Tumblr Is Still Useful @ivydpinlove - Tumblr Blog

Posts

marriedandtattooed

brattychick46-deactivated202110

@darkfringes

darkfringes

*loves both, frequently - especially yours*

friendlyopen

This is exactly how I feel.

howtotrainyourhotwife

I mean, it’s not wrong!!

cumslutcleanup

naughtycouple1111

So true..... the best level

lovethoughtfulcollectionpainter

Suggestive Dirty Talk Options

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie playing. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.

whiskeyvixenandhubs

A Faithful Hotwife?

I hear it asked, how can you be married, be a hotwife, and call yourself faithful? I’m faithful to my husband’s love. I’m faithful to my husband’s wishes, his fantasies, and to the foundation on which our marriage is built on. I have faith in our honesty and our respect for each other. Now try to understand this, could be difficult to follow along. I am faithful to my sexuality. I’m faithful to my own heart and to the choices I make. I have faith that the path we both walk on is our own and don’t always have to be parallel, they just have to be headed in the same direction. I believe a hotwife lifestyle, in many ways is more faithful than many monogamous marriages because we’re too busy fucking and celebrating our marriage and not worrying about lies, deceit and betrayal.

whiskeyvixenandhubs

Even though this was the day that ultimately started my sexual revolution, it also was one of the most fearful days in my life. The way my brain works, I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. What am I not doing enough of that he wanted to try something so drastic? Or maybe he wants an excuse to sleep with other women. Or maybe this is the beginning of him pushing me away, is he dying, is he planning on leaving me, is he a perverted monster? Where the hell would I find the time to do this?

Other than the delirium, the thing I celebrate this day for most, isn’t for anything sexual, really. It was the day we made our marriage better. We made our communication skills better. We made honesty more than just a wedding vow. We made a real friendship between married people. We made lovers between best friends. We custom made our marriage, tailored to our own needs and wants. It was the day we found our freedom, we found that freedom in each other.

sharedwifedesires

Terms & Definitions:

Swingers: Typically a couple in which both partners are allowed to engage in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, often referred to as “full swap.”

Hotwife: A wife who has her husband’s permission to engage in sexual activities with other men. Also the term used to describe the fantasy with the same scenario. In this relationship all extra marital activities are approved of by the husband. Trust, respect, and the couple’s love for each other are central to the relationship.

Cuckold: A man in a relationship with a woman who engages in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, usually with a level of cheating and or humiliation. -Cuckolding

Cuckoldress: The female half of a cuckold relationship. A woman who engages in sex with men other than her husband, usually imposing a level humiliation on her husband about her extra marital activities.

Vixen: One term used to describe a woman in a Hotwife relationship.

Stag: One term used to describe a strong male figure in a Hotwife relationship.

Cucky: A humiliating term used to describe a man in a cuckold relationship.

Bull: The name often given to a wife’s repeat lover in a hotwife or cuckold arrangement

Reclaim: A term used to describe the passionate sex couples often experience the first time they have sex after one of them has has sex with someone outside of their relationship.

Hall Pass: Often used to describe a onetime “free pass” given to one of the members in a relationship to enjoy one sexual encounter with a person outside of the relationship.

Half Open Marriage: Used to describe a relationship in which one member of the relationship has the other‘s permission to enjoy complete sexual freedom, while the one remains completely faithful.

Shared Wife: A wife whose husband “shares” her sexually with other men.

MFM: A three some involving two men and one woman. In this arrangement the men are straight and focus on the woman.

MMF: A three some involving two men and one woman in which the men are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the woman.

FMF: A three some involving two women and one man. In this arrangement the women are straight and focus on the man.

FFM: A three some involving two women and one man in which the women are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the man.

Humiliation: A sexual kink which usually involves the woman verbally abusing the man about his inadequacies and inability to satisfy her, most often because of his penis size or his lack of stamina.

Tease and Denial: One partner sexually teases and leads the other on, only to get them excited and then deny them sexual gratification.

Edging: Binging a person right to the edge of orgasm and then slowing or stopping sexual activities thus denying them the pleasure of orgasm.

Ruined Orgasm: Bringing a person right to the point of orgasm, and then stopping resulting in a weak orgasm. This is usually achieved through the use of oral sex or masturbation.

SPH: Small Penis Humiliation, verbal abuse used to humiliate a man about his lack of length and or girth.

