I Wrote this for Us

This is a place to find yourself...A place for you to heal...

[stay-close]

“You did something for me I couldn’t do for myself. You loved me for who I am.”

— William Chapman

[mournfulroses]

Ivan Bunin, from Sunstroke: Selected Stories of Ivan Bunin; "The Hunchback's Affair,"

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

There's a fucking universe in you

And sometimes when you break it's to shine your light on the world a little brighter

I wrote this for us

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

But It Was Real

One day,

My imprint won't be so poignant 

It will be faint enough 

You'll think of me

As just some sick, twisted dream

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

I drink sweet tea, to cover up all the  b i t t e r n e s s  in me

Iwrotethisforus

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

Same Room, Same Air

The first drag I ever took of a cigarette left the taste of ash in my mouth 

And a burning in my throat all the way to my lungs 

Until I coughed so much I felt sick 

That's how I feel being in the same room, breathing the same air as you 

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

The Chaos Within

I write to make sense of the chaos in my head

Trying to speak the words only leaves them on the tip of my tongue

For if they left my lips and floated to someone else’s ears

I'm almost certain there would be a crusade of my bones 

Instead of a compassionate understanding of my soul

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

How ironic

That we draw countless h e a r t s

On the body

We so viciously h a t e

Iwrotethisforus

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

Day vs Night

How peculiar it is to be sad when the sun is shining

Feeling out of place and exposed

When the sun and daylight is portrayed as happy and joyful

But all you feel is overwhelmed and shut out

Everything seems so heavy

***

Then the sun sets

And it's like a blanket of comfort wafting over you

There are no expectations because the rest of the world is asleep

You find your peace in the dark and make sense of all your emotions

There's solace in the melancholy of the night

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

So You’re Smoking Again...

Some of us have demons we thought we exorcised The truth is they just went into hiding and became dormant Well, mine has come back out to play Wreaking his havoc through my entire body The nicotine is the safest way I can ward him off While I try to figure out how to get rid of him completely

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

One of the hardest things at any point in life is having to admit that you've failed. The second hardest thing is remembering that not every failure is a bad thing.

-excerpt from Chapter 2: The Bleeding

(iwrotethisformexforyouxforus)

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

I bleed in pastels to mimic the beauty of sunsets.

excerpt from Chapter 1: The Shattering (iwrotethisformexforyouxforus)

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

Untitled VIII

Sometimes I get so lost in my own head

Then you pull me in closer like I'm the oxygen you need

Little did you know it was you who was saving me

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

When you're happy they're clear and bright like the sky, but when you're sad they're deep and dark like the ocean.

your eyes

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

You say that the only reason it's raining today is because you're sad. Oh, if only that were true. But you and your emotions alone cannot control the weather. The rain simply reminds you that you are sad. If someone had sole control of the weather do you think the sun would ever shine?

Emotions and the Weather

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

People Like Me

See people like me We don’t reach out for help We don’t ask We don’t say something is wrong It seems weak Especially when everyone else is fine Why ruin someone else’s day? Then there’s two of us having a bad day So we drink Or we start smoking Waiting for you to say something Maybe we just stay in our rooms Or deject from conversations Waiting for someone to reach out Because we’re scared to admit we’re not perfect Because everyone has to be FUCKING perfect What happens if no one notices? Oh, I’m glad you asked! We continue our bad habits Whatever they may be Until they send us over the edge And we break completely 

[iwrotethisformexforyouxforus]

Volcanoes

I’m a volcano And you’re the iceberg I melt straight through Spewing angry words like lava Until you’re nothing but a puddle on the floor It’s not what I want It’s not what you deserve I wish I were less volatile I’m sorry for my loss of control Volcanoes are unpredictable And I’m trying to become dormant Without killing the better parts of me