Advicefiguringitout

[iwantigot]

Shapewear is really toxic . It forces womens body to look a certain way(hourglass). And it doesn't matter how comfortable it is. At the end of the day the idea of shapewear is still trying to mold women to fit a beauty standard. A beauty standard that both body positivity and body neutrality are actively fighting against. So why are shapewears still so popular?

[angelinamei]

[play-doh-slut]

what do you mean normal people don’t get physically sick when they’re stressed out or when someone is mad at them

[charlestrask]

and after all this im still horny. the human spirit is unbreakable

[perfectfeelings]

“Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you.”

— William Paul Young, The Shack

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor via TikTok

[thoughtkick]

“Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.”

— Unknown

[a-game-is-the-foot]

Ok so if you’ve not lived in Britain at all this might be confusing. Let me explain why even this is getting my little republican heart excited.

So the former parasite is now lying in state in Westminster Hall; this 1000 year old hall in the parliamentary complex next to Big Ben. This is fairly standard for senior royals, prime ministers, and other such high status/high fame people in the UK.

What isn’t fairly standard is for a huge queue sweeping through central London of people wanting to see the coffin lying in state.

But us Brits, we love to queue. Or at least, indulge the love side of a love/hate relationship with it on a regular basis. It keeps things in order for us, it helps us make sense of the big things and the small things in life. We have clear cut rules. We understand when it’s appropriate to hold a space and when it’s appropriate to cut in (only if your life depended on it). We would happily queue forever to get into heaven.

But look at this mother…

Look at that beast. It’s the mother of all queues. The queue to end all queues. It’s our Everest. As a nation, we’ve been training for this day. It’s already about 5 miles long and I don’t think they have capacity beyond 6.9 miles.

You can’t cut in. You can’t rejoin The Queue. You can only briefly leave The Queue for the loo or the water fountain at the designated refreshment zones which are very few and far between. You can’t hold a spot for someone. It will continue 24/7. There are few places to sit or sleep. It will crawl at an impossibly slow but infuriatingly steady pace due to security at the finish line. You will be queueing for an estimated 30 hours. 30 hours of little food/drink/loo breaks/sleep.

The Queue is already a celebrity in its own right. Its volunteers will be lauded as heroes. They’ve been told to look out for people struggling and in need of medical help. This is NOT for the young, the old, the disabled, the pregnant, or the faint of heart.

And the prize? A couple of minutes looking at a (possibly empty) box containing the corpse of a 96 year old woman.

This is ludicrous and I am LIVING for it. The one good thing about this mess of a week. This so epic, so British high stakes/low impact sport.

[thoughtkick]

“Don’t listen to yourself; listen to the advice that you give others.”

— Michael Lottner

[everythingstarstuff]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[quotefeeling]

“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

[nonasuch]

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60. 

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

[nonasuch]

Okay so to refine this concept a little:

Our Hero is stuck in a job where he keep seeing people get promoted past him because they have a 4-year degree and he doesn’t. He can’t afford to go back to school until he finishes paying off his student loans for the degree he’s one semester from completing. If he got the promotion he wants he could pay them off a lot quicker. But he can’t get the promotion without the degree.

Along comes a clerical error in his almost-alma mater’s records which lists his birth year as 1948 instead of 1984. He gets a call from them about their “free tuition for seniors” program. “Wow, that sounds amazing!” he says. “I’ll be sure to tell my, uh, grandpa, as soon as he gets home.”

It’s one semester. If he can keep up the charade, he’ll have the degree, get the promotion, pay off the student loans. Hell, if they figure it out after the fact and come after him for the tuition, he’ll be able to afford it by then. He just needs to pass as a 70-year-old until graduation. How hard could it be?

His best friend (Chris Evans? don’t judge me) thinks this plan is insane. Our Hero is going to get caught. But Best Friend does have a little sister who’s a professional makeup artist, and she does know how to do age makeup. 

She also thinks this plan is insane– people at Alma Mater aren’t stupid! Someone will notice! But she’s game to try, and it’ll be great practice for her. 

She tells her aunt about this insane plan at a family dinner a few weeks later. “I mean, it’ll never work,” she says. “But I kind of want to see him try.”

“Uh-huh,” says her aunt, only half listening. She’s distracted for a reason, though– she’s going back to school, her first big independent decision since her husband died. Classes start soon! She’s excited, but also nervous.

Wackiness, obviously, ensues.

(at the end of the movie: “Am I technically your uncle now?” Our Hero asks. 

“NO,” both siblings say in unison. “She’s our aunt by marriage! That’s not how this works!”)

(also, someone in the notes suggested “Senior Year” for a title, which is PERFECT.)

(other outstanding suggestions from the notes: Harry Shum Jr. as Our Hero and Salma Hayak as his love interest.)

[saiyanqueenreads]

So long as the entire time this movie is also absolutely DRAGGING and spotlighting all the gross Hollywood/society double standards about relationship age gaps and women of a certain age… 

Like, I’d love it if our lady lead is actually doing acting or theater classes and is dealing with being hinted/told she’s “too old” for X, Y, Z parts as a B-story.

[jorahmormont]

— jane austen

[bestyouuniveristy]

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling but I just thought you should know that you’re amazing and deserve to be happy.

[staystrongandalwaysloveyourself]

[dumblr]

May the peace you’re looking for, find you.