Male Chastity: A kink in which the man is most often secured in a chastity device, referred to as a cock cage, and is denied the pleasures of sexual intercourse as well as masturbation. Couples who engage in this kink often try to push the boundaries of how long the man can go without sexual release. This fetish often includes a level of humiliation as well.

Cock Cage: A metal or plastic device which locks to secure the penis. It is used impede the man’s ability to masturbate as well as achieve a full erection without being release by his key holder.

Key Holder: Most often the wife of a man confined to a cock cage. The key holder has full authority over the man’s ability to and the frequency of orgasms allowed. Often the key holder will use time in the cock cage as a punishment for her dissatisfaction with something the man has said or done.

Pegging: Used to describe a fetish in which the female uses a sex toy or strap on to perform anal sex on her male partner.

Wife Breeding: A fetish in which the wife is involved in unprotected sex with men other than her husband. The men ejaculate in the wife, thus presenting the possibility of pregnancy by men other than the husband.

Clean Up: An activity in which the man cleans up a woman after she has had sex with another man. Most often this is done after a lover has ejaculated into the woman’s vagina and the woman’s partner performs oral sex on her licking up as much of the other man’s sperm as possible.

Sloppy Seconds: A term used to describe the act of having sex with a woman after she has already had sex with another man. Most often after the first man has ejaculated inside of the woman’s vagina creating a “sloppy” situation for the second man.

Size Queen: A woman who prefers man with very large penises. Often with minimum size requirements which must be met before she will engage in sexual intercourse with a man.

BBC: Big Black Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a black man.

BWC: Big White Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a white man.

Queen Of Spades: The name sometimes given to a white woman who prefers sex with black men, often with above average penises.

elpasolace

A great source of terminology …

allaboutthehotwifelife

“Help me understand...”

Here are three different ways of thinking about the hotwife idea. They’re short, sweet, and to the point, but I think they might be helpful. Even couples who are already active might like this, because frankly, our society gets pretty weird and short-tempered about anyone who isn’t “just like everyone else” (whatever that means). Explanations like this can help people calm down and maybe even understand a little bit.

It’s kind of like a boudoir shoot. I can understand my husband getting aroused by seeing me feel sexy or pleasure myself. He’s aroused to think of me dressing up or playing with myself, but the thought of me “using” another man as my “sex toy” takes the arousal to a whole other level. It’s like a high-powered version of getting boudoir photos taken for him. I get turned on by turning him on, so it’s definitely about each other. Any other guy we involve is almost like the photographer, or even the props in a boudoir shoot–that guy is there to accentuate how sexy I am. The photographer or setting in a boudoir shoot might make me feel sexy, but I’m not going to stay at the studio forever or marry the photographer, because the whole point of the photo shoot is to do something sexy for my husband. In the end, I know I’m going to go home, and my husband is going to be revved up to see me, and all the attention will be on me, him, and us. That’s what hotwife sex is like too.

Sometimes I think about what it’s like to have a threesome with my husband and another guy… For some reason it feels safe to have my husband there, and it’s hot to think of two men giving me attention at the same time. Even back when I thought threesomes were too edgy, at least I understood the idea of a threesome. In my husband’s mind, hotwifing is a lot like this kind of a threesome. Two men are having sex with me, and they both know what’s going on, and it’s meant to be safe and organized. The difference is that I might not have both guys physically at the same time. It might be in sequence, where my husband gets turned on watching me get ready, then I spend time with the other guy, and finally return to my husband to seal the deal with him. I can guarantee both men are thinking about me at the same time, revisiting or anticipating the erotic time spent with me. This kind of threesome is just spread out differently, so we call it something different. But thinking of it this way helps me understand why it’s appealing. It’s not that weird at all. Whether I want to actually do it or not is a whole other matter, but at least I get it.

It’s about a whole lot more than sex. When I first met my husband, I had a lot of stereotypes about men, and he had a lot of stereotypes about women. I thought of men as rather straightforward, physical, intercourse-focused creatures. I’ve learned that my husband has an innate longing for communication, intimacy, and sharing all sorts of things uniquely with me. There are a lot of non-sexual ways to delve into communication and intimacy, and hotwife playing is just one of them. It gets us talking about our feelings, and about what makes us feel happy, insecure, hot, jealous, safe, or overwhelmed. It’s not the only way to dive deep into these things, but it makes this intimacy feel natural and important. We’re not longer just discussion our rational thoughts, but our imagination and feelings are right there, ready to be shared. It’s kind of sad that the only kind of sharing society focuses on is the sex with another man, when the longest-lasting and most powerful sharing takes place between me and my husband in our marriage.

averagenudity

Why a man would want his wife to sleep with another man?

