keep in touch

I'm afraid to close my eyes in public. I might miss something really interesting. I should learn to mind my own bizzness.

[theclotheshorse]

Decades photographed by Mason Poole

[fairytalesfor20somethings]

When the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve, Cinderella’s coach turned back into a pumpkin and some drunk dude puked on her glass slippers.

[horrormmovies]

[thedoppelganger]

Charlotte March, International Photography Year Book, 1967

[under-radar-mag]

Making for some interesting bedfellows Grizzly Bear and The xx have announced that they will team up for a series of North American tour dates this coming summer.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

Wait wut. Omg.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

over and out.

"It's over and out In with the old, crush the new You're recycling her It was confirmed Watched from some sideline Stayed quiet and bright Silly me for thinking I was wrong Looking past the facts "Yeah, we're moving on" So much more to it than that But your thought process wasn't right You had the power, used it and abused it But its over I'm out It's funny how this happened Timing was wrong I really can't blame you Truth be told, I used you too." I am terrified of so many things these days. There's a lot to be afraid of in the big bad world. It's easier to be afraid with someone else. I sometimes get myself into pickles with that thought in mind. I want to go back in time. Everything is fucked right now.

[under-radar-mag]

Next month Trevor Powers, a.k.a.Youth Lagoon, will release his sophomore full-length Wondrous Bughouse.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

Yes, yes, yes. Panties are on fire.

[poptates]

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

'Tis true. I DON'T FEEL PAIN.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

what we go through

So, in a writing workshop I participated in not a long time ago (just kidding it was like, five years ago...) they had us write a poem, or fictional story with three minutes on the clock. I've heard of this practice before, I enjoyed it when I did it. Sometimes the best shit comes from you writing everything on your mind as quickly as possible. Almost word vomit, right? Well, I decided that with this writers block lately, I would go ahead and do that little excersize and get my brain moving. Frankly, I'm not really sure what I wrote about...and the vocabulary isn't the finest. I never intentionally rhyme but for some reason it felt really good. I feel like a gangsta. ENJOY.

"Bruise me, hurt me so good

I know you feel better when it's all on me

Relief for you, but everlasting damage on my memory

You won't stop, can't stop

You'll keep it all up

Not just with me, but with every other one

Should I warn them now?

No, I'll hold my tounge

Marking my mind with all of the deceit,

Now, why'd you have to lie?

It's all clear now, I can't ever be free 

Because it's true you left your mark on me

Run, run, run

I just can't believe what I let you see

So many other sides to the person I can be

Open up shop

Stop

Drop

I can turn around

But I can't walk away from this fast enough"

*Just a note if you decide to practice this "warm up", you are NOT ALLOWED TO ERASE ANYTHING. Make it messsssayyy.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

something i should have know.

"There is some silence There are no movements There are no emotions, easy see? When nothing means anything When simple things seem hard When your head feels tired, so you think with your heart Some great light was shown I swallowed my pride It hurt my throat We can wander, wonder Did I do it right this time? Time passes quickly, but it feels slow Wasted it Now it feels clean? Some things are meant to happen They aren't meant to be." Damn gurl.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

When life gives you scissors and five extra minutes, cut your bangs. (I guess I could have made my bed) #timeforwerk #sellsomestuff #Nordstrom #bangs

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

i hate when i'm right.

"Realizing you are in a competition you are bound to lose isn't much fun. That's why I'm dropping out. I know exactly how this will end because I have been in those shoes. I was the most obvious winner. Everyone knew that poor girl never had a chance. Now he's holding her hand while my heart breaks. But he still tells me everything will be ok." I be writin' erryday. I'm proud of myself because I'm actually spending time doing what I like to do. Now I have to go sell bras and undies.

[anitaleocadia]

Jamies Wang

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

I made progress today. Now I'm exhausted. #sleepy #myhobbiesmakemetired #zombie #stupidhead

[thestrutny]

There might not be mail today in the USA, but that didn’t stop The Postal Service from announcing their return (via The Postal Service is officially returning)

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

NOSTALGIA.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

I need to know how bad things got before they got better.

In the midst of this whole writing business, I decided to pull out my old journals from years past. I traveled through time, and tried desperately to decipher my quick and messy handwriting. I found a little “passage” from September 2011.

Now, I don’t know how you journal, but when I journal I usually spend a good twenty to thirty minutes telling myself what a shitty job I’m doing at life. I talk about all of the things that need to change, the things I would like to improve and where I would like to go. Then, I sometimes catch myself writing things that matter.

That’s what happened tonight:

“I’m confused. I am having a midlife crisis twenty years before it is even due. I have rushed life. I’m trying to check all the boxes before time runs out. So everything is falling down right now. People are disappearing; I’m putting myself in one shitty situation after another. All because I had to have it all, God knows I can’t be satisfied with reality.

Right now, my most serious issue is the ability to be selfish. I have the ability to pretend that everything is ok and I have the strength to endure very sticky situations, but fuck I can’t be selfish. Some selfish is allowed, right? I figured writing this all down might benefit the future me; it might make me see how bad things actually got before they got better. In reality, there was a time when things were really fantastic. Now, I’ve hit the rockiest rock bottom of all time. If I don’t really learn how to be a little more selfish, I won’t learn happiness. You need to take a little, or else you run out when you give it all away.

I have some friends that come to me with their issues, and I would love more than anything to help them out of their giant pits of despair. When it comes down to it, I don’t have advice worthwhile. Fuck, I walk around with blinders half of the time, and I try to block out all of the bad things by pretending they never happened. That hasn’t gotten me anywhere. So don’t listen to me. I have no answers for you. I am SO incredibly NOT credible when it comes to lessons learned. I don’t learn lessons, I refuse to absorb all of the terrible bullshit this universe keeps throwing at me.

Will I ever learn?”

So, wow. Yeah, I have come a long way. God damn, I’m so proud of myself right now

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

so i'm writing again...

It has been forever since I have written anything. I think I hold myself back. I'm discouraged because I feel like I will start and never finish, come back to what I wrote and be fucking pissed because it's actually a fucking good story. So here we go again. I suppose I will just be posting random tidbits of this particular story I am writing... Let's see how this goes. "You are like a well written story. You can't be your first draft. You have to change. You have to grow. You have to become the best version of yourself possible. Don't be your first draft." I have a feeling this will be the begining of the end.

[iwillbebetterthaniwas]

It's a funny thing.

Loss. Death. Losing someone you love can be an odd thing. Suddenly, they're gone and you are left with an overwhelming sense of emptiness. That person you were so used to seeing, or having the ability to contact at any moment is no longer reachable. You are left with silence. Loss is a funny thing because you don't really know how to react. You don't know what to do. All of the plans you made come to a screeching halt and you have to imagine life without them. Loss is a funny thing because you suddenly forget all of the shitty things that person did, you almost make them a saint. Every memory you attach to them are now the good ones. Loss makes us realize, "Woah, man, I'm not safe." You suddenly feel vulnerable. Loss is funny because now you know what it truly feels like to lose a part of your history. You will create no other memories with this person. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of losing more people who I owe so much of myself to. I'm afraid of missing someone else. I'm terrified of grief. I miss you mom. I miss you so much. Losing you was so unfair. I have so much to share with you. There's so much you've missed. But I am grateful you no longer have to struggle, and I'm grateful that you made sure I knew how much you loved me before you went. I'm not a little girl anymore, but I.still remember you like I did when I was eight. And I won't ever forget you, your smile, your laugh and your unbelievable strength. Rest easy.