

[marzipanandminutiae]

I am going to imagine a scene between two deeply fucked-up characters that is so improbably tender

[winterisrambling]

“Hello.  My name is Luke Skywalker.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”

“Never go up against a Mandalorian when death is on the line!” *immediately falls into Sarlacc pit*

“Bye, boys!  Have fun storming the Death Star!”

“Wampas Of Unusual Size?  I don’t think they exist.”

“Do you want me to send you back to where you were?  Unemployed, on Hoth?”

“It just so happens that Obi-Wan here is only mostly dead.”

[astriiformes]

“Give us the access code.” “What access code?” “Chewie, tear his arms off.” “Ohhh you mean this access code!”

“I could give you my word as a Corellian…” “No good. I’ve known too many Corellians”

“Why can’t I see?” “You’ve been mostly-frozen all day.”

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “I know”, what he meant was, “I love you.” 

“Why do you wear that black mask? Were you burned on Mustafar, or something like that?” “Oh no, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”

“Luke doesn’t get eaten by the rancor at this time. ”What?” “The rancor doesn’t get him. I’m explaining to you because you look nervous.”

[thelibrarina]

“The Fowce is what bwings us togevver today. It suwwounds us, and penetwates us. It binds the gawaxy togevver.”

[hst3000]

“What are our assets?” “My lightsaber, Chewie’s strength, and your brains.” “Impossible. Now if we had a power converter, that would be something…”

[shonyadrws]

“Wish I could be part of that world”

ofmd and the little mermaid? it’s a yes from me.

[seenthisepisode]

there will never be another destiel

[seenthisepisode]

like I AM SORRY but you can have your vampires fucking in the first episode of the series and you can have your pirates kissing in season ONE fine GOOD FOR YOU i want my ship to slap me in the face repeatedly for 12 years and then when it crashes and burns the whole internet crashes with it

[witblessed]

hoid: wow, odium coming back was really…….braizen

vasher: get off this planet immediately

[aplpaca]

hoid: damn no need to rayse your voice

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

[modelinterrupted]

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

[latenightsugar]

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

[just-jay25]

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

[kixgbear]

Shiddd

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

[glamhoeour-deactivated20251207]

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

[venusians]

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

[aiplejuice]

Oh hell nah I can’t even risking it I’ll reblog this rn

[blacksubzero90]

[imoverallofit]

I dont even joke with it

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Guys…

[verity644]

I trust this old ass woman with my life

[libelula202]

👆🏻Absolutely. Because it’s Madame Zeroni and she’s never do me dirty.

[otatma]

[saint-batrick]

i’m sorry to reblog this, i only ever try to reblog things that are like “reblog this and good things will happen but there are no negative consequences!”

but i am un-fucking-willing to risk a whammy from madame zeroni.

and hey, this version comes with immunity cat!

[of-lighthouses-and-krackens]

on a scale of taika “looked-blackbeard-up-on-wikipedia-once-and-said-fuck-it” waititi to rhys “took-sailing-lessons-to-prepare-for-role-of-incompetent-pirate-captain” darby, how bad are you at conducting relevant research

[fictionalnopantsparty]

Back when Clark and Lex were friends they would talk about their ambitions, how they wanted to make the world better. Clark believed that Journalism was the route to take. Letting the people know the truth and trusting them to make their own decisions based on the facts. Lex thought Politics was the best solution. People are stupid and petty and it's better for a rational, smart individual like him to make their choices for them. Though they disagreed about how best to go about it, they both agreed that the world needed improving and that they were best suited to do it. They made a promise to each other, to be there when they changed the world. When Clark became Editor and Chief of the Daily Planet, Lex would be there to toast him. When Lex became President, Clark would be there too. Due to several conflicts over the years, including various multiversal crises and memory loss, Lex no longer has any knowledge of this promise, or indeed their friendship at all. That doesn't stop Clark from fulfilling it though. The day of President Lex Luthor's inauguration Clark Kent is in the crowd, having insisted to Perry White that he be the one to go and cover the story, and even though he knows that at this point Lex being president will only cause him trouble, he still means it when he shakes his hand and congratulates him.

[fictionalnopantsparty]

Clark: why are you gay?

Lex: who says I'm gay?

Also Lex: *creates them a literal biological son*

Clark: you are gay.

[fictionalnopantsparty]

Clark: *speaking Spanish*

Lex: I know, I know.

Lois: You speak Spanish?

Lex: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Clark speaks.

[fictionalnopantsparty]

The villain coming across their hero crying or otherwise clearly being upset and immediately going to destroy whoever/whatever has hurt them is my new kink

[speckled-jim]

Love how throughout S1, Ed is flirting sexually and Stede is flirting romantically and neither of them Gets It, because Ed thinks he’s unlovable and Stede thinks he’s undesirable. When you realize their infatuations run in parallel lines, you understand how sudden the collision must have been and why the impact made them stagger the way they did.

[voluptuarian]

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

[queerism1969]

[docockbrainrot]

i love villains. redeemable or irredeemable. don't care. putting them in my mouth.