Because I am proud of her and want others to validate that

Because I enjoy knowing that other men find my wife attractive

Because she has interest in improving her body and appearance as she dresses for other men, feeling sexy and desired

Because I want to bring out the sexy and confident woman in hiding

Because it’s all about her pleasure

Because I enjoy viewing her as the free independent spirit that she truly is

Because I like not having to be in charge all the time, to give up control, to be in a sense dominated and still be loved and accepted by the one that we love the most. All without the guilt or judgment that would normally come with it.

Because it brings out her naughty side

Because I want her to experience as much variety and pleasure as possible

Because she has a much higher sex drive than I do and it fills her sexual needs

Because I want my wife to have the most fun and the most powerful orgasms she can have

Because I get off watching her kiss another man

Because I want to see a larger cock in her

Because watching the love of my life being passionately fucked by another man is the most beautiful and erotic thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

The way her whole being responds to his touch and thrusts, the look of complete surrender in her eyes is the most gorgeous thing I have ever witnessed.

She comes back a new woman; I must fuck her again to call her mine and reclaim her

Because it makes the sex better between the two of us

I am not sure why

As you can see, there are a myriad of reasons why someone would want their wife to sleep with another man.

isharemywife15

All of the above!

naughtygingerfiles-deactivated2

True.

artfulthrobber

Mmmm hmmm

cuckold1one

Cuckold articles

Hotwife Lifestyle - One BIG Potential Problem and How to Avoid It

Many of the problems with the hotwife lifestyle come down to the differences in the ways men and women think. Never underestimate the magnitude of the task ahead of you if you want to get your wife or girlfriend to cuckold you. The trick isn’t just to get her to have hot sex with other guys but also to STAY emotionally faithful to you AND involve you to whatever extent you want to be involved. ….

Hotwife Advice for Women

think women tend to get a raw deal when it comes to finding advice on being a hotwife. It’s true there’s lots of information out there on the topic, but most of it is written by men for men; and the material that is written by women seems to be more about what they get up to rather than how to make it work. In other words, it’s also written for men. ….

The Hotwife Lifestyle for Beginners

The hotwife lifestyle appeals to many men and women of an open-minded nature who have a strong relationship and wish to explore beyond the horizons of traditional sexuality in regard to marriage and monogamy. …..

Hotwifing and the Four Stages of Cuckolding

Almost every marriage where cuckolding becomes the norm passes through these stages, and it’s important to realise they are entirely natural and normal.

The Ultimate Hotwife Lifestyle

What many men – and even fewer women – realize when they first start taking the idea of hotwifing and cuckolding as a serious possibility for them, is they are subtly changing the dynamic of their relationship and setting themselves up for a true lifestyle change. ….

How To Start Hotwifing

The question of how to start hotwifing is not as simple to answer as you might think. Or, rather, there is a simple answer but it’s not a very useful one: “just go out and fuck another man, dear”. Alas, that’s a recipe for disaster. …

How Does Hotwifing Enhance a Relationship?

At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding – where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging – would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong. But this is far from the truth, as you’ll see in this article…..

How Often Should Your Hotwife Play?

This is a topic for more advanced couples who are currently living the hotwife lifestyle or have definitely decided to “do it” – and now they’re just working out the details. And one detail that’s really important to work out properly and in advance is how often should your hotwife play?….

Cuckolding: Three Things Cuckolded Husbands Love The Most

There are many surprising benefits to being cuckolded for husbands, in terms of an enhanced relationship and, in a seeming paradox, a better sex life. But out of all of them three stand head and shoulders above the rest in terms of their ability to delight and excite the man whose wife has one or more lovers. We look at them in detail in this article….

Why Cuckolding Makes for a Happy and Fun Marriage

Why cuckolding is so popular a fantasy for men is a fascinating topic, and one it’s worth understanding before you take even your first, tentative steps into the hot wife and cuckolding lifestyle. So in this article we’ll look at why men have the cuckolding fantasy so often, and why the cuckolding hotwife lifestyle is so much fun for both of you….

Hotwifing - 3 Ways to Do It Successfully

This is perhaps the best choice of all, especially for couples are new to the hotwife lifestyle. In this article I share with you three simple choices for couples new to the hotwife lifestyle….

