I've got a bunch of sex ed stuff I'm just gonna toss into one ask have fun reading my essay
This may seem obvious to some people but definitely isn't to everyone, you can tap out of sex literally whenever. It doesn't matter if you or your partner are close to finishing, if you're uncomfortable and want to stop, you should be within your right to stop and be able to exercise that right.
Safewords can be used for completely vanilla sexual activity as well. Safe actions are similarly available to use for completely vanilla sexual activity. They aren't reserved for super kinky CNC play and BDSM, if you find that they would be useful for you...then use them!
More lube is better than too little lube. This applies to PIV, anal, scissoring, fingering, jacking someone off, tit fucking, thigh fucking, anything under the sun. You will prefer a messy clean up than a chafed body.
For kinky play this is important but for first timers and inexperienced people as well it's incredibly important for the people involved to do check-ins. See how everyone is feeling, see if anything needs to shift. This doesn't have to ruin the flow of the mood, a simple "does that feel good?" Can be a check-in if your partner agrees.
Take everything slow. It is your body. It is your genitalia. Your most sensitive zones. Take it slow. Take it easy. Take it at your own pace. If someone tries to rush you along and it's not something you both agreed would be hot to do then stop that encounter immediately.
For free-use kinksters or people with very grabby partners: you might want a non-verbal visual signal on whether or not you're safe to just grab and use. Me and my boyfriend have a bracelet I wear when I'm not in the mood to be played with. The opposite choice of a piece of jewelry that says you can be played with is also an option.
If you're physically disabled, work with your partner to find positions and techniques that work for you both without causing pain (or much pain). Sort out what to do afterwards to help you relax and heal from whatever pain is caused.
Aftercare is always important. Always. No matter what sexual activity happened. Check in with your partner, ask if it was good, if one person is more aware and physically able, get water and maybe snacks for both parties, clean up together, cuddle afterwards, that sort of stuff. It's very important to connect with your partner afterwards and make sure the sex was good for both of you, to make sure if it wasn't that something can be apologized for or fixed in the future.
Communicating your wants and needs is embarrassing but it's so important. Telling your partner what you want them to do is hot as hell and highly recommended so that both parties know what they're doing during the sexual encounter.
For the inexperienced, asking your partner to teach you how to pleasure them can also be incredibly hot (altho this may be my personal kinks creating a bias). If both you and your partner want to fuck each other, it's good to learn how you each best get off! What places to touch, what places to not touch, how to touch, what to say or not say, all sorts of things.
I love the attitude and tone taken in this ask. Thank you so much.