Not enough people talk about how debilitating circadian rhythm sleep disorders can be.
[PT: not enough people talk about how debilitating circadian rhythm sleep disorders can be. /End PT]
It is genuinely so fucking exhausting living in a world built for people with a 9am-5pm (or at latest 11am) expectation of wakeness.
I have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder. Sleep disorders already aren't spoken about enough, but almost nobody talks about CRSDs.
CRSDs mean a person wakes and sleeps at atypical times. A person with a CRSD isn't just a "night owl" or "early bird".
They are not "choosing" their body's natural sleep schedule. (PT: They are not "choosing" their body's natural sleep schedule. /End PT.)
In fact, usually, they cannot voluntarily change their schedule - their body will not readjust to a schedule change, and will continue to produce melatonin and sleepy chemicals at its predetermined time.
Specifically, I have non-24 sleep wake disorder (N24.) This means that my sleep schedule either slowly shifts an hour or two every other day, or it drastically swaps.
Sunday: I am falling asleep at 9 pm and waking up at 10 am.
Monday: Same as sunday.
Tuesday: I am falling asleep at 11 pm and waking up at 12 pm.
Wednesday: Same as tuesday.
Thursday: Same as wednesday.
Friday: I am falling asleep at 2 am and waking up at 3 pm.
Saturday: I am falling asleep at 4 am and waking up at 5 pm.
Etc, etc, etc. My sleep either constantly does slow rotations over the course of several weeks, or one day I wake up and don't produce melatonin at all for like 20 hours, and suddenly my sleep schedule is turned all around.
I cannot take melatonin or sleep medications. [PT: I cannot take melatonin or sleep medications. /End PT]
It does not help. It just leaves me incredibly groggy and disoriented for literal weeks afterwards.
I cannot force it to change through all-nighters. Not really. Sure, after an all-nighter, I *physically* sleep at the "correct" time, but my body still produces melatonin at the time it wants to sleep, too.
So I may be physically awake at the "correct" time, but I'm *mentally* groggy and barely conscious.
N24 is debilitating. It makes you incapable of having 99% of jobs. It leaves you unable to spend time with friends like 70% of the time, unless you're willing to be groggy doing so, or they happen to be free to hang out during the times you're awake.
You can't schedule a lot of things in advance. You have to sacrifice sleep to do so, so you have to be selective about which things you schedule. I schedule two markets a month, maybe 1 other (non-work) event, and I pray my sleep schedule aligns. Most of the time, it doesn't align, and so I have to sacrifice my sleep.
Since 70% of my time awake is during the night, that means it gets lonely. It's depressing. Most places are closed at night, most people I know are asleep, my one solace is my best friend who lives across the world and is awake during the night, and my mom who also has a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (specifically delayed sleep phase disorder, which means she doesn't sleep until late into the night).