Hotwife Tips - 3 Hot Secrets for Ultimate Hotwife Pleasure

So, you’ve confessed your desires to your wife – you want her to have sex with other men – she’s agreed in principle, so now… how is it all going to work? So to give you a nudge in what I hope is a hopeful direction, here are three simple scenarios for couples new to hotwiving (you can also use these as ideas when first introducing your wife to the idea of getting into the lifestyle)….

The Ultimate Hotwife Night

The hotwife or cuckolding fantasy is a very popular one for men, but even though they think about it often, it’s rare they actually think about it very deeply. And the problem with this is the things you need to do to make the hotwife lifestyle appeal to your wife means sitting down and thinking about it a little more deeply than you have been doing – simply because when it comes to these things, men and women have a very different approach. That’s what we explore in this article…..

Can Hotwife Marriages Really Work?

It’s a fact that hotwifing is a very, very common male fantasy. Why this is so is open to debate, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s true…..

Hotwifing Benefits - Three Reasons Hotwifes Have Better Marriages

Odd as it may seem the hotwifing benefits you’ll experience if you can get your wife to take the plunge into the cuckolding lifestyle far outweigh the risks and disadvantages (with one proviso: hotwiving is for couples whose relationship is good but they want to improve it; if your relationship is already sexless and broken, then hotwiving will make things a lot worse). Discover here three HUGE benefits to the hotwife lifestyle…..

Hotwife Rules - 3 Tips to Successful Hotwifing

Hotwife rules won’t mean much to you if you’re in the minority of cases where the lifestyle is part of a wider female-dominated relationship where the only rule seems to be “she can do what she likes”. But for the majority, those who see hotwiving as being something to deepen and enhance a relationship of equals there are three rules you must follow…..

Hotwifing - Is It Wrong?

Hotwifing is an emotive subject with a lot of strong opinions held on both sides of the argument. But, the fundamental question is: Is Hotwifing Wrong? Unfortunately there’s no answer anyone can give and relieve the individual of answering the question for him- or herself…..

Hotwiving and What Your Wife Wants From It

The biggest mistake men make when they try to get their wives interested in hotwiving, is blundering in without giving a moment’s thought to what they’re trying to achieve. I mean, yes, they know what their goal is, but that’s the problem. They’re focused on it like a greyhound chasing a rabbit and are blind to all else – including the mess they’re making of things! In this sort article you will uncover the big shift in your thinking you need to make if you want your wife to become the dream Hotwife you crave….

How Does a Hotwife Pick Up a Lover?

The answer to the question, “how does a hotwife pick up a lover” must be… “very carefully!” But joking aside, in this short article you will discover three tips to selecting the right man to become your wife’s lover…..

How to Get Your Husband to Agree to a Hotwife Lifestyle

Usually, it’s the man who drives the hotwife lifestyle and then as his wife become more comfortable with it and realises he’s not going to ‘freak out’ at her seeing other men, she tends to become more outgoing and provocative. And, of course, men love this. But what about when it’s the wife who harbours the initial desire? In this short article you will discover some simple tips for women seeking to persuade their men to let them off the leash! …..

How Many Wives Would Like to Hotwife?

Since infidelity is the last big taboo, how many wives would like to hotwife? And it seems like a reasonable thing to ask since even though it’s a very common male fantasy, it seems women are turned off by the whole idea (but the truth I reveal in this short article will surprise you).,,,,,

Why Cuckolding Is Not the Same As an Affair

Cuckolding is NOT the same as having an affair, despite most people thinking it is. The crucial difference is one is done with the full knowledge, consent, and even approval of the husband, while the other is not. Discover the difference between cuckolding and affairs and finally uncover the truth about the delicious cuckolding lifestyle…….

The Hotwife Lifestyle - 3 Secrets to Make It Work!

For many couples the Hotwife lifestyle is a marriage saver - something you might find counterintuitive considering the pain, anguish and trouble infidelity typically causes in a marriage. But the hotwife lifestyle is different and can in fact bring couples closer together. In this short article you will discover the plain truth about the hotwife lifestyle…..

hwlover

THE MODERN MARRIAGE

LIFE IS SHORT…………If this is YOUR FANTASY …….. Make IT Happen……LOVE IT!

artfulthrobber

Why wife sharing/hotwifing?

Wife sharing has definitely been a process for me. A process that has lead to a lot of self discovery and personal growth. It has been one of the most unique and powerful experiences of my life. Its very unusual to me that letting my wife sleep with other men could impact our lives in such a positive way. I would go as far as to say that it has impacted my life to a greater magnitude than hers. The sheer thought of what most would consider betrayal, being not only a positive experience, but an experience that would create a culture inside of our marriage of trust and communication that would lead to a greater sense of closeness and love. It is a bit of a mind fuck, but none the less very true.

However, I feel as though, I have many questions that need to be answered. Questions about myself that I want answered. I mean, am I just a hormone driven man that is into some freaky shit, or is my desire derived of my gentleman nature, or maybe something in between. Why do I like wife sharing and what has it done for me? Why does my wife like the lifestyle, and what has it done for her? What has it done for my marriage? There are just some questions that are obviously going to be multi-layered and are probably going to evolve in the coming years. From what we have seen thus far, we have seen positive growth in both of our personal lives as well as in our marriage.

It is up to us to create a marriage that we both love. It is our responsibility to each other to create a marriage that enriches both our lives. Happiness takes many forms, and there are many ways to achieve happiness. The most important part of our wife sharing lifestyle, is that it is not something we need to be happy. There are plenty of other ways for us to be happy. Our marriage doesn’t lack anything, so as far as the marriage goes, we don’t need to add anything to it to make it satisfying. Things were really good before we got into the lifestyle, and we couldn’t imagine our relationship going to another level, everything felt really good. So why mess with a good thing, right.

It wasn’t easy for me to ask my wife if she would like to sleep with other men. I mean the notion of asking your wife to sleep with other men just seemed crazy. Crazy enough that I often felt broken. I knew my wife was an open minded person, but still I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it or if she was ready for it or if our marriage was ready for it. I also at this time didn’t know that there was a wifesharing or hotwife lifestyle out there. I seriously thought I was all by myself and that I just had a really strange kink. I grew up super conservative, so I had my own conscience working against me for over a decade. I just kept burying it deeper inside of me.

It wasn’t very long after we started dating that I had a dream about her being with another man. That dream had really turned me on, though I never brought it up to her. Then I started occasionally fantasizing about it, but always felt guilty about the fantasy. I know I dropped hints about wanting her to be with another man sexually, but I never pushed them. I at this time was not ready for it, that was for sure. It wasn’t for about 12 – 13 years into our relationship that I realized I was finally ready for it. We were at a point that things were more natural. No more toxic friends. We figured out what kind of people we wanted to have in our lives, we had all the children that we wanted, we had grown passed all the immature growing pains, and we were just in a really content place in our lives. Most importantly our marriage was bullet proof.

So I was trying to tell her for months, it may have been over half a year that I just finally blurted it out in the car on our way back from a weekend get away in the mountains. I was probably a bit awkward about it, but I said “I think I want to see another man fuck you”. She only said “okay” in a quiet not so sure what to say kind of way, I could tell she was short of breath and at a loss for words. I continued on to explain to her that I think it’ll be just a one time thing. Just something I thought I needed to get out of my system. Well that conversation started a lot more conversations. Over about a years worth of conversations to be exact. We talked about rules, and boundaries, we talked about each others fantasies. We saw sides of each other we had never seen before. This broke down nearly any wall left in our lives. We trusted each other like we never trusted before. The communication was amazing. It spilled over into all parts of our lives. We were living some sort of dream marriage.

This started as a kink of mine. One that I was embarrassed of, but my wife was very accepting of it. Not ever judgmental of me in any way. One may say, well she is the beneficiary of the true benefit here, and that being she gets to play with other men sexually, so of course she was accepting. While this is true, she never just jumped on board and took the fantasy and ran away with it. She considered it carefully, and she also considered and suggested that I find women to sleep with. So that door is open for me, and I do consider my options, believe you me. So even though this was born of a kinky pleasure, it has grown into something so special. It has increased the frequency of sex and flirting. It has made us emotionally closer. “She loved me enough to be faithful to me, but I loved her enough to want something more for her” - anonymous.

So the question, why do I like wife sharing? Or better stated more specifically. Why do I want my wife to fuck other men? A decade ago up to about a couple years ago, it was about a very specific kink that I wanted fulfilled. One that I thought if I saw it, I could move past it and go onto having a more stereotypical male fantasy. Well the accepting and non-judgmental nature of my wife is actually what turned it into something I (we) want to do long term for now. It became so much more than just getting off for me. It became another way to tell my wife I loved her. Another way to tell her I trusted her. Another way for me to spoil her. While it still turns me on, it also takes us to a level beyond other marriages around us. I see people suspicious of infidelity in their marriages. I see marriages dealing with insecurities and immaturaties. Marriages that lack trust and communication. I see that wife sharing would likely break these other marriages as well. It make me realize that my wife and I have something very special. We are dedicated to making our marriage work. No part of this lifestyle should ever effect our marriage negatively as long as we communicate honestly and openly.

So therefor I want my wife to fuck other men because it allows her to experience her sexuality in a variety of different ways. A woman’s sexual capacity is enormous, and no one man can peel back every layer of her sexuality. It takes many different personalities to peel back different layers. She deserves to experience that. I also want her to fuck other men, because I believe she deserves it. To give her a break from being a spouse, mother, and successful professional in the work place. I believe she has earned a good dicking and some time where she doesn’t have to think about anything other than just getting dicked really hard. Just letting her stress and inhibitions go. I also want her to fuck other men for my own selfish reasons. She comes home horny and I want to reclaim her. She is my personal pornstar and takes videos and pictures for me. I really enjoy helping plan her dates, give her some in-site as to what he may want, as well as helping her choose outfits and under garments.

In return, after the heat has died down and normal life takes its reigns again. We go through our day to day routines with a refreshed mind set. A refreshed closeness and love that helps keep things in perspective. Some people have different ways of achieving this same result, as do we, but for now I am only talking about the one peculiar thing we added to our marriage that made such a profound and uplifting shift in our relationship with each other that it is worth discussing and exploring.

As far as what this does for my wife and how it effects her. I think it effects her in a very similar fashion as it does me. Some of the differences are that she can flirt and play with other men with my full knowledge and support and not worry about judgment. She doesn’t have to worry about competing with other women, because honestly she is my fantasy. So I don’t really pursue other women, but when I do, I also do it with her knowledge. She also sees the genuine trust that has been magnified by this lifestyle. She has told me that she wants to add more men to her variety, but for now things are good the way they are. She can have as many lovers as she wants to as long as it doesn’t disrupt our marriage or our lives. She has my full support in exploring her sexuality. We live a very monogamous existence with each other, with the exception that sexual infidelity is allowed with the full knowledge of each other. Some would say that, that would automatically define our marriage as that of an open marriage or some sort of non-monogamous relationship. I simply don’t don’t see it that way and don’t really try to gravitate to defining it to particular words or groups. As far as we are concerned, we are monogamous in nature and we consider our marriage monogamous with benefits.

For anyone that would be skeptical of the lifestyle choice or of anything that I have had to say. I would applaud their skepticism. The choices we made were made cautiously and with much deliberation. We did not rush into anything and met the lifestyle choice with our own skepticism. The lifestyle is not for the many, it is for the few. I only hope it is viewed with an open heart and open mind. Just know that elevating your marriage can be found in the oddest places. There is no specific formula that works for everyone. Just be aware that it is through trusting each other and communicating with each other that anything may be possible. Even in this specific lifestyle we have made compromises with each other to make it work for us.

“My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to. I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. Yeah, this is my wish’. ~ Rascal Flatts

The Artful Throbber

hotwifelifestyle101

A great story to read!

oursexyexploration-deactivated2

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”. Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures. They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom. Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”. With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner. Is this really true, though? Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”? Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”. We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why? Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there. So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”. Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women. Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered. Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy. It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again. Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”. I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t. That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us. These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”. It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways. Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”. Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge. This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation. Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc. These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here… The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you. His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed. I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were. I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.

We’re women. We are strong and capable and we are smart. And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be. Where do we want to be? We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

dothisforme

So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?

Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if you’re not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.

What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know he’ll like it?

Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. We’re very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. He’s not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where he’s a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.

Some safety rules.

First thing first. We don’t want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so let’s get some safety rules down first.

• Talk about what he like and doesn’t like beforehand. What I’m writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. It’s important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.

• What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when you’re raging horny is valid when you’re not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, you’re going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how you’re also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.

• This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. You’re allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after he’s had his orgasm so you won’t create a distorted image in his head.

What dirty talking is not

Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husband’s fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldn’t care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that you’re talking about his fantasies means that he’s too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.

Don’t rush it

The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!

I’ll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him enjoy and simmer in it.

Don’t worry about repeating yourself

You might be thinking “but I already told him that story 3 times, I can’t think of something new”. Don’t worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.

And now…. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods that’ll make your husband lose his mind.

And then what

